Welcome to the best list of drink puns and jokes that are guaranteed to quench your thirst for humor! Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, we’ve got the cleverest and funniest jokes for you. Get ready to laugh and spill your drink with these positively hilarious puns that will leave you asking for more. So grab your favorite drink and sip on these puns about beverages that are sure to make you the life of the party. Cheers to the perfect blend of humor and beverages!

Quench Your Thirst for Laughter with These Hilarious ‘Drink’ Puns & Jokes – Top Picks!

  1. Why did the beer go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling hoppy.
  2. Did you hear about the grape who was banned from the juice bar? He was feeling too fruity.
  3. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
  4. What did the wine say after a long day at work? I need to de-cork and unwind.
  5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  6. Did you hear about the coffee that was always getting into trouble? It was quite a mugshot.
  7. Why don’t oysters give to charity? They’re shellfish.
  8. How does a martini introduce himself? Olive my name is…
  9. Why did the soda go to therapy? It was having a lot of fizz-issues.
  10. What does a bartender do when someone asks for a martini with no ice? They just give them two shots of gin and a cold stare.
  11. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  12. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
  13. What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If we weren’t so sweet, we’d be in a jam.
  14. How do you make a water bed more bouncy? Add a spring of course!
  15. What does a grape do when it’s stepped on? It lets out a little wine.
  16. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  17. I asked the bartender for a double entendre. So he gave me one.
  18. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentickles!
  19. Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally.
  20. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized toucan play at that game.
funny Drink jokes and one liner clever Drink puns at PunnyPeak.com

Quench Your Thirst for Laughter with these Hilarious Drink One-Liner Jokes

  1. Why do bartenders make great math teachers? Because they can handle multiple spirits at once.
  2. I hate when my drink gets cold… Luckily, I have a cooler full of replacements.
  3. Did you hear about the guy who invented flavored water? He’s a real taste maker.
  4. What do you call an alcoholic’s drink of choice? Booze cruise.
  5. I’m not an alcoholic, I just have a drinking problem.
  6. What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear.
  7. Why doesn’t the moon drink? Because it’s always full.
  8. I used to have a fear of drinking too much ice cold water, but I’ve chilled out now.
  9. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  10. I’ll drink to that… And by that, I mean anything with alcohol in it.
  11. People say I should cut back on my drinking. They just don’t understand my liquid diet.
  12. What do you call a hen who likes to drink? A wine chick.
  13. I never finish my drinks. Alcohol and I just have a broken relationship.
  14. How many tequila shots does it take to forget your ex? Sorry, I forgot the answer.
  15. What do you call a well-dressed sir who has had a bit too much to drink? A suitor looter.
  16. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
  17. Did you hear about the guy who got locked in a grocery store? He had to drink his way out after hours.
  18. What do you call a martini with multiple personalities? A split personality drink.
  19. I’m not an alcoholic, I just enjoy my adult juice box every now and then.
  20. What did the grape say to the lemon? Sour grapes make for a great drink.

Sip your way through life with these hilarious Drink proverbs and wise sayings

  1. “I only drink to make my liver more resilient.”
  2. “A drink a day keeps the reality at bay.”
  3. “In wine there is wisdom, but in tequila there is truth.”
  4. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
  5. “Life is too short to drink cheap wine.”
  6. “A party without alcohol is just a meeting.”
  7. “Alcohol – because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.”
  8. “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”
  9. “I’m not an alcoholic, I’m just thirsty.”
  10. “Wine. How classy people get wasted.”
  11. “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine and that’s kind of the same thing.”
  12. “A hangover is God’s way of reminding you how much fun you had last night.”
  13. “I don’t always drink, but when I do, I prefer to be fabulous.”
  14. “Coffee keeps me going until it’s acceptable to drink wine.”
  15. “Wine improves with age, I improve with wine.”
  16. “I don’t need an excuse to drink, I need an excuse not to drink.”
  17. “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
  18. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.”
  19. “Drinking rum before 10 a.m. makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.”
  20. “A glass of whiskey a day keeps the doctor away, unless the doctor is cute, then screw the whiskey.”

Quench Your Thirst for Laughter with QnA Jokes & Puns about Drinks!

