Welcome to the best collection of shirt puns and jokes that are guaranteed to make you and your kids laugh! From clever play on words to positively hilarious one-liners, this list has got it all. Whether you’re looking for a dose of humor or just need some material for your next dad joke, we’ve got you covered. So grab your favorite shirt and get ready to crack up with these funny puns about shirts! Beware: you might end up with a new shirt slogan by the end of this post. Let’s check them out!
Rock Your Wardrobe with these ‘Shirt’-acular Puns & Jokes – Our Top Picks!
- “Don’t be such a button-down, let loose and wear a funny shirt!”
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right – it says so on my t-shirt.”
- “I have a closet full of ‘ironic’ t-shirts, but I still can’t figure out the irony.”
- “Why did the t-shirt go to college? To get degree’d.”
- “What do you call a shirt that becomes a hat? A cap-tee.”
- “I don’t always wear a t-shirt, but when I do, it’s hilarious.”
- “My Hawaiian shirt has been stuck in a pun for the past 10 years – aloha forever.”
- Just like wine, my t-shirts only get better with age.
- “I’m not bossy, I just have leadership skills – as evident by my ‘Boss’ t-shirt.”
- “I was going to buy a t-shirt with a joke on it, but then I figured it was too punny.”
- “I may not be a genie, but I can make your shirt wishes come true.”
- “I like my t-shirts how I like my jokes – crumpled up and full of wrinkles.”
- “Why is it called a t-shirt? Because you can’t wear it for longer than a day without washing. Duh.”
- “I may be a plain white t-shirt, but I’m cool like that.”
- “I have a lot of graphic t-shirts, but my favorite one says ‘Allergic to Mondays’.”
- “I don’t always wear superhero shirts, but when I do, I save the day (or at least look like I could).”
- “I’m not just a pretty face, I also have a collection of awesomely funny shirts.”
- “Why did the t-shirt cross the road? To get to the pun factory on the other side.”
- “I have two types of t-shirts in my closet – funny and funnier.”
- “I dress to impress – my t-shirt collection, that is.”
Button Up for Hilarious Humor: Shirt One-Liner Jokes
- “I used to hate wearing shirts with slogans, but now they’re growing on me.”
- “I have a shirt that has a picture of a roll of duct tape on it. It’s my favorite tee.”
- “My friend keeps telling me to iron my shirt, but I don’t see the point. I prefer my clothes with a little wrinkle.”
- “Some people say I have a shirt addiction, but I prefer to call it a shirt collection.”
- “Why did the shirt go to therapy? It had too many wrinkles.”
- “I tried to make a shirt out of popsicle sticks, but it was a failed craft-t-shirt-man-ship.”
- “My doctor just told me I have shirt-sleeve elbow. I better get some longer tees.”
- “I always wear a shirt when I use a chainsaw. Safety first!”
- I used to work at a shirt factory, but I quit because the work was too buttoned-up for me.
- “Why did the t-shirt need an attorney? It had a sleeve through its arm.”
- “I went on a date with a shirt, but it left me hanging. It was a total let-down.”
- “My shirt has perforations for easy tearing. It’s a tearable shirt.”
- Did you hear about the guy who stole an iron from the store while wearing a shirt with the word ‘robber’ on it? Talk about ironic.”
- “I tried to sign up for a new shirt app, but it kept telling me I already had an account. Turns out I was already subscribed to T-Shirt Weekly.”
- “I used to be afraid of my dryer shrinking my shirts, but now I’m just afraid of my shirts shrinking on their own.”
- “My friend asked me why I carry around a ruler. I told him, “You never know when you might need to measure up your shirts.”
- “What do you call a shirt that has been in a desert for too long? A sand tee.”
- “I can never remember if I put deodorant on, so I just write ‘D’ on my shirt cuff as a reminder.”
- “Why couldn’t the shirt play hide and seek? It was always getting buttoned-up in the closet.”
