Are you ready to tie the knot? Well, get ready to laugh your way down the aisle with these hilarious wedding puns! Get ready to say ‘I do’ to the best marriage jokes, cleverly crafted to make you chuckle. From cheesy one-liners to witty wordplay, this list of wedding puns is guaranteed to bring out the humor in your ‘happily ever after.’ So put on your best wedding attire and get ready to say ‘I thee LOL’ with this list of puns about weddings!
For Better or ‘Wurst’ – Editor’s Picks of ‘Wedding Puns’ and Jokes!
- “Why did the wedding cake go to the doctor? Because it had a lot of tiers!”
- I wanted to make a toast to the newlyweds, but I’m afraid I’m running out of brides.
- “Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”
- “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.”
- “My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”
- “Why did the bride run away on her wedding day? She got cold feet!”
- “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
- Why did the bride and groom walk down the aisle to the tune of ‘Love is in the air? Because they didn’t want to take any chances with ‘Another one bites the dust.'”
- “I was going to get married, but I took an arrow to the knee.”
- “Why is a wedding cake like a smartphone? They both come with a lot of apps!”
- “Why was the bride crying on her wedding day? She got cold feet…and it was snowing!”
- “Marriage is like a workshop. The husband works and the wife shops.”
- “I finally found Mr. Right, but I didn’t know his first name was Always.”
- “Love may be patient, but marriage is always putting one’s patience to the test.”
- “Why did the bride’s father give her away? Because she was getting married, of course!”
- “Being married is like having a best friend who doesn’t remember anything you say.”
- “Why did the wedding photographer get arrested? For shooting the newlyweds.”
- “I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary and she said, ‘Take me somewhere expensive.’ So I took her to the gas station.”
- “Marriage is like a game of chess. One wrong move and you end up surrounded by family.”
- “At a wedding, the bride and groom were asked, ‘What’s the key to making a marriage last?’ The groom replied, ‘I just nod and say yes, dear.'”
Tying the Knot with a Side of Knot-ty Humor
- Why couldn’t the bicycle get married? Because it was two-tired.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Marriage is like a walk in the park…Jurassic Park.
- My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
- I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure after getting married.
- Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
- My wife says we have nothing in common. I disagree, we both love dogs.
- My wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.
- My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
- Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
- My wife asked me if I wanted to hear a joke about a piece of paper. I said nevermind, it’s tearable.
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
- Wife: I want to make a toast to our marriage. Husband: To our toaster?
- Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
- I love being married. It’s great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- A man doesn’t know what he wants until he gets married. Then he knows exactly what he wants…to get unmarried.
- My wife is a magician. Every time she makes me mad, she disappears.
- Why do they call it a “wedding cake”? Because “marriage mistake” was already taken.
- My wife and I were happy for 20 years…then we met.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Knot Your Average Wedding QnA: Hilarious Jokes & Puns to Tie the Knot with Laughter!
- Q: Why did the wedding cake go to the doctor? A: Because it was feeling tiered!
- Q: What do you call a group of musicians at a wedding? A: A bridal chorus line!
- Q: What do you call a wedding during a thunderstorm? A: A rain-gagement!
- Q: Why did the bride’s bouquet say “run” on it? A: Because the groom is always chasing her!
- Q: What do you call a nervous bride? A: A jitterbride!
- Q: Did you hear about the angry baker who ruined a wedding cake? A: He really took the cake!
- Q: What did the wedding crasher say when he was caught? A: “I just wanted a piece of the action!”
- Q: Why did the bride not want a traditional wedding? A: She didn’t want to face the music!
- Q: What do you call a group of bridesmaids trying to catch the bouquet? A: A bouquet-ful of single ladies!
- Q: Who is a bride’s favorite musician? A: Beyon-say-I-do!
- Q: Why did the groom’s grandmother put a pickle in her shoe? A: It’s an old tradition for good luck, but now her feet are dill-ing with pain!
- Q: What did the cake say to the newlyweds? A: “You two are the sweetest couple I’ve ever seen!”
