Are you ready to tackle some laughs? We’ve got the best puns about football that are sure to score a touchdown with your funny bone. Prepare for some clever wordplay and positive vibes as we kick off this list of hilarious jokes. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just love a good pun, we’ve got you covered. So grab your helmet and get ready to laugh your cleats off with these football puns.

Touchdown Entertainment: Football Puns and Hilarious Jokes – Our Top Editor’s Plays!

  1. “Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!”
  2. “Why was the football coach always calm? Because he had a lot of patience.”
  3. “What do you call a football player who loves to dance? The punting pirouette.”
  4. “Why was the quarterback always tired on game day? Because he was up all night studying the playbook!”
  5. “Why did the football team go to the doctor? They were suffering from a case of post-touchdown-itis.”
  6. “Why did the wide receiver wear sunglasses during the game? Because he didn’t want to be caught on camera without his shades.”
  7. “What did the football coach say to the vending machine? Give me my quarterback!”
  8. “Why did the football player go to the bank? To open up a savings account for his punts.”
  9. “What did the football player say when asked about his recent touchdown? It was a real kick in the grass!”
  10. “Why did the football player take a belt to the game? Because he heard they were playing tight defense.”
  11. “What do you call it when a football player gets arrested? A criminal offense!”
  12. “Why did the running back quit the team? He didn’t like being tackled all the time.
  13. “Why was the football field so hot? Because all the fans left on the 50-yard line.”
  14. “What did the coach say about the injured quarterback? He’s been sacked way too many times.”
  15. “Why did the football player wear a tie during the game? To keep his collarbone in place.”
  16. “Why was the quarterback in such a bad mood? He kept getting intercepted.”
  17. “What did one football say to the other football? I’ve got your back(side)!”
  18. “Why did the football coach go on a diet? He wanted to cut down on his third and long.”
  19. “What do you call a line of cheerleaders doing cartwheels? A fumble-rumble.”
  20. “Why did the referee refuse to blow the whistle? He was too busy celebrating his birthday – it was a special down.”
funny and best Football jokes and one liner clever Football puns at

Kick Off the Laughs: Hilarious One-Liner Puns About Football

  1. Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
  2. Did you hear about the football player who opened a bakery? He specialized in turnovers.
  3. How do football players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans.
  4. What does a football coach eat when he’s in a rush? A quarterback pounder.
  5. How did the football coach get the water to his players? He used a QB sneak.
  6. Why did the football player go to the bank? He wanted to get his quarterback.
  7. What did the defensive coach say to his players? “Don’t pass out on the field.”
  8. Why did the football player go to the doctor? He was feeling a little defensive.
  9. What do you call a cheeseburger at a football game? A linebacker.
  10. What do you call a fake football team? A Counterfeiters.
  11. What do you call an unemployed defensive player? A sacked quarterback.
  12. Why don’t football players like rain? Because it makes their passes slippery.
  13. What do you call a football player who opens a pizza shop? A quarterback with a side hustle.
  14. Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? To climb the leaderboards.
  15. What do you call a ghost playing football? A phantom foul.
  16. Why did the football player cross the street? To get to the other sideline.
  17. How did the injured football player feel? Defensive.
  18. Why can’t football players play cards? They’re always missing their wide receiver.
  19. What do you call a shampoo for football players? Head and shoulders above the rest.
  20. Why couldn’t the ghost play football? Because he was afraid of being tackled.

Kick Some Laughs: QnA Jokes & Puns about ‘Soccer’ Fun-damentals!

