Welcome to the “Best Puns about Toilet” post! Get ready to have your seat in stitches with these clever and hilarious jokes about everyone’s favorite porcelain throne. Don’t worry, these jokes are kid-friendly so feel free to share them with the little ones. From potty humor to witty bathroom banter, this list of toilet puns is sure to crack you up. So grab some toilet paper and get ready to flush away your troubles with some good old-fashioned humor. Are you ready to dive into this #1 list of toilet humor? Let’s get started!
Flush Out the Laughs with Our Top Toilet Puns & Jokes!
- “Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!”
- “Why did the toilet brush break up with the toilet? It couldn’t handle the commitment!”
- “I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.”
- “Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.”
- “What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.”
- “Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill backwards? To wipe its butt.”
- “Why was the bathroom scared? It saw the toilet paper roll was on a roll.”
- “I accidentally flushed a few pages of my book down the toilet. It was a real page turner.”
- “What do toilets and birthdays have in common? They both involve blowing out candles.”
- “Why did the detective go to the bathroom? To investigate a number 2.”
- “What do toilets and paper towels have in common? They both have rolls.”
- “Why did the toilet paper flush itself down the toilet? Because it wanted to feel clean.”
- “What do you call a psychic in a bathroom? A John-athan.”
- “Why did the toilet embarrass itself? It didn’t know how to use the bidet.”
- “Why did the toilet paper run out of the bathroom? It just wanted to roll away.”
- “What do you call a bear in the bathroom? Pooh.”
- “Why was the ghost in the bathroom? Because it needed to use the toilet!”
- “What does a toilet do when it is angry? It gets tanked.”
- “Why did the toilet go to therapy? It was feeling flushed.”
- “What do you call a bathroom that’s always on time? Punctual-oo!”
Flush away your troubles with these hilarious toilet one-liners!
- I visited a new toilet factory, but the tour was a bit crappy.
- My wife says I’m obsessed with toilets, but I just can’t flush the feeling.
- Why do toilets make good comedians? Because they have a lot of bathroom humor.
- What’s a toilet’s favorite font? Comic Sans Flush.
- I wanted to make a joke about toilets, but it ended up being too crappy.
- I accidentally walked into the wrong toilet, but I just went with the flow.
- Did you hear about the toilet that was afraid of heights? It was a low flush.
- I asked my boss for a raise, but he just told me to take a seat on the toilet.
- My therapist told me my fear of toilets is irrational, but I think it’s just my gut feeling.
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
- How do you know if a toilet is shy? It won’t show its seat.
- The plumber told me my toilet was clogged because I flushed my hopes and dreams down it.
- I saw a haunted toilet once, but it was just a figment of my imagination.
- I accidentally flushed my phone down the toilet. It’s now a smartphone.
- What do you call a toilet that’s on strike? A picket potty.
- I’m trying to save water, so I only flush every other time I use the toilet. The seat is starting to miss me.
- Why are toilets always so grumpy in the morning? Because they just got up and had to handle everyone’s crap.
- I was going to make a joke about dirty toilets, but that’s just not my style.
- How did the toilets celebrate their anniversary? They went out for a romantic potty-trip.
- I hate using public toilets, it’s like playing Russian roulette with my bum.
Toilet Troubles: Hilarious Proverbs and Wise Sayings to Keep You Laughing on the Pot!
- “A good toilet seat is like a good friend, always there when you need it.”
- “Flush the negativity and let the good vibes flow.”
- “A bathroom without a plunger is like a sword without a sheath.”
- “Toilet paper: the real MVP of the bathroom.”
- “A clean toilet is a happy toilet, and a happy toilet is a happy home.”
- “No one looks good while holding a plunger.”
- “The only time it’s acceptable to be full of crap is when you’re on the toilet.”
- “A toilet lid is like a superhero’s cape, protecting us from unspeakable horrors.”
- “In a world full of dirty toilets, be a sparkling clean one.”
- “When life hands you lemons, grab some toilet paper.”
- “A restroom without soap is like a joke without a punchline.”
- “If you aim to please, aim for the commode.”
