Hey there, fellow joke enthusiasts! Are you ready to have some ear-resistibly good laughs? Well, you’re in luck because we’ve compiled a list of the best ear puns and jokes that’ll have you ear-deep in humor. These clever and positive puns about ears are sure to leave you smiling from lobe to lobe. Whether you’re looking for jokes to crack up your kids or just need a good chuckle, we’ve got you covered. So without further ado, let’s get this eargasmic show on the road!
Fine-Tune Your Laughter with Our ‘Ear’-resistable Puns & Jokes – Top Picks!
- What did the ear say to the brain? “I’m all ears!”
- Did you hear about the reckless driver who almost hit an ear of corn? It was a close-corn-ter!
- How do you know when a plant is listening? It grows ears!
- Why did the ear go to medical school? It wanted to become an ear, nose, and throat doctor!
- Did you hear about the ear that was arrested? It was charged with a crime of eavesdropping!
- How do you keep an elephant from charging? Remove its trunks and replace them with ears!
- What did the right ear say to the left ear? “Between us, something smells fishy!”
- Why did the teacher wear earmuffs to class? She didn’t want her students to give her any ear-aches!
- What did the ear say when it fell off the head? “I’m feeling a little unbalanced!”
- Why did the geologist have big ears? Because he loved to hear rocks!
- What do you call a pirate with an ear infection? Captain Swollen Ear!
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it and put it in your ear!
- Why did the ear need a lawyer? Because it was being sued for hearing confidential information!
- What’s an ear’s favorite type of music? Anything ear-resistible!
- Why do elephants never forget? Because they have thick skin and big ears, they never miss a beat!
- What do you call an ear that can’t hear? Deaf-initely not working!
- Why did the proctologist have big ears? He always wanted to hear what was going on behind his patients’ backs!
- What did the corn say when it overheard a funny joke? “Ah, shucks!”
- How do you make an octopus laugh? Give it ten-tickles in its ears!
- What’s an ear’s favorite type of movie? A scary one – it loves to get ear-afied!
“Listen Up: Fill Your Day with ‘Ear’ One-Liner Jokes!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing in its ears.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- I used to play the triangle in a reggae band, but I kept getting lost in the rhythm.
- I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn’t raise the dough.
- Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw?
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
- Why wasn’t the bike able to stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- Why can’t bicycles stand up by themselves? Because they’re two-tired.
- I used to play the piano by ear, but I found out that’s now how you’re supposed to play it.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there.
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity, I just can’t seem to put it down.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
- Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
- Why did the chicken go to the seance? To get to the other side.
- Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? In case she had to draw blood.
- What did one ear say to the other? We must stop meeting like this.
Listen Up! Hilarious Ear-centric Proverbs and Wise Sayings
- “A man who doesn’t listen to his wife will soon be wearing his ears as a necklace.”
- “When your ears start burning, it’s your subconscious telling you someone is talking about you. Or maybe you have a sunburn.”
- “Listening is like using your turn signals, it’s only useful if you use it before you make a wrong turn.”
- “A gossip’s ear is like a vacuum, it sucks in information but spews out shit.”
- “The only thing worse than a nagging voice in your head is a nagging voice in your actual ear.”
- The early bird catches the worm, but the early listener catches all the juicy gossip.
- “Ears are like a built-in lie detector, they can spot bullshit from a mile away.”
- “Just like a dog’s tail, the ears reveal the true intentions of a person.”
- “A closed ear doesn’t hear the truth, but it also doesn’t hear your in-laws’ holiday plans.”
- “If you want to keep your secrets safe, don’t tell them to someone with big ears.”
- “Wearing headphones is a socially acceptable way to avoid talking to people.”
- “A wise man listens with both ears, but a fool only with one.”
- “You can’t unhear the things you wish you didn’t hear. Unless you’re hard of hearing.”
- “Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but annoying voices are in the ear of the listener.”
- Ears are like parking spaces, only the good ones are taken and you end up with the worst one.
- “The best jokes are whispered in the ear, just ask the person sitting next to you at a boring party.”
- “Talk less, listen more – unless it’s your creepy neighbor sharing his conspiracy theories.”
- “A parent’s ears can hear a child’s whisper from across the room, but can also ignore a tantrum at the grocery store.”
