Are you ready for a good laugh? Look no further, because we’ve got the best puns about family that are sure to make your kids giggle and your parents groan. When it comes to humor, nothing beats good old family jokes. So without further ado, here’s a list of clever and positive puns that will have the whole family laughing. Get ready for some hilarious family fun with these puns – they’re guaranteed to be a hit at your next family gathering!
Bringing the Funny to ‘Family’ Gatherings: Our Editor’s Top Puns & Jokes Picks
- Why did the family of strawberries go on strike? They were tired of being squished into jam.
- What did the momma bird say when her baby flew the nest? Don’t worry, I’ll still watch out for you!
- How does a family of pencils stay connected? They always have a point to make.
- Did you hear about the family of thieves who broke into a bakery? They were hoping for their own piece of the pie.
- Why did the family of bears go to therapy? They needed help with their porridge issues.
- What did the dad potato chip say to the rest of the family? “Let’s stick together and we’ll never be down in the dumps.”
- Why did the family of ghosts go on vacation? They needed a little time away from the daily boo-ring routine.
- How does a family of snakes stay warm in the winter? They wear slippery-as-a-second-skin sweaters.
- What did the family of chickens say when they saw a fox in their coop? “We’re not going to take this poultry treatment any longer!”
- Why did the young tadpole feel out of place in his family? He was still trying to find his legs.
- What did the mom sea shell say when she couldn’t find her kids? “I have a feeling they’re all shells-shocked.”
- Why did the family of balloons get into a fight? They were all full of hot air.
- How does a family of horses stay fit? They hoof it around the pasture.
- What did the dad broom say to his son when he graduated from cleaning school? “You’ve swept us all off our feet.”
- Why did the family of ants go on strike? They were tired of being the underdogs.
- How does a family of dinosaurs celebrate birthdays? With pre-historic cakes, of course!
- What did the momma spider say when her baby got scared? “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back. And your front. And all your other sides.”
- Why did the family of trees throw a party? To branch out and meet some new friends.
- How does a family of fish communicate? They drop each other a line on the ocean floor.
- What did the dad tomato say to his kids when he was running late? “Ketchup with you later!”
Laugh Out Loud with These Hilarious ‘Funny Family’ One-Liner Jokes
- I bet it’s hard for a family therapist to have a dysfunctional family – it’s like being a mechanic with a broken car.
- I heard there was a family of acrobats who had a tough time making ends meet – their budget was always too tight for a high wire act.
- My family loves a good game of hide-and-seek, but I think we took it to the next level when we started playing it with our therapist.
- They say you can’t choose your family, but I did – I chose to adopt my dog instead.
- I was excited to join the family business, until I realized it was a circus.
- My parents always told me to marry someone with a good sense of humor, but little did they know I would end up marrying a stand-up comedian.
- They say laughter is the best medicine, which explains why my family has never needed a doctor.
- My family’s motto: “We put the fun back in dysfunctional.”
- I come from a long line of procrastinators – we even have a family motto, but we keep putting off coming up with one.
- My family reunions are like comedy shows, except everyone is unintentionally funny.
- They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but in my family, it rolls straight down a hill.
- I once tried to join a competitive eating competition with my family, but it ended up being just a regular dinner.
- My family tree is a little complicated – it looks more like a vine with all the marriages and divorces.
- One time, my family went on a cruise and we all got food poisoning. It was a real case of “family-style” dining.
- My brother has always been the black sheep of the family, but at least he’s the funniest one.
- I learned how to do a perfect chicken impression from my dad – it’s all in the wings.
- My family has our own version of “Truth or Dare” – it’s called “Do What Mom Says or Face Her Wrath.”
- Family dinners are always an adventure in my household – you never know when someone will say something completely inappropriate.
- I thought it would be fun to have a family game night, but my siblings take Monopoly way too seriously.
- I found out my family had a secret recipe for comedy when we all got on stage to perform a stand-up routine at a family talent show.