- “Don’t wait for the perfect moment, just flush and make it perfect.”
- “The only place it’s socially acceptable to talk to yourself is in the bathroom.”
- “We may all use the same bathroom, but we all have a different experience.”
- “A messy bathroom is a reflection of your inner chaos.”
- “When in doubt, always knock before entering a public restroom.”
- “In a world full of toilet paper rolls, be a bidet.”
- “A day without plumbing is like a day without sunshine.”
- “A poorly stocked bathroom is a recipe for disaster, or at least a really unpleasant experience.”
Toilet Humor: QnA Jokes & Puns that will Leave You Flushing with Laughter
- Q: What did the toilet say to the bathroom sink? A: You’re looking a little flushed.
- Q: Why did the toilet roll down the hill? A: It wanted to get to the bottom.
- Q: What did one toilet say to the other? A: You look pretty pooped.
- Q: What did the toilet say to the plunger? A: I can handle this crap.
- Q: What do you call a toilet that is always on the run? A: A rolling toilet.
- Q: What did the toilet say when it was feeling under the weather? A: I’m just a little bowl-ed over.
- Q: What do you call a bathroom with no toilet? A: A restroom-ration center.
- Q: Why did the toilet paper roll across the road? A: To get to the thick side.
- Q: What do you get when you cross a toilet and a water fountain? A: A flush fountain.
- Q: Why did the toilet take a nap? A: It was feeling drained.
- Q: What’s a toilet’s favorite dessert? A: Poo-ding.
- Q: How does a toilet keep its wig on? A: With a hairband-aid.
- Q: How does a toilet stay warm in winter? A: With a seat warmer.
- Q: What do you call a toilet that plays music? A: A potty-phon
Flush Away the Boredom with These Hilarious Dad Jokes & Puns about Toilet
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
- Did you hear about the new toilet invention? It’s called the “roll”-ercoster!
- I’m not addicted to using the toilet, I’m just really good at it.
- What do you call a toilet that takes a long time to flush? A slow-poke!
- How do you fix a broken toilet? With a plumber’s crack!
- What does a piece of toilet paper say when it’s running late? “I’ll be there in a poooooo!”
- Why did the toilet paper go to therapy? Because it was on a roll!
- Did you know the first French toilets didn’t have seats? They were just called “Aus-sans”!
- What’s a toilet’s favorite drink? Poo-tine!
- When is the best time to go to the bathroom? When the clock is down to ten-toilet!
- I don’t always use the bathroom, but when I do, I prefer an en suite.
- Why did the toilet get a ticket? It was caught speeding!
- What do you call a toilet that has been married for a long time? A commode relationship!
- I asked my plumber for advice and he said, “Don’t flush your dreams down the toilet!”
- Why don’t toilets like jokes? They can’t take crap from anyone!
- What’s a toilet’s favorite type of music? Jazz, because it loves to take breaks!
- Did you hear about the toilet that was afraid to flush? It had stage fright!
- What do toilets and computers have in common? They both have screens to dump things on.
- What do you call a toilet that’s afraid to go down? A loo-p!
- My wife said she was thirsty, so I told her to just use the toilet. It’s on tap!
Flush out the Laughs with Toilet-Themed Double Entendres and Puns
- “I’m going to take a seat on the throne and do my business.”
- “I must excuse myself, nature is calling for a royal flush.”
- “Don’t forget to put your seat down before you leave the bathroom, it’s the polite thing to do.”
- “Looks like someone forgot to unclog the ol’ plumbing.”
- “I always have a good time in the bathroom. It’s my happy potty.”
- “I’m not just sitting on the toilet, I’m making masterpieces.”
- “Sorry, I couldn’t hold it in any longer, my bladder was being a little pissy.”
- “Using the bathroom is like a game of Russian roulette, never know if it’s going to be a smooth ride or a messy one.”
- “Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom, of course.”
- “Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.”
- “Looks like someone is expelling government secrets in there.”
- “I love multitasking in the bathroom, I can take care of business while scrolling through social media.”
- “Why don’t skeletons use toilets? Because they don’t have the guts.”