- “My doctor told me I needed more iron in my diet, so I started eating my t-shirts. I still need to work on my chewing skills.”
Shirt-witted: Hilarious Proverbs and Clever Sayings for Fashionistas
- A bad shirt can make a man look like a walking laundry pile.
- “A clean shirt is the foundation of a good first impression.”
- “A wrinkled shirt is just a portable ironing board.”
- “A shirt with missing buttons is like a puzzle with no solution.”
- “A shirt with a missing button is like a sentence without a period”
- “You can tell a lot about a person by the stains on their shirt.”
- “A shirt is like a superhero costume, it gives us confidence.”
- “A shirt that fits just right is a rare and beautiful thing.”
- “A stylish shirt can make you feel like the most interesting person in the room.”
- “A worn-out shirt is like a best friend, comfortable and familiar.”
- “A man with a good sense of humor and a clean shirt is irresistible.”
- “A shirt without wrinkles is a sign of a well-organized individual.”
- “A shirt with a witty quote is like a billboard for your personality.”
- “A red shirt is like a bullseye for spaghetti sauce.”
- “A shirt with cats on it makes a statement: I am both fancy and fun.”
- “A shirt is like a sandwich, the better the quality, the better the experience.”
- “A busy shirt is a great camouflage for spills and stains.”
- “A white shirt is the blank canvas for all of life’s unexpected spills and stains.”
- “There’s no such thing as too many shirts, just not enough closet space.”
- “A shirt with a clever pun is like a hidden inside joke just waiting to be discovered.”
QnA Jokes & Puns: The Ultimate Guide to Buttoning Up Laughter with ‘Shirt’ Humor!
- Q: What does a shirt say when it gets angry? A: “I’m going to lose my button!”
- Q: How did the shirt get hired at the job interview? A: Because it was well-pressed.
- Q: Why did the shirt go to the doctor’s office? A: It had a lot of wrinkles.
- Q: What’s a shirt’s favorite type of music? A: Poplin.
- Q: Did you hear about the shirt that went on a diet? A: It wanted to be a lean, mean, shirt-wearing machine.
- Q: What’s a shirt’s favorite type of restaurant? A: A button-down.
- Q: What did the shirt say to the pants? A: “I’ve got you covered.”
- Q: Why did the shirt go to see a therapist? A: It had too many issues.
- Q: Why did the shirt go to the library? A: To get some sleeve-reading done.
- Q: How does a shirt introduce itself? A: “Hi, I’m a button-up shirt.”
- Q: What’s a shirt’s favorite type of book? A: A best-seller.
- Q: Why did the shirt feel cold? A: It forgot its coat.
- Q: What did one shirt say to another shirt? A: “I like your sleeve style.”
- Q: Why did the shirt cross the road? A: To get to the laundromat.
- Q: What’s a shirt’s favorite animal? A: A button-fly.
- Q: Why couldn’t the shirt be a detective? A: It didn’t have any collar-ation skills.
- Q: Why did the shirt skip its workout? A: It didn’t want to sweat through its clothes.
- Q: What did the shirt say when it was asked to join a band? A: “Sorry, I’m already part of a well-pressed ensemble.”
- Q: What’s a shirt’s favorite holiday? A: Boxing Day.
- Q: Why did the shirt go to the beach? A: To catch some waves.
Shirt Shenanigans: Hilarious Dad Jokes & Puns Unfolded!
- Why did the shirt go to therapy? Because it was feeling wrinkled.
- What do you call a shirt that is always lying? A polo-tician.
- What kind of shirt does a ghost wear? A boo-tie.
- Why did the shirt break up with its girlfriend? She wasn’t his type.
- What did the shirt say to the pants? I’ve got you covered.
- How does a shirt greet its friends? With a hi-collar.
- I have a great joke about a shirt, but I don’t want to buttonhole you.
- Why was the shirt always at the gym? It was trying to get ripped.
- How does a shirt get into the Olympics? It tries on a sprinter’s pants.
