Looking to score some laughs with your kids? Look no further! We’ve compiled the ultimate list of clever and positive sports puns and jokes that are guaranteed to bring on a fit of giggles. From touchdowns to home runs, get ready to be the best ‘pun’-teller in town. Get ready for some major sporting humor that will have your little ones cheering for more. So get ready, get set, and get ready to laugh with these hilarious sports jokes!
Kicking Off the Laughs: Our ‘Sports’ Puns & Jokes Editor’s Picks!
- Why did the basketball player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to shoot some “hoops”!
- What do you call a fish who loves playing tennis? A “coursing” fish!
- Did you hear about the baseball player who quit the team because he didn’t have a “ball” to play with?
- How do you know when a racehorse is feeling sick? When it starts “jockeying” for space in the stable.
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants on the course? In case he got a “hole in one”!
- What do you call a pig who loves playing soccer? A “ham-burr-goooooooal”!
- Why was the track athlete always running late? Because he was always “running” behind!
- What did the basketball coach say when his team couldn’t make a shot? We need to work on our “net-working” skills!
- What’s the difference between a goalie and a comedian? One is always “saving” jokes and the other is always “blocking” shots.
- Why was the football player so bad at singing? He could never find the right “pitch”!
- Who is the least favorite athlete at the gym? The “weight”-lifter!
- Why was the hockey player always so cold on the ice? Because he always had the “shivers”!
- What do you call a lazy sports fan? A “ch-eerio”!
- Why couldn’t the volleyball player get any practice in? Because her coach was always “spiking” her plans!
- What do you call it when two bicycles get in a fight? A “cycle-path-ic” altercation!
- What do you get when you cross a horse and a football player? A “tackling” pony!
- Why did the baseball player get arrested? He was caught “stealing” bases!
- What do you call a book about Olympic athletes? A “field” guide to excellence!
- Why did the soccer player go to the doctor? Because he had a “foot”-ache!
- Why did the tennis player refuse to play on grass? Because he didn’t want to get stuck in a “racket”!
Score a Laugh with These Hilarious Funny Sports One-Liner Jokes!
- My tennis coach always tells me to serve with a smile, but I prefer using a racket.
- I have a love-hate relationship with dodgeball. I love dodging the ball, but hate getting hit by it.
- Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
- I’m pretty sure my running shoes are trying to run away from me.
- How does a baseball team stay cool during a game? They use their fans.
- My doctor told me to stop playing football. Apparently, tackling people on the street is not socially acceptable.
- Why did the scarecrow win a gold medal? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I wanted to join the water polo team, but couldn’t find a waterproof horse.
- Tennis players make terrible fishermen. They’re always trying to catch a volley.
- Why did the basketball player go to jail? Because he shot too many shots.
- I’m like a hockey puck – cold and hard to handle.
- Did you hear about the gymnast who went missing? She just did a backflip and disappeared.
- I’m not saying I’m the best at darts, but I do have a point.
- What did the football say to the punter? Don’t kick me while I’m down!
- You know you’re bad at golf when you have more hole-in-ones than pars.
- When it comes to track and field, I’m more of a track enthusiast and less of a field athlete.
- I joined the synchronized swimming team, but just couldn’t find my rhythm with the underwater speakers.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- If volleyball players are called spikers, does that make the coach a spikeologist?
- The marathon is like a romantic call – it takes a lot of effort, but the final stretch is always worth it.
Score Some Laughs with these QnA Jokes & Puns about Sports
- Why did the skeleton refuse to play football? Because he was afraid he’d get a bone bruise.
- What did the baseball coach say to the runner who kept stealing bases? Stop being such a thief and give them back!
- Why did the basketball player go to jail? Because he shot an air ball.
- How do you catch a squirrel who loves playing tennis? With a net set.
- Did you hear about the pizza that played soccer? It had a lot of toppings, but it never got any saucers.
- Why didn’t the golfer invite his dog to play a round? Because he didn’t know if he’d be able to retrieve his tees.
- How do baseball players stay cool during a game? They sit next to their fans.
- What do you call a fish who loves playing hockey? A pucks-per.
