Quip and Chuckle: 220+ Hilarious Olive Puns/Jokes

Have you ever met an olive with a great sense of humor? Well, you’re about to discover a list of clever and hilarious olive puns that will have you laughing until you’re in a pickle. These jokes are perfect for kids or anyone who loves a good dose of humor. From the best olive-related puns to the most positive and clever jokes, this post has it all. So get ready to dive into the world of olive puns and experience a whole new level of hilarity. Get your olive on and enjoy this list of puns about… well, olives.

Briny Banter: Our Top Picks for Olive Puns & Jokes

1. What did the olive say when it couldn’t find its lover? “I can’t believe I’ve been de-pitted!”
2. Why did the olive go to the therapist? It was feeling “pressured” to be perfect.
3. How did the olive propose to its partner? With a ring of olive leaves, of course!
4. Why did the olive go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find a good “date.”
5. What do you call an olive that’s too shy to speak? A “shell-f conscious.”
6. How do you make an olive laugh? Tickling its “pit.”
7. Why did the olive refuse to be in the salad? It didn’t want to be “tossed” around.
8. How do you know when an olive is telling a lie? Its nose turns red!
9. What did the olive say when it was having a good time? “This is the pit!”
10. Why did the olive go to school? It wanted to become “well-read.”
11. What do you call an olive that keeps changing its mind? Fickle-y unafraid.
12. How does an olive tell time? It looks at its “timepiece” (pit).
13. Why did the olive go to the doctor? It was feeling “bruised” from all the squeezing.
14. What did the olive say when it couldn’t fit into its clothes? “I can’t olivet wear this!”
15. Why did the olive go on a diet? It wanted to become “olively thin.”
16. How did the olive get over its fear of heights? It took some “pit-stops” along the way.
17. What do you call an olive that’s good at math? An “olive-ma-netician.”
18. Why did the olive quit its job? It couldn’t handle the “pressure.”
19. What did the olive say when it saw its crush? “Olive you from the bottom of my pit.”
20. Why did the olive go to court? It was charged with being “too saucy” in public.

Adding ‘Olive’ to these one-liners is the pits, but it sure makes them funny!

1. Why did Olive go to therapy? Because she wanted to work on her insecurities.
2. I accidentally swallowed an olive seed and now I’m waiting for the tree to grow in my stomach.
3. Why couldn’t the olive dance? Because it didn’t want to pit-ty.
4. What did the tomato say to the olive? You’re looking sharp today.
5. What do you call two olives playing tennis? A deuce with green balls.
6. I just saw an olive walking down the street. I guess you could say it was pitted out.
7. Why was the olive feeling sad? Because it couldn’t find its pit-mate.
8. What did the olive say when it got stuck in the door? Olive let me out!
9. Why couldn’t the olive go to the party? Because it was stuffed.
10. How do you know when an olive is sleeping? When it’s olive in bed.
11. Why did the grape break up with the olive? Because it was always trying to pit it against other fruits.
12. What’s an olive’s favorite kind of music? Olive funk.
13. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the olive get dressed.
14. How do you fix a broken olive? With an olive branch.
15. What do you call an olive that’s always on time? Punctual.
16. Why did the olive go to school? To learn how to be a pit-ot.
17. What’s an olive’s favorite subject in school? Pit-losophy.
18. Why was the olive afraid to go on a date? Because it was afraid of getting pitted in the friend zone.
19. What do you call an olive that can’t stop laughing? A chuckleberry.
20. Why couldn’t the olive ask for directions? Because it always took the pittiest route.

Olive a little, laugh a lot: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Olive

1. An ‘Olive’ a day keeps the doctor away, but a whole jar will keep the boredom at bay.
2. Don’t put all your ‘olives’ in one basket.
3. He who laughs last, didn’t get enough ‘olives’.
4. An ‘olive’ on the tree is worth two in the martini.
5. You can lead an ‘olive’ to water, but you can’t make it drink.
6. The squeaky ‘olive’ gets the martini.
7. An ‘olive’ in time saves nine olives.
8. When life gives you ‘olives’, make olive oil.
9. A penny saved is an ‘olive’ earned.
10. A rolling ‘olive’ gathers no moss, but it does gather some raised eyebrows.
11. Better an ‘olive’ in hand than two in the tree.
12. You can’t make an ‘olive’ without breaking a few pits.
13. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a jar of stuffed ‘olives’.
14. You reap what you ‘olive’.
15. It’s not over until the ‘olive’ sings.
16. An ‘olive’ a day keeps the pickle cravings at bay.
17. The early ‘olive’ catches the worm.
18. A ‘olive’ saved is a ‘olive’ earned.
19. When life gives you lemons, add some ‘olives’ for a kick.
20. You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few ‘olives’.