  1. Why couldn’t the grape go to the party? Because it was all smashed!
  2. How do you make a milkshake laugh? Give it a tickle in the dairy section!
  3. What is a ghost’s favorite drink? Ghoulish green juice!
  4. Why did the soda go to jail? It was guilty of excessive carbonation!
  5. What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
  6. Why was the coffee feeling down? Because it was depresso.
  7. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  8. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  9. What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  10. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  11. How do you make a lemon drop? Just give it a little push.
  12. What did the water say to the boat? Nothing, it just waved.
  13. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
  14. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
  15. What did the fish say when it swam into the wall? Dam!
  16. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
  17. What did one strawberry say to the other? If you weren’t so sweet, we wouldn’t be in this jam.
  18. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You follow the Fresh Prince tracks.
  19. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
  20. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.

Quench Your Thirst for Laughter with These Dad Jokes & Puns About Drink

  1. Why did the soda go to therapy? It was feeling a little flat.
  2. What do you call a bear that’s been out in the sun too long? A grizzled bear.
  3. Why was the coffee feeling depressed? It was feeling grounds down.
  4. How does a milkshake greet other milkshakes? By saying, “What’s shaking?”
  5. Why was the water feeling sad? Because it was in the depths of despair.
  6. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  7. What do you call an unhappy can of soda? A soda-sad.
  8. Did you hear about the grape juice factory that exploded? It was just twisted grapes.
  9. What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway.
  10. What did the coffee say to its creamer? “I-f-f-f you’re going to be my creamer, you’ve got to be stronger than that!”
  11. Why did the orange stop in the middle of the race? It ran out of juice.
  12. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every play has a cast.
  13. What do you call a sad cup of tea? A tea-pity.
  14. What did one cup say to the other cup? “You are my cup of tea!”
  15. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
  16. How do you know if your milk has gone bad? It starts to smell udderly terrible.
  17. What is the drink of choice for ghosts? Ghoul-aid.
  18. Did you hear about the cheese who went to a party? It ended up being the big cheese of the night.
  19. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
  20. Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his soda? It was all furzzled up.

Sip on these ‘Drink’ Double Entendres Puns for a tipsy tongue-in-cheek time

  1. “I like my whiskey like I like my women – strong and aged.”
  2. “I tried to make a martini, but it just ended up being a wine spritzer.”
  3. “Pouring out my heart to you over this bottle of wine.”
  4. “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.”
  5. “I only have one cocktail a day, but I let it last all night.”
  6. “I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a wine enthusiast.”
  7. “I may have a drinking problem, but I’m pretty sure it’s just a lack of refills.”
  8. “I’m not sure if my doctor told me to drink 8 glasses of water a day or 8 glasses of wine…”
  9. “That hangover is proof that my liver is working hard for me.”
  10. “I like my coffee how I like my men – strong, hot, and full-bodied.”
  11. “I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a staying sober problem.”
  12. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
  13. “I’m not drunk, I’m…uh…ahead of the curve.”
  14. “I don’t always drink, but when I do, I prefer it with friends.”
  15. “Alcohol is my liquid courage…until it becomes my liquid regret.”
  16. “I’m not sure if I’m chasing my dreams or just chasing shots at this point.”
  17. “I’ve been sober for an hour now…it’s a record for me.”
  18. “Tequila: turning good girls into bad decisions since 1519.”
  19. “I don’t need a reason to drink, but I will gladly accept any and all excuses.”
  20. “If wine is bottled poetry, alcohol must be liquid courage.”