  1. Q: Why did the new football coach go to the bank? A: He wanted to make some quarterback changes.
  2. Q: Why couldn’t the pig play football? A: Because he was a little ham-strung.
  3. Q: What do you call a football player with no eyes? A: A quarter back.
  4. Q: How do football players stay cool during a game? A: They stand near the fans!
  5. Q: Why was the football coach yelling at the vending machine? A: He wanted his quarterback!
  6. Q: What’s a football player’s favorite drink? A: Quarterback-y-rum!
  7. Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite position on a football team? A: Ghoul-d rusher.
  8. Q: What do you call a football player who wears a tutu? A: A ballerina-back.
  9. Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank? A: To get his quarterback!
  10. Q: What did the football coach say to his players when they lost the game? A: Sorry guys, we dropped the ball.
  11. Q: What do you call a football player’s favorite snack? A: A tackle-ato chip.
  12. Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogie in it!
  13. Q: Why don’t they serve ice cream at football games? A: Because the fans might get cold feet.
  14. Q: How do you know when a quarterback is cold? A: When he starts shivering and throwing touchdowns!
  15. Q: What do you call a chicken who plays football? A: A grid-fowl!
  16. Q: Why did the football player go to jail? A: Because he was caught stealing yards.
  17. Q: What did the coach say when the field was flooded with water? A: We need a quarterback-puddle!
  18. Q: Why did the football coach go to the doctor? A: He had a lot of quarterback-aches.
  19. Q: What do you call a football player who gets a ticket for speeding? A: A quarter-back with points on his license.
  20. Q: Why did the football player go to the bank? A: To get his quarter back!

Kickin’ It with Some Wise & Witty Football Phrases

  1. “A good coach can make a bad player look mediocre, but it takes a bad coach to make a good player look terrible.”
  2. “It’s better to have loved and lost than to bet on the Cleveland Browns.”
  3. “A football fan without a team is like a sandwich without a filling.”
  4. “A fake injury on the field is worth two in the referee’s book.”
  5. “You can lead a team to the Super Bowl, but you can’t make them win it.”
  6. “If at first you don’t succeed, blame it on the kicker.”
  7. A good quarterback is like a good wine, they both tend to get better with age.
  8. “In football, as in life, it’s always better to be underrated than overrated.”
  9. “The only thing Falcons fans are good at catching is disappointment.”
  10. “Defense wins championships, but it also loses fantasy football games.”
  11. “If the offensive line was a brick wall, the quarterback would still find a way to get sacked.”
  12. “Cheering for the New England Patriots is like rooting for your wealthy uncle to win the lottery.”
  13. “They say take it one game at a time, but have they seen the NFC East standings?”
  14. “If football is a religion, then the Super Bowl is our Christmas Mass.”
  15. A Hail Mary play is like a fart in the wind, it either stinks or it surprises everyone.
  16. “The only thing longer than Tom Brady’s football career is his TB12 Method book.”
  17. “If you think football players are tough, try being a kicker.”
  18. “Football is 90% mental, the other half is physical.”
  19. “A touchdown celebration isn’t complete without an excessive amount of chest bumps.”
  20. “The only thing more predictable than the Patriots winning is the Lions losing.”

Kick Off Your Laughter with these Dad Jokes about ‘Football’s Most Hilarious Fumbles!

  1. Why did the football player bring string to the game? Because he was the tiebreaker!
  2. What did the football coach say when his player asked for a day off? “Sorry, but that’s not in your contract.”
  3. Why do you have to be careful when wearing white jerseys? Because you might end up getting tackled by the Tide.
  4. What did the football say when it was in a bad mood? “I’m feeling kind of deflated today.”
  5. How does a football player keep warm during a game? He sits near the fan…because it’s always blowing hot air!
  6. What do you call a pig who plays football? A touchdown ham!
  7. Why was the football coach always calm? Because he liked to keep a balanced offense.
  8. What did the football player say when he dropped his ice cream? “I guess I fumbled that one!”
  9. Why is football like a messy room? Because it’s always full of tackles!
  10. What do you call a football that swears a lot? A Foul Ball!
  11. How did the football player know the airplane was crashing? He saw the ground team going into a pre-vent defense!
  12. What did the football coach say when his team ate too much at the buffet? “Looks like we’re going to need some extra padding on those uniforms!”
  13. Why did the chicken get kicked off the football team? Because he kept using fowl play!
  14. What do you call a football player who likes to dance? A kicker-ooni!
  15. Why was the math book unhappy when reading about football? Because it had too many problems!
  16. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a quarterback? A big throw-cophant!
  17. How does a football coach measure success? With a yardstick!
  18. Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back!
  19. What do you call it when a football player trips and falls? A touchdown – in the turf!
  20. Why was the quarterback always asking for the time? Because he needed to figure out how many seconds were left on the clock!

