Get Your Engine Running: 180+ Driving Jokes & Puns You’ll Want to Steer Towards!

Hey there, fellow drivers! Ready to rev up your engines and hit the road with some good old fashioned humor? Get ready to buckle up and join me on a hilarious joyride through some of the best puns about driving. From clever wordplay to positive punchlines, this list of jokes is guaranteed to have you in stitches. Whether you’re cruising with kids or hitting the highway solo, these driving jokes are the perfect fuel for a good laugh. Let’s hit the gas and dive into some gut-busting humor!

Rev Up Your Humor with These Top Driving Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

1. Why did the car get a flat tire? Because it was tired of driving!
2. I got stuck behind a slow driver the other day, it was like watching paint dry, but with more honking.
3. Did you hear about the car that went on strike? It demanded higher mileage and less traffic.
4. My friend is always talking about his love for cars, but I think it’s just a Dodge-y obsession.
5. I’m not saying my driving is bad, but the city has started charging me for road rage classes.
6. I thought about buying a self-driving car, but then I remembered I can barely trust myself to drive.
7. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change colors all day.
8. My car hasn’t been washed in so long, it’s starting to look like a camo-patterned Prius.
9. How do you find a lost car in the parking lot? You just have to look all around for the Civics.
10. I may not like speed bumps, but at least they slow down people who tailgate me.
11. Why was the driver so happy? Because he finally found his brake fluid, it was underneath the seat the whole time!
12. My mom always told me to drive safely, and now that I’m older I realize she just wanted me to be her personal chauffeur.
13. Have you ever noticed that the word “transportation” could also be spelled “traffiction”?
14. People say I drive like I’m in a race, but they don’t understand how important it is to beat the merge lane.
15. Why did the car go to therapy? It had an axle disorder.
16. My car may have some dents and scrapes, but it just adds character and personality.
17. Did you hear about the new hybrid car that runs on sarcasm? It’s called the “Sarchari”.
18. What do you get when you mix a car and a phone? A “carr-iPhone”.
19. I tried to tell a joke about cars, but it just drove me crazy.
20. They say drivers tend to take after their cars, so I guess that makes me a hybrid of a slow Prius and a speeding Ferrari.

Rev Up the Laughter with These Hilarious ‘Funny Driving’ One-Liner Jokes!

1. Why did the driver send his car to anger management? It had road rage!
2. I tried to make a car out of spaghetti, but it was pasta-trophic.
3. Did you hear the joke about the car? It was tired.
4. The brakes on my car are so dumb, they fell for a fake stop sign.
5. My therapist told me to stay away from cars…they drive me crazy.
6. I used to think driving with my knees was impressive…until I spilled my coffee.
7. The streetlights in my town must be on drugs, they never change when I’m running late.
8. Why did the car go to therapy? It was feeling hindered.
9. I accidentally locked my keys inside my car, so now it’s a con-car-tina.
10. How do you know when a car is listening to music? It’s tun-ed.
11. I got pulled over for going one mile over the speed limit… talk about speed-killing!
12. My car’s nickname is Manny because it’s an automatic.
13. Why did the cars go to couples therapy? They couldn’t get into gear.
14. I thought about getting a custom license plate, but I didn’t want to make my car too t-p-unique.
15. Why did the driver take his car to the doctor? It was feeling a bit run down.
16. I’m convinced my car has a personality… it’s always steering me in the wrong direction.
17. I don’t get car sick, I get roadsick… driving just isn’t my lane.
18. My ex-wife used to call me a drive-through window… because I always had fast food in the passenger seat.
19. I’m trying to teach my car some manners, but it still insists on honking instead of saying ‘excuse me’.
20. Why did the car’s owner buy a digital scale? To weigh its horsepower.

Rev Up Your Sense of Humor with these QnA Jokes & Puns about Driving!

1. What did the car say to the other car at the stoplight? “You better buckle up, I’m about to take off!”
2. Why did the hipster refuse to get a driver’s license? Because he didn’t want to be “mainstream.”
3. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from my terrible driving!
4. What do you call a car that can do magic tricks? A car-di!
5. Why did the driver get arrested? They were operating a moving violation!
6. How do you make a parked car jump? Put a frog in the ignition!
7. What do you call a dog driving a car? A barkmobile!
8. How many car mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it’ll cost you an arm and a leg!
9. What kind of car does a baker drive? A flour-dough!
10. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
11. What do you get if you cross a car with a bike? A road hog!
12. How do you know when a clown is driving? They’re always honking their nose at you!
13. What do you call a blind dinosaur driving a car? A tyrannosaurus wreck!
14. Why was the car’s check engine light always on? The engine had stage fright!
15. What do you do when you see a space car? Park your earth car!
16. Why did the banana go to traffic court? It got caught peeling out!
17. What’s a car’s favorite type of music? Brake-dance!
18. What did the stop sign say to the car? “Stop and smell the flowers!”
19. What did the green light say to the red light? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!”
20. What’s a car’s favorite fruit? A transmission!

