Tick Tock Your Way to Laughter: 200+ Time Puns & Jokes

Welcome to the best list of time puns and jokes! Time flies when you’re having pun, so get ready for some clever and hilarious humor. These jokes are guaranteed to make you and your family laugh out loud, especially for kids who love a good giggle. From cheesy time puns to witty wordplay, this list has it all. So don’t waste any more time, let’s dive in and have a pun-tastic time together!

Tickle Your Funny Bone with These ‘Time’-ly Puns & Jokes – Our Top Picks!

1. Why did the clock get in trouble at school? Because it was two-timing!
2. I thought about going on a time traveling diet, but then I realized I’d just be losing time.
3. Did you hear about the clock that went on a diet? It lost an hour!
4. I used to have a fear of clocks, but I got over it in no time.
5. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
6. What did the watch say to the clock when it was feeling down? “Cheer up, we both have hands and faces!”
7. How does a penguin build a house? Igloos-it does not have much time.
8. Why did the man put his clock in the fireplace? Because he wanted to make time fly!
9. My friend wanted to open a watch store, but I told him there’s no time for that.
10. Did you hear about the athlete who quit his job to become a full-time timekeeper? He wanted to be a full-time watch.
11. I invented a new word: “Plagiarism.” It’s when someone uses your ideas but without giving you time for it.
12. Did you hear about the man who bought a paper second hand? He couldn’t catch up on the news!
13. How do you organize a space party? You planet ahead!
14. Why did the man join the clockmaking conspiracy? He wanted to take time off work.
15. Did you hear about the watch that climbed mountains? It was tickled pink!
16. I just found out that I’m not clock-oriented. I’m more hourglassy!
17. How can you tell if a clock is wise? It’s face is filled with wrinkles.
18. Did you hear about the time when the clock got sick? It had to take one tick day at a time.
19. Why did the archaeologist’s findings turn out to be false? Because he didn’t take into account for time’s changing hands.
20. How do you make a time machine? You gather all the clocks in your house and make a big time-line.

Tickle Your Funny ‘Time’ Bone: Hilarious One-Liner Jokes & Puns

1. Why was the clock worried? Because it didn’t want to face time.
2. I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
4. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
5. Did you hear about the time traveler who got lost on Halloween? He went two hours ago, but ended up going back an hour.
6. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
7. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
9. Why do mathematicians hate the number 6? Because 7, 8, 9.
10. I told my friend I saw a crocodile in a clock. He said, “That’s just a myth.”
11. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
12. I used to play the triangle in a reggae band, but I kept getting lost in the rhythm.
13. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
14. Why did the mummy go to the doctor? Because he was feeling wrapped up.
15. I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made of orange soda last night. It took me a while to wake up because it was a Fanta-sea.
16. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the stomach for it.
17. My wife started smoking because she thought it looked cool. Now I’m the one who has to look cool.
18. Why did the pony get detention? Because he was horsing around in class.
19. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
20. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.

Tick-Tock, Laugh O’Clock: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Time

1. “Time flies like an arrow, especially when you’re trying to hit snooze.”
2. “The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
3. “A watched clock never boils…but a watched pot somehow always does.”
4. “Time is like a book, the ending is always unexpected.”
5. “I make time for two things: naps and snacks.”
6. “Time is a great healer, but it’s also a sneaky thief.”
7. “The only time I exercise is when I accidentally forget dessert in the oven.”
8. “Better late than never, but best on time so you don’t have to deal with angry people.”
9. “They say time heals all wounds, but I’ll take revenge any day.”
10. “I think I’ve spent about 85% of my life waiting for something to load.”
11. “Haste makes waste, unless it’s a race to the last slice of pizza.”
12. “You can’t make up for lost time, but you can make up a good excuse.”
13. “Time is money, so can I get a refund for all the time I spent being broke?”
14. “I don’t procrastinate, I just prefer to do things fashionably late.”
15. “They say time is a great teacher, but it’s also a cruel examiner.”
16. “I run on caffeine and procrastination, which is basically just borrowed time.”
17. “They say time is precious, but I waste at least an hour a day deciding what to watch on Netflix.”
18. “I’m not aging, I’m just upgrading to the next version of myself.”
19. “Trying to catch up on sleep is like trying to catch a greased pig.”
20. “I don’t have a time management problem, I just have too many things I’d rather be doing.”