- Why did the shirt go to the tailor? It was feeling a little ruffled.
- What do you call a shirt that can’t hear? Deaf-initely.
- Why can’t a shirt hold down a steady job? Because it keeps getting collar ID.
- How do shirts stay in shape? They have a well-ventilated wardrobe.
- I asked my shirt if it wanted to go out, but it said it was busy hanging out.
- Why did the shirt cross the road? To get to the fabric store.
- What do you call a shirt that is always cold? A shiver-yo-timbers.
- Did you hear about the scandalous shirt? It was caught with its buttons undone.
- Why did the shirt need directions? It’s a little shirt-sighted.
- Did you hear about the fight between the shirt and the jacket? It was a tie.
- What do you call a shirt that loves puns? A wisecracking button-up.
Shake Up Your Wardrobe with these ‘Shirt’ Double Entendres Puns
- “I’m not a player, I just crush a lot.”
- “Warning: objects on this shirt are hotter than they appear.”
- “I’m just here for the free t-shirts.”
- “Shirtty things happen when I wear this.”
- “My shirt has a PhD in sarcasm.”
- “This shirt doubles as a pick-up line.”
- “I’m with shirt.”
- “I like cats, pizza, and not wearing pants.”
- “My shirt has trust issues, it always says ‘I don’t trust anyone’.”
- “If at first you don’t succeed, try a different shirt.”
- “I’m a lover, not a launderer.”
- “Caution: I may spontaneously break into song.”
- “I can’t adult today, I need a nap.”
- “This shirt knows all my secrets.”
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately explaining why I’m right.”
- “I’m not short, I’m just vertically challenged.”
- “I can’t adult now, I have to adult later.”
- “Some superheroes wear capes, mine wears a plain white tee.”
- “I listen to bands that don’t even exist yet.”
- “My shirt has a built-in dad joke generator.”
Shirt-astic Wordplay: Recurring Jokes for Wardrobe Enthusiasts
- What did the shirt say when it got a hole? “I’m un-thread-ing!”
- I wouldn’t recommend wearing a wrinkled shirt, it’s a real iron-y.
- Why couldn’t the shirt decide which color to wear? It was too dyed-prated.
- Sorry, I couldn’t go to the party, I was busy sleeve-ing my troubles.
- A shirt walked into a bar…and got collared for being out past curfew.
- I don’t trust people who only wear half a shirt, they seem a little one-sided.
- The tailor told me my shirt would cost an arm and a leg, but I didn’t think he’d take it literally.
- Did you hear about the shirt who dated a zipper? It was a zipless romance.
- I wanted to start a business selling shirts, but it just wasn’t my cloth.
- Why was the shirt afraid of the wardrobe? It heard there was a hanger-ing monster inside.
- My shirt has been through a lot, it’s been washed, worn, and even pre-stressed.
- What did the shirt say when it saw its sleeves were missing? “This was an armless mistake!”
- Nothing ruins a shirt faster than an argument with a stubborn stain.
- Did you know the inventor of the button-down shirt was a real pioneer? He really blazed a trail.
- I tried to wash my shirt with some detergent, but it just made me feel tide down.
- Why did the shirt go to therapy? It had a lot of emotional baggage.
- A shirt’s favorite game is “Hide and Sneak” – it’s always trying to blend in.
- I don’t trust shirts that have extra buttons, they seem a little too on-button-trol.
- My shirt has a lot of attitude, it’s always giving me the cold shoulder.
- You have to be careful when buying a used shirt, you never know what kind of dirty laundry it may have.
Shirt Smirks: Mastering Juxtaposition Jokes in Style
- Why did the t-shirt file for divorce? Because its jeans were too tight!
- I just saw a shirt that said “I’m with stupid” with an arrow pointing to a picture of a platypus.
- My shirt has a built-in sunscreen…it’s SPF-tee!
- I bought a shirt with a map of the world on it, but now I can’t wear it because it doesn’t fit anywhere.