Rev Up the Laughs with These Dad Jokes About Driving

1. Why did the driver take a detour? Because he wanted to get off the beaten path!
2. I used to hate math, but then I realized it’s all about driving a point home.
3. What do you call a group of rabbits driving in a car? A hare-ride.
4. Did you hear about the chauffeur who went to jail? He was charged with driving under the influence!
5. How can you tell if a tree is a good driver? It stays in its lane.
6. What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion.
7. Why was the road so sad? Because people would always walk all over it.
8. Did you hear about the driver who forgot to buckle his seatbelt? He was really strapped for time.
9. Why did the car go for a swim? To get to the other tide.
10. I told my wife I wanted a day off from driving. She said, “You can’t just take it for granite”.
11. My wife hates it when I drive too fast. She says I’m always in “su-subaru” mode.
12. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
13. What do you call a car that tells dad jokes instead of beeping? A Honda Civic.
14. How many drivers does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it takes 10 minutes for them to find the right adapter.
15. Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat? Because if they fell forward, they’d just land in the boat.
16. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
17. How many NBA players does it take to change a flat tire? Just one, but they’ll all show up to act like they did something.
18. What do you call a car that’s wearing a vest? A jacket!
19. Why couldn’t the bicycle make it up the hill? It was a bi-cycle.
20. What do you call a blind driver? Ray Charles’ chauffeur.

Get ready to buckle up your seatbelts and giggle along with these ‘Driving’ Puns & Jokes for Kids!

1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
2. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
3. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
5. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense.
6. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
7. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
8. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
9. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
10. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
11. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
12. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
13. Why don’t vampires brush their teeth? They prefer to use a fangbrush.
14. Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was “running” behind.
15. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.
16. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
17. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
18. What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator.
19. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
20. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.

Steer into Laughter with these Hilarious Quotes about Driving!

1. “I drive so slow, I think I’m being passed by snails on roller skates.”
2. “Driving is like a game of chess, except the pieces are big metal boxes and everyone is trying to cut you off.”
3. “Whoever said patience is a virtue, clearly never had to follow a slow driver on a one-lane road.”
4. “Tailgating is just a fancy way of saying ‘My car doesn’t have turn signals’.”
5. “My car is like my own personal bubble of sanity in this crazy world, until I hit traffic.”
6. “Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways? The mysteries of driving never cease.”
7. “Riding shotgun is just a fancy way of saying ‘My co-pilot sleeps while I panic’.”
8. “If parallel parking was an Olympic sport, I’d have enough gold medals to pay for a parking spot.”
9. “I don’t need a GPS, I have my own terrible sense of direction to rely on.”
10. “My car has a great feature for when I’m lost – it’s called ‘asking for directions’.”
11. “Driving is the only time you’re allowed to talk to yourself and not be considered crazy.”
12. “I’d rather drive in reverse for an entire road trip than navigate through construction zones.”
13. “If you can read this, you’re too close. Unless you’re my crush, then please continue.”
14. “I don’t need a chauffeur, I have my own two feet and a gas pedal.”
15. “As a parent, I have mastered the art of yelling at the kids while simultaneously staying within the lines.”
16. “My car isn’t just a mode of transportation, it’s a mobile dining room and concert venue.”
17. “My driving skills are comparable to that of a squirrel trying to cross a busy street.”
18. “If my driving instructor could see me now, he’d probably revoke my license.”
19. “I must be getting old, because I get more excited about finding a good parking spot than I do about getting a promotion.”
20. “I thought road rage was just a made-up concept until I drove through rush hour traffic.”

Rolling with Laughter: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Driving

1. ) “A bad driver always blames their GPS, but a good driver knows it’s just a ‘Guided Path to Stupidity.'”
2. ) “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it parallel park.”
3. ) “The early bird gets the worm, but the late driver never hits traffic.”
4. ) “A penny saved is a penny earned, unless you’re paying for gas on the highway.”
5. ) “Faster isn’t always better, unless you’re trying to outrun a yellow light.”
6. ) “Life is a highway, but I’m still stuck at the on-ramp.”
7. ) “A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor, but a smooth drive sure makes a skilled driver.”
8. ) “Better safe than sorry, but let’s be real – who actually follows the speed limit?”
9. ) “Never judge a driver by their car, unless it’s a minivan, then they definitely have kids.”
10. ) “A rolling stone gathers no moss, but a rolling car sure gathers speeding tickets.”
11. ) “The grass is always greener on the other side, especially when it’s an HOV lane.”
12. ) “Actions speak louder than words, but honking speaks even louder.”
13. ) “A watched pot never boils, but a watched left turn arrow will never turn green.”
14. ) “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but you can teach an old driver how to use a turn signal.”
15. ) “A stitch in time saves nine, but a good parking spot saves at least ten minutes of circling the lot.”
16. ) “Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it sure can feel like it was when stuck in traffic.”
17. ) “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When honked at, make road rage.”
18. ) “Patience is a virtue, but so is passing slow drivers on the right.”
19. ) “A watched pot never boils, but a watched car never finds a parking spot.”
20. ) “You have to crawl before you can walk, but you have to drive before you can swear at other drivers.”

