Welcome to our list of the best cold puns and jokes! If you’re feeling down in the icy dumps, we’ve got just the cure for you – a dose of humor! These puns about the cold are guaranteed to warm up your soul and make you chuckle. They’re perfect for kids (and adults too), clever and positive. So, without further ado, let’s dive into this frosty and hilarious world of jokes about the cold!
Chill Out with Our Top ‘Cold’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks!
- Why did the polar bear refuse to go on a blind date? Because he didn’t want to be set up on a “cold” encounter.
- How do snowmen greet each other? Ice to meet you!
- What does a snowman eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes.
- Why did the snowman call his dog Frost? Because he leaves yellow snow everywhere.
- What’s the best way to communicate with a glacier? Send it an ice message.
- Why did the snowman go to therapy? He had a meltdown.
- How do you keep a house warm in the winter? Use a firepl ice.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- Why was the snowman’s vocabulary so limited? He only had a few snowflakes of mine.
- What happens when you cross a snowman and a vampire? You get frostbite.
- What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost.
- Why did the icicle go to school? To learn how to get a watered-icicle.
- How do you catch a cold? Go outside with wet hair.
- Why was the iceberg kicked out of the underwater dance party? It wasn’t cool enough.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
- How do you know when it’s cold outside? When you go outside and it’s absolute zero.
- What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrot, too?
- Why did the snowman’s girlfriend break up with him? Because he was too flaky.
- What did Elsa say when she became queen of Arendelle? Let it go, let it go!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
Chill Out and Laugh with These Hilarious Cold One-Liners
- Why did the snowman go to therapy? He was feeling a bit flaky.
- What did the arctic detective say when he solved the case? It’s snow mystery!
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
- Did you hear about the man who was frozen while walking to work? He said his commute was becoming unbearable.
- I tried to catch some fog earlier, but I mist.
- What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
- Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumbly.
- Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense.
- Why can’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.
- What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?
- Why was the belt arrested? It held up a pair of pants.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
Chilling Chuckles: QnA Jokes & Puns about ‘Cold’
- Q: What did the snowman say when he woke up with a cold? A: Brrr-istas!
- Q: What did one snowflake say to the other? A: “I’m feeling a bit under the weather.
- Q: Why did the ice cream refuse to go outside in the winter? A: Because it was afraid of catching a brain-freeze.
- Q: How do you make an ice cube giggle? A: Put it in a cold shoulder.
- Q: What is a polar bear’s favorite type of music? A: Chill-oustic.
- Q: What did the snow say to the wind? A. Stop blowing hot air, I’m trying to stay cold here!
- Q: Why was the snowman feeling depressed? A: He had the winter blues.
- Q: How does a penguin build its house? A: Igloos it together!
- Q: What did the thermometer say to the ice cube? A: “You’re cool.”
- Q: How does a snowman get to work? A: By icicle-ing a lift.
- Q: What did one winter hat say to the other? A: “You look a-mazing!”
- Q: Why did the snowman wear a scarf? A: Because it was snow joke getting a cold neck.
- Q: How do you catch a polar bear? A: You make a wish for it at the North Pole!
- Q: What did one snowflake say to the other in a blizzard? A: “Together we snow, but alone we flake.”
- Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? A: Frosty the Snow-sucker.
- Q: What do you call an Eskimo cow? A: An Ice Creamoo!
- Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: A Cold-blooded croc-o-vest!
- Q: What do you get when you mix snow and fog? A: Frosted flakes!
- Q: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? A: An abominable snowman.
- Q: What did the snowman say when he was offered a hot drink? A: “No, thanks, I prefer it on the rocks.”
Chillingly Hilarious: Dad Jokes about Cold
- Why was the snowman feeling down? Because he had a meltdown.
- What do you call an icy pop star? Vanilla Freeze!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- Did you hear about the fireman who fell into a cold river? He ended up with water on the knee.
- I heard a rumor that the ski lift broke down today. It’s snow joke.
- What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer? “You make me feel so hot.”
- How do you make an ice cream sandwich laugh? You poke it in its choco-chip with a popsicle stick.
- Why did the polar bear refuse to fight the penguin? Because he didn’t want to end up with a black eye.
- I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
- Did you hear about the snowstorm in the bakery? It was a real dough blizzard.
- Why did the snowman go to therapy? He had a meltdown.
- What did one snowflake say to the other? “I think we’re flaking out.”
- How did Jack Frost get to work? On an icicle.
- I’ve got a great pun about snow, but I’ll leave it on ice for now.
- Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize.
- Why did the polar bear refuse to dance? He didn’t want to break the ice.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- Why did the snowman wear a scarf? Because he was afraid of catching a cold.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- Why did the snowman put his pants in the freezer? He wanted to keep his cool.
Chillingly Funny: Cold Puns & Jokes for Kids
- Why does the snowman love his job? Because it’s always cool!
- What do you call a chilly, sarcastic person? An ice-smart aleck!
- How do snowmen travel around town? By icicle!
- What did the snowman order at the coffee shop? A frosty latte!
- What’s a snowman’s favorite type of music? Chilly pop!
- What did the polar bear say when he slipped on the ice? “Oops, I’ve got the cold shoulder!”
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
- How do you know if a joke is a dad joke? When it becomes apparent!
- Why couldn’t the bicycle go to prom? Because it was two-tired!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- Why was the broom running late? It overswept!
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
- How does a snowman get to work? By icicle!
- What is a penguin’s favorite dessert? Ice-cream!
Stay Frosty: Hilarious Quotes about the Chilly Weather
- “I’m not sure if I’m more tired of the cold or the constant struggle of putting on layers.”
- “Winter is coming…and so is my electric bill.”
- “There’s no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing choices.”
- “I’m not saying it’s cold outside, but I just saw a penguin wearing a parka.”
- “My winter body is more of a snowman body.”
- “I don’t need a gym membership, shivering burns calories too.”
- “The only thing getting ‘lit’ this winter is my fireplace.”
- “Polar bears have it easy, they never have to worry about heating bills.”
- “I don’t trust people who say they don’t mind the cold. They’re either lying or have icicles for blood.”
- “If you need me, I’ll be hibernating until spring.”
- “The only thing I’m building this winter is a gingerbread house.”
- “I have a love-hate relationship with winter. Mostly hate, but the hot chocolate is pretty great.”
- “My winter fashion statement is just one giant scarf covering my whole body.”
- “Some people are like snowflakes…beautiful and unique until you walk all over them.”
- “I’m convinced snow was invented by the ice scraper industry.”
- “The only thing colder than my heart in the winter is my car’s seats.”
- “I don’t understand why penguins waddle, they have built-in ice skates.”
- “The key to surviving winter is denial and lots of hot cocoa.”
- “The only thing rising faster than global temperatures is my heating bill.”
- “I’m not a morning person, but when it’s cold outside, I’m a nope-not-leaving-my-bed person.”
Chill Out with these Hilarious Cold-Weather Proverbs and Wise Sayings
- [
- ) “A blanket in the hand is worth two in the freezer.”
- ) “Don’t put all your snowballs in one basket.”
- ) “Cold hands, warm heart…and frosty fingers.”
- ) “Winter is nature’s way of telling you to tuck your shirt in.”
- ) “The only thing colder than a polar bear’s hug is a mother-in-law’s heart.”
- ) “You can’t please everyone, just like how you can’t expect a snowman to stay frozen under the sun.”
- ) “It’s not the cold that makes you shiver, it’s the thought of your heating bill.”
- ) “Pro-tip for surviving winter: rugs are just blankets for your feet.”
- ) “If life gives you frostbite, make ice sculptures.”
- ) “Being single in winter is like being a penguin in the desert – cold and lonely.”
- ) “You know it’s winter when you can make an entire meal out of soups and hot chocolate.”
- ) “The best way to warm up is to stand in front of the fridge with the door open.”
- ) “When it’s chilly outside, just remember that there’s always someone out there who’s colder…and probably complaining about it more.”
- ) “Love is like a sweater – it keeps you warm but sometimes it also makes you itch.”
- ) “Behind every successful snowball fight is someone who can roll one heck of a snowball.”
- ) “Soup is just a smoothie made by a microwave.”
- ) “In winter, you can either embrace the cold or hibernate like a bear…your choice.”
- ) “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a really good jacket for surviving the winter.”
- ) “Cold weather brings out the inner wolf in me – my howls are just me trying to warm up my vocal cords.
- ) “The true test of friendship is seeing who still wants to hang out with you during a polar vortex.”
Chillingly Clever: Embracing the ‘Cold’ Double Entendres Puns
- “Icy what you did there.”
- “Chilling out with my snow-mates.”
- “My jokes may be cold, but I promise they’re never frosty.”
- “Feeling pretty chilled, but I’m just trying to keep it cool.”
- “Let’s snowball this conversation into something funnier.”
