Are you looking for a clever and funny way to add some positive humor into your day? Then you’ve come to the right place! We’ve compiled a list of the best phone jokes and puns that are sure to make even the grumpiest of kids crack a smile. From ringing up hilarious punchlines to dialing up some serious laughs, these jokes will have you LOL-ing in no time. So sit back, relax, and get ready to dial into the most hilarious phone puns about. Let’s get this party connected!
Call Up Some Laughs with These Hilarious ‘Phone’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks
- Why couldn’t the phone make it to the party? Because it was always on silent.
- What did the phone say to its owner who was always dropping it? “Stop giving me a bad reception!”
- How does a phone introduce itself? “Hi, I’m a touch screen!”
- My phone and I have a special connection – it’s always on low battery when I need it the most.
- What did one phone say to the other in a fight? “I’m hanging up on you!”
- Why did the smartphone bring sunglasses to the beach? Because it didn’t want to get a sun-screen!
- How do you know if your phone is afraid of heights? It keeps dropping calls.
- Did you hear about the new phone that can clean your house? It’s called the iDust.
- How does a phone like its eggs cooked? Scrambled Wi-Fi.
- What did the telephone say at the end of a long day? “I’m ready to hang it up.”
- Why did the hipster phone switch to a rotary dial? Because touch screens were too mainstream.
- What do you call a group of smartphones taking a selfie? An insta-gang.
- Why did the phone go to therapy? Because it had a lot of call anxiety.
- What did the phone say to the charger? “You light up my life.”
- How does a phone apologize for a mistake? By sending a text-pology.
- Why did the phone need to go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
- What kind of dessert does a phone like? Apple pie.
- Why was the smartphone invited to the party? Because it was such a social butterfly.
- How does a phone keep its data safe? By using iChest encryption.
- Why did the phone break up with the calculator? They just didn’t have anything in common.
Disconnected and Distressed: Hilarious ‘Funny Phone’ One-Liner Jokes
- I’m trying to convince my phone to break up with me. It’s always calling the shots!
- My therapist said I need to let my phone call go to voicemail and reconnect with myself.
- If someone calls, ignore it. It’s probably just your phone trying to butter you up.
- I think my phone is a bit dyslexic, it keeps texting me that it loves soup and wants to eat my messages.
- Why did the phone go to therapy? Because it was constantly getting called out.
- I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet, but it’s okay, I was able to retrieve it with an app called Restroom Rescue.
- My phone and I have a love-hate relationship. It loves to ring at the most inconvenient times, but I hate answering it.
- I told my phone I wanted to break up and it replied, “I’m sorry, I can’t let you do that.”
- My phone has a really bad habit of pocket dialing, but at least it’s not a butt dial, it’s a back pocket dial.
- Why did the phone go to jail? It was caught having a ringtone that was off the hook!
- My phone is like a teenager – always begging for money, constantly overheating, and constantly fighting with me.
- I accidentally dropped my phone and now it has a shattered screen and a broken heart.
- My phone asked me to rate its performance, so I gave it one beep for terrible and two beeps for still terrible.
- What did the grape say when it was stepped on by a phone? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- If I had a dollar for every time my phone autocorrected something embarrassing, I’d be a very rich chicken.
- My phone just told me I have 0% battery left, but I still have 100% sass.
- I told Siri to call me Beyonce. Now every time I get a call, it’s like my own personal concert.
- My phone has a great sense of humor – it’s always making jokes about service and reception.
- Why did the phone go to school? To get smarter and learn how to give better coverage.
- My phone just broke up with me. It said it needed space but then went and got an upgrade.
Call Me Laugh-terer: QnA Jokes & Puns about Phones
- Q: Why did the phone need glasses? A: Because it lost all its contacts!
- Q: What do you call a phone that’s afraid of heights? A: A cellterroraphobe!
- Q: How do you make a phone laugh? A: Give it a ring!
- Q: What do you get when you cross a phone and a snowman? A: A cold caller!
- Q: What did the phone say to the computer? A: “I think you have a chip on your shoulder.”