- Q: How does a pirate propose? A: He says, “Aye do!”
- Q: What did the mother of the bride say when she saw her daughter in her wedding dress? A: “You look like a million bucks…that we just spent!”
- Q: Who brings the tambourine to a wedding? A: The bride’s drummermaid!
- Q: What did the groom say to his bride on their wedding day? A: “I’m ready for my ball and chain!”
- Q: Why did the groom wear a kilt to his wedding? A: Because a Scotsman always says “I do” in plaid!
- Q: How many bridesmaids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None, they’re too busy getting their hair and makeup done!
- Q: What’s the difference between a bride and a microphone? A: One gives speeches, the other gives kisses!
- Q: Did you hear about the wedding at the fire station? A: It was lit!
Here Comes the Funny Bride: Hilarious Wedding Proverbs & Wildly Wise Sayings!
- “A wedding without a bridezilla is like a cake without frosting: bland and uneventful.”
- “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, it’s all hearts and diamonds. But after a while, all you’re left with is the jokers.”
- “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person…or their bank account.”
- Walking down the aisle is like walking into a never-ending game of ‘who wore it better.’
- “Love may be blind, but marriage will open your eyes real quick.”
- “The only time a woman is truly speechless is when she’s walking down the aisle.”
- “Choosing your in-laws is like playing a game of Russian roulette, except there’s no winning.”
- “Marrying for love is like buying a house without ever seeing it. You might get lucky, but you could also end up with a fixer-upper.”
- The key to a happy marriage is simple: just remember to always let her have the last word – it’s usually ‘sorry.’
- “As you exchange your rings, just remember that in marriage, the wedding band goes on the finger and the wedding band goes on the wallet.”
- “Before you say ‘I do,’ just know that ‘do’ is a three-letter word, but so is ‘tax’.”
- “Tying the knot is like joining a new gym – it’s exciting at first, but it eventually becomes an expensive, never-ending commitment.”
- “Bride: a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Groom: a man having the same.”
- “Confucius says: the key to a happy marriage is to always forgive your spouse’s cooking.”
- “Marriage is like a walk in the park…Jurassic Park.”
- “For better or for worse, but let’s be honest, mostly for worse.”
- “Marriage is a three-ring circus: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”
- “Love may be patient and kind, but marriage is the ultimate test of patience and a never-ending battle of wills.”
- “Behind every successful marriage is a man who quickly learned to apologize and a woman who learned to pretend she didn’t hear him.”
- “The key to a happy marriage is to always keep your spouse guessing…and the secret to long-lasting happiness is to never let them figure you out.”
Knot” Your Average “Pun”ny: Hilarious “Hitched” “Hip”ster “Hums” at the “Altar” of “Dad” Jokes.
- I told my wife I was going to make a speech at the wedding, but she said it would be better if I didn’t toast.
- Why was the wedding cake so expensive? Because it had a lot of tiers.
- I asked the DJ if he could play the electric slide at the wedding… he said he didn’t know how to use PowerPoint.
- I told my son-in-law he should always carry a spare suit at the wedding. You never know when someone might ask for his hand in marriage.
- They say marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
- I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure… because my daughter is getting married.
- Someone asked me if I was excited for my daughter’s wedding… I said, “Of course, it’s going to be knot-ty.”
- I hired a limo for the wedding, but the company sent me a hearses… They said it was a fair trade.
- Did you hear about the two cell phones that got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was amazing.
- When I asked my wife what she wanted as an anniversary gift, she said she wanted something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in seconds… So, I got her a weighing scale.
- Why did the bride refuse to toss the bouquet at her wedding? She didn’t want one of her friends to catch it and get married before her.
- My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
- What do you call a nosy pepper at a wedding? Jalapeño business.
- I wanted to give a toast at the wedding, but my wife said it would be too cheesy.
- I told the groom he shouldn’t marry the best man… He’s obviously the second best.
- Why did the tomato turn red on the wedding day? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- I asked the bartender to make a watered-down drink for the wedding. He gave me a glass of ice.
