Laugh your way through the 9-5: 200+ Work Puns & Jokes!

Hey there, worker bees! Are you in need of a good laugh to break up the monotony of your 9-5 grind? Look no further! We’ve compiled a list of the best work puns and jokes that will have you laughing all the way to the water cooler. Whether you’re a CEO or a cubicle dweller, these clever and positive puns about work will have you rolling on the office floor. So grab your coworkers and get ready for some humor that even kids can appreciate. Without further ado, let’s clock in to our list of hilarious work puns.

Clock in Some Laughs with These ‘Work’ Puns & Jokes – Top Picks!

1. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
2. I used to hate math, but then I realized it’s all just work.
3. I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
4. I spent all day at work looking up jokes about procrastination. I didn’t start working until the afternoon.
5. How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that’s a hardware problem.
6. I have a job at a calendar factory, but I can’t work with those dates.
7. My job at the record store was great until they started playing my songs on the overhead speakers.
8. My boss asked me why I wasn’t working harder. I told him I didn’t want to strain myself.
9. I told my boss I needed a raise because the cost of living has gone up. He said: “That’s not my fault – living hasn’t been very expensive for me lately.”
10. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
11. When I get bored at work, I go into a corner and rotate clockwise. When I get too dizzy, I rotate anti-clockwise. That maintains my sense of direction.
12. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense.
13. My boss yelled at me today saying, “It’s been months now! I told you to start work on this project ASAP!” “Wait,” I replied. “I thought ASAP meant After September Anyway Project.”
14. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
15. My coworker told me he had a dream about his colleagues wearing suits in different colors to represent different levels of hierarchy. I said, “Wow, that’s a nice nepotism.”
16. Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
17. The angry printer threw all of my work away and said, “It’s your own documents fault!”.
18. Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
19. Why did the belt get arrested? It held up a pair of pants!
20. Co-workers are like Christmas lights. They all hang together, half of them don’t work, and the other half aren’t so bright.

Witty Workplace Wit: Funny ‘Work’ One-Liner Jokes & Puns that Pack a Punch!

1. I used to work in a calendar factory, but I got fired for taking a couple days off.
2. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
4. I used to hate facial hair, but it’s really grown on me.
5. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t seem to put it down.
6. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
7. If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
8. I used to play piano by ear until my insides stated to hurt.
9. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
10. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
11. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
12. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
13. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
14. I was going to make a joke about procrastination, but I’ll do it later.
15. My boss asked me to reschedule all my meetings for next week, but I don’t think Monday will work for me.
16. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
17. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but then I got over it.
18. What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.
19. I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
20. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Work Smarter, Not Harder: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Work

1. “Work hard, nap harder.”
2. “A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, and a cluttered desk is a sign of a productive worker.”
3. “The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
4. “A day without laughter in the office is like a day without air conditioning in the desert.”
5. “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it finish its TPS reports.”
6. “When life gives you lemons, put them on your coworker’s desk and see if they take the hint.”
7. “The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.”
8. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for when I really need it.”
9. “If at first, you don’t succeed, delegate it to someone else.”
10. “Teamwork is important, it helps you blame someone else.”
11. “Procrastination is like a credit card, it’s a lot of fun until you get the bill.”
12. “A messy desk is a sign of a creative mind, or a lazy person.”
13. “The best things in life are free, unless you work in retail.”
14. “Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the risk?”
15. “If you think your job is tough, remember someone has to install turn signals on BMWs.”
16. “Never trust a coworker who doesn’t drink coffee.”
17. “The road to success and the road to a near-empty bank account are often the same one.”
18. “If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late. If you’re late, don’t bother showing up.”
19. “Experience is what you get when you don’t get the job you wanted.”
20. “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life, but you’ll still need a paycheck.”

Why was the computer tired at work? Because it had too many processors to deal with in ‘QnA Jokes & Puns about Work’!

1. Why did the tomato go to work? Because he couldn’t ketchup on his bills!
2. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
3. Why don’t skeletons work during the day? Because they’re bone-tired!
4. How many ears does a corn have? I don’t know, I didn’t count the kernels!
5. Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants!
6. Why was the computer cold at work? Because it left its Windows open!
7. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist-watch!
8. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
9. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
10. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator!
11. Why did the phone go to work? Because it couldn’t find a payphone!
12. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
13. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
14. What do you call an alligator in a vest and tie? An investi-gator-dressed!
15. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
16. What do you call an alligator that works in customer service? A call-i-gator!
17. Why did the pony go to work? Because it was a neigh-borhood watch!
18. What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school? Arrrrt!
19. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
20. How do you organize a space party? You planet!

Punch up Your Work Day with These Dad Jokes & Puns!

1. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. How did the technician fix his computer? He used a lintern-ate solution.
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the office? He woke up.
4. I’m not lazy, I’m just in energy-saving mode.
5. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
6. I told my dad I got a job at a bakery. He said, “That’s a sweet gig.”
7. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
8. Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side in a work accident? He’s all right now.
9. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
10. What does a pirate working in IT say? “Ahoy there, troubleshooters!”
11. I told my boss I needed a raise because I’m always multitasking at work. He said, “Just putting on pants while drinking coffee doesn’t count.”
12. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
13. Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
14. I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately expressing my opinions in a loud, authoritative voice.
15. Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up some pants for ransom.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
17. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
18. Why couldn’t the bicycle register for school? Because it was too tired.
19. What do you call an alligator in a vest playing the piano? An investi-gator with fancy scales.
20. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”

Work(out) Your Humor with These Double Entendre Puns

1. “I’m swamped at work, but I’ll try to find a way to stay afloat.”
2. “I’ve been working like a dog, but luckily I haven’t learned any new tricks.”
3. “I really need a raise, or at least a ladder to climb up the corporate ladder.”
4. “My job may be boring, but at least I have a desk job…unlike some of my coworkers.”
5. “I always give 110% at work…10% Monday, 100% Friday.”
6. “I work for a small company…small enough to fit in my cubicle.”
7. “I may be employed, but I think I’ll apply for a job as a mattress tester.”
8. “My boss was sick today, so I had to make executive decisions…like what to get for lunch.”
9. “I hate dish duty at work, because it really cuts into my coffee break.”
10. “I’m not saying I’m a workaholic, but I do have an addiction to my office chair.”
11. “My job may not be glamorous, but someone’s gotta keep the copy machine running.”
12. “I asked my boss for a promotion, and he gave me a pat on the back…but then he asked me to move an office chair.”
13. “I’m always on time for work…according to my watch, which runs 15 minutes fast.”
14. “I tried to apply for a job at the circus, but they said my skills are better suited for the office.”
15. “My coworkers always say I’m full of hot air…but at least I haven’t blown up any balloons yet.”
16. “I tried to quit my job, but my boss convinced me to stay with a 401-kiss.”
17. “Work is like a car engine…it’s always running, and sometimes it needs a little oil.”
18. “I’m thinking about starting a lemonade stand at work…because when life gives you lemons, you might as well get paid for it.”
19. “I’m so busy at work, I think I need to clone myself…or at least teach my cat how to use a keyboard.”
20. “My job is like a puzzle, and I’m always trying to find the missing piece…but sometimes I just end up eating snacks in the break room.”

Clock in for a Laugh with these Recursive Puns about Work

1. What do you call a lazy employee who refuses to do their job? A lackadaisical laborer!
2. Why did the coffee get promoted? Because it was a hard worker bean!
3. The ideal desk job for a pirate? A booty call center.
4. I haven’t been to work in so long, I think they changed the Wi-Fi password to my name.
5. I told my boss that I have a fear of speed bumps. He said I’ll just have to get over it.
6. My job at the mirror factory is just something I can see myself doing long-term.
7. I accidentally handed my boss a glue stick instead of a chapstick. He still isn’t talking to me.
8. I told my boss I needed a raise because I was reaching the tipping point – I keep falling over.
9. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
10. I’m thinking of quitting my day job to become a professional mirror cleaner. It’s just something I can see myself doing.
11. My coworkers say I’m too negative, but I like to think of myself as just being realistic about our endless to-do list.
12. What do you call something that’s broken during the day but still works at night? A broken clock, pulling the graveyard shift.
13. I hate it when the CEO sends out an all-staff email, it’s like a mass paranoia attack.
14. How did the workaholic lobster get promoted? It clawed its way to the top.
15. Why did the computer go to work wearing glasses? It wanted to improve its workstation.
16. I got a new secretary, she said she wants to check whether or not my appointments are in my agenda. And that could get a little awkward because then I’ll have to say “agenda defined” a lot of times.
17. Why did the accountant quit his job? He was tired of crunching numbers all day.
18. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
19. The janitor told me he’d recently been hired to clean up the office. No pun intended.
20. Why did the cell phone go to work before eating breakfast? It wanted to start the day off on a full charge.

Working Hard or ‘Wrecking’ Havoc? Common ‘Work’ Malapropisms Explained!

1. “I can’t work today, I’m feeling a bit discombobulated.”
2. “Sorry boss, I can’t come in, I have a bad case of workaholism.”
3. “I think I need to write a letter of unicorn to my co-worker.”
4. “I accidentally stapled my finger, now I have a case of workplace victimization.”
5. “I have a meeting with HR to discuss my dormant salary.”
6. “I’m not a fan of workwork, I prefer playplay.”
7. “My boss wants to give me a promotion, but it’s just another case of promiscuous thinking.”
8. “I spilled coffee all over my keyboard and now it has a serious case of caffeine touch.”
9. “Can we reschedule the meeting for later? I have a terrible case of diarrhea, I mean, deadline.”
10. “The new intern is amazing at multitasking, they can juggle three apples and a banana all at once.”
11. “I can’t believe you got a raise, that’s so condescending.”
12. “I need to delegate this task to someone else, I’m just not in the mental state for procrasturbation.”
13. “My boss thinks I’m a real go-getter, but honestly I’m more of a slow-getter.”
14. “I can answer emails while I’m napping, I’m a master of sleep working.”
15. “I have a meeting with the copier repairman later, our paper jam session is getting out of hand.”
16. “I accidentally sent a love memo to my boss instead of a love memo to my spouse, awkward.”
17. “I’m feeling so overworked that I might have to take a mental health ‘baycation’.”
18. “I’m really good at think-texting, it’s like texting but with less actual work.”
19. “I need to write a performance assessment for my co-worker, they have a real case of proposterous ideas.”
20. “Sorry I’m late, I had a case of car problems and was stuck in commuter triangle for an hour.”