- Q: What do you call a phone that’s been to outer space? A: An astronaut-communicator.
- Q: Why did the phone stop hanging out with the charger? A: Because it felt recharged!
- Q: Why did the phone go to the doctor? A: It had a case of roaming charges.
- Q: What’s a phone’s favorite dessert? A: Apple pie!
- Q: Why did the phone go to jail? A: It was caught picking pockets.
- Q: How do you know if a phone is shy? A: It keeps going on airplane mode.
- Q: What did the phone say to the pillow? A: “I’m feeling a little flat today.”
- Q: Why did the phone go on a diet? A: It was tired of getting thumb-sized!
- Q: How does a phone greet its friends? A: With a cordial tone.
- Q: What do you call a group of phones? A: A cell-ebration!
- Q: What did the phone say to the oven? A: “You’re looking hot, babe.”
- Q: How does a phone greet its crush? A: With a flirtatious ring.
- Q: Why did the phone go on strike? A: It was tired of being pressed all the time.
- Q: What did the phone say when it reached its data limit? A: “I’m feeling limited at the moment.”
- Q: Why did the phone fail math class? A: It couldn’t keep a straight wireless!
Connect with Humor: Dad Jokes about Phones
- Why did the phone go to bed early? Because it was feeling cellular fatigue.
- Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested? It was charged with battery.
- I dropped my phone in the toilet…but it’s okay, it’s a waterproof model. It’s just taking a refreshing dip.
- How does a phone greet its owner? With a “cell-om from the other side!”
- Why did the phone need glasses? Because it lost all its contacts.
- How did the phone propose to its charger? With a ringtone, of course!
- Did you hear about the angry phone and its charger? They had a real charged conversation.
- What do you call a phone that isn’t allowed to stay up late? A curfew-cable device.
- Why did the phone go to therapy? Because it had too many hang-ups.
- I accidentally sat on my phone…now it has a cracked-screen addiction.
- Did you know phones have their own Olympic sport? It’s called text-athlon.
- Why did the phone go to school? To get smarter cellular service.
- How does a phone stay in shape? By doing app-solutely nothing.
- Why couldn’t the phone see a therapist? Because it was always engaged.
- What’s a phone’s favorite genre of music? Soul.
- Why was the phone late for work? Because it had a long app-to-date with its charger.
- Did you hear about the phone that joined a band? It was the lead singer’s biggest fan.
- Why did the phone go to outer space? To get better reception.
- How does a phone get rid of a ghost? It calls the ghost-busters.
- Did you know phones have their own language? It’s called emoji-nese.
Ring up the Fun with These Hilarious Phone Puns & Jokes for Kids!
- Why did the phone go on a diet? Because it wanted to be “cell-u-lite”!
- What did the banana say to the phone? “Orange you glad we can communicate?”
- Why don’t skeletons make good cell phones? Because they have no body to hold onto!
- Why did the smartphone go back to school? To get a “cell-education”!
- What do you call a scary phone? An app-arition!
- What’s a phone’s favorite food? Call-a-mari!
- Why did the phone go to the doctor? Because it was feeling “un-cell-well”!
- What did one phone say to the other when they were arguing? “Don’t hang up on me!”
- How does a phone feel after a workout? “Well-connected”!
- Why was the turtle always on the phone? Because he was a “slow-caller”!
- What did the phone do when it got cold? It downloaded an app to keep it “chilled”!
- Why was the phone always in a rush? It had a lot of “cellular data” to share!
- What kind of phone do zombies use? A “cell-ibate” phone!
- Why was the phone always tired? It had been on “cell-ular standby” all day!
- What did one phone say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “I’m really ‘cell-phoned’ on you!”
- Why did the phone go into the kitchen? To make a “selfie-phone” call!
- What did the phone do for exercise? It went on a “cell-abration”!
- How does a phone introduce itself? “Hi, I’m tele-phone”!
- Why was the phone afraid to commit? Because it had “cell-f-doubt”!
- How does a phone make a mistake? By having a “cell-f-induced error”!
Ring, Ring! Hilarious Quotes About Our Beloved ‘Phone’ Addiction
- “My phone battery lasts longer than most relationships.”
