Hey there, fellow laughter-lovers! Are you ready to have your piggy banks burst with joy? Because we’ve got the best money-themed puns that will have you rolling on the floor laughing. From clever coin jokes to priceless puns, this list of funny money jokes is sure to make your little ones go nuts. Get ready to cash in on some humor and join us on this fun-filled adventure through the world of currency comedy. So prepare your funny bones and get ready to deposit some serious laughs with these delightful puns about money. Let’s make it rain with humor, shall we?
Laugh all the way to the bank with these ‘money’ puns and jokes – our top picks!
- Why was the budget so low for the movie about coins? They didn’t have a lot of cents.
- What did the banker say to the robber? Give me all your loot and I’ll make a deposit.
- What do you call a pile of cats on a dollar bill? A meow-nie.
- Why did the chicken become an accountant? He wanted to get a hen-dle on his finances.
- How do you make a small fortune? Start with a large one and invest in the stock market.
- What’s the difference between a well dressed person and a wealthy person? One is dressed to the nines, the other is dined to the tens.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle afford a new helmet? It was two-tired.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
- Why did the teddy bear refuse to pay his taxes? He was a little bit fuzzy on the concept.
- How do you know when a music performance is also a financial seminar? When the guitarist starts talking about his error-401(k)s.
- Why did the bank teller quit his job? He was tired of people always asking for their cash back.
- What did the dollar bill say to the $20 bill? Hey, you’re looking like a million bucks!
- How do you make a small fortune in the restaurant industry? Start with a large fortune and open a fancy restaurant.
- What’s the best way to double your money? Fold it in half.
- Why did the chicken go into the bank? To make a poultry deposit.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite form of currency? Booty-coin.
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
- What’s the most successful coin? The one that’s always making cents.
- Why did the dollar go to therapy? It had some serious change issues.
Saving up laughs with these ‘Funny Money’ puns and one-liners!
- “Why did the banker go to bed? Because he lost interest.”
- “I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I’ve finally overcome it.”
- “I asked a bank manager for a loan and he said, ‘Sure, if you can provide three references.’ So I gave him the phone numbers for my grandma, mom, and ex-girlfriend.”
- “My wife told me to stop spending money on useless things, but I couldn’t hear her over the sound of my new blender.”
- “Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.”
- “I always give 110% at work… 10% on Monday, 20% on Tuesday, and so on.”
- “To the person who stole my Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.”
- “Why did the quarter go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a bit rusty.”
- “I have a love-hate relationship with money. I love having it, but hate seeing it go.”
- “What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.”
- “I accidentally used my debit card instead of my credit card today… well, I guess I’m buying groceries for the next two weeks.”
- “I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as it was gathering dust… it was just taking up space.”
- “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
- “I used to be addicted to soap operas, but I’m clean now.”
- “Why did the apple go out with the prune? Because it couldn’t find a date.”
- “I always keep a picture of my wallet in my wallet just in case it gets lost.”
- “Why did the chicken go to the bank? To get a poultry loan.”
- “I’m trying to save money, but it’s so hard when everything is on sale!”
- “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.”
- “I have a lot of money in my wallet, but it’s all in the form of receipts from Target.”
Laugh Your Way to a Wealthy Wallet: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Money
- “A penny saved is a penny earned, but a dollar spent on chocolate is well worth the investment.”
- “Money may not buy happiness, but it can certainly buy a lot of ice cream and that’s pretty close.”
- “A fool and his money are soon parted, but a wise man knows how to stretch a dollar.”
- “Time is money, but so is Netflix and I’m not about to waste either.”
- “Money talks, but all mine ever says is ‘goodbye.'”
- “It’s easier to make money than it is to make jokes about money.”
- “A budget is just a mathematical confirmation of your financial failures.”
- “A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it starts to rain.”
- “Money can’t buy love, but it can afford a really nice apology after screwing up.”
- “The best things in life are free, unless you include tacos. Tacos are definitely worth the money.”
- “You can’t have your cake and eat it too, but you can have a credit card and spend it all.”
- “A fool and his money are soon elected. Just look at our politicians.”
- “I’m not cheap, I’m just on a tight budget.”
- “If we’re talking about splitting the bill, I’ll suddenly remember that I left my wallet at home.”
- “The only thing more expensive than a divorce lawyer is a husband who refuses to do the dishes.”
- “Money is like manure, it has to be spread around or it stinks.”
- “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it starts to rain.”
- “I’ve learned that a dollar has 100 cents, but spending it at the dollar store feels like a million bucks.”
- “I’m not saying money can’t buy happiness, I’m just saying it’s easier to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle.”