Briny Banter: QnA Jokes & Puns about Olive You Won’t Be Able to Resist

1. Q: What did the olive say to the other olive at the party? A: Olive you a lot!
2. Q: How do you make an olive laugh? A: Tick-olive-tee!
3. Q: What do you call an olive that tells good jokes? A: A pun-olive!
4. Q: Why did the olive go to therapy? A: It had some serious pit-issues.
5. Q: Why was the olive feeling salty? A: Because it got stuffed into a dirty martini!
6. Q: What did the olive say when it got squished? A: Olive you so much, it hurts!
7. Q: How do you know if an olive is poor? A: It can’t even afford a pimiento.
8. Q: What do you call an olive with no pit? A: Pit-iful!
9. Q: What did the olive say to the bartender who didn’t have any martini glasses left? A: That’s just not olive-rable.
10. Q: What did one olive say to the other when they got stuck in a jar? A: We’re in a bit of a jam!
11. Q: Why did the olive take an anger management class? A: It was prone to pitting outbursts.
12. Q: Why did the olive go to the movies alone? A: It was pit-ifully single.
13. Q: What did the olive say when it finally got out of the jar? A: I’m a free olive now!
14. Q: What did the olive dress up as for Halloween? A: A green bean.
15. Q: How does an olive apologize? A: It says “I’m sorry if I seemed a bit pitted.”
16. Q: Why did the olive take up meditation? A: It wanted to pit-self-improve.
17. Q: What did the olive say when it couldn’t find its friends? A: Olive alone in this world.
18. Q: Why was the olive jealous of the grape? A: Because the grape got all the juice.
19. Q: What did the olive do when it won an award? A: It celebrated by getting olive-r drunk!
20. Q: Why did the olive refuse to go in the salad? A: It was trying to avoid getting tossed.

Olive You, Dad: Hilarious Jokes and Puns about Everyone’s Favorite Green Fruit

1. Why couldn’t the olive stay at the party? Because it was pitted against everyone else.
2. What did the olive say when it was pushed off the table? Olive oil!
3. Did you hear about the olive that got in trouble? It was in a pickle.
4. What do you call an olive that’s been to the gym? A muscle olive.
5. Why did the olive go to therapy? It was feeling stuffed.
6. Why did the olive take up gardening? It wanted to be an olive tree.
7. How do you make an olive laugh? Tell it a funny pit-ture.
8. What did the olive say to the bartender? Put it on my tab.
9. Why did the olive have a hard time fitting in? It was always the odd one out.
10. How do you get an olive to smile? Just say “cheese”.
11. What do you get when you cross an olive with a pickle? A half-sour sense of humor.
12. Why was the olive upset with the baker? It was being taken for grainted.
13. How do you know if an olive is happy? It’s brimming with joy.
14. Did you hear about the olive that loved to dance? It was always salsa-ing around.
15. Why did the olive refuse to go in the martini? It didn’t want to get pickled.
16. What do you call a group of olives playing instruments? A pit band.
17. How do you get an olive to stop rolling? Just put it in the fridge.
18. Why did the olive go on a diet? It wanted to fit into its olive-garden dress.
19. What did the olive say when it got a compliment? “Aw, shucks”.
20. How do you communicate with an olive? You drop it a line.

Olive’ up your day with these double entendre puns!

1. “I really love olives, they’re the pimento my heart.”
2. “I’m not one to brag, but I’m pretty olive-ine at this game.”
3. “I tried to become a cannibal, but in the end, olive that life.”
4. “I’ll have the olive you can give me.”
5. “I don’t mean to be cheesy, but I wanna be your olive-er.”
6. “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy olives and that’s pretty much the same thing.”
7. “My ex said I was a pitbull, but I prefer to think of myself as an olive branch in a martini.”
8. “Life is like a jar of olives, you never know what you’re gonna get.”
9. “I may not be rich, but I’m olive you need.”
10. “I don’t believe in love at first sight, but olive at first bite.”
11. “I’m not addicted to olives, I can stop anytime I want – I just don’t want to.”
12. “They say laughter is the best medicine, but I think olives come in at a close second.”
13. “What did the olive say when it got stuck in a jar? Olive you a lot.”
14. “Why was the olive sad? Because it was pitted against so many other fruits.”
15. “Don’t worry about me, I’ve got my life all pitted out…I mean, planned out.”
16. “I don’t usually like green things, but olives are just my type.”
17. “My doctor told me I need more greens in my diet, so I switched to olive juice.”
18. “I may be small, but I’ve got a big olive for pizza toppings.”
19. “Why did the olive go to therapy? To get to the root of its insecurities.”
20. “I’m such a fan of olives, I even wrote a love song called ‘Olive You Forever’.”