- Why did the running back take a nap on the sidelines? He needed a quick time out.
- How does a soccer player manage his money? He keeps it all in his goal-keeper.
- What do you call a wrestler who’s also a chef? Grill jockey.
- If a weightlifter can lift 500 pounds, but can’t lift 501, what’s his true strength? One pound short of phenom-inable.
- What did the football coach say when the team’s water cooler broke? Don’t sweat it.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
- Why don’t cricket players like baking? They don’t want to be caught in a sticky wicket.
- What do you get when you cross a baseball with a cell phone? A home run call.
- How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb? Four – one to screw it in, and three to yell “Fore!” when it breaks.
- What did the basketball say to the rim? Can I count on you to catch me when I fall?
- Why couldn’t the football player listen to his music? He forgot his helmet with headphones.
- What do you call a duck who loves soccer but also has a green thumb? A quack gardener.
Serving up a Slam Dunk of Dad Jokes about Sports!
- Did you hear about the football team that was always losing? They decided to change their name to “The Underdogs” and now they’re never expected to win.
- What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Catch you later!
- I used to play handball, but I gave it up. It was just a passing phase.
- Why don’t hockey teams play in fields? Because they would keep losing their pucks in the grass.
- You know what’s ironic? I was an all-star athlete in high school, but now I can barely run to the fridge for a snack.
- Did you hear about the marathon runner who quit halfway through? He just couldn’t take the run-around anymore.
- Why was the basketball player always late? He kept getting tied up at the court.
- My son told me he wants to be a professional wrestler. I told him to sleep on it, because dreams don’t last forever.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie on it!
- What did the golfer say when he hit his ball into the water? “Hook, line, and sinker!”
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
- I heard about a new sport where you have to balance on a tightrope while juggling flaming tennis rackets. It’s called extreme outdoor cooking.
- Why was the basketball court so wet? The players kept dribbling on it.
- Why did the football player go to college? To get a few degrees on him.
- I used to play soccer, but I had to quit because the grass kept tickling my ankles.
- What did one tennis ball say to the other? “See you at the court!”
- Did you hear about the professional ping pong player who lost to a computer? He had no one to blame but himself.
- Why do golfers always wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole-in-one.
- I tried out for the Olympic swimming team, but I didn’t make the cut. I guess I just wasn’t in stroke with the judges.
- How many soccer players does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they have to do it with their head.
Sweat, Smiles, and Silliness: The Best ‘Sports’ Puns & Jokes for Kids!
- Why was the soccer player bad at math? Because he kept taking dives!
- Why did the basketball player go to jail? Because he shot the ball!
- What did the football coach say when his team kept losing? “We need to tackle these problems head on!”
- Why couldn’t the runner ever finish a race? Because she always got side-tracked!
- How do you know when a skateboarder has had a bad day? He keeps ramping up his anger!
- How does a tennis player stay cool during a match? They use their serve fan!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the course? In case he got a hole in one!
- What did the hockey player say when he scored the winning goal? “Icing on the cake!”
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it, just like a disco ball!
- What did the baseball player say when he lost his bat? “I guess I’ll just have to swing for the fences!”
- Why did the swimmer wear two pairs of goggles? In case one pair quits, he’ll have a back-up!
- How do you make basketball more exciting? Throw in a couple of cheerleaders, they’ll bring the heat!
- What did the tennis ball say to the racket? “Don’t hit me, I’m just a little ball!”
- How do you know when a soccer game is over? When it’s finally goal!
- Why did the track star quit his job as a crossing guard? He wanted to run free at last!
- Why don’t skeletons play hockey? They never have the nerve to put on the pads!
- How do you know when a football player is having a bad day? When he keeps getting sacked!
- What do you call a dog who loves playing Frisbee? A retriever!
- How do you make a baseball game last forever? Put it on “pause”!
- What did the swim coach say when his team kept losing? “We need to dive in and make a splash!”
Score a Laugh with These Hilarious Funny Quotes about Sports!
- “I thought sports bras were made for lazy people who can’t be bothered to put on a real one.”
- “I golf for the same reason I dance – to embarrass myself in front of strangers.”