- “There’s nothing like a good bathroom break to relieve some pressure and release some tension.”
- “I prefer to call my bathroom the ‘think tank’ because that’s where all my best ideas come from.”
- “Why was the toilet paper afraid to cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crappy situation.”
- “Can’t talk, busy dropping the kids off at the pool.”
- “My bathroom is my sanctuary, a place where I can sit and think, or tank and sit.”
- “Why did the toilet seat go to therapy? For a seat-uation analysis.”
- “The bathroom is the perfect escape from reality, a place where time stands still and the only thing that matters is the task at hand.”
Flush Out Some Laughs with These Recursive Puns about Toilets
- Why did the toilet always feel lonely? Because it was constantly flushing away its friends.
- The toilet was feeling down, but it found some relief in the end.
- I asked the toilet if it was feeling okay. It replied, “I’m just going through a rough bowel movement.”
- The toilet decided to retire early because it was always in the same crap job.
- What do you call a toilet that constantly complains? A whine-and-poop.
- Why did the toilet go on strike? It was tired of dealing with a bunch of crap.
- The toilet was feeling pretty flushed with excitement.
- When the toilet went to therapy, it finally learned to let sh*t go.
- Why did the toilet take a snowboarding lesson? It wanted to learn how to take radical turds.
- I used to be afraid of sitting on the toilet, but now I’m feeling pretty potty-trained.
- Did you hear about the toilet that stopped working? It was having a mid-life crisis.
- The toilet was feeling pretty exposed, so I asked if it needed a seat cover.
- Why did the toilet refuse to eat? It was on a strict bowel movement diet.
- What did one toilet say to the other? “I’m getting really tired of your sh*t.”
- The toilet was feeling pretty crappy, but then it remembered that sh*t happens.
- Why did the toilet go on vacation? It needed a little time to relax and unwind.
- The toilet always felt ignored, but it was relieved when someone finally gave a sh*t.
- Did you hear about the argument between the toilet and the sink? It was pretty heated.
- I asked the toilet for some advice and it said, “Flush often, worry less.”
- Why do toilets make great detectives? They always solve their cases by following the number two.
Toilet’ Malapropisms’: A Potty Party of Word Mix-Ups
- “I need to use the stool instead of the toilet.”
- “I was in a rush, so I just made a quick porcelain deposit.”
- “Can I borrow some TP for my tushie?”
- “The plumbing in this bathroom is really backed up, I can’t even flush my phone.”
- “My mom always reminds me to wash my flush after using the bathroom.”
- “I’m feeling a little under the paper, can you pass me a roll?”
- “I never know what to do with the porcelain throne handle, do I pull it or push it?”
- “Do you mind if I excuse myself to powder my nose?”
- “My boss always tells me I need to have more restroom-ate breaks.”
- “I think this public toilet is haunted, it keeps making scary gurgling noises.”
- “I really need to take care of some urgent business in the powder room.”
- “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the bidet, it just feels like a fancy toilet bowl.”
- “Do you have any bathroom spray? I left an unseemly stench in there.”
- “I can’t believe you clogged the water closet again! Do you have a plunger handy?”
- “I always try to avoid using the lavatory on airplanes, the turbulence can be quite disorienting.”
- “I’m going to grab a snack while I’m here, could you pass me the urinal cakes?”
- “Why is there a basket of fruit in this bathroom stall? Oh wait, those are air fresheners.”
- “I have to be careful with spicy food, otherwise I’ll have a serious case of fiery potties.”
- “Why is there a mirror above this appliance? Do people really brush their teeth on the john?”
- “I always forget to put the seat down and then my wife gives me a good yelling-to.”
Flushed with Success: Hilarious Toilet Tom Swifties to Make You Laugh
- “I can’t believe I just flushed all that money down the toilet,” Tom said flush-faced.
- “Looks like I’m really in deep sh*t this time,” Tom said sitting on the toilet.
- “I’m feeling really constipated today,” Tom said with a strained expression.
- “I always feel relieved after using this toilet,” Tom said with a sigh.
- “I think someone forgot to flush,” Tom said looking at the messy toilet.