O-live for these hilarious Recursive Puns about Olive

1. Why did the olive keep telling jokes? Because it loved to pit its wit against others.
2. How do you make an olive laugh? Tickle its pit.
3. What did the olive say when the bartender asked for its ID? I can’t show you my olive-er license.
4. I tried to make a joke about olives, but it just kept circling back to the same punchline. I guess you could say it was an olive loop.
5. Why did the olive invite all its friends over? Because it wanted to throw a pitting party.
6. What’s an olive’s favorite type of music? Olive-r classical.
7. How do you know if an olive is ripe? It’s good at finding its place in the pit-ure.
8. Did you hear about the olive that was hit in the head? It suffered from brine damage.
9. What did the olive say when it fell off the plate? Olive-er, catch me!
10. Why did the olive go to therapy? It had issues with low self-O-livesteem.
11. What do you call an olive with no friends? A lone olive.
12. How do olives stay in shape? They do the pit-athlon.
13. Why did the olive feel embarrassed? Because it couldn’t find its way out of the grove.
14. What did the olive say to the cheese at the party? Olive you.
15. Why did the olive dress up in a suit and tie? Because it was going to the olive-r of the court.
16. How did the olive get to the top of the tree? It used its olive-lity.
17. What’s an olive’s favorite TV show? Pits and Recreation.
18. Why did the olive go to the doctor? It had a lot of pits in its stomach.
19. What did the olive say when it couldn’t open the jar? That’s just oliver the top.
20. Why did the olive feel rejected? Because nobody wanted to pit it on their sandwich.

Bringing Humor to the Table: Olive Juxtaposition Jokes

1. Why did the olive go to therapy? Because it had pits.
2. How do you make an olive laugh? Tickling its pimento.
3. I tried to make my salad more exciting, but all I had was a jar of olives. It just ended up being an olive garden.
4. If an olive is stuck between two slices of bread, does that make it a sandwich?
5. What’s an olive’s favorite way to travel? By oil tank-er.
6. Why did the olive get arrested? It was caught in a pickle.
7. Why did the olive break up with its girlfriend? She was too a-‘brine’ed.
8. A slice of cheese, a cube of salami, and an olive walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of char-cute-erie?”
9. How do you keep an olive from laughing? Give it a good shake.
10. The difference between a green and black olive? Just a case of the olives getting pickled.
11. What do you call an olive that tells jokes? A pun-olive.
12. I used to think olives were just small pickles, but now I know I was being ‘brine’-washed.
13. Why was the olive shy? Because it was self-contained.
14. Two olives were walking down the street. One said to the other, “Hey, what’s the pit for?”
15. What do you call a group of olives? A party platter.
16. Why did the olive get into a fight with the toothpick? It was a case of speared emotions.
17. How do you know when an olive is ripe? When it turns ‘olovelier’.
18. Did you hear about the olive that saved a drowning pickle? It was a real life-saver.
19. Why did the olive want to be a magician? It wanted to be pitted against its own tricks.
20. How do you make a martini with an olive? Just a splash of gin and a whole lot of ‘oliveliness’.

Olive the Fun and Punny ‘Malapropisms’ You’ll Love

1. “I just can’t ketchup with all these newfangled technologies.”
2. “Sorry, I must have left my together phone at home.”
3. “I’m feeling a little confuzed today.”
4. “I’m not sure if I should rice to the challenge.”
5. “Can you pass me the gravy instead of the remote?”
6. “I think I have a bacteria infection.”
7. “I’m having a brainshort-circuit.”
8. “I can’t catch a brake in this job.”
9. “I need to call my launder doctor.”
10. “I’m not very good at pepper-gizing.”
11. “I’m in a real pickle here.”
12. “I have a good at these window turtles.”
13. “I’m just winging it at this point.”
14. “I’m so egg-cited for our trip.”
15. “I’m on thin ice with my boss.”
16. “I need to cut mytiger short.”
17. “I have a knack for saying the wrong hingst.”
18. “I’m addicted to shoplifting on my phone.”
19. “Please excuse my egg-spensive taste.”
20. “I’m sorry, my brain is on auto-pilot right now.”