- “If sweating counted as exercise, I’d be the fittest person on the couch.”
- “I don’t always play sports, but when I do, I choose the couch.”
- “My only form of cardio is running late to my sports games.”
- I’ve never met a treadmill I didn’t want to push down a flight of stairs.
- “I run because I really like food and still want to fit into my pants.”
- “Watching sports on TV doesn’t make you an athlete, just like standing in a garage doesn’t make you a car.”
- “I play basketball for the cardio, but mostly for the free t-shirts.”
- “The only goal I set in sports is to make it through the game without tripping over my own feet.”
- “I used to think soccer was just running in circles, and then I tried it and realized I was right.”
- “I lift weights because punching people is frowned upon in polite society.”
- “My favorite part of playing sports is the post-game snack.”
- “I may not be the fastest, strongest, or most skilled athlete, but I have perfected the ‘fake it ’til you make it’ strategy.”
- The only reason I do yoga is so I can get into weird positions and claim I’m exercising.
- “Running a marathon is just like giving birth – midway through you regret ever starting it.”
- “The best exercise I get at the gym is dodging eye contact with the personal trainer.”
- I don’t need to run a marathon to prove I have endurance – just watch me wait in line for concert tickets.
- “I may not be a pro athlete, but I could easily compete in the ‘napping’ category.”
- I don’t always play sports, but when I do, I prefer to be a spectator with a beer in hand.
Score a Laugh with These Hilarious Sports Proverbs & Wise Sayings
- “A game of golf is like a wild rollercoaster ride, full of highs and lows but always guaranteed to make you scream.”
- The only thing more unpredictable than the weather is a football match with Manchester United.
- “Basketball is like a puzzle – sometimes the pieces just don’t fit, but that’s what makes it fun.”
- “They say practice makes perfect, but have they seen my bowling skills?”
- “Never underestimate the power of a good sports bra – it can make or break your tennis game.”
- “Knocking down pins in bowling is like therapeutic anger management – just without the screaming.”
- “In sports as in life, it’s not about the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the heart in the dog.”
- “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take – but sometimes you also miss 100% of the shots you do take.”
- “If at first you don’t succeed, try playing sports that don’t require hand-eye coordination.”
- “They say there’s no crying in baseball, but have they tried watching a game with a Red Sox fan?”
- “Golf is the only sport where yelling ‘fore’ is actually a good thing.”
- “Remember, always keep your eye on the ball – unless it’s a fly ball heading towards your face, then just run.”
- “Boxing teaches us that it’s not about how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you can still get back up.”
- “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade – unless you’re playing soccer, then use the lemons to fake an injury.”
- “They say defense wins championships, but my defense is more like a screen door on a submarine.”
- “Cheerleading is like being a human pom-pom – cute, fluffy and often used to distract the real players.”
- “Football is like a game of chess – only with more tackling and less strategic thinking.”
- “Volleyball is just a fancy way of saying ‘don’t let the ball touch the ground.'”
- “Swimming is the only sport where you’re expected to push yourself to the edge of exhaustion, then do it all over again.”
- “The best thing about playing golf is that you get to drive a tiny car without getting a DUI.”
Score Big with Sports Double Entendres Puns!
- “He really knows how to handle his balls… on the golf course.”
- “Looks like she’s giving it all she’s got… on the tennis court.”
- “I thought it was a slam dunk, but turns out she just tripped… on the basketball court.”
- “He’s sprinting towards the finish line, but it looks like he might be running towards the restroom.”
- “I’d like to see her come up for air after that dive… in swimming.”
- “He may be a quarterback on the field, but I bet he’s a wide receiver in the bedroom.”
- “Looks like they’re playing some dirty hockey… on the ice.”
- “He’s got a mean stroke… in golf, of course.”
- “I hope he’s got his saddle strapped on tight for this ride… on the rodeo circuit.”
- “She’s really getting a leg up on the competition… in track and field.”
- “He’s not just a jockey, he’s a horse whisperer too… on the racetrack.”
- “Looks like she’s got a grip on that pole… in pole vaulting.”
- “I bet she could really score… on the soccer field.”