- “Need financial advice? Just ask a child for a loan, they have no concept of money.”
QnA-sical Laughter: Making ‘Money’ Moves with Jokes & Puns!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in-tents.
- How do comedians like to pay for things? In laughter bills.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armor? A knight light.
- Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A friend you can count on.
- Why was the bee kicked out of the hive? Because he was always giving the queen bee-y jokes.
Show me the funny: Dad Jokes & Puns about ‘Money’
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain of cash.
- Why did the banker quit his job? He lost interest.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- What did the hat say to the wallet? You go on ahead, I’ll cover you.
- I started a business building yachts in my attic. The sails are going through the roof.
- Why did the robber take a bath before stealing from the bank? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
- How do you make a small fortune? Start with a large one and marry my ex-wife.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- I used to play poker for a living. But then I realized I could never count on it for a steady income.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- What’s the best way to make a million dollars in the stock market? Start with two million.
- I got a job at the bank. I’m responsible for keeping tabs on everyone’s accounts.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest driving a car? An investi-gator behind the wheel.
- “I’m reading a book on the history of glue.” I just can’t seem to put it down.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the bank? They woke up with interest.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- Why did the hipster refuse to invest in cryptocurrency? He didn’t want to be too mainstream.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
Money Talks, But Double Entendres Make It Sing: Puns That Pay Off
- “I need some cash to pay for my addiction…to spending money.”
- “Why did the dollar go to therapy? It had some serious bills to work through.”
- “I’m not broke, I’m just financially challenged.”
- “I’m not cheap, I’m just on a budget.”
- “Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.”
- “What do you call a fake penny? A sham-cents.”
- “My accountant told me to always keep a balanced checkbook, so I bought a scale.”
- “I asked my bank for a loan, but they said I didn’t have enough character references.”
- “I don’t have a gambling problem, I have a winning opportunity.”
- “Why did the banker go to jail? He was guilty of embezzlement of funny money.”
- “Why was the wallet always in trouble? Because it was always involved in some shady business.”
- “What do you call a rich elf? Well-off the shelf.”
- “I don’t always spend money, but when I do, I prefer to penny-pinch.”
- “Why did the investor go to the bank? To cash in on some interest-ing opportunities.”
- “I tried to save money by eating homemade meals, but it just turned into a souper ordeal.”
- “Why couldn’t the pirate afford a ship? He was always on the lookout for booty.”
- “I’m not saying money can buy happiness, but it can definitely buy me a vacation.”
- “I’m not rich, I just have expensive taste.”
- “My bank account is like my waistline, always expanding.”
- “Why did the penny go for a swim? It wanted to make some cents.”
Infinite Jest: Recursive Puns About Money Laundering
- Why did the dollar go to therapy? Because it had multiple cents issues.
- I was going to buy a dictionary with my savings, but then I realized I couldn’t spell the word ‘savings’ without it.
- Why did the pig give money to his son? Because he wanted him to be a boar-illionaire.
- What did the penny say to the nickel when they passed each other? ‘You’re two-faced’.
- Why was the coin always stressed out? It had a lot of change to deal with.
- How do you make a small fortune in the stock market? Start with a large one.
- I asked my bank for a loan to buy an encyclopedia, but they said they couldn’t lend me that much cash. They said it’s the sentence they could offer.
- Why did the quarter shy away from the other coins? It’s afraid of change.
- What did the penny say when it got tossed in the air? ‘Heads down’.
- Why couldn’t the two coins get married? They both wanted different bank accounts.
- How do you make sure you always have money? Marry your rich uncle.
- What do you call a group of money-loving rabbits? Coney-vestors.
- Why did the credit card go to jail? It got charged with identity theft.
- Why did the millionaire open a bakery? He kneaded a new dough-rection.
- What do you call a fish that’s good with budgeting? A financial pufferfish.
- Why did the casino owner rob the bank? He wanted to take back some of the money he lost.
- Why did the mathematician work as a cashier? He was good with calculations.
- Why couldn’t the dollar understand the joke? It already had enough bad cents of humor.
- What did the stock market say to the investor? ‘You buy it, you break it’.
- Why couldn’t the quarter enjoy its weekend? It was too busy working for the rest of the week-days.