Olive’s eyes were the pits, Tom said stonily in his best Swiftie voice.

1. “I’m always craving something new,” Olive said eagerly.
2. “I can’t believe I ate the whole bowl of olives,” Olive confessed pitifully.
3. “These olives are the pits,” Olive groaned sourly.
4. “Do you prefer green olives or black olives?” Olive questioned curiously.
5. “My love for olives has no pits,” Olive declared wholeheartedly.
6. “I’m sorry, I don’t have any more olives,” Olive apologized hesitantly.
7. “One more olive won’t hurt,” Olive rationalized debatably.
8. “I never met an olive I didn’t like,” Olive boasted proudly.
9. “Who knew olives could be so versatile?” Olive marveled creatively.
10. “My olive obsession knows no bounds,” Olive admitted humorously.
11. “I can feel the tension in the air,” Olive said tensely.
12. “The olive branch is a symbol of peace,” Olive preached pacifistically.
13. “I’m tired of being stuck in the olive jar,” Olive complained glassy-eyed.
14. “I’ll never forgive you for taking the last olive,” Olive said spitefully.
15. “Do you like your martini with one olive or three?” Olive inquired stirringly.
16. “I’ve been told I have an olive complexion,” Olive remarked ironically.
17. “Squeeze another olive in there, it needs more flavor,” Olive instructed tactlessly.
18. “I’ll have a side of olives with my main dish,” Olive ordered decisively.
19. “I can’t believe you’ve never tried olive oil ice cream,” Olive stated incredulously.
20. “I’m so excited for this Mediterranean dish, I could cry olives,” Olive squealed joyfully.

Olive Spoof: Hilarious Spoonerisms about the Beloved Fruit

1. Ostrich Gloves (instead of Ghostly Ovals)
2. Frisky Dove (instead of Ditsy Frown)
3. Blubber Toenail (instead of Tubular Bell)
4. Mitten House (instead of Hidden Mouse)
5. Spudly Pie (instead of Puddly Spy)
6. Sloppy Boop (instead of Bobby Socks)
7. Cabbage Boop (instead of Bottle Cap)
8. Grumbling Hose (instead of House Hunting)
9. Drooling Socks (instead of Stolen Docks)
10. Frizzy Cloak (instead of Cozy Flannel)
11. Candle Drawer (instead of Dandelion Flower)
12. Hairy Zebra (instead of Zany Hair)
13. Campfire Lark (instead of Landmine Park)
14. Buggy Coaster (instead of Cuddly Bear)
15. Hopping Noodle (instead of Naughty Poodle)
16. Whining Doorknob (instead of Dining Room)
17. Hungry Yodel (instead of Young Hollywood)
18. Dancing Gutter (instead of Glitter Dancer)
19. Bouncing Cactus (instead of Caring Boss)
20. Fanny Croissant (instead of Cranky Fountain)

Olive your jokes about knock-knocks?

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive you glad I didn’t say banana?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive you, is it me you’re looking for?
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive me loves olive you.
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive you, can I come in?
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive you, I really do.
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive you happy to see me?
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive grabbed you something nice to eat!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive you forever and always!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive juice!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive and let die.
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive alone, please.
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive branch, peace be with you.
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive for you, my dear.
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive at first sight.
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive it when you smile.
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive you so much, I can hardly contain it.
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive my heart belongs to you.
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive you too, pumpkin!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive a good joke, let’s hear it!

Olive my puns? They’re pretty a-peeling!

Well folks, it’s time for me to bid adieu like a grape rolling off an olive platter. But before I go, let me leave you with a few words of wisdom – never underestimate the power of a good olive pun, it just might be the key to a pit-tastic conversation starter. So go ahead and scroll through our pun-tastic list of jokes about olives and don’t forget to check out our other pun-filled posts for some guaranteed laughs. Until next time, remember – life is short, so make sure you have a few olives… I mean, jokes up your sleeve. Cheers!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

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