Sipping on Witty Recursive Puns about Drinks

  1. Why was the soda afraid to open up? Because it was feeling pop-pressed.
  2. I can’t stop drinking coffee, it’s just my cup of tea.
  3. I tried to quit drinking, but it was a sobering experience.
  4. My friend told me I should drink more water, but I’m just not feeling it. Maybe I need to dip my toes in.
  5. I ordered a tea at the cafe, but it wasn’t very punny. It was just so-tea.
  6. My doctor told me to cut back on my alcohol intake, but I told him I was already well-rounded.
  7. My friend said he was taking a break from drinking, but I told him to tequila his time.
  8. I tried to drink a sip of ocean water, but it was just too saline for me.
  9. My new workout routine involves drinking wine while doing squats. I call it “Cabernet squats.”
  10. My favorite type of champagne is recursion. It’s always a bubbly good time.
  11. Why did the beer go to therapy? Because it had some serious ale-ments.
  12. I tried to make a cocktail using only ingredients from my backyard. I ended up with a basil-ically just vodka.
  13. My friend asked if I wanted some juice, but I told her I prefer ju-cider.
  14. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.
  15. My professor said that the best way to learn is by drinking knowledge. I prefer drinking wine, but I guess it’s just semantics.
  16. I asked the bartender for a long island iced tea, and he gave me a map. Apparently, I had to travel quite a distance for that one.
  17. What do you call an alligator that drinks alcohol? A gin-oceros.
  18. I tried to make a joke about drinking, but nobody laughed. I guess I’ll just have to wine and bear it.
  19. I told my friend to stop drinking coffee, it was making him hyper. He told me he was just trying to espresso his feelings.
  20. Why are there no coffee shops in the North Pole? Because they all prefer hot cocoa.

Quench Your Thirst for Laughter with These Hilarious Drink Juxtaposition Jokes

  1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  2. I told my dad to embrace his mistakes… he cried and hugged me instead.
  3. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  4. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. I just can’t seem to put it down.
  5. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To speak to the other side.
  6. I refused to believe my road to success was on a treadmill.
  7. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
  8. My dad thought it was a great idea to clone a car… but it was a bad copy-car.
  9. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.
  10. How do you organize a space party? Planet ahead.
  11. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
  12. I used to sell watches, but I ran out of time.
  13. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool.
  14. I’m trying to make a belt out of watches, but it’s a waist of time.
  15. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.
  16. Can February March? No, but April May!
  17. My boss told me I should dress for the job I want, not the one I have. Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
  18. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  19. I always feel bad for laughing at blind people jokes… I just can’t see myself stopping.
  20. My doctor recommended Vitamin D supplements… so I added a little gin and tonic to my daily routine.

Don’t Spill the Tease: Hilariously Misused ‘Drink’ Malapropisms

  1. A fine glass of whining instead of wine
  2. A shot of vodkabulary instead of vocabulary
  3. A tall glass of coffee instead of courage
  4. Taking a sip of mortification instead of medication
  5. A pint of toe-may-toe juice instead of tomato juice
  6. A swig of doo-drool instead of dew-drops
  7. Ordering a margarita-blind instead of margarita-blend
  8. Drinking a cup of cat-achino instead of cappuccino
  9. A flask of lumbering instead of rumbling
  10. Sipping on semantic-water instead of seltzer-water
  11. Savoring a glass of sequent wine instead of Sauvignon Blanc
  12. Gulping down some etymology juice instead of lemonade
  13. Chugging a bottle of motley-ool instead of Martini pool
  14. A glass of gobbledygook instead of Gatorade
  15. Sipping on some propaganda instead of Prosecco
  16. Ordering a glass of blubber instead of bubbly
  17. A shot of euchre instead of scotch
  18. Taking a gulp of mumbo-jumbo juice instead of mango juice
  19. A sip of squabbing instead of sparkling water
  20. Savoring a bottle of epileptic wine instead of Cabernet Sauvignon.

Sip on these clever ‘Drink’ Tom Swifties for a pun-ch of entertainment!

  1. “I’ll have a vodka martini,” Tom said dryly.
  2. “I don’t really feel like drinking tonight,” Tom said soberly.
  3. “I’ll take a shot of tequila,” Tom said spiritedly.
  4. “This beer tastes terrible,” Tom said pilsnerly.
  5. “I’ll have a glass of wine,” Tom said Bordeauxly.
  6. “I can’t handle another drink,” Tom said tipsily.
  7. “Make me a Moscow Mule,” Tom said Russianly.
  8. “I could use a drink after that long day,” Tom said tiredly.
  9. “I’ll have a non-alcoholic beverage,” Tom said mockingly.
  10. “I’m not a fan of the taste of gin,” Tom said sarcastically.
  11. “I’ll have another round,” Tom said repeatedly.
  12. “I prefer my drinks on the rocks,” Tom said icily.
  13. “I’ll have a mixed drink,” Tom said evenly.
  14. “I’ll take a swig of whiskey,” Tom said burly.
  15. “I think I’ll pass on the beer,” Tom said lageringly.
  16. “I’ll just stick to water tonight,” Tom said fluidly.
  17. “I’m feeling quite buzzed,” Tom said beeishly.
  18. “I could use a pick-me-up,” Tom said vigorously.
  19. “I’ll have a Mai Tai,” Tom said tropically.
  20. “I’ll drink to that,” Tom said cheerfully.