- “Silence is golden, duct tape is silver, and earplugs are diamond when you have a loud roommate.”
- “If you listen to your gut, your ears won’t get you in trouble.”
Ears to some hilarious QnA jokes & puns!
- Why did the ear go to the doctor? Because it had an earache!
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in its ear.
- What did the grape say when the ear asked it a question? “I can’t hear you, I’m wine-deaf!”
- Why did the ear get in trouble at school? It was always getting ear-fulls!
- What do you call a deer with no ears? No idea!
- Why couldn’t the ear go to the party? It was already stuffed!
- How did the rabbit keep his ears clean? He used hare spray!
- Why did the ear stay home from work? It had a bad case of hearing loss.
- What did the corn say to the ear? “Don’t leaf me hanging, I’m all ears!”
- Why did the Irishman wear earmuffs? To keep his ears from freezing!
- What did the math book say to the ear? “I have a lot of problems, maybe you can help me solve them!”
- Why did the frog sit on his ear? To keep it from hopping away!
- What did the pencil say to the ear? “You’re looking sharp today!”
- Why did the ear visit the fortune teller? It wanted to know its fate-today!
- How does an ear travel? On an ear-plane!
- What did one ear say to the other? “I can hear myself think!”
- Why do elephants have big ears? Because Noddy wouldn’t pay the ransom.
- How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? There’s footprints by the butter and peanuts in your ears!
- What happened when the elephant sat on the car? It turned into a compact car with an elephant sized trunk.
- Why did the dingo put a tambourine on his head? So he could play it by ear!
Tickle Your Funny ‘Ear’s’ with These Dad Jokes & Puns!
- Why did the ear go to jail? Because it couldn’t stop eavesdropping!
- What do you call an ear that’s good at math? A math-ear-tician!
- Why did the corn refuse to grow near the ear? Because they had a kernel-y relationship!
- Why are ears afraid of heights? They’re always afraid of getting ear-ilifted!
- How does an ear stay cool in the summer? It listens to some cool tunes!
- What did the right ear say to the left ear? Don’t you think we should just listen to each other for once?
- What do you call an ear without its top part? Dishear-tened!
- Why did the ear go on vacation? To get some ear-ification!
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up with a bowl of cereal and an ear missing!
- Why did the ear get mad at the mouth? Because it never let it get a word in!
- Why was the ear feeling lonely? Because nobody ever gave it a hug or an ear-fectly good compliment!
- Did you hear about the species of fish with only two ears? They were crowd-eared!
- What’s an ear’s favorite instrument? A cornet, of course!
- I have to say, my ears have been through a lot in their lifetime. They’re always hearing people’s problems!
- Why was the ear mistaken for a raisin at the breakfast table? Because it was experiencing some inner-raisin!
- Why did the ear go to therapy? To work on its inner ear-sonality!
- What do you call an elephant that’s good at listening? An ear-phant!
- Why did the ear go to school late? Because it overslept its hearing aid alarm!
- Did you hear about the ear that went to a party? It was the life of the ear-ty!
- What’s an ear’s favorite food? Any type of corny joke!
Listen up for Some ‘Ear’-rific Double Entendres and Puns!
- “I can’t hear you, I have an ear infection.”
- “That idea went in one ear and out the other.”
- “I need to speak louder, I’m all ears.”
- “I’ve been ear-responsible with my money lately.”
- “I have a bad ear for music, but a great nose for puns.”
- “I can’t hear you, let me put my earbuds in.”
- “I have to eavesdrop with my big ears.”
- “I can’t wait to ear-continue this conversation later.”
- “I can’t hear myself think with all these earplugs.”
- “I’m sorry, I’m a little hard of hearing…but soft on humor.”
- “I need to clean out the wax in my ears…then maybe I’ll hear you.”
- “I just bought some new earrings, they’re a real ear-catcher.”
- “I got into a heated argument with my husband, he’s a hot-ear.”
- “I can’t hear you, I have ear pods in.”
- “Sorry, I have selective hearing…and I select to hear funny puns.”
- “I’m all ears and no mouth.”
- “I told my wife she needs a pair of nice pearl earrings…but she just turned a deaf ear.”
- “I heard a great joke about ears…it was music to my lobes.”
- “I’ll be right back, I have to make a quick ear-nouncement.”