- “Don’t worry, this toilet has got you covered,” Tom said handing over some toilet paper.
- “I think I’m going to be in here for a while,” Tom said taking a book into the bathroom.
- “I think I underestimated the power of this chili,” Tom said as he ran to the toilet.
- “This toilet is really giving me a run for my money,” Tom said out of breath.
- “I never realized how much I rely on toilets until one breaks,” Tom said with a flush of embarrassment.
- “I feel like I’m on a never-ending ride on this toilet,” Tom said sitting on a clogged one.
- “I think we may need a plumbers assistance with this toilet,” Tom said looking at the overflowing bowl.
- “I can’t believe I fell asleep on the toilet,” Tom said waking up with a numb butt.
- “Looks like I’ll have to postpone my meeting, I’m stuck on this toilet,” Tom said helplessly.
- “I don’t usually talk about my bowel movements, but this is a real doozy,” Tom said with a groan.
- “Is it just me or does this toilet have a sense of humor?” Tom said wiping away tears of laughter.
- “I sure hope this public restroom toilet has enough toilet paper,” Tom said with a hint of panic.
- “I may not be able to solve complex equations, but I’m a pro at plunging this toilet,” Tom said proudly.
- “This is what they mean when they say ‘nature’s calling’,” Tom said rushing to the toilet.
- “I heard Bill Gates has a golden toilet, but this one feels just as luxurious,” Tom said jokingly.
Toilet toils: Tongue-twisting spoonerisms that will have you in stitches!
- “Boilet Tox”
- “Loo Potty”
- “Washroom Biscal Bowl”
- “Potty Train”
- “Flushy Tub”
- “Tooty Paper”
- “Bidet Tango”
- “Plunger Paddle”
- “Urinal Bounce”
- “Toilet Ticks”
- “John Tank”
- “Seat Treat”
- “Bathroom Boom”
- “Sink Link”
- “Commode Cuddle”
- “Pee Puddle”
- “Tinkle Sink”
- “Restroom Roast”
- “Squat Throne”
- “Honey Potty”
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toilets, the ultimate punchline!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toilet. Toilet who? Toilet go and fix the broken one in the bathroom!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you waiting for? Let’s go to the toilet!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toilet paper. Toilet paper who? Toilet paper, it’s time to do your job!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Potty. Potty who? Potty little joke, but it made you laugh!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Flush. Flush who? Flush me, I’m stuck in the toilet!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bathroom. Bathroom who? Bathroom-dy can use this toilet? I really need to go!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tissue. Tissue who? Tissue on the floor, someone didn’t make it to the toilet.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Plunger. Plunger who? Plunger into action, this toilet is clogged!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cleaner. Cleaner who? Cleaner out the bathroom, I need to pee!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Loo. Loo who? Loo-k out, this toilet is about to overflow!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Poo. Poo who? Poo don’t want to know who didn’t flush the toilet.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bidet. Bidet who? Bidet to say this, but I’m out of toilet paper.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toilet brush. Toilet brush who? Toilet brush your teeth while you’re at it.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toilet seat. Toilet seat who? Toilet seat yourself, let’s go to the bathroom!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Soap. Soap who? Soap your hands before you leave the toilet.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Urine. Urine who? Urine big trouble if this toilet isn’t fixed soon.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Diarrhea. Diarrhea who? Diarrhea-fficult to hold it in any longer, can I use your toilet?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Constipation. Constipation who? Constipation nation, we need more fiber in this toilet!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Squatty Potty. Squatty Potty who? Squatty Potty please pass the toilet paper.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Plumbing. Plumbing who? Plumbing sure looks like we need a plumber for this toilet!
Flushed with Humorous Jokes – Toileta-tions!
Well, folks, we hope these 200+ jokes about toilets have left you chuckling and possibly even crossing your legs in laughter. But don’t flush away all the fun just yet! Be sure to check out our other pun-filled and joke-packed posts on all things bathroom humor. From showers to bidets, we’ve got it all covered. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, even when dealing with the porcelain throne. Stay tuned for more gut-busting gags and witty witticisms, and always remember to keep a plunger handy, just in case.