Kicking Puns and Laughing Goals: Hilarious Spoonerisms about Football

  1. “Lit the dimmer on the matchfield”
  2. “Scored a hatrick with his dread feet”
  3. “Kicked the ball in the pitchfork”
  4. “Tackled the field with his head socks”
  5. “Caught the handball in his mouth”
  6. “Threw a pass in the snout piker”
  7. “Goal-bound the kicker’s foot in the cred guy”
  8. “Slid in for a goochable goal”
  9. “Deflected the shot with his blick foot”
  10. “Saved the penalty with a foot flick”
  11. “Struck a header in the boot omar”
  12. “Swung the cleats on his foot spike”
  13. “Slipped on the grass and kicked the orange instead of the ball”
  14. “Juggled the ball on his helmet instead of his head”
  15. “Went for a corner kick but ended up in the corner crying”
  16. “Fumbled the pass and ended up in goal instead of the goalkeeper”
  17. “Flipped over the goalpost and landed a flickshot”
  18. “Tripped on his shoelaces and sent the ball flying into the stands”
  19. “Scored a goal with his left foot when he’s actually right-footed”
  20. “Headbutted the ball in instead of using his feet”.

2 for 1 Score: Hilarious Double Entendres about Football You Can’t Miss!

  1. “I can’t decide if I’m more of a tight end or a wide receiver.”
  2. “Did you see the way that ball got passed around? It was like a game of hot potato.”
  3. “The coach really knows how to handle his balls.”
  4. “I always love a good punt in a tight situation.”
  5. “I’ve been practicing my end zone dance.”
  6. “Quarterbacks and tight ends have a special connection.”
  7. “I may be a kicker, but I don’t mind getting roughed up a bit.”
  8. “I don’t mind taking one for the team.”
  9. “I’ve never seen a team with such good hands.”
  10. “I may be a rookie, but I know how to handle a stiff defense.”
  11. “The crowd went wild when he scored his first touch-down.”
  12. “I never thought I’d enjoy so many men chasing after me.”
  13. “It’s all about the perfect combination of speed and agility.”
  14. “They say defense wins championships, but I prefer a good offense.”
  15. “I’ve always been a fan of tight end defense.”
  16. “You have to know how to hold it just right to get the perfect spiral.”
  17. “I always love a good sack (or two).”
  18. “I may be a receiver, but I know how to give as good as I get.”
  19. “Everyone wants a piece of the ball, but it’s all about technique.”
  20. “They say it’s not the size of the helmet, but how you use it on the field.”

Kicking it Up a Notch: Hilarious Recursive Puns about the Gridiron Game!

  1. Why couldn’t the football player finish his math homework? Because all he kept doing was adding insult to injury!
  2. I used to think football was a game of feet, but it’s really a game of inches!
  3. Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!
  4. I have a great joke about punting in football, but it’s a bit of a kick-back!
  5. What do you call a football player who doesn’t shut up? A quarter-back-catcher!
  6. Why did the football team bring a ladder to their game? For their quarterback to reach new heights!
  7. Why did the receiver go to the doctor? Because he had a case of touchdown sickness!
  8. Did you hear about the football player who hated puns? He thought they were a real game changer!
  9. What do you call a football game between horses? A gallop-into-the-endzone!
  10. Why did the quarterback get lost on his way to the stadium? Because his coach told him to head to the draw play!
  11. I don’t always tell dad jokes, but when I do, he tends to sack me for being too corny!
  12. Why did the running back cross the road? To get away from the pun-ishment!
  13. What’s a football player’s favorite type of jewelry? Chain-mail to protect themselves from the opposition!
  14. What did Tom Brady say when his coach asked him if he wanted to go for it on 4th down? “I’m game!”
  15. Did you hear about the football player who was always bragging about his cleats? He was a real shoe-in for the team’s MVP!
  16. Why did the football coach go on a diet? He wanted to slim down the playbook!
  17. What’s a bird’s favorite position in football? Wide receiver!
  18. Why did the referee bring a ladder to the game? To make sure he had a bird’s-eye view of the play!
  19. What did the defensive lineman say when his wife asked him what he wanted for dinner? “Just give me a little taste of victory!”
  20. I tried to make a joke about deflated footballs, but it just fell flat.