- “I think my phone is possessed, it always knows when I’m procrastinating.”
- “If I had a dollar for every time my phone autocorrected to something inappropriate, I’d have enough money to buy a new phone.”
- “I don’t need a personal assistant, I have Siri.”
- “I have a love-hate relationship with my phone. I love it when it works, but hate it when it doesn’t.”
- “My phone is like my third arm, I feel naked without it.”
- “I wish I had a ‘don’t disturb’ mode for my phone, but for people.”
- “I may have a small screen, but at least I don’t have a big ego.”
- “My phone is like a detective, it always knows where I am.”
- “I never know if my phone is on silent or if everyone just stopped texting me.”
- “My phone is like my therapist, I pour my heart out to it and it never judges me.”
- “My phone is like a microwave, every few minutes I have to press a button to keep it going.”
- “Why call it a smartphone when it does all the thinking for us?”
- “My phone is like a vacuum, it sucks all my time away.”
- “I don’t need an alarm clock, my phone’s notifications are loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood.”
- “My phone and I have a ‘silent treatment’ agreement, it stays quiet when I need it to ring and rings when I need silence.”
- “I may have a thousand contacts in my phone, but I can only count on one hand the people I actually talk to.”
- “My phone’s storage is like a hotel room, there’s always one last thing I forgot to pack.”
- “Why does every app need access to my photos and contacts? Is Tinder trying to set me up with my own friends?”
- “I may have a fingerprint lock, but my phone still gets ‘hot and bothered’ in my pocket.”
Phone Follies: Hilarious Proverbs & Wise Sayings to Keep Your Calls Entertaining!
- “A phone call a day keeps the boredom away, but a phone call every five minutes is just plain annoying.”
- “A ringing phone is a bird that never rests, until the battery dies.”
- “A phone in hand is worth two in the bush, especially when you’re low on battery.”
- “A missed call is like a boomerang – it always comes back at the most inconvenient time.”
- “A smartphone in the hands of a monkey is a recipe for disaster.”
- “A smartphone’s battery life is like a roller coaster – it has its ups and downs.”
- “A phone on silent may keep the peace, but it also leads to missed calls and angry friends.”
- A phone with no service is like a zombie – it’s alive, but useless.
- “A phone call at the gym is a workout for your arm muscles as you try to hold it in place.”
- A phone without autocorrect is like a fish without water – it just doesn’t feel right.
- “A phone that drops calls is like a telemarketer – constantly interrupting your day.”
- “A phone on airplane mode is like a bird in a cage – temporarily silenced but still longing to fly.”
- “A phone with a cracked screen is like a human with a broken heart – still functioning, but a little bit damaged.”
- “A phone with a low battery is like a marathon runner at the finish line – just barely hanging on.”
- “A phone with unlimited data is like a bottomless cup of coffee – it’s hard to resist taking one more sip.”
- “A phone without a camera is like a pen without ink – not as useful as it could be.”
- “A phone with a dead battery is like a trust fall – you never know if it’ll catch you when you need it the most.”
- “A phone on vibrate is like a jack-in-the-box – always a surprise when it goes off.”
- “A missed call from your mom is like a ticking time bomb – you never know when she’ll explode with worry.”
- “A phone without Wi-Fi is like a car without gas – it’s not going anywhere.”
Get a ‘Ring’ out of Life with These ‘Phone’-tastic Double Entendres Puns!
- “I’m phone-ing in sick today, I must have caught a bad case of the dial-tone.”
- “Did you hear about the new phone app for ghosts? It’s called ‘iScream’.”
- “I tried to order a pizza over the phone, but all I got was a busy signal. Must be a crust-tastrophe.”
- “Sorry, I can’t talk right now. My phone reception is as reliable as a politician’s promises.”
- “Why was the cell phone so tired? Because it was up all night scrolling through Instagram.”
- “My phone just died, which means for the next hour I’ll have to think for myself. Scary stuff.”
- “My boss asked me why I was on my phone at work. I told them I was conducting a call-ference.”