- “Winter may be a cold season, but laughter always keeps it warm.”
- “Hope you don’t mind these cold puns, I find them ice-berg of humor.”
- “Ice to meet you, I’m a pretty cool person.”
- “Get ready for some frosty laughs.”
- “It’s colder than the Arctic out here, but my pun game is still on fire.”
- “I’ve got a freezer full of cold jokes, wanna hear one?”
- “Why did the snowman go to therapy? He was going through a mid-ice crisis.”
- “I stayed up all night trying to come up with the perfect pun for this cold weather, but it just gave me brain freeze.”
- “I was planning on telling a joke about the cold, but it’s snow use now.”
- “I’m sorry for giving you the cold shoulder, it was just a frost impression.”
- “This weather is making me feel like a snowman, all I want to do is stay indoors and chill.”
- What do you call an igloo without wifi? A cold spot.”
- “I may not have a cold heart, but my puns definitely do.”
- “Why don’t penguins tell jokes? Because they’re afraid of cracking up.”
- “Do you wanna build a snowman? JK, I was just trying to break the ice with you.”
Chillingly Hilarious: Recursive Puns about Cold
- Why was the snowman feeling down? Because the weather was really ice-olated.
- Did you hear about the chilled out math teacher? He’s always on a cosine wave.
- What do you call a group of polar bears drinking hot cocoa? A hibernate-in.
- I used to be cold all the time, but then I found a jacket with pockets… it was life-changing.
- I asked my refrigerator why it was shivering, but it just gave me the cold shoulder.
- How can you tell if a snowman is a good listener? It’ll always hear you out.
- My ice cube collection is getting out of control… I think I need to chill out.
- Have you heard about the latest snowstorm? It’s snow joke.
- I’m not a fan of cold weather, but at least the ice knows when to stay in its “lane.”
- My friend told me I didn’t have enough layers on for the weather, but I had a thick skin about it.
- I tried to make a frozen pizza, but it ended up just getting frost-burnt.
- Why did the ice cubes go to therapy? They were feeling a bit watered down.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abominable showman.
- I thought about buying a space heater, but that would just be adding fuel to the fire.
- Why did the cold weather start acting distant? Because it was ice-o-lated.
- I signed up for a winter boot camp, but it ended up being a snowball fight instead.
- I told my friends I was going to chill by the fire, but they thought I meant I was going to relax.
- What do you call a snowman in April? A melt-in.
- I’m trying to cut back on my cold puns, but I’m just snow in love with them.
- Why did the snowman put his house on the market? It was just too freezer-burnt for him.
‘Knock, knock. Who’s there? A chilly punchline from these cold knock-knock jokes!’
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow use trying to knock on a frozen door!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frost. Frost who? Frost me, it’s cold out here!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chilly. Chilly who? Chilly you let me in? I’m freezing!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice to see you, but I’m too cold to stay!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frostbite. Frostbite who? Frostbite my tongue trying to say that!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hail. Hail who? Hail no, I’m staying inside where it’s warm!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Icy. Icy who? Icy roads ahead! Stay warm and safe inside!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Thermometer. Thermometer who? Thermometer be a lot warmer inside than out here!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Brrrr. Brrrr who? Brrrr-ing me a hot cocoa, please!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frosty. Frosty who? Frosty the snowman, let’s go inside and warm up!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snowball. Snowball who? Snowball fight outside? No thanks, I’m hibernating.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Winter. Winter who? Winter is coming…and so is my cold!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iceberg. Iceberg who? Iceberg lettuce stay inside where it’s warm!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Siberia. Siberia who? Siberia icy out there, I’m staying in!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frozen. Frozen who? Frozen fingers? More like frozen everything!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hypothermia. Hypothermia who? Hypothermia kidding me? It’s freezing out here!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Blizzard. Blizzard who? Blizzard conditions? I’d rather be inside with a hot cocoa!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sleet. Sleet who? Sleet me in, I’m shivering!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Winter storm. Winter storm who? Winter storm wrapped in a blanket, that’s who!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Igloo. Igloo who? Igloo all bundled up, I’m not leaving my house!
Frosty Laughs to Warm Up Your Day!
As we come to the end of our chilly collection of puns and jokes, let’s all take a moment to appreciate the power of laughter to warm us up on even the coldest of days. And if you’re still in need of a good chuckle, why not check out some of our other posts on puns and jokes? Trust me, they’ll have you rolling in laughter faster than you can say “hot chocolate.” Stay warm, my friends!