Welcome aboard, fellow joke-lovers! If you’re looking for some clever and positive humor, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve compiled a list of the best sailor puns for kids (and adults, let’s be real) that will have you rolling on the deck with laughter. These funny jokes about sailors are guaranteed to brighten up your day and leave you feeling shipshape. So, without further ado, get ready to set sail on a journey full of hilarious puns about those daring sailors. Anchors aweigh!
Sailor or Later, These Hilarious Puns & Jokes Will Have You Knot Overboard – Editor’s Picks
- Why was the sailor so good at math? He could always navigate the course!
- How do sailors communicate? They sea-mail each other!
- Did you hear about the sailor who won the lottery? He was able to buy himself a yacht!
- What did the sea say to the sailor? Nothing, it just waved!
- Why don’t sailors like to swim in the ocean? Because they don’t want to be a-water!
- What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music? Sea shanties, of course!
- How does a sailor know when it’s time for dinner? When the anchor’s a-weigh!
- What do you call a group of sailors? A navy!
- Why did the sailor join the gym? He wanted to get in ship shape!
- How do sailors stay warm on cold nights at sea? They snuggle up in their hammocks!
- Why couldn’t the sailor pay for his meal? He was a little short on buoys!
- What’s a sailor’s favorite type of cookie? Ocean’s eleven!
- Why did the sailor buy a parrot? He wanted a first mate that could squawk!
- What did the sailor say when he saw a dolphin? That’s some fin-tastic marine life!
- How did the sailor fix his broken boat? With some sea-ment!
- What’s a sailor’s favorite type of cereal? Captain Crunch!
- Why did the sailor get seasick? He hadn’t learned the ropes yet!
- What do you call a crab that has become a sailor? A shellback!
- Why was the sailor always late for work? He had trouble finding his sea-legs in the morning!
- How do sailors communicate on land? They use semaphore-aphores!
Laugh Your Way to the High Seas with These Funny Sailor One-Liner Jokes
- Why did the sailor quit his job? Because he didn’t want to be part of the navy (Knavy) anymore.
- What did the sailor say when he saw a boat with a hole in it? It’s a shipwreck-all (ship reckoning) now.
- I didn’t understand navy terms, but then it all came into ships (focus).
- Why did the sailor go to college? To major in oars if (oar-ology).
- How does a pirate start his day? With a ship (cup) of coffee.
- A good sailor must be able to navigate the sea and also know how to tell the tide (jokes).
- Why did the sailor give up on his dream of becoming a captain? The seas (seize) were rough.
- My friend was afraid to join the navy at first, but now he’s all aboard (on board).
- People often mistake sailors for doctors, because they both know how to tie knots (nauts) and cure people.
- What did the sailor’s wife say when he left for a long voyage? I’ll miss you a boat (a lot).
- The sailor’s favorite genre of music? Sea (psy) shanties.
- Why did the lighthouse fall in love with the sailor? It was a shore (sailor) thing.
- What do sailors use to make phone calls? Dock (dock) tones.
- Why did the sailor refuse to anchor (en-courage) his ship? He was afraid of getting old and rusty.
- How does a sailor make his bed? With sheets (ships) and pillow (pier) cases.
- Why did the sailor prefer to eat alone? He didn’t want any crew (kerfuffle).
- What do you call a group of sailors singing together? A sea (sing) chanty.
- The sailor’s wife told him to stop buying so many boats, but he said he was just trying to make ends (Yachts) meet.
- What did the crab say to the sailor? Sea (see) you on the other side.
- Why did the sailor get fired from his job? He couldn’t keep a straight (strait) face.
Ahoy Matey! QnA Jokes & Puns about Sailors to Keep You Afloat!
- Q: Why did the sailor take his parrot on every voyage? A: Because he couldn’t afford to hire a lawyer!
- Q: How does a sailor communicate with land? A: By using a WiFi-sail!
- Q: What did the sailor say when he couldn’t find the bathroom on the ship? A: “I guess I’ll just have to wait for the next sea-ttle stop!”
- Q: What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music? A: Sea shanties, of course!
- Q: Why did the sailor audition for the singing competition? A: He wanted to be the next sea-idol!
- Q: How does a sailor like his coffee? A: Seattled!
- Q: What did the sailor do when he saw a storm approaching? A: Keel calm and sail on!
- Q: What’s a sailor’s favorite social media platform? A: Tide-er!
- Q: How does a sailor navigate through thick fog? A: With his see-eye GPS!
- Q: What do sailors use to wash their laundry onboard? A: Tide-us pods!
- Q: Why was the sailor afraid of going near the beach? A: Because he heard the sand was armed!
- Q: What did the sailor say when he got seasick? A: “I’m feeling a bit marooned!”
- Q: How does a pirate greet a sailor? A: “Ahoy there, matey!”
- Q: What do you call a group of sailors who constantly argue with each other? A: A salty crew!
- Q: What did the sailor’s wife say to him when he swore while repairing the ship’s mast? A: “Watch your language, this is a family plank!
- Q: What do you call a sailor who’s also a clown? A: A jolly roger!