- “I can’t live without my phone. It’s like oxygen, but with a QWERTY keyboard.”
- “I’m always so forgetful. I can never remember where I left my phone, wallet, or dignity.”
- “I know I spend too much time on my phone when I start getting keyboard face-lines.”
- “Why did the iPhone go to the doctor? Because it had a bad case of App-endicitis.”
- “I was trying to take a selfie on my phone, but every time I clicked the button, it made a flash-mob.”
- “I can’t answer the phone right now, I’m playing Candy Crush and it’s a crucial level.”
- “How does a telephone propose to its partner? With a ring-tone.”
- “I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. Now it’s all wet and I have to flush it out.”
- “I hate when someone calls me from their car, because it makes me feel like a drive-thru order.”
- “My phone’s wallpaper is a picture of money, so every time I use it, I’m making a cash call.”
- “Why did the smartphone need glasses? To improve its Wi-Fi.”
- “My phone app said I needed to walk 10,000 steps a day. So now I’ve just renamed my cat ‘Steps’.”
- “I’m starting a petition to make speakerphone the official mode of communication for all phone calls with your mom.”
Unleash Your Inner Comedian with these Hilarious Recursive Puns about Phone!
- Why did the phone go to therapy? Because it had a lot of unresolved calls.
- I had to take a break from my phone, it kept calling me names.
- Why did the phone need glasses? It was feeling a bit “portable.”
- I couldn’t find my phone, but then I called myself and it was ringing.
- Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything – including your phone.
- Why was the smartphone always tired? Because it was constantly scrolling.
- I tried to make a call with my shoelace, but it just ended up being a tangled conversation.
- What’s a phone’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good ring to it.
- Why did the cell phone break up with the landline? Because it was sick of being tied down.
- Why did the text message break up with the phone call? They just weren’t on the same frequency.
- I tried to take a selfie with my phone, but it just kept saying “camera error.”
- Why did the phone go to the therapist? Because it was experiencing a lot of dropped calls.
- My wallet is like a phone – constantly losing reception (money.)
- Who does a phone call when it’s in trouble? The ring-gers.
- What’s a phone’s favorite type of coffee? A Java call.
- I asked my phone for directions, but it just kept telling me to “recalculate.”
- Why did the smartphone cross the road? To get a better signal.
- I accidentally dropped my phone in the ocean, now it’s a shellphone.
- What did the rotary phone say to the iPhone? “You’re too touch-ey for me.”
- Why did the smartphone need therapy? It was experiencing a lot of screen time.
Phone-y Business: Knock-knock Jokes that Dial Up the Laughs
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting phone. Interrupting phon…beep beep beep!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alvin. Alvin who? Alvin your phone, I don’t think it’s working!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good apps on my phone.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Barry. Barry who? Barry the hatchet, my phone needs charging!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive my contacts are in my phone!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wendy. Wendy who? Wendy my phone bill be due?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter-mine why I didn’t answer your call!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hugo. Hugo who? Hugo and turn on your phone, it’s been off for hours!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rosie. Rosie who? Rosie you for not texting back!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Just-in time, my phone was about to die!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lila. Lila who? Lila bit longer and my phone charge will be done.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Zachary. Zachary who? Zachary checking my phone for any missed calls.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iva. Iva who? Iva lost all my contacts on my phone!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pierce. Pierce who? Pierce hold while I answer this phone call!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gigi. Gigi who? Gigi your phone back, I’m done using it.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Russell. Russell who? Russell up some more storage space on my phone!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Oliver. Oliver who? Oliver your phone calling me?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lionel. Lionel who? Lionel-later because my phone is on silent.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dora. Dora who? Dora day and haven’t charged my phone yet!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Skye. Skye who? Skye-high phone bills are not a laughing matter.
Dial up the Laughs with These Punny Phone Jokes!
Looks like we’ve officially reached the end of the line for our pun-tastic phone adventure. But don’t hang up just yet, there are plenty more hilarious jokes and puns to browse through in our other related posts. So go on, dial up some laughter and give your funny bone a call! Bye-cel-ent punning!