- Why did the baker go to jail on the wedding day? Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream.
- When should you never trust atoms? When they make up everything… except for a good marriage.
- My wife asked me how many pairs of shoes I packed for the wedding trip… I told her, “I packed 5 pairs of heels and a pair of flip flops, just in case I wake up in the middle of the night and want to feel sexy.”
Tickle Your Funny ‘I Do’s with these Spooneristic Wedding Faux Pas!
- “Marrying Blossom” instead of “Blossoming Mary”
- “Tie the Bible” instead of “Buy the Table”
- “Loving Glide” instead of “Gloving Bride”
- “Garter Bowling” instead of “Barter Golding”
- “Flipping Jests” instead of “Jipping Flests”
- “Fancy Tutus” instead of “Tancy Futus”
- “Bride of Groom” instead of “Groom of Bride”
- “Nuptial Pranks” instead of “Puptial Narks”
- “Bridal Bun” instead of “Bunny Bridle”
- “Chapel Bells” instead of “Bapel Chells”
- “Ring for Mare” instead of “Ming for Rare”
- “Waltzing Down” instead of “Daltzing Wown”
- “Marrying Pranks” instead of “Parrying Manks”
- “Wedding Laughter” instead of “Ledding Wafter”
- “Groom’s Suit” instead of “Sroom’s Guit”
- “Blushing Babe” instead of “Bushing Blabe”
- “Kissing Bright” instead of “Bissing Kright”
- “Bouquet Toss” instead of “Touquet Boss”
- “Maid of Honor” instead of “Haid of Monor”
- “Reverend Mingle” instead of “Meverend Ringel”
Tying the Knot and Getting Knotty: Hilarious Wedding Shenanigans!
- “Why was the bride so happy she cried at her wedding? She finally found the perfect ‘happily ever after.'”
- Why did the groom give his bride a watch when they got married? It was to remind her that she was running out of time to change her mind.”
- “I went to a really emotional wedding the other day. Even the cake was in tiers.”
- “The bride’s dress was so stunning, it had everyone saying ‘I do’.”
- “What do you call a group of bridesmaids? A bride-tribe.”
- “Why did the bride’s father cry during the ceremony? Because he gave her a ‘way’ and she never came back.”
- “The groom was so nervous before the wedding, he had to ‘tux’edo a few times.”
- “Why did the bride carry a bouquet on her wedding day? In case her husband got ‘cold feet’.”
- “Why did the bride’s veil keep falling off? It was blushing too much.”
- “The bride was so beautiful, even the groom’s tears were saying ‘you may now kiss the bride’.”
- “Why did the wedding cake go to the therapist? It needed help with its ‘inner layers’.”
- “What do you call a nervous groom? A groom-bus.”
- “Why did the wedding photographer get tired at the reception? He kept saying ‘cheese’ all day.”
- “The bride’s grandfather gave a speech at the wedding saying ‘love never grows old, only the people in it’.”
- “Why did the groom get cold feet before the wedding? He accidentally saw the wedding budget.”
- “The groom walked down the aisle with such confidence, it was like he ‘tied’ the knot before the ceremony even started.”
- “Why did the bride insist on having her wedding at the beach? She wanted to show off her ‘bride’ ombre tan.”
- “What’s a groom’s favorite type of music? Marry-achi.”
- “Why did the bride’s father hand out candy after the ceremony? He wanted to ‘sweeten’ the deal.”
- “The decorations at the wedding were so lavish, it was like they were trying to ‘ring’ in the new marriage in style.”
”I Do-iology: Knot Your Ordinary Wedding Recursive Puns
- Did you hear about the bride who loved math? She said her love for her groom was never-ending.
- The wedding was a real yarn – the bride’s dress was crocheted!
- I couldn’t attend the wedding because I was double-booked.
- The bride and groom threw a great party, it was un-re-beat-able!
- The couple’s love story was like a pun – it kept getting better with each layer.
- The newlyweds were a perfect match – they were like two peas in a pod.
