Hey there, wine enthusiasts and pun connoisseurs! Are you ready to uncork the best list of wine-related humor? Get ready to raise a glass and giggle your way through over 150 clever and positively hilarious wine puns. Whether you’re a sommelier with a taste for wordplay or just love a good laugh with your vino, this collection of funny jokes is sure to leave you sipping and giggling in good spirits. Cheers to the grape-est humor around!
Uncorking the Laughs: Top Editorial Picks for Wine Puns
- I’m aging like a fine wine, getting better with time and a lot of fermentation.
- I’m on cloud wine after drinking too much of it.
- I’m not a wino, I’m a wine-yes.
- I’m de-vine for a good glass of wine.
- I’m a little winey when I don’t have my glass of vino.
- I’m not a wine snob, I’m just a grape enthusiast.
- I’m feeling wine-tastic after a few glasses of Cabernet.
- I’m not a sommelier, but I know how to have a grape time.
- I’m not wining, I’m just fermenting my thoughts with some Pinot Noir.
- I’m not a wine critic, but I know a good riesling when I see one.
- I’m on cloud wine when I find a new favorite bottle.
- I’m not a winemaker, but I can still crush it with my witty remarks.
- I’m not a grape, but I tend to wine a lot when I’m out of vino.
- I’m not tipsy, I’m just high on my own suppleness.
- I’m not a wine expert, but I do have a grape sense of humor.

Wine Not? Pour-Fectly Punbelievable Compound Puns!
- I’m in a riesling good mood today!
- I find myself wine-ing down every evening.
- This is grape news, I just saved a lot of money on my wine!
- It’s wine o’clock somewhere, right?
- Don’t wine about it, just pour another glass.
- I’m aging like a fine wine, getting better with time.
- I’m aging gracefully, just like a good bottle of wine.
- Don’t be a sour grape, join in on the fun!
- I’m feeling vine after a glass of wine.
- I’m not drunk, I’m just grapeful for all of you.
- I’m not a wino, I’m a wine-enthusiast!
Sipping on Some Grape Humor: Wine One-liners Puns
- I’m not a wine connoisseur, I’m just grape at drinking it.
- I always have a grape time when I’m sipping on wine.
- I wine a little, and then I feel better.
- I’m enjoying a chardonnay, it’s my kind of grape juice.
- I’m merlot in love with this wine.
- I’m not a wino, I’m just grape at enjoying a glass or two.
- I’ll be there in a Pinot Noir minute.
- I love to have a Shiraz with my friends, it’s the wine thing to do.
- I always say, “Sip happens” when I spill my wine.
- I’m not a whiner, I’m just enjoying my wine.
- I’ll stop the world and melt with you… along with a nice glass of wine.
- I can make pour decisions when I’ve had too much wine.
- Wine a little, laugh a lot – that’s my motto.
- I’m not a wine snob, I just have a grape palate.
- It’s wine o’clock somewhere, let’s raise a glass!
- I’m not a regular mom, I’m a wine mom.
- I’m on cloud wine with this vintage.
- I’m not a sommelier, I just play one at wine tastings.
- I’m all about that bouquet, no treble.

Uncorking Laughs: Hilarious Wine Tom Swifties
- “I’m not sure if I should have another glass,” said Tom winely.
- “I love to sip on a nice Merlot,” Tom said winedly.
- “I can’t pour this wine without spilling,” Tom said sloppily.
- “I only drink wine on days that end in ‘y’,” Tom said week-daily.
- “I prefer my wine chilled,” Tom said coolly.
- “I’ll have another glass, it’s grape to see you,” Tom said fruitfully.
- “I never mix my wines,” Tom said distinctly.
- “I can’t decide on a bottle,” Tom said indecisively.
- “I think this wine is corked,” Tom said disgustedly.
- “I’m not a fan of red wine,” Tom said whitely.
- “I can’t find a corkscrew anywhere,” Tom said screwily.
- “I love to enjoy a glass of wine with friends,” Tom said socially.
- “I’ll have just one more glass,” Tom said cautiously.
- “I need to let this wine breathe,” Tom said aerodynamically.
- “I’ll only drink French wine,” Tom said authoritatively.
- “I never drink cheap wine,” Tom said pricily.
- “I never spill a drop of precious wine,” Tom said carefully.
- “I’m aging like a fine wine,” Tom said maturely.
- “I prefer to drink my wine in peace,” Tom said serenely.
- “I love the sound of a popping cork,” Tom said sparklingly.
Sippy Cups for Little Winers
- Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
- What do you call a group of young grapes? The grape bunch!
- Why was the grape upset? It was in a real vine-dicament!