Tick-Talk: QnA Jokes & Puns about Time

1. Q: What did the clock do when it was hungry? A: It went back four seconds.
2. Q: How does a dog stop its clock from ticking? A: It puts its paws on the second hand.
3. Q: What time do you go to the dentist? A: Tooth-hurty.
4. Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
5. Q: What did the celery say when it broke up with its boyfriend? A: Time to turnip the beet.
6. Q: What’s the difference between a hippo and a clock? A: One is a heavyweight and the other is a weighty hour.
7. Q: How do you organize a space party? A: You planet.
8. Q: Why did the belt go to jail? A: For holding up a pair of pants.
9. Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it.
10. Q: What do you call a belt made out of watches? A: A waist of time.
11. Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? A: Because it was two-tired.
12. Q: Why did the tomato turn red? A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
13. Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogie in it.
14. Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? A: Bi-son.
15. Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? A: Tentickles.
16. Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeño business.
17. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investi-gator.
18. Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? A: Arrrgh!
19. Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A: A gummy bear.
20. Q: What did one flag say to the other flag? A: Nothing, it just waved.

Tickling Your Funny Bone: Dad Jokes & Puns about Time

1. Did you hear about the guy who invented the clock? He had a lot of time on his hands.
2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
4. I used to play piano by ear, but my fingers kept getting stuck in my ears.
5. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
7. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
8. I went to the doctor because I kept seeing spots in front of my eyes. He told me I was being forgetful.
9. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
10. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
11. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
12. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
13. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense.
14. I’m reading a book on the history of time travel… But I’m having a hard time getting into it.
15. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
16. My friend asked me if I could lend him $5 today, so I asked him about yesterday, and he said, “He can’t repay me until tomorrow”.
17. Did you hear about the origami store that went out of business? It folded.
18. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
19. Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
20. I don’t always tell dad jokes, but when I do, he laughs.

Tick Tock Talk: Time’s Best Double Entendres Puns!

1. “I’m not sure if I have enough time on my hands, or if time has too much of me on its hands.”
2. “Taking a nap? More like stealing time from tomorrow.”
3. “Why did the clock go to the therapist? Because it was tick-tocked.”
4. “Wasting time is an art form… but I’m not very artistic.”
5. “I thought I saw a clock standing on its hands, but it was just a bit past 6.”
6. “You know what they say about time flying? Well, it may fly but it also smacks into a lot of things.”
7. “I told my watch to stop being so dramatic, but it just kept ticking.”
8. “I don’t have time to be funny… wait, I actually have all the time in the world.”
9. “My boss said time is money. I guess that explains why I’m always broke.”
10. “I asked my wife when she wanted dinner… apparently ‘whenever’ is not a real time.”
11. “How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.”
12. “I thought I was stuck in a time loop, but it turns out I was just watching an old episode of Groundhog Day.”
13. “I have a lot of free time… if you consider procrastinating a hobby.”
14. “If time is money, then my bank account must be a black hole.”
15. “I don’t have a watch, but I do have a banana. It’s a fruit clock.”
16. “Old clockmakers never die, they just stop ticking.”
17. “Who needs daylight savings when you have coffee?”
18. “I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I do know what a clock looks like.”
19. “I’ve been on time once… it was an accident.”
20. “My life is like a broken clock… it’s right twice a day.”

Tick Tock, These Recursive Puns About Time Will Keep You Laughing Non-Stop

1. I tried to make a time travel joke, but you didn’t like it. It wasn’t your present.
2. I made a clock out of spaghetti, but it’s not very accurate. It’s always al dente.
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
4. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
5. Did you hear about the math teacher who was afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
6. I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it. It hasn’t happened yet.
7. Why couldn’t the bicycle fit through the door? It was too-tired.
8. I put my clock on a strict diet, but it just ended up running fast because it skipped a few seconds.
9. What do you get when you cross a clock and a chicken? An alarm cluck.
10. Did you hear about the scientist who was always late? He just couldn’t seem to quantum leap on time.
11. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
12. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
13. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”
14. What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you.
15. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bay-gulls.
16. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
17. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
18. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
19. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
20. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. Then I told her the joke was recursive and she still didn’t get it.

Tick Tock Talk: Embrace the Hilarity of Time Malapropisms

1. “He’s always running on hot chocolate instead of being on time.”
2. “I’ll be there in a scone, I mean, second.”
3. “I was feeling a little jet-lagged until I realized it was just my alarm clock.”
4. “I was setting my watch back and accidentally set it to winter instead of daylight savings.”
5. “I feel like a broken record player, I keep repeating the same appointment.”
6. “I need to hurry up and make reservations, time is fleeting.”
7. “I’m fashionably early this time around.”
8. “Don’t clock me, I’ll be here in a twitch of an eye.”
9. “It’s time for my daily dose of espresso, or as I like to call it, time management juice.”
10. “Sorry I’m late, my car was stuck in first gear due to a time crunch.”
11. “If we hurry we can make the movie in time, as long as nobody gets ticked off.”
12. “My boss always says I’m on borrowed time whenever I take a long lunch break.”
13. “I’m setting my alarm for 6 AM ‘firm’, not squishy like I usually do.”
14. “I hope there’s a clock at the party, I don’t want to miss the stroke of midnight.”
15. “I’m never late, I’m just chronologically challenged.”
16. “I feel like I’m stuck in a time travel movie trying to meet all these deadlines.”
17. “I can’t believe it’s four-thirty already, time sure does fly when you’re procrastinating.”
18. “I’ll be ready to leave in a flash, I mean, twinkle.”
19. “I always make it to work on a dime, I mean, a time.”
20. “Don’t watch me like a hawk, I’m giving myself a five minute grace brain before I leave.”