Making ‘Cents’ of Money Malapropisms: A Comical Currency Conundrum
- Bank note – a musical message from a financial institution
- Cash cow – a bovine that produces currency
- Credit card shark – a predatory fish that only accepts plastic
- Dollar filter – a device that screens out all other currencies
- Fine tooth comb – a tool used to meticulously count pennies
- Gold finger – a person with a Midas touch for acquiring wealth
- In the red – describing an embarrassment rather than a deficit
- Loose change – a group of easygoing coins
- Money laundry – a cleaning service exclusively for cash
- Nickel and dining – consuming small portions of money
- Petty cachet – a very small but esteemed amount of cash
- Roll in the d’oh – experiencing a windfall of comically large proportions
- Shekel shocker – a startlingly expensive item
- Tender vittles – luxurious delicacies bought with money
- Wadrobe malfunction – accidentally dropping a large stack of bills
- Yen for success – an insatiable appetite for monetary achievement
- Bank break – a breather taken from constant banking activities
- Cash crop – a plant that grows dollar bills
- Dimepiece – a stunningly beautiful, but budget-friendly person
- Empty pocket syndrome – feeling financially drained after shopping sprees.
Cha-Ching! These ‘Money’ Tom Swifties Are a Wealth of Laughter!
- “I can’t afford to buy a new yacht,” said Tom swifty.
- “I’m broke,” said Tom with no change in his pockets.
- “I’m a self-made millionaire,” said Tom with a wad of Monopoly money in his hand.
- “I’m going to make it rich,” said Tom as he scratched off yet another lottery ticket.
- “I’ll never be able to retire,” said Tom with a sigh… Lott.
- “I invested all my savings in stocks,” said Tom with a worried Dow.
- “I’m going to save up for a trip to Paris,” said Tom with a wistful Euro.
- “I’m paying off my student loans,” said Tom with a groan, getting an MBA.
- “Money can’t buy happiness,” said Tom, but he still went on a shopping spree.
- “I need to budget my expenses,” said Tom with a serious Yen.
- “I’m going to start my own business,” said Tom with a determined Dollar.
- “I’m going to give all my wealth to charity,” said Tom with a generous Pound.
- “My paycheck just barely covers my bills,” said Tom with a disheartened Check.
- “I’ll just put it on my credit card,” said Tom with a swipe.
- “I’m living paycheck to paycheck,” said Tom, basically an ATM.
- “I’m counting every penny,” said Tom with a nickel between his fingers.
- “I’ll be rolling in the dough soon,” said Tom with flour on his hands.
- “Investing in cryptocurrency was a smart move,” said Tom with a digital coin in his wallet.
- “My wife handles all the finances,” said Tom, just the Balance.
- “I discovered the secret to financial success,” said Tom, with a wink, diving into his Scrooge McDuck-style money bin.
More Fun with Funds: Hilarious Spoonerisms About Money
- “Foney Moolah”
- “Cash Bunny”
- “Chingling Change”
- “Buckster Bling”
- “Dollhouse Mansion”
- “Spare Meager”
- “Bill Lobster”
- “Gold Digger Dog”
- “Coin Nanny”
- “Pay Trickster”
- “Fancy Boodle”
- “Greedy Weanie”
- “Loot Monkey”
- “Bank Wench”
- “Dime Mime”
- “Quartermaster Master”
- “Currency Nursery”
- “Broke Joker”
- “Penny Spender”
- “Treasure Pleasure”
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? Cash me outside with these hilarious money knock-knock jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Coin. Coin who? Coin a phrase, save some cash!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? Cash me if you can!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bank. Bank who? Bank on me to give you a loan!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Savings. Savings who? Savings up for a rainy day!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dollar. Dollar who? Dollar, dollar bills y’all.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Budget. Budget who? Budget me a smile, please.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Credit. Credit who? Credit to you for being frugal!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Change. Change who? Change is good, especially in your pocket.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Investment. Investment who? Investment in your future pays off.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Debt. Debt who? Debt be gone, I’m broke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? ATM. ATM who? ATM in your neighborhood, let’s go!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Paycheck. Paycheck who? Paycheck me and we’ll be rich!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tax. Tax who? Tax season is coming, brace yourself.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Inheritance. Inheritance who? Inheritance a fortune, lucky me!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lottery. Lottery who? Lottery me win please!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Moneybags. Moneybags who? Moneybags me some snacks, please.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interest. Interest who? Interest in your bank account grows!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Online shopping. Online shopping who? Online shopping for me, please!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Million. Million who? Millions and millions, wouldn’t that be nice?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frugal. Frugal who? Frugal is the new rich!
Cash out with these hilarious money moments!
Well, that wraps up our collection of 200+ jokes about money. We hope these brought a smile to your face and maybe even made your wallet a little lighter from laughing. But before you go, don’t forget to check out our other out-of-the-box puns and jokes posts. Trust us, they’re worth every penny. Happy laughing!