Ready to ‘Work’ Some Punny Magic with These Tom Swifties?

1. “I can’t believe I got promoted,” said Tom laboriously.
2. “I guess I’ll have to stay late again,” sighed Tom workingly.
3. “I can never find a pen when I need one,” muttered Tom in-ink-redibly.
4. “I just can’t seem to get ahead in this company,” grumbled Tom headfirst.
5. “Looks like I’m working through lunch again,” sighed Tom grindingly.
6. “I have to attend another boring meeting,” groaned Tom dis-meeting-ly.
7. “I finally finished that report,” exclaimed Tom exhaust-edly.
8. “I’m really struggling to meet this deadline,” said Tom deadline-dly.
9. “I’ll just have to wing it during this presentation,” joked Tom flight-lessly.
10. “I’m hoping for a raise, but I won’t hold my breath,” laughed Tom salary-lessly.
11. “This day just seems to drag on forever,” sighed Tom overtime-dly.
12. “I really need a vacation,” said Tom delegating-ly.
13. “I wish I could work from home today,” complained Tom remotely.
14. “I can’t believe I have to work on a Saturday,” moaned Tom week-endless.
15. “This project is taking over my life,” groaned Tom control-ingly.
16. “I really need a coffee break,” yawned Tom caffeine-lessly.
17. “I’ll just have to fake it ’til I make it,” joked Tom proficient-ly.
18. “I just can’t seem to get along with my coworkers,” grumbled Tom team-inimically.
19. “I never thought I’d end up in a cubicle,” pondered Tom square-ly.
20. “I better finish this report before the boss catches me procrastinating,” said Tom unproduct-ively.

Witty Workings: Hilarious Spoonerisms about the Daily Grind

1. “Purking at my desk” instead of “working at my desk”
2. “Bopsting my mind” instead of “mastering my boss”
3. “Baking breakfast” instead of “taking a break”
4. “Slaying prose” instead of “playing sports”
5. “Filing memos” instead of “smiling females”
6. “Climbing the stapler” instead of “stapling the climber”
7. “Sitting wolely” instead of “swilling slowly”
8. “Cherking mealives” instead of “merking achievements”
9. “Fighting bears” instead of “writing fares”
10. “Sailing shrews” instead of “shining shoes”
11. “Punching a tree” instead of “crunching a plea”
12. “Liking tires” instead of “tying laces”
13. “Bleeding spreadsheets” instead of “speeding bedsheets”
14. “Braining handcups” instead of “handing handcuffs”
15. “Pissing off work” instead of “kicking off work”
16. “Shirking meetings” instead of “meeting sharks”
17. “Swiping fartphones” instead of “typing smartphones”
18. “Lagging mugs” instead of “mugging lags”
19. “Whipping desks” instead of “dipping wells”
20. “Honing noses” instead of “nosing hones”

Bringing Some Office Humor: Knock, Knock Jokes (Knock, knock. Who’s there?) about Work

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just your boss asking for another report.
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ken. Ken who? Ken you please finish your work on time for once?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita work-free Friday!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? Cash me outside, how about that work deadline?
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan work out of the office today!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hawaii. Hawaii who? We should go on a work vacation to Hawaii.
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke at your desk, it’s a mess!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yoda. Yoda who? Yoda lay off some of this work.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owen. Owen who? Owen interests you in some overtime?
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Homer. Homer who? Homer-deposit this work into my bank account.
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for a much-needed break from work.
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin your cubicle neighbor’s lunch from the fridge again?
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah your boss is coming, quickly get back to work!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cher. Cher who? Cher up, it’s almost the weekend.
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and finish your work, it’s due tomorrow.
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda-work-free day, that’s what!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bea. Bea who? Bea-t the traffic to work today.
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alan. Alan who? Alan up for another coffee break?
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ida. Ida who? Ida quit my job if I didn’t have so much work to do.
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nathan. Nathan who? Nathan you do your job properly, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

Farewell, now back to our job pun-ditry!

Well folks, time to punch the clock on these 200+ jokes about work. Hopefully they gave you a laugh break from your never-ending to-do list. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, especially when dealing with your boss. If you’re still craving more work-related puns and jokes, be sure to check out our other posts. And always remember, the key to surviving work is a good sense of humor. Now, go back to your spreadsheets with a smile on your face. Happy laughing!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

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