Running Out of ‘Time’ Tom Swifties: A Comedic Take on the Rush of Everyday Life

1. “I just invented a clock that runs on slime,” Tom said painstakingly.
2. “I’m always late to parties!” Tom exclaimed fashionably.
3. “I never have enough time to finish my experiments,” Tom muttered scientifically.
4. “I’ll be there in a jiffy,” Tom said promptly.
5. “I just learned how to time travel,” Tom said spaciously.
6. “Time flies when you’re having fun,” Tom joked playfully.
7. “I can’t believe you broke my watch,” Tom said hands down.
8. “I have to leave in five minutes,” Tom said momentarily.
9. “This time machine is going to change history,” Tom said presciently.
10. “I’ll call you back in a sec,” Tom said shortly.
11. “I’m always running out of time,” Tom said breathlessly.
12. “I’ll just pause the clock while I finish this task,” Tom said timelessly.
13. “I need more hours in a day!” Tom exclaimed timely.
14. “I invented a device that can slow down time,” Tom said leisurely.
15. “I’m never late, I just arrive fashionably late,” Tom quipped fashionably.
16. “There’s no time like the present,” Tom said presently.
17. “I can’t believe I’m meeting my future self,” Tom said time traveling.
18. “I’m starting to feel my age,” Tom said wistfully.
19. “I’ll be there in a sec…ond,” Tom said jokingly.
20. “I wish I could turn back the sands of time,” Tom said grain-ily.

Time for a Quick Quip: Spoonerisms about Time!

1. “Hock Tick” instead of “Tock Tick”
2. “Waste of Prime” instead of “Paste of Time”
3. “Pane of Thyme” instead of “Tane of Time”
4. “Lime is Money” instead of “Time is Money”
5. “Chime Flies” instead of “Time Flies”
6. “Lose Not Time” instead of “Use Not Time”
7. “Tide for Some” instead of “Time for Side”
8. “Minimal Thyme” instead of “Minimal Time”
9. “Fight of Thyme” instead of “Flight of Time”
10. “Crime Stands Still” instead of “Time Stands Still”
11. “Taste for Thine” instead of “Time for Thyne”
12. “Rome Stones” instead of “Time Zones”
13. “Dine Stands Still” instead of “Time Stands Still”
14. “Find for Thyme” instead of “Time for Find”
15. “Swine Stops for No One” instead of “Time Stops for No One”
16. “Mind the Say” instead of “Time to Say”
17. “Knot for Thyme” instead of “Time for Not”
18. “Blimey Bandits” instead of “Time Bandits”
19. “Fine is Mine” instead of “Time is Fine”
20. “Grind in Space” instead of “Time in Space”

Time to Laugh: Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Time. Time who? Time flies when you’re having fun!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chrono. Chrono who? Chrono-matic!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hour. Hour who? Hour you doing?
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Date. Date who? Date night, let’s party!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Minute. Minute who? Minute, please!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Future. Future who? Future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Week. Week who? Weekend is finally here!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Second. Second who? Second chances are a beautiful thing.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Day. Day who? Daylight savings time… Time to change those clocks!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Era. Era who? Era, era, era… Till the break of dawn!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Season. Season who? Seasons greeting to you!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pause. Pause who? Pause… And reflect on how funny this joke was!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yesterday. Yesterday who? Yesterday is in the past, let’s live for today!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Month. Month who? Month of Sundays just to get a laugh out of me!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Forecast. Forecast who? Forecast calls for more knock-knock jokes!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Timer. Timer who? Timer flies when you’re having a good time!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Prime. Prime who? Prime time for some laughter!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Period. Period who? Periodically, I come up with brilliant jokes like this.
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Age. Age who? Age is just a number, let’s have some fun!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Centuries. Centuries who? Centuries ago, these jokes were still funny!

Alright, it’s time to clock out (pun intended)

And that concludes our journey through the punny and timeless world of jokes about time. We hope this post gave you a good laugh and made you appreciate the pun-damental role that time plays in our lives. But don’t just take our word for it, check out our other related pun and joke posts for even more hilarious time-related humor. Remember, time may be fleeting, but a good joke is forever! Until we meet again, make every moment count and keep on laughing!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

Facebook Pinterest Threads X (Twitter) YouTube