- I saw a shirt that said “I’m on a seafood diet…I see food and I eat it!”
- Did you hear about the t-shirt that went to therapy? It had some deep issues.
- My shirt is feeling a little overwhelmed, it’s having a t-‘asseaux’ moment.
- I just had to return my new shirt…it was too tight around the pocket!
- My friend’s shirt says “No pain, no gain”…but he always skips leg day.
- So, a shirt walks into a bar and the bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve clothing here.” The shirt replied, “That’s okay, I’m not really a tee either.”
- My shirt is getting a little too tight, I guess I shouldn’t have fed it after midnight.
- I saw someone wearing a shirt that said “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” Yeah, good luck with that.
- Why did the shirt cross the road? To get to the laundry on the other side.
- I have a shirt that says “Keep calm and carry-on”…but every time I wear it, I forget to take it off at the TSA checkpoint.
- My t-shirt collection has been steadily growing…it’s becoming my tee-shirt-arepillar!
- I saw a shirt that said “I’m a lover, not a fighter” but then I noticed it was wearing brass knuckles.
- Why did the shirt go to the doctor? It had a really bad case of thread-idual personality disorder.
- My shirt is really demanding, it always wants to be the center of a-tent-tion.
- I bought a shirt with a picture of a tree and the caption “It’s fall, y’all!”…but then I realized it’s winter and now I can’t wear it for a few more months.
- Did you hear about the t-shirt that became a detective? Yeah, it was always good at getting to the bottom of things.
Shirt Happens: Hilarious Malapropisms to Make You Chuckle
- Shart: Instead of shirt, you accidentally say “shart,” which means accidentally passing gas while trying to fart.
- Shrimp: This malapropism turns shirt into shrimp, leading to confusion and possibly a craving for seafood.
- Shirk: Saying “shirk” instead of “shirt” could lead to accusations of laziness or avoidance.
- Skirt: A classic mix-up, saying “skirt” instead of “shirt” could lead to some wardrobe malfunctions.
- Short: This malapropism could cause some confusion, especially if someone is talking about their height.
- Sherbet: Substituting “sherbet” for “shirt” could lead to some sticky situations.
- Shave: Saying “shave” instead of “shirt” might lead to some unwanted hair removal attempts.
- Shark: This mix-up could lead to some fears of being attacked by a scary sea creature.
- Sharted: Saying “shirted” instead of “sharted” could lead to some awkward and embarrassing situations.
- Sugar: This malapropism could lead to some confusing sweet talk.
- Shirttail: Instead of “shirttail,” you accidentally say “sharktail,” causing some confusion and possibly a craving for a fish’s posterior.
- Shoe: This mistake could lead to some foot fashion faux pas.
- Shorty: Mixing up “shorty” and “shirt” could lead to some interesting nicknames.
- Sheriff: Saying “sheriff” instead of “shirt” could lead to some confusion and possibly a run-in with the law.
- Shy: This could result in some awkward social encounters, as people may think you are saying you are feeling timid or bashful.
- Shepherd: Instead of “shirt,” you say “shepherd,” resulting in some amusing images of a sheep herder’s attire.
- Shipment: This could lead to some confusion if you were supposed to be discussing clothing and suddenly start talking about goods being transported.
- Shirtless: This mix-up could result in some unexpected shirtlessness.
- Shrimp-ment: This funny malapropism combines shirt with shipment, resulting in a delivery of tiny seafood.
- Chirp: Instead of “shirt,” you accidentally say “chirp,” causing some confusion and possibly a few bird-like noises.
Tom Swifties Find the Perfect Fit for Shirt-wearing Shenanigans!
- “I can’t wait to wear my new ‘shirt’,” Tom said without any sleeves.
- “This ‘shirt’ is so fashionable,” Tom said with a collar that was clearly out of style.
- “I think I’ll iron this ‘shirt’ before I wear it,” Tom pressed on with enthusiasm.