- “If he keeps playing like that, he’ll be needing a cup… in baseball.”
- “Looks like there’s a lot of stretching and bouncing going on… in gymnastics.”
- “He’s really pounding that hole… in golf.”
- “She must have some strong upper body strength… in crossfit.”
- “I never knew weightlifting could be so sexy… until I saw her snatch.”
- “That pitch was right down the middle… just like his love life.”
- “I’m no math genius, but I can tell you that two homeruns is better than one… in baseball.”
Score Big Laughs with These Recursive Sports Puns
- Why did the baseball player need a lawyer? Because he was caught stealing second base!
- The marathon runner’s favorite food is pun-cakes.
- What did the soccer coach say when his team kept passing the ball backwards? “Looks like we’re stuck in a recursion.”
- I used to play tennis, but I quit because it was just too much love-love for me.
- He fell while chasing the ball, but luckily his cricket teammates were there to catch him and break his fall.
- I tried to tell a joke about basketball, but it didn’t bounce back as well as I had hoped.
- Why couldn’t the football player make it to practice on time? Because he was in a perpetual running back drill.
- The gymnast’s favorite math class was trigonometry because she loved working on those tumbling angles.
- I went to a water polo game, but it was all just a big pool-in-one joke.
- The track and field team was always winning because they never took a rest and kept going around in circles.
- What do you call a group of synchronized swimmers that get stuck in a loop? A whirpool.
- The weightlifter went on a diet and couldn’t stop talking about how she was losing weight-lifts.
- The ice hockey player’s jokes were always so sharp, they could cut through the ice.
- Why couldn’t the bowler hit any strikes? Because he kept getting stuck in a bowling recursion.
- The chess player’s moves were so predictable, it was like he was moving in a chess-ception.
- The rugby player got in trouble for constantly tackling his teammates in a never-ending scrum.
- What did the volleyball coach say when his players started bumping the ball back and forth? “Looks like we’ve entered a bump n’ bump recursion.”
- I tried to watch a game of polo, but it was just too much horseplay for me.
- The swimmer always made a splash at competitions, but his jokes were still kind of dry.
- I told a joke at the bowling alley and everyone laughed so hard, the pins got stuck in a laughing pin recursion.
Score Big Laughs with these Knock-knock Jokes (Knock, knock. Who’s there?) about Sports!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Boo, I’m a ghost, I’ll haunt you if you don’t let me play basketball with you.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive to play tennis, let’s go!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? Annie thing you can do, I can do better on the soccer field.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and pass me the baseball, the game’s about to start!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for the football game!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gigi. Gigi who? Gigi me a high five, I just scored a goal!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hank. Hank who? Hank you for inviting me to play golf, I can’t wait to tee off!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sam. Sam who? Sam of you, Sam of me, let’s play some beach volleyball!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben who? Ben searching for the perfect opponent in table tennis and I think I’ve found you.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leo. Leo who? Leo the way, I’m a pro at ice skating!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivy. Ivy who? Ivy never lose at badminton, prepare to be beaten!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eddie. Eddie who? Eddie are my favorite opponent in boxing, let’s spar!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rachel. Rachel who? Rachel up and let’s go for a run, I could use a good workout.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tom. Tom who? Tom Brady, the quarterback. Just kidding, it’s actually me, ready to play some football?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Denny. Denny who, Denny play soccer, but I’ll give it a shot!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Patty. Patty who? Patty cake, patty cake, let’s hit some home runs on the softball field!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery good swimmer, that’s who!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mia. Mia who? Mia so happy you’re my teammate in basketball.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tina. Tina who? Tina be a great game of hockey with you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frank. Frank who? Frankly, my skills in gymnastics are unmatched. Let’s see who can do the best cartwheel!
Game, Set, Match: Laughing All the Way!
Well folks, that’s a wrap on our collection of 180+ jokes about sports. We hope you got your fill of laughs and puns, and maybe even learned a thing or two about the competitive world of athletics. And if you’re still hungry for more, be sure to check out our other posts dedicated to tickling your funny bone. Because, let’s be real, who doesn’t need a good chuckle every now and then? Keep the laughter going and keep on punning!