- Every time I hear someone say they have a third ear, I turn in disbelief.
Ear-elevant and Ear-resistible: Recursive Puns about Ears
- What do you call a group of ears listening to a joke? A hearing loop!
- My ear always knows when the punchline is coming, it has a great sense of humor.
- You could say my ear is a real jokester, it loves to hear puns and play tricks on me.
- Every time I make a pun about my ear, it goes in one and out the other.
- I asked my ear if it wanted to hear a joke, but it said it’s heard all of them.
- How does an ear know if a joke is good? It’ll give you an earful of laughter.
- I can’t believe I just used a pun about my ear, I must be getting lobe-stered.
- Why did the ear go to therapy? It couldn’t handle all the inner jokes.
- I tried to make a pun about my ear, but it didn’t sound right.
- How does a hearing aid communicate with an ear? Through puns and funny jokes, of course!
- You could say my ear is a real comedian, it loves to listen to jokes and make people laugh.
- People say I have an ear for words, but I prefer to listen to puns.
- The other day, my ear told me a joke. I guess it’s finally paying attention to me.
- I can always count on my ear to hear me out, even when I’m telling bad jokes.
- My ear may be small, but it’s got a great sense of humor.
- You know what they say, big ears mean big laughs!
- My ear is like a sponge for puns, it never gets tired of hearing them.
- I think my ear is starting to develop a pun addiction, it can’t stop listening for more.
- Some people have a third eye, but I have a third ear that’s always listening for jokes.
- My ear loves a good laugh, but it’s not afraid to tell me when I’ve gone too far with the puns.
Ears to Some Clever Juxtaposition Jokes!
- Why did the ear go to therapy? It was feeling eargue-tional.
- I tried to open a can of peas with my ear, but all I got was an earful of disappointment.
- What did the phone say to the ear? Hey, can you hear me now?
- How do you organize an ear party? You just have to use your lobe-ley skills.
- Why did the ear want to join the circus? It had a strong acrobatic ear-robic ability.
- What do you call an elephant hiding behind your ear? Absurd, because they’re too big to hide there!
- How does an ear cross the street? It uses its cross-hearwalk.
- Why did the ear go to medical school? It wanted to become an ear specialist.
- What kind of music do ears listen to? Anything that tickles their earlobes.
- Why did the ear go on a diet? It wanted to reduce its cordi-ear metabolism.
- What do you get when you cross an ear and a potato? A common tater.
- How do you turn an ear into a speaker? You just have to wiggle its ear drum.
- What did one ear say to the other? Nothing, they just exchanged winks.
- Why are ears like detectives? Because they’re always listening for clues.
- What’s the best way to clean your ears? With a cotton swab-licator.
- How do you break up with an ear? You just have to yell, “I never want to hear from you again!”
- Why did the ear go to the doctor? It was under-ear-whelmed.
- Who is an ear’s favorite singer? Justin Bieber-hear-n.
- What do you call an ear that’s taking a test? An eargitation.
- Why did the ear go to outer space? It wanted to explore the ear-th’s atmosphere.
Ear” Rest to Avoid Common “Faux Pas” with Ear Malapropisms
- “I couldn’t eat for days because I had a terrible ear infection.”
- “I always love to listen to some good musical rears.”
- “I have an extra pair of eyeglasses for my eyers.”
- “I think I might be going deaf in my blonde ears.”
- “Can you pass me the earplanes? I mean, airplanes.”
- “She’s always in one ear and out the other.”
- “I can’t hear you, I have a pizza in my ears.”
- “He’s just blowing smoke out of his ears.”
- “I need to get my ears cleaned, I can barely hear my hair.”
- “I told her it was a piece of cake, but it went in one ear and out the other.
- “Is anyone listening? My ears feel like they’re wearing earxings.”
- “My grandma is always nagging me, she’s a real chirp in my ear.”
- “I love to hear the sound of a French roast in the morning.”
- “I can’t wait to take my chews out of these high heels.”
- “My aunt has a knack for mispronouncing words, she once called it a ‘haunted house’ instead of a concert hall.”
- I couldn’t believe my ears when she said she wanted to hike up the sugar luff.
- “I can’t eat peanuts, I’m allergic to nutty parades.”
- “I can’t go to that beach, the sand always gets into my bunnies and it’s so itchy.”