- The groom’s nerves got the best of him during the ceremony – he couldn’t stop stuttering his vows.
- I heard the wedding was so successful, the bride’s father was walking on cloud nine.
- The couple’s love was like a never-ending math problem – un-solvable but perfectly balanced.
- The bride wore a very revealing gown – she was a real dare to bare.
- The groom couldn’t stop smiling during the ceremony – he was grinning ear to ear.
- The wedding was full of cheesy wedding puns, but it was a gouda time.
- The bride couldn’t find her wedding bouquet – she was beside herself.
- The groom was sneezing throughout the ceremony – he had a real allergy to commitment.
- The bride’s dress was so beautiful, it was downright bridal-icious.
- The wedding reception was wild – the groom’s friends were real party animals.
- The couple’s love was like a revolving door – always coming full circle.
- The wedding was a real circus – the groom’s family was clowning around all night.
- The bride accidentally tripped during the ceremony, but she managed to save face.
- The groom couldn’t stop talking about his wedding suit – it was tailor-made for him.
Knots of Hilarity: Punny ‘I Do’s’ in Wedding Tom Swifties!
- “I’m the best man,” said Tom glibly.
- “It’s a beautiful ceremony,” said Tom irrationally.
- “I do,” said the bride, blissfully.
- “I’m getting cold feet,” said Tom, hesitantly.
- “I guess he’s finally tying the knot,” said Tom, knot-ably.
- “I can’t believe she’s getting married,” said Tom, incredulously.
- “You may now kiss the bride,” said the officiant, lip-lessly.
- “This is a dream come true,” said the groom, sleepily.
- “I can’t wait to start our life together,” said the bride, eagerly.
- “I object!” said Tom, objectionably.
- “I’m so happy for you two,” said Tom, blissfully.
- “Marriage is a lifelong commitment,” said the minister, solemnly.
- “I’m glad I’m not single anymore,” said Tom, bachelorettely.
- “This is the happiest day of my life,” said the bride, tearfully.
- “I do,” said the groom, weddingly.
- “I’m ready to say ‘I do’,” said the bride, bridal-ly.
- “I’m glad I can call you my husband now,” said the bride, wifely.
- “I can’t believe we’re actually married,” said the groom, hitched-ly.
- “I can already tell this marriage will be full of laughter,” said Tom, jokingly.
- “For better or for worse,” said the bride, matrimony-ally.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mickey. Mickey who? Mickey O’Tie the Knot at Our Wedding-a!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita marriage to go as smoothly as possible!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and want you to be my Maid of Honor!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wendy. Wendy who? Wendy-cation after this wedding is over!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? Cash me outside the wedding venue, how about that?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Murray. Murray who? Murray me, and let’s get married!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time to say “I do”!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hal. Hal who? Hal-le-lujah, we’re finally getting married!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gloria. Gloria who? Gloria to be your wife!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Drew. Drew who? Drew you marry me?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Reese. Reese who? Reese my vows to you, my dear.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lance. Lance who? Lance see you walk down the aisle!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Heidi. Heidi who? Heidi long for this moment to finally arrive.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Paul. Paul who? Paul together and be my husband/wife?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gwen. Gwen who? Gwen-ting married was the best decision of my life!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Todd. Todd who? Todd-ler of honor, I choose you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Misty. Misty who? Misty the ring bearer is running late, but he’ll be here soon.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and say ‘yes’ already!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sherry. Sherry who? Sherry-ing this moment with you is a dream come true.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Edward. Edward who? Edward and Bella getting married, Twilight fans rejoice!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rachel. Rachel who? Rachel your vows, and let’s get this love story started!
Cheers to these marital wordplay masters!
And with that, we have come to the end of our pun-filled wedding extravaganza. We hope these puns have put a smile on your face and made you giggle like a bride on her big day. Don’t forget to check out our other posts for more laughs and groan-worthy jokes. Remember, a pun a day keeps the seriousness away. Happy reading and keep spreading the punny love!