- “I can’t believe I spilled ketchup on my favorite ‘shirt’,” Tom red-faced.
- “I never wear anything but a ‘shirt’,” Tom said stark naked.
- “This ‘shirt’ is perfect for any occasion,” Tom said with a loud Hawaiian print.
- “I hope this ‘shirt’ doesn’t shrink in the wash,” Tom said with a worried wrinkle.
- “I love the feel of this ‘shirt’ against my skin,” Tom said in his softest tone.
- “This ‘shirt’ is a real conversation starter,” Tom said, pointing to a bold graphic tee with a questionable message.
- “I’m going to take this ‘shirt’ off,” Tom said, taking off a button-up shirt and revealing a Superman costume underneath.
- “I wish I could find a ‘shirt’ that fits me perfectly,” Tom said with a shrug, as he was wearing a shirt two sizes too small.
- “Nothing can tear us apart,” Tom said with a shirt that had a ripped seam.
- “I think this ‘shirt’ really brings out my eyes,” Tom said while wearing a neon green shirt.
- “Looks like it’s going to rain,” Tom said with a ‘shirt’ of clouds and umbrellas print.
- “I always dress to impress,” Tom said, wearing a shirt covered in portraits of famous dictators.
- “I need a ‘shirt’ for the beach,” Tom said, looking at a shirt with a giant sun on it.
- “I never tuck in my ‘shirt’,” Tom said, wearing a giant t-shirt that reached his knees.
- “This ‘shirt’ really makes a statement,” Tom said, wearing a shirt with a giant exclamation mark on it.
- “I’ll never go out in public without my ‘shirt’,” Tom said, revealing a shirt with a giant cheeseburger stain.
- “I’m feeling a little chilly,” Tom shivered, wearing a shirt with holes all over it.
Quick Quips: Hilarious Spoonerisms about Shirts!
- “Shitty Rirt”
- “Burt Shirt”
- “Shirt Spurt”
- “Shattered Short”
- “Hurt Shive”
- “Flirty Shirt”
- “Shark Skirt”
- “Skirt Shot”
- “Fart Shroom”
- “Shirt Sharkle”
- “Shirt Shopping”
- “Button Shasher”
- “Shirt Region”
- “Shirt Slippy”
- “Shirt Fribbet”
- “Sticky Skirt”
- “Shirt Chatter”
- “Short Shirt”
- “Shirting Skettles”
- “Shirt Socks”
Unbutton the Laughter with These Knock-Knock Jokes About Shirts
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt happens, right?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I’m not a shirt?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows. Cows who? Cows go moo, but shirts go wear.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clumsy. Clumsy who? Clumsy your shirt?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow reason to wear a shirt today.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nana. Nana who? Nana your business what shirt I’m wearing.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Beets. Beets who? Beets me why your shirt is so bright.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? Cash me outside, how ’bout Shirty?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owl. Owl who? Owl be needing a new shirt soon.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Drunken. Drunken who? Drunken shirt, help me out.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hatch. Hatch who? Hatch you wearing under your shirt?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? Europe, I’ll snatch your shirt.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? I doughnut see a shirt on you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apollo. Apollo who? Apollo-gize for not liking your shirt.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Aww, don’t cry, your shirt is fine.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Etch. Etch who? Etch-a-sketch your shirt design?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yacht. Yacht who? Yacht to be wearing a shirt, mate.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sinatra. Sinatra who? I did it my way, with this shirt.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goliath. Goliath who? Goliath a great shirt you got on.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hawaii. Hawaii who? Hawaii-y’d still wear a shirt indoors?
Folding up with laughter: the shirt pun-demic!
Well, we hope these jokes about shirts have tickled your funny bone and made you burst with laughter! Trust us, they’re not too ‘buttoned-up’! If you still can’t get enough of puns and jokes, then make sure to check out our other posts, such as ‘101 Jokes About Socks’ and ’50 Punny Jokes about Pants’. Now go forth and spread the fabric of laughter with your friends!