Get Ready to ROFL with These Hilarious QnA Jokes & Puns about Family!
- Q: Why did the tomato turn red? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato!
- Q: What did the grape say when it got stepped on? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- Q: Why did the math book look sad? A: Because it had too many problems.
- Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An impasta.
- Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? A: They don’t have the guts.
- Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? A: Frostbite.
- Q: Why don’t oysters give to charity? A: Because they’re shellfish.
- Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall? A: Dam!
- Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland? A: I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
- Q: Why did the chicken go to the séance? A: To get to the other side.
- Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet? A: You look flushed.
- Q: What do you call an old snowman? A: Water.
- Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investi-gator.
- Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A: A gummy bear.
- Q: What do you call a belt made out of watches? A: A waist of time.
- Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor? A: Because it had a virus.
- Q: What did the grapefruit say to the lemon? A: You’re peelings are showing.
- Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest playing the piano? A: An investi-gator with a piano forte.
Dad Jokes about ‘Family’: Making Memories and Laughing Till It Hurts
- ) What did the dad say to his family before they went on vacation? “Let’s make some memories, but don’t forget the camera!”
- ) Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing on its family.
- ) How do you organize a space party for your family? You planet.
- ) What did the dad say when his family complained about his bad jokes? “I’m just trying to keep you laughing at the dinner table!”
- ) What do you call a snowman’s family tree? A snowball of relatives.
- ) Why did the dad burp at the family dinner? He didn’t want to hog all the air.
- ) What did the dad say when he saw his family’s messy room? “Are you guys trying to set a world record for most clothes on the floor?”
- ) Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired from carrying its family.
- ) What did the dad say to his family when they asked him to make dinner? “I’ll make you a deal, you make dinner and I’ll eat it.”
- ) How do you know if your family is really into baking? They’re always raisin’ the bar.
- ) What do you call an alligator in a vest? An inVESTigator, just like Dad always said.
- ) Why did the dad make his family watch a nature documentary? He wanted to introduce them to the wildebeest humor.
- ) What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain of fur-mily members.
- ) How can you tell when a family of elephants is angry? Their tempers are elephano bones about it.
- ) What did the dad say when his family asked why he was wearing sunglasses at night? “I didn’t want to look too bright in front of you guys.”
- ) Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts to do it in front of their family.
- ) What do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce? A poultry in motion, just like our family vacations.
- ) How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together with its family.
- ) Why was the calendar afraid to go to the family reunion? Because it heard there would be a lot of dates.
- ) What’s the best thing about having a big family? You’ll always have someone to blame the smell on.
Funny and Fabulous: Family Puns & Jokes for Kids to Crack Up the Whole Clan!
- Why did the cookie go to therapy? Because it was feeling crumbly!
- What do you call a sleepy vegetable? A drowsy-dew!
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- What do you call a cow that’s just given birth? De-calf-inated!
- What do you call an alligator that’s good at solving mysteries? An investi-gator!
- Why is it hard for vampires to make new friends? Because they’re always a bit fang-cy!
- What do you call a sad strawberry? A blue-berry!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “SUPPLIES!!”
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
- How do you communicate with a fish? You drop it a line!
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain!
- Why was the bee mad? Because he got stuck at the honeycomb!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Because it wanted to get to the bottom!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
- Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
- How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints!
Bringing the Belly Laughs: Hilarious and Heartwarming Funny Quotes about Family
- “Family is where the chaos is centered and the love never ends.”
- “In a family, you don’t always have to like each other, but you have to love each other. Or at least pretend to.”
- “When life gets tough, remember: your family is there to make it even more difficult.”
- “A family that laughs together stays together…unless they’re laughing at each other, then all bets are off.”
- “Being part of a family means always having someone to blame.”
- “They say blood is thicker than water, but have you ever tried cleaning up a spilled juice box with both?”
- “Family reunions: where you can catch up with relatives you didn’t know you had and eat food that probably has some sort of mayonnaise in it.”