Don’t Drown in Laughter: Hilarious Spoonerisms about a Drink

  1. “Punch Blop” instead of “Bunch Plop”
  2. “Wino Babe” instead of “Bino Wabe”
  3. “Lager Mancer” instead of “Magar Lancer”
  4. “Martini Brunch” instead of “Bratini Munch”
  5. “Vodka Brock” instead of “Bodka Vrock”
  6. “Tequila Wreck” instead of “Wequila Treck”
  7. “Beer Goggles” instead of “Geer Boggles”
  8. “Cider Rider” instead of “Rider Cider”
  9. “Gin Tonic” instead of “Tin Gonic”
  10. “Rum Joke” instead of “Jum Roke”
  11. “Sipping Mort” instead of “Mipping Sort”
  12. “Whiskey Flip” instead of “Fhiskey Wlip”
  13. “Champagne Pain” instead of “Pampagne Chain”
  14. “Soda Wine” instead of “Woda Sine”
  15. “Brandy Bandit” instead of “Bandy Brandit”
  16. “Margarita Crisis” instead of “Crargarita Misis”
  17. “Moonshine Croon” instead of “Coonshine Mroon”
  18. “Mimosa Mess” instead of “Misoma Memos”
  19. “Ale Trail” instead of “Tail Eale”
  20. “Cocktail Troubles” instead of “Tocktail Croubles”

Quench Your Thirst for Laughter with these Knock-knock Jokes about Drink

  1. Knock knock. Who’s there? Booze. Booze who? Booze your best friend, let me in!
  2. Knock knock. Who’s there? Cider. Cider who? Ciderella, now let’s go to the ball!
  3. Knock knock. Who’s there? Tequila. Tequila who? Tequila mockingbird, cheers!
  4. Knock knock. Who’s there? Martini. Martini who? Martini glass, let’s shake things up!
  5. Knock knock. Who’s there? Whiskey. Whiskey who? Whiskey business, I’ll drink to that!
  6. Knock knock. Who’s there? Vodka. Vodka who? Vodka lot of drinks today?
  7. Knock knock. Who’s there? Gin. Gin who? Gin and Tonic, please!
  8. Knock knock. Who’s there? Rum. Rum who? Rum away with me!
  9. Knock knock. Who’s there? Wine. Wine who? Wine not have another glass?
  10. Knock knock. Who’s there? Beer. Beer who? Beer me, I’m thirsty!
  11. Knock knock. Who’s there? Champagne. Champagne who? Champagne supernova, let’s celebrate!
  12. Knock knock. Who’s there? Margarita. Margarita who? Margarita-ville, here I come!
  13. Knock knock. Who’s there? Shot. Shot who? Shots, shots, shots for everyone!
  14. Knock knock. Who’s there? Pinot. Pinot who? Pinot Noir-shing to see you!
  15. Knock knock. Who’s there? Cognac. Cognac who? Cognac-ulations, you’re funny!
  16. Knock knock. Who’s there? Absinthe. Absinthe who? Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
  17. Knock knock. Who’s there? Scotch. Scotch who? Scotch me a dance, will you?
  18. Knock knock. Who’s there? Mai Tai. Mai Tai who? Mai Tai you a drink!
  19. Knock knock. Who’s there? Brandy. Brandy who? Brandy old-fashioned, please!
  20. Knock knock. Who’s there? Prosecco. Prosecco who? Prosecco-ap, it’s time to party!

Sip, Sip, Hooray! Time to Cheers and Leave.

Well folks, after reading all 220+ jokes about drink, I hope you’re feeling a little more “spirited” and ready to raise your glass to some good laughs. But don’t stop here, there’s plenty more where that came from in our other related puns and joke posts. So pour yourself a drink and keep the jokes flowing. Cheers to the humor and cheers to you!

Ahmad Raza

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

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