- How did the little grape feel when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine!
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- Why did the grape go out with the raisin? Because it couldn’t find a date!
- What’s a grape’s favorite TV show? Sour Grapes!
- Why did the grape refuse to be turned into wine? It didn’t want to be bottled up!
- How do you make a grape laugh? You tickle its vine!
- Why did the grape go to the doctor? It was feeling a little un”wine”d!
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine of pain!
- Why did the grape bring a blanket to the party? It heard it was going to be a little vine-y!
- What’s a grape’s favorite kind of music? The grape-est hits!
- Why did the grape get in trouble at school? It was raisin a ruckus!
- Why did the grape go to the party alone? It couldn’t find a good wine-date!
- What’s a grape’s favorite sport? Squash!
- Why did the grape roll down the hill? It heard it was a grape time!
- What did the grape do when it winced? It let out a little wine of pain!
- Why was the grape so sweet? It had a grape personality!
- Why did the grape refuse to be made into wine? It didn’t want to be bottled up!
Uncork the Laughs: Hilarious Wine Puns & Captions
- Wine a little, laugh a lot.
- Rosés are red, wine is also red, and you are also quite red after too much wine.
- I’m on cloud wine.
- Wine not? Life is grape!
- You had me at Merlot.
- Wine flies when you’re having fun.
- I’m aging like fine wine, getting better with time.
- Sip happens, but wine helps.
- Wine a bit, you’ll feel better.
- In wine, there is truth. In water, there are germs.
- Wine is my spirit animal.
- Life is too short to drink bad wine.
- Love the wine you’re with.
- Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
- Wine is like duct tape – it fixes everything.
- Wine is the answer. What was the question?
- Wine is bottled poetry.
- Wine a little, it will make you feel better.
- Hakuna Moscato – it means drink wine.
- Sorry for what I said when I was thirsty. #Wine

Sip Happens: Funny Wine Name Ideas
- Chardon-heyyyy
- Riesling to the Occasion
- Cabernet Sauvignon Blanc
- Merlot and Mindy
- Pino Noh-no
- Zinfully Delicious
- Sauvignon Blah
- Moscato Mojo
- Syrah-ously Good
- Pinkies Out Pinot
- Grape Expectations
- Sip Sip Hooray
- Cheers to Pour Decisions
- Sip It Real Good
- Wine not Whine
- Chill-able Red
- Sommelier Says What
- Notorious Z.I.N.
- Red, Red Wine-oceros
- Chateau Neuf du Pop
The Grape Debate: Wine-derful Question and Answer Puns
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why did the grape refuse to be crushed? Because it didn’t want to wine about it!
- Why was the grape feeling so unsteady? Because it had too much to wine!
- What do you call a wine that never shows up? A no-show blanc!
- Why did the grape go to the doctor? It was feeling a little wine-sy!
- What’s a grape’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good “bouquet”!
- How do you know if a grape is telling you a lie? It’s always “raisin” suspicions!
- Why couldn’t the grape sit still? It had ants in its “pance”!
- What do you call a grape who can’t stop running? A grape escape!
- Why did the grape go to school? To get a little “vin-ucation”!
- What do you call a grape that’s all alone? A “solo” grape!
- Why did the grape go to the party? It heard there would be a grape time!
- What do you call a group of grapes? A grape “bunch” of friends!
- Why did the grape break up with the raisin? It was tired of all the “baggage”!
Sipping on Some Grape Humor: Wine Double Entendres
- I’m not an alcoholic, I’m grape at drinking wine.
- I’m on cloud wine when I have a glass in hand.
- You can’t sip with us if you’re not a rieslingably good company.
- I’m a wine enthusiast, it’s my merlotvation in life.
- I’m not a wino, I’m just grape at enjoying life.
- I’m not drizzling, I’m pouring myself a glass of chardonnay.
- I’ll stop whining as soon as I finish this bottle of wine.
- My love for wine is unpourgettable.
- I’ll be there in a pinot, just need to finish this glass.
- I’m aging, just like a good bottle of cabernet sauvignon.
- I’ll only have one glass, said no one ever.
- I’m sauvignon blanc and ready to have a great time.
- Don’t worry, be chardonnay.
- I’m in a rieslingably good mood when I have a glass in hand.
- I’m not wine-ning, I’m just expressing my love for wine.
- I don’t need therapy, I just need a glass of pinot noir.
- In wine, there’s truth. In water, there’s bacteria.
- I’m not getting drunk, I’m just getting grape at enjoying life.
Wine-derful Dad Jokes: A Grape Collection of Wine Puns!