- “Being the black sheep of the family just means you’re the most interesting one.”
- “I can deny it all I want, but deep down I know I inherited my dramatic tendencies from my parents.”
- “In every family, there’s the crazy one…and if you can’t think of who it is, it’s probably you.”
- “Family vacations are just an excuse to pack our issues in a suitcase and take them on the road.”
- “I love my family, but sometimes I wonder if they have a group chat just to roast me.”
- “The reason we need family is so we have someone to blame our weirdness on.”
- “Siblings: because who else will you have inside jokes with that make no sense to anyone else?”
- “Forget the Brady Bunch, my family could give the Addams a run for their money.”
- “Family dinners are like a live-action version of ‘Survivor’ where the reward is leftovers and the punishment is doing the dishes.”
- “It’s amazing how fast kids can clean a room when you tell them company is coming over.”
- “Being a parent means always being on call, even when your kids are older and know how to Google.”
- “Family is not just an important thing, it’s everything…unless they eat the last slice of pizza, then all bets are off.”
- “In every family, there comes a time when someone accidentally sends the group text to the wrong group…and chaos ensues.”
Laughter is the glue that holds a ‘family’ together – Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about ‘Family’
- – ‘Family is like soup: the ingredients may change, but the love remains the same.’ – ‘A family that prays together stays together, but a family that laughs together never stops.’ – ‘The only time a family should be divided is when choosing toppings for pizza.’ – ‘A family is like a jigsaw puzzle: each piece unique, but together they create something beautiful.’ – ‘A messy family is a happy family.’ – ‘A family is like a garden, where laughter and love grow wild.’ – ‘In a family, the love is stronger than the holiday food coma.’ – ‘A family is like a pack of skittles: different colors, but all taste delicious together.’ – ‘The best things in life are not things, they are the people we call family.’ – ‘A family is like a song, some high notes, some low notes, but always a beautiful melody.’ – ‘A family that plays together stays together, but a family that pranks together never stops.’ – ‘A family is like a book: some chapters happy, some chapters sad, but always a good read.’ – ‘Happiness is having a large, loving, and sometimes dysfunctional family.’ – ‘Family is where life begins and love never ends.’ – ‘A family is like a pack of crayons: different colors, but all make a beautiful picture together.’ – ‘Laughter is the glue that holds a family together.’ – ‘A family is like a batch of cookies: each one unique, but all share the same sweetness.’ – ‘The best memories are made with family.’ – ‘A family is like a team, always there to catch you when you fall.’ – ‘Sometimes the best medicine for a bad day is a hug from your family.’ – ‘A family is like a quilt, stitched together with love.’
Family Fun: Double the Entendres, Twice the Puns
- “My family tree must be made of trees because we’re all a little bit nuts.”
- “I guess my cousin is the black sheep of the family. We never see him at family gatherings, he must be busy being sheared.”
- “They say blood is thicker than water, but my family is more like a pot of soup – lots of different ingredients that somehow all come together.”
- “We all have that one weird aunt or uncle, but my family seems to have a whole orchard of them.”
- “If our family was a reality TV show, it would be called ‘Keeping Up with the Kooky Kardashians’.”
- “I think my siblings and I must have been switched at birth because I’m pretty sure I’m the only normal one in the bunch.”
- “My dad always said our family is like a circus – lots of chaos, but plenty of laughs and love.”
- “They say you can’t choose your family, but I’m pretty sure my parents chose to have me, so that counts for something.”
- “My mom always said our family is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re gonna get.”
- “I come from a long line of procrastinators. We were gonna have a family reunion, but we keep putting it off.”
- “If my siblings and I were a band, we’d be called ‘The Sibling Rivalry’.”
- “I never understood why people say they need therapy because of their families, until I spent a week with mine.”
- “My family is like the Brady Bunch, except instead of a dog we have a llama.”
- “They say opposites attract, which must explain why my parents are polar opposites and somehow still manage to stay together.”
