Kid Around with 220+ Hilarious Puns & Jokes for Kids

Welcome to the world of kids puns and jokes! Get ready to laugh out loud with our best selection of puns about kids. We’ve compiled a list of clever and positive jokes that are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone, and make even the grumpiest adult crack a smile. These humor-filled puns are not just for kids, but can also be enjoyed by the whole family. So sit back, relax, and get ready to have some fun with these hilarious jokes for kids!

Laugh Your Way through Childhood with These Top Kids’ Puns & Jokes

1. Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
2. What did the grape say when the kid stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
3. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
4. What do you call a kid who won’t sit still? A me-tornado!
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
6. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it’s “R,” but it actually be the “C”!
7. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
8. I told my kid a joke about a broken pencil. He didn’t get it, so I had to point it out.
9. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
10. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
11. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up!
12. What do you call a secret group of cats? A meow-tia!
13. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because he was already stuffed.
14. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
15. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain!
16. How do you know when someone is a vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
17. Why did the apple go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
18. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
19. What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed.
20. Why aren’t koalas actual bears? They don’t meet the koalafications!

Tickle Their Funny Bones with These Kids’ One-Liner Jokes!

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
3. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
4. I used to play piano by ear, now I use my hands.
5. Did you hear about the kid who invented a knock-knock joke? He won the “No-bell” prize!
6. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
7. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
8. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
9. A chicken crossing the road is truly poultry in motion.
10. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
11. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
12. What do you call a pig that knows karate? Pork chop.
13. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
14. How does a penguin make pancakes? With its flippers.
15. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up pants.
16. I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.
17. What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
18. I don’t trust stairs…they’re always up to something.
19. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
20. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

Kiddie Wit: Hilarious Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Kids

1. “Children are like credit cards- you never know the balance until you get the bill.”
2. “A child’s mind is like a sponge- full of knowledge, but will also soak up anything you spill on it.”
3. “The best way to teach your child to be independent is to not let them clean up after themselves.”
4. “A child’s laughter is the best medicine, especially when it’s directed at your expense.”
5. “Raising kids is like being a referee- you’re always breaking up fights and no one is happy with the outcome.”
6. “Little kids, big problems. Big kids, bigger problems. No kids, you’re still sleeping with a nightlight on.”
7. “A child’s love is like a boomerang- it will always come back to hit you in the face.”
8. “Having one child is like having a pet, having two is like having a zoo.”
9. “Teaching a child to save money is like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands- it’s possible, but very messy.”
10. “Children are like mirrors- they reflect everything you say and do, which can be both hilarious and terrifying.”
11. “Raising children is like trying to clean a house while it’s still being built.”
12. “A child’s idea of cleaning is rearranging the mess.”
13. “Being a parent means accepting the fact that ‘sleeping in’ now means 7am on a Saturday.”
14. “A child’s questions can range from ‘why is the sky blue?’ to ‘why can’t I marry the TV remote?'”
15. “The days are long, but the years are short when raising a child.”
16. “A child’s definition of ‘later’ is ‘never’ and their definition of ‘soon’ is ‘in the next five minutes’.”
17. “A child’s version of ‘helping’ is often making more work for yourself.”
18. “Finding a balance between being your child’s best friend and their parent is like walking on a tightrope- one wrong move and you’ll fall.”
19. “A child’s tears can quickly turn into giggles, and then back to tears in a matter of seconds.”
20. “The only time children will sit still is when you tell them not to move.”

Unleashing Giggles: QnA Jokes & Puns about Kids!

1. Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because it was feeling crumbly!
2. Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A: A gummy bear!
3. Q: Why did the chicken go to school? A: To get a higher pecking order!
4. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An inVESTigator!
5. Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!
6. Q: What did one hat say to the other? A: You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!
7. Q: Why did the tomato turn red? A: It saw the salad dressing!
8. Q: How does a penguin build its house? A: Igloos it together!
9. Q: What did the grape do when it was stepped on? A: It let out a little wine!
10. Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An impasta!
11. Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because it had too many problems!
12. Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? A: An investi-gator!
13. Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? A: Because it was two-tired!
14. Q: What kind of shoes do spies wear? A: Sneak-ers!
15. Q: How does the moon cut its hair? A: Eclipse it!
16. Q: What do you call a cow that plays an instrument? A: A moo-sician!
17. Q: Why did the boy eat his homework? A: Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
18. Q: What did one pencil say to the other pencil? A: You’re looking sharp!
19. Q: What do you call a belt made out of watches? A: A waist of time!
20. Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? A: Because it was two-tired!