- Why did the grape break up with the raisin? It couldn’t handle the dried-out humor!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear… just like a wine gum!
- How do you make a wine disappear? Just delete the ‘w’!
- Why did the wine refuse to run for president? It didn’t want to be ‘cork’ed up in the White House!
- Did you hear about the grape who didn’t want to be crushed? It refused to ‘wine’ about it!
- Why don’t we ever play hide and seek with a bottle of wine? Because good wine is always found!
- What do you call a group of friends who love wine? The grape-ful bunch!
- Why was the wine glass feeling so down? It just couldn’t find the ‘spirits’ to lift itself up!
- How do you make a wine laugh? You just have to pour it a glass of ‘pun’-chline!
- What did the grape do to impress his crush? It just had to wine and dine her!
- Why did the grape bring a lawyer to the wine tasting? It was afraid of getting ‘sued’ for being too fruity!
- What do you call a bear who loves wine? A wino-saur!
- Why was the grape so good at telling stories? It had a knack for ‘raisin’ the stakes!
- What do you call a wine that’s not ready to settle down? A rolling-stone merlot!
- Why did the grape refuse to play sports? It was afraid of getting ‘squashed’!
- What do you call an angry grape? Sour grapes… just like a bad bottle of wine!
- Why was the wine bottle always in a hurry? It didn’t want to miss its ‘wine-dow’ of opportunity!
- What do you call a judge who loves wine? Justice Shiraz!
Pour Sip, It’s Time for Recursive Puns on Wine
- I’m on cloud wine when I drink my favorite vintage.
- I always choose to wine down with a glass of red.
- Some people say I’m wine-derful at picking the best bottles.
- I’ll always be grapeful for a good glass of wine.
- I don’t need a therapist, I just need a bottle of wine.
- Wine not have another glass? It’s merlot to love.
- I’m not a wino, I’m just really good at enjoying life.
- You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine and that’s kind of the same thing.
- I’m not drunk, I’m just in my grape happy place.
- I’ll always choose wine over whine, it’s just more satisfying.
- My doctor says I need glasses, so I got a few more wine glasses.
- When life gives you lemons, trade them for a bottle of wine.
- I’m sorry for what I said when I was without wine.
- Wine is like duct tape, it fixes everything.
- I always keep my friends close and my wine closer.
- I’m aging gracefully, just like a bottle of fine wine.
- I’m not lazy, I’m just on a temporary merlotcation.
- I’m not picky, I just have a refined taste for good wine.
Wine Not Enjoy Some Knock-knock Puns?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Shiraz. Shiraz who? Shiraz you can’t refuse!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Cabernet. Cabernet who? Cabernet go wrong with a glass of wine!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Merlot. Merlot who? Merlot’s of fun when we’re drinking wine!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Chardonnay. Chardonnay who? Chardonnay you glad I brought some wine?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Pinot. Pinot who? Pinot sure, but I think I need another glass!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Riesling. Riesling who? Riesling to drink more wine, of course!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Malbec. Malbec who? Malbec it a bottle of wine for game night!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Zinfandel. Zinfandel who? Zinfandel you believe we’re out of wine already?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Sauvignon. Sauvignon who? Sauvignon a glass for me, please!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Prosecco. Prosecco who? Prosecco the corkscrew, we’re opening another bottle!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Moscato. Moscato who? Moscato-ver there’s wine, there’s laughter!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Champagne. Champagne who? Champagne for the memories made with wine!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Zinfandel. Zinfandel who? Zinfandel-icious wine, cheers to that!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Cabernet Sauvignon. Cabernet Sauvignon who? Can’t you pour me another glass of Cabernet Sauvignon?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Malbec. Malbec who? Malbec it a double, I’m feeling extra thirsty!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Pinot Grigio. Pinot Grigio who? Pinot Grigio-ning outside, let’s stay in and drink wine!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Merlot. Merlot who? Merlot down and have a glass of wine with me!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Prosecco. Prosecco who? Prosecco-ver the wine opener, it’s time for a refill!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Sauvignon Blanc. Sauvignon Blanc who? Sauvignon Blanc-ank cocktail, let’s stick to wine!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Rosé. Rosé who? Rosé a glass to our friendship and to more wine nights!
Sip, Sip, Hooray!
In conclusion, I hope these puns have aged well with you, much like a fine wine. Whether you’re a grape enthusiast or just enjoy a good bottle of vino, I hope these puns have brought some bubbly laughter into your day. And if you’re still thirsty for more, be sure to pour over our other pun posts for a full-bodied experience. Remember, it’s always wine o’clock somewhere! Cheers to the best of the best puns about wine!