Kick Off with Laughter: Hilarious Tom Swifties about Football!

  1. “I can’t believe we lost the game,” Tom said defensively.
  2. I think we need to work on our defense,” said Tom unguardedly.
  3. “I just scored a goal!” exclaimed Tom in a goal-struck manner.
  4. “I’m feeling a bit deflated after that last play,” Tom said with let-down.
  5. “That was a kickin’ good game,” Tom said with a swift kick of excitement.
  6. “I may be a quarterback, but you can catch me at the post-game party,” Tom joked with a quip.
  7. “Our team’s performance was a real kick in the grass,” Tom said in a grassy way.
  8. “I hate to be the one to tackle this, but we need to improve our strategy,” Tom said in a tackling way.
  9. “Looks like we’re headed for overtime,” Tom said with some extra time on his hands.
  10. “I’m not one to pass on celebrating a win,” said Tom with a passing glance.
  11. “The crowd is completely offside tonight,” Tom remarked with a flagrant tone.
  12. “I’ve never seen such a lousy penalty kick,” Tom said with some penalties.
  13. “I’m just going to wing it and see where the ball goes,” said Tom without any direction.
  14. “Our team is really goal-driven,” Tom observed with a goal-oriented mindset.
  15. “I think I might have pulled a muscle,” Tom groaned as he pulled his hamstring.
  16. “We could really use a Hail Mary play right about now,” Tom said with a sense of desperation.
  17. “I don’t mean to be cornered, but we should work on our set pieces,” Tom said under pressure.
  18. “I’m so pumped up, I could tackle a bear,” Tom exclaimed with wild enthusiasm.
  19. “I’ve got to hand it to our opponents, they were the better team today,” Tom said begrudgingly.
  20. “I don’t want to be a flop, but I think I twisted my ankle,” Tom said limping off the field.

Score Big Laughs with These Knock-Knock Football Jokes!

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Halftime. Halftime who? Halftime to score some more goals!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Penalty. Penalty who? Penalty for that terrible pass!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? End zone. End zone who? End zone for the win!
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cheerleader. Cheerleader who? Cheerleader up, it’s just a game!
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fumble. Fumble who? Fumble in the jungle!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Huddle. Huddle who? Huddle up, let’s make a play!
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sack. Sack who? Sack the quarterback!
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tackle. Tackle who? Tackle that touchdown!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red flag. Red flag who? Red flag for a review!
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Scoreboard. Scoreboard who? Scoreboard wants more points!
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goal line. Goal line who? Goal line defense, don’t let them score!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Quarterback. Quarterback who? Quarterback sneak for the win!
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Field goal. Field goal who? Field goal for the tie!
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Blitz. Blitz who? Blitz the offense!
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Endurance. Endurance who? Endurance is key in football!
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tailgate. Tailgate who? Tailgate party before the game!
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Injury. Injury who? Injury timeout, need to regroup!
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sidelines. Sidelines who? Stay on the sidelines if you can’t handle the heat!
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sweat. Sweat who? Sweat it out, it’s the last quarter!
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Winning. Winning who? Winning is all that matters in football!

Kicking off with laughter: Football puns finale!

Well, folks, it looks like we’ve reached the end zone of puns and jokes about football. I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a bit touchdown by all the clever wordplay. But fear not, there are plenty more puns and jokes to tackle in our other related posts. So don’t be a benchwarmer, go check them out and keep the laughter going! Until then, keep calm and punt on!

Ahmad Raza

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

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