- “She can be such a pain in the rear, I mean, ear.”
- “I once saw a bear riding a unicycle, it was a real circus of the ears.”
Sharp-Eared Tom Swifties: Puns that Hit the Mark
- “I can’t hear you,” Tom said deafly.
- “Why can’t I find my headphones?” Tom said in an ear-y tone.
- “I bet he’s singing off key,” Tom said discordantly.
- “These earplugs are a sound investment,” Tom said inaudibly.
- “I think I left my hearing aid at home,” Tom said absentmindedly.
- “It’s rude to eavesdrop,” Tom said secretly.
- “I can’t believe how loud that concert was,” Tom said concertedly.
- “That’s music to my ears,” Tom said melodiously.
- “I’m tone deaf,” Tom said flatly.
- “Let’s turn up the volume,” Tom said deafeningly.
- “I need to clean out my ears,” Tom said noisily.
- “I can’t hear the difference between these two songs,” Tom said indistinguishably.
- “I’m having trouble hearing you over the phone,” Tom said phoenetically.
- “I can’t find my headphones,” Tom said dismally.
- “I can’t hear the ocean in this seashell,” Tom said shell-shocked.
- “I’m not deaf, I’m just selectively listening,” Tom said choosily.
- “Why does this song give me goosebumps?” Tom said ears-pily.
- “I love how this song gets stuck in my head,” Tom said head-ily.
- “I can’t believe we’re still listening to this song on repeat,” Tom said repeatedly.
- “I think I have a case of earworms,” Tom said wiggly.
Ear-we go again: Cheeky spoonerisms about ‘Ear’
- “Fearful deer” instead of “dareful fear”
- “Tear bear” instead of “bear tear”
- “Dear smear” instead of “smear dear”
- Lear beer” instead of “beer leer
- “Clear cheer” instead of “cheer clear”
- “Hear near” instead of “near here”
- “Sneer fear” instead of “fear sneer”
- “Peer hear” instead of “hear peer”
- “Deer steer” instead of “steer deer”
- “Shear pear” instead of “pear shear”
- “Cheer spear” instead of “spear cheer”
- “Ear pear” instead of “pear ear”
- “Near sear” instead of “sear near”
- “Fuzzy ear” instead of “ear fuzzy”
- “Gear ear” instead of “ear gear”
- “Deer sheer” instead of “sheer deer”
- “Queer ear” instead of “ear queer”
- “Beer ear” instead of “ear beer”
- “Weird ear” instead of “ear weird”
- “Blear fear” instead of “fear blear”.
Ear-y Laughs: Knock-knock Jokes about ‘Ear’
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ear. Ear who? Ear you ready for a good laugh?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horace. Horace who? Horace best friend who has a great sense of humor!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ava. Ava who? Ava little joke for you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Arch. Arch who? Bless you, I think your ear just sneezed!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you to hear another knock-knock joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Barry. Barry who? Barry glad to be telling you this joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Birch. Birch who? Birch please, can I tell you one more joke?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and open the door, I have more jokes for you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chip. Chip who? Chip a tooth laughing at these ear-ily funny jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dick. Dick who? Dick-tionary, you need one to understand all these ear jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Floyd. Floyd who? Floyd someone who loves telling knock-knock jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Izzy. Izzy who? Izzy funnier if you laugh at my jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walt. Walt who? Walt till you hear this joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kent. Kent who? Kent you tell I have an awesome sense of humor?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Laura. Laura who? Laura-dy, I have so many more knock-knock jokes about ears!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Murray. Murray who? Murray Christmas, let’s celebrate with some more funny jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rodger. Rodger who? Rodger that, I have more jokes to tell you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shelly. Shelly who? Shelly-mell-o, I’m ready to make you laugh!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ted. Ted who? Ted-ious, these jokes just keep getting better and better!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wyatt. Wyatt who? Wyatt-ever it takes to make you laugh at these ear jokes!
Signing off with a pun-tastic earful!
Well folks, I hope these 220+ jokes about ears have left you in stitches and not just feeling a little lobe-sick. Remember, laughter is always the best medicine, but it might not do much for those pesky ear infections. Don’t forget to check out our other pun-tastic and joke-tastic posts on everything from noses to knees. Because as they say, a good pun a day keeps the grumps at bay. Happy reading!