- “Our family reunions are like a game of Clue – we may not kill each other, but we sure come close.”
- “I always thought the phrase ‘like father, like son’ was just a saying, until I started picking up all my dad’s dad jokes.”
- “I never realized how important a good last name was until I found out my aunt’s name is Fairy and my uncle’s name is Beard.”
- “I thought our family was pretty normal until I realized most people don’t have daily debates about the proper way to eat a taco.”
- “I wish I had a dollar for every time my grandpa said he used to walk uphill both ways in the snow. I’d be rich enough to buy a snowmobile.”
- “Growing up, we never had a boring family dinner. My parents would always spice things up with a good argument or heated debate.”
Family: The Branches of Our Hilarious Recursive Puns Tree
- Why was the family tree always confused? Because it kept branching out into new relatives!
- Did you hear about the family of cannibals? They always took a bite out of crime.
- Why couldn’t the math-loving family have a traditional dinner? Because they only knew how to solve for Pi.
- Did you know the cookie family had a black sheep? Chocolate chip, to be exact.
- What did the scarecrow family teach their children? The importance of being outstanding in their field.
- What did the musical family name their newborn baby? Harmony.
- How does a vampire family decide what to eat for dinner? They take a bite out of every option.
- What do you call a family of bakers? Loafing around.
- Did you hear about the family that raised chickens? They were always egg-specting chaos.
- What do you call a family that loves to dance? The Groove Fam.
- How does a family of flowers communicate? They use petal-talk.
- What did the superhero family name their pet? Bark Kent.
- Did you hear about the family of miners? They were digging their own business.
- What do you call a family of aliens? The Extraterrestrials.
- How does a family of trees settle an argument? By leafing it alone.
- What do you call a family of ghosts? The Boo Crew.
- How does a pirate family choose a leader? They have a ye-vote.
- What did the artist family name their cat? Purr-icasso.
- Did you know the ninja family has a secret handshake? It’s pretty stealthy.
- Why did the mechanic family never go on vacation? Because they were always revving to go!
Family Fun: Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes to Keep Everyone Laughing!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fern. Fern who? Fern you going to introduce me to your family?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive my family, they’re always making me laugh!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rita. Rita who? Rita funny, my whole family has a great sense of humor.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nana. Nana who? Nana your business what my crazy family does.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hector. Hector who? Hector stories do you want to hear about my wacky family?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nina. Nina who? Nina what? My family is full of unique characters.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Amos. Amos who? Amos happy to have such a fun-loving family.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hope. Hope who? Hope you’re ready for some hilarious jokes from my family.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Derek. Derek who? Derek what? My family is always cracking me up.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sally. Sally who? Sally good to have a big, goofy family like mine.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Buddy. Buddy who? Buddy up, my family has some seriously funny people.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mariah. Mariah who? Mariah you going to join my family’s comedy routine?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gus. Gus who? Gus a great sense of humor runs in my family.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Teri. Teri who? Teri-tastic family I have, they always make me laugh.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Will. Will who? Will you believe how funny my family is?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Madison. Madison who? Madison we appear to be the funniest family in the neighborhood.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Victor. Victor who? Victor-y dances whenever my family tells jokes.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Zoe. Zoe who? Zoe many funny stories to tell about my family, it’s hard to choose just one.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gabe. Gabe who? Gabe my family, they know how to make any situation funny.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Terry. Terry who? Terry-ing to keep up with my hilarious family is a full-time job!
Relish the Laughter: Family Puns Unleashed!
Well folks, that wraps up our pun-tastic journey through 180+ hilarious puns about family. We hope these jokes have brought you joy and laughter, because as they say, laughter is the best medicine…unless you have a broken rib, then maybe just stick to ibuprofen. But before you go, remember to check out our other pun and joke posts, because puns are like potato chips, you can never have just one! So go on, get your pun fix and share the laughter with your loved ones. Until next time, keep on punning!