Tickle Your Funny Bone: Dad Jokes & Puns about Kids That Will Leave You in Stitches!

1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
2. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
3. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.
4. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
5. I started a band called “999 Megabytes” – we haven’t gotten a gig yet.
6. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
7. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
8. What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
9. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s R, but it’s actually the C.
10. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I can’t seem to put it down.
11. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
12. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
13. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
14. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
15. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
16. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
17. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
18. Why don’t seagulls fly by the bay? Because they’d be bagels.
19. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
20. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.

Punny Kids: Double the Laughs with These Entertaining Entendres!

1. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
2. “Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems!”
3. “Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly!”
4. “Why did the broom go to bed? Because it was swept off its feet!”
5. “Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!”
6. “Why can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
7. “Why did the chicken go to the seance? To get to the other side!”
8. “Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!”
9. “Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!”
10. “Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!”
11. “Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants!”
12. “Why did the orange become famous? Because it was peel-able!”
13. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!”
14. “Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright!”
15. “Why did the tomato family have a barbecue? Because they wanted to ketchup!”
16. “Why did the koala go to the doctor? Because it was feeling eucalyptus!”
17. “Why was the math book sad on Friday? Because it had a lot of problems to solve over the weekend!”
18. “Why did the tree need a new car? Because it kept branching out!”
19. “Why did the skeleton go to the BBQ? To get a spare rib!”
20. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!”

Going down the rabbit hole of playful wordplay – recursive puns about kids

1. “Why did the child bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to be a high achiever!”
2. “Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.”
3. “Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.”
4. “Why did the student study in the airplane? Because he wanted to reach new heights.”
5. “Why did the crayon go to therapy? Because it was feeling a little un-drawn.”
6. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.”
7. “Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.”
8. “Why did the student bring a ruler to bed? To measure his dreams.”
9. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.”
10. “Why was the belt arrested? For holding up pants.”
11. “Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side of the road.”
12. “Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? He needed more space.”
13. “Why did the volleyball player go to the bank? She wanted to make some tips.”
14. “Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.”
15. “Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to dance with.”
16. “Why did the fish practice yoga? To become a koi master.”
17. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the kettle boiling.”
18. “Why did the teacher wear sunglasses in class? Because her students were so bright.”
19. “Why did the elephant bring a backpack to school? It wanted to be trunk ready for the day.”
20. “Why did the letter A go on a vacation? It needed some time alone with its vowels.”

Tickling Funny Bones: Hilarious Kids’ Juxtaposition Jokes

1. Why did the math book go to the doctor? Because it had too many problems!
2. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
3. What did the grape do when it was stepped on? It let out a little wine!
4. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved!
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
6. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly!
7. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator!
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
10. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
11. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine!
12. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
13. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
14. Why is there a gate around the graveyard? Because people are dying to get in!
15. What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
16. Why can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
17. What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed!
18. Why was the math test sad? Because it had too many problems!
19. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator!
20. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Fun with Phonetics: Hilariously Innocent Kids’ Malapropisms

1. “I’m feeling a little malaria today.” (malaria instead of melancholy)
2. “Dinosaurs are so preposterous!” (preposterous instead of prehistoric)
3. “Can I have some French cries with my burger?” (French fries instead of fries)
4. “I can’t wait to go to the zubermarket!” (zubermarket instead of supermarket)
5. “My mom is the queen of multitasking. She can do three things at once!” (multitasking instead of multitasking)
6. “I’m just a little feminist about my toys.” (feminist instead of possessive)
7. “I’m allergic to grammar.” (grammar instead of granola)
8. “I really like this teacher. She’s very illiterate.” (illiterate instead of intelligent)
9. “Is it true that Santa Cross stores the presents in a big, frozen pole?” (pole instead of pole)
10. “I’m not tired, I’m exhaustipated!” (exhausted and constipated combined)
11. “My dad said he’s going to write a eulogy for work next week.” (eulogy instead of eulogy)
12. “Mom, can we go to the watermelonslide?” (watermelonslide instead of waterslide)
13. “I like to eat my eggs for breakfast on Toaster Coast.” (coast instead of toast)
14. “I wish I could time travel to the Mozart period.” (Mozart instead of medieval)
15. “I’m going to be a veterinarian when I grow up, so I can help sick animals have babies.” (veterinarian instead of veterinarian)
16. “Can we go to the Acropolis today? I heard the food is really good there.” (Acropolis instead of restaurant)
17. “My mom said she’ll love me until the cows come home.” (cows instead of clouds)
18. “I bet unicorns have magical powers, like turning water into sugar.” (unicorns instead of mermaids)
19. “When I grow up, I want to be a gynecologist, so I can play with baby dolls.” (gynecologist instead of pediatrician)
20. “I love playing the staccato overture on my piano!” (staccato instead of legato)

Quick Thinking for the Kids: Tom Swifties with a Twist!