Drive Your Friends Crazy with These Hilarious ‘Driving’ Double Entendres Puns

1. “I really blew a tire last night.”
2. “I love cruising in the fast lane.”
3. “I’ve never been good at parallel parking, I always end up in a tight spot.”
4. “My car’s horsepower is no match for my coffee intake.”
5. “I’m always running late, I guess you could say I have a lead foot.”
6. “I feel like my car is my therapist, I always end up talking to it.”
7. “My brakes are like my love life, constantly under pressure.”
8. “Sorry officer, I didn’t see the speed limit through my rose-tinted windows.”
9. “Driving on a highway is like a game of dodgeball, but with cars.”
10. “I avoid tailgating, but I love tailgating.”
11. “I think I need to take a crash course in driving.”
12. “My car may not be the latest model, but it’s still got some moves.”
13. “I’m not speeding, I’m just living in the fast lane.”
14. “I’m pretty sure my car has a mind of its own, it always takes me where I need to go, even if I didn’t plan on it.”
15. “I’m not drunk, just trying to swerve out of potholes.”
16. “I always get lost in my thoughts when driving, luckily GPS keeps me on track.”
17. “My car is like a family member, I spend more time with it than anyone else.”
18. “I guess you could say I have road rage issues, but only when someone doesn’t use their turn signal.”
19. “I have a lead foot and a leaded gas problem.”
20. “Driving can be a real drag, but at least gas prices are low.”

Rev up for a Joyride of Recursive Puns about Driving!

1. Why did the bear start driving? Because he got tired of paw-ing the bus.
2. I wanted to become a chauffeur, but I didn’t have the drive.
3. I’m steering clear of driving puns, they just keep circling back.
4. My car broke down because it had a flat tire, so I had to call AAAA.
5. I tried honking at a clown while driving, but he just kept juggling.
6. My sister’s car is always sick, it has a chronic tire-dness problem.
7. I asked my friend what type of car he wants and he said “I don’t know, I’m not very van-ty.”
8. Why did the ghost go for a drive? Because it wanted to scare up some gas.
9. The mechanic told me to keep the tires inflated, but I just couldn’t handle the pressure.
10. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the car dealership.
11. I couldn’t remember what type of car I had, but then it came to me in a flash-drive.
12. My GPS got lost while driving, so I had to use my com-passenger.
13. I went to a monster truck rally and was blown away by the ex-haustral activity.
14. I asked my driver which way to go and he said “you tell me, you’re the one in the driver’s seat.”
15. Did you hear about the car that was powered by butane? It was a gas guzzler.
16. I’m tired of seeing cars with huge spoilers, it’s just a real wing-ding.
17. Every time I have to merge onto the highway, I get anxiety like it’s rush hour-icane.
18. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change all those bulbs.
19. My friend’s car is so old, it has an eight track player but no brakes.
20. I tried to use my car to go back in time, but all it did was go in reverse.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? A speeding ticket waiting to happen!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Taxi. Taxi who? Taxi your seatbelt, we’re hitting the road!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pothole. Pothole who? Pothole be careful driving on these roads!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honk. Honk who? Honk if you love driving!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Detour. Detour who? Detour here and take a different route!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dashboard. Dashboard who? Dashboard any good driving tips for me?
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Traffic. Traffic who? Traffic ahead, turn off at the next exit!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cruise. Cruise who? Cruise control is your best friend on long drives!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rearview. Rearview who? Rearview mirror, because objects in mirror are closer than they appear!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? License. License who? License and registration please!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fuel. Fuel who? Fuel up before we hit the open road!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Highway. Highway who? Highway or the scenic route?
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Truck. Truck who? Truck yeah, let’s hit the open road!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Road trip. Road trip who? Road trip around the world, anyone?
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Parking. Parking who? Parking can be a nightmare in the city!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Turn signal. Turn signal who? Turn signal before you change lanes, please!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Off-ramp. Off-ramp who? Off-ramp for gas and snacks!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Speeding. Speeding who? Speeding away from my responsibilities, whoops!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Highway patrol. Highway patrol who? Highway patrol, I swear I wasn’t speeding!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Driver. Driver who? Driver of this vehicle, reporting for duty!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rest stop. Rest stop who? Rest stop and stretch your legs, we have a long drive ahead of us!

Hitting the Road, but not the Brakes: Driving Puns!

Well folks, I hope you’ve enjoyed riding along with these 180+ hilarious driving puns! Whether you’re a road warrior or a backseat driver, there’s something here to tickle your funny bone. And if you’re craving more laughs, be sure to check out our other puns and joke posts, because we all know the ultimate drive is down Punderful Lane. So buckle up and keep those puns rolling!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

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