1. “I love playing with Legos,” said Tim block-by-block.
2. “I dropped my ice cream,” cried Lily meltingly.
3. “I can’t find my socks,” sighed Jack de-feeted.
4. “I finished all my broccoli,” boasted Emily veggie-tatively.
5. “I can’t do math,” grumbled Max minus-ciously.
6. “I hate going to bed,” yawned Owen sleepily.
7. “I’m so excited for recess,” jumped Jenna hop-pily.
8. “I won the spelling bee,” spelled out Sara triumph-antly.
9. “I hate wearing sunscreen,” complained Sam burn-ingly.
10. “I saw a spider in the bathroom,” screamed Alex arachno-phobically.
11. “I can’t wait to go on the rollercoaster,” squealed Mia thrill-edly.
12. “I have a toothache,” moaned Dan distantly.
13. “I ate too much candy,” admitted Nate sweet-ly.
14. “I don’t want to share my toys,” protested Zoe play-fully.
15. “I want to be a doctor when I grow up,” diagnosed Ellie med-ically.
16. “I have a loose tooth,” wiggled Josh toothily.
17. “I don’t like vegetables,” grimaced Ben vegeta-bly.
18. “I love going to the zoo,” roared Ethan animal-ly.
19. “I’m allergic to cats,” sneezed Ava kitty-ingly.
20. “I’m taking up guitar lessons,” strummed Chris chord-ially.

Tricky Tongue Twisters: Spoonerisms about Kids

1. “Munkey Bars” instead of “Monkey Bars”
2. “Spypo Kid” instead of “Kooky Spid”
3. “Boppy Rall” instead of “Robby Ball”
4. “Lacky Temon” instead of “Tacky Lemon”
5. “Nose Dog” instead of “Dose Nog”
6. “Pumpy Sok” instead of “Sumpy Pok”
7. “Tiggy Riddle” instead of “Riggy Tiddle”
8. “Golly Pizzer” instead of “Polly Gizzard”
9. “Hunny Bole” instead of “Bunny Hole”
10. “Kinder Pup” instead of “Pinder Cup”
11. “Froggy Plick” instead of “Poggy Flick”
12. “Cute Wagon” instead of “Woot Cagon”
13. “Dagger Bike” instead of “Bagger Dyke”
14. “Jumpy Socks” instead of “Stumpy Jocks”
15. “Humpty Poggy” instead of “Pumpty Hoggy”
16. “Binkledy Bop” instead of “Wrinkledy Top”
17. “Wiggly Borm” instead of “Biggly Worm”
18. “Fiddly Gungle” instead of “Giddly Fungle”
19. “Licky Sicker” instead of “Sicky Licker”
20. “Puppy Chones” instead of “Chubby Phones”.

Bringing on the Comedy with Knock-knock Jokes about Kids

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s only me!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh-MOOOOOO!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in and we’ll tell you a joke!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honeybee. Honeybee who? Honeybee a dear and get me some more honey.
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wood. Wood who? Wood you like to hear another joke?
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey have to keep telling jokes? Yes, we dew.
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gorilla. Gorilla who? Gorilla me a burger, please!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Just in time for some more jokes!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I prefer peanuts.
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub, I’m drowning!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita to go to the park and play!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and I don’t care who knows it!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, I’m hungry!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Don’t be sad, it’s only me!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cereal. Cereal who? Cereal pleasure to meet you.
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Theresa. Theresa who? Theresa laptop, let me in!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No silly, cows say MOO!

Kid-ding Around One Pun at a Time!

Now that you’ve had your daily dose of giggles and groans with these 220+ jokes about kids, it’s time to tuck them into bed and go read some more puns and jokes about parenting or family. Trust me, they’re a real knee-slapper! And who knows, maybe you’ll even pick up some new material to entertain the little ones tomorrow. So keep on laughing and make sure to catch up on all the other punny posts too. Goodnight, sleep tight, and don’t let the dad jokes bite!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

Facebook Pinterest Threads X (Twitter) YouTube