- Q: How did the sailor respond when someone asked him how he got his ship? A: “I won it in a sale!”
- Q: Why did the sailor refuse to eat the fish he caught? A: Because it was too fishy!
- Q: What did the sailor say to his first mate when they spotted a mermaid? A: “Prepare to be boarded!”
- Q: How does a sailor keep his bathroom clean on the ship? A: With scrub-a-dub-deck!
Set Sail with Laughter: Dad Jokes about Sailors
- Why did the sailor invest in a new boat? Because his old one was ‘ship’wrecked!
- What did the sailor say when he hit an iceberg? ‘Ice’berg ahead!
- Did you hear about the sailor who fell overboard? He ended up ‘in-tide’ the wrong way!
- Why did the sailor go to the doctor? He had ‘sea’-sickness!
- What do you call a boat that’s made entirely out of wood? A ‘tree’mendous vessel!
- Why did the sailor refuse to leave the dock? He was afraid of ‘body’ of water!
- How do sailors communicate with each other? Through ‘sea’-o-graphy!
- Did you hear about the sailor who ended up on a deserted island? He was ‘island’ alone!
- What’s a sailor’s favorite drink? ‘Sea’ tea!
- Why is the ocean always so calm around sailors? Because they ‘sea’ the best in others!
- Did you hear about the sailor who got stuck in a whirlpool? He was ‘circling’ the drain!
- What did the captain say when the crew asked for a raise? ‘Ship’ up or ‘ship’ out!
- Why did the sailor get arrested at port? He was ‘harbor’in’ illegal goods!
- What did the ocean say to the sailor? Nothing, it just ‘waits’ to be explored!
- Why was the sailor always late for dinner? He was ‘boat’ up in traffic!
- What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music? ‘Sea’ shanties, of course!
- How do sailors stay in shape? By lifting ‘bouys’ at sea!
- Why did the sailor start a garden on his boat? So he could have ‘sea’ven fresh vegetables!
- What did the sailor say when his ship sank? ‘Oh buoy’, that was unexpected!
- Why did the sailor join the navy? He wanted to ‘sea’ the world!
Ahoy Little Mates: Set Sail with These Hilarious ‘Sailor’ Puns & Jokes for Kids!
- What did the sailor say to his ship when it kept rocking back and forth? “Stop being so unstable, you’re making me seasick!”
- Why doesn’t the ocean like to play with the sailors? Because it’s afraid they’ll wave goodbye!
- How do sailors stay in shape? They do anchor-nastics!
- Why did the sailor bring a tub of margarine on his long voyage? In case he needed to butter up Captain Hook!
- What do you call a group of sailors singing in unison? A choir-ful of seamen!
- What did one sailor say to the other when they were stuck in a storm? “This is quite the anchor-gy!”
- How do sailors communicate with each other across long distances? They use shellphones!
- What did the sailor say when he finally found a place to dock his ship? “I finally port, so let’s leave this sea-lly business behind!”
- How do you know when a sailor is lying? His pants are always in-knots!
- Why did the sailor get seasick while reading a book? Because it was full of sea-tales!
- What do you call a pirate who’s also a musician? A sail-er of fortune!
- What did the sailor say to his shipmate who was feeling down? “Cheer up, matey, you’re not the only one feeling blue out here on the ocean!”
- How do sailors make phone calls? They use a shell-ular network!
- Why did the sailor go crazy on deck? Because he was going schooner or later!
- What did the ocean say to the sailor before they parted ways? “Wish you were here!”
- How do you know if a sailor is an expert navigator? He’s always on course!
- What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music? Sea shanties, of course!
- Why did the sailor start talking to his shoes? Because they were boat shoes!
- What do you call a tiny sailboat? A spooner!
- Why did the sailor put his money in a jar of mayo? He wanted to save for a yacht!
Sailor-iously Hilarious: Funny Quotes about Sailors!
- “Sailors may have rough seas, but their ship always comes in…eventually.”
- “Being a sailor is like being in a constant state of motion sickness – you never know which way is up.”
- “Sailing: the art of getting wet and becoming irrationally attached to a piece of wood.”
- “A good sailor knows how to ride the waves, but a great sailor brings snacks for the journey.”
- “Sailing is just like life, except you can’t reset the game when you get lost.”
- “Sailors have the sea in their blood, and salt stains on their favorite t-shirts.”
- “If you’re looking for stability, don’t become a sailor – you’ll constantly be rocking the boat.”
- “It’s not a true sailing adventure until someone gets hit in the face with a flying fish.”
- Some people follow their hearts, sailors follow the wind.
- Being a sailor means having the best sea views, but also the worst bathroom facilities.
- “Sailors: the original wanderlusters, chasing the horizon one port at a time.”
- “The only way to truly escape your problems is to become a sailor and sail to a deserted island.”
- “A sailor’s boat may be small, but their sense of adventure is limitless.”
- “Sailors have a special talent for turning any phrase into a sailing metaphor.”
- “The perfect job for those with a love of the sea and a high tolerance for fishy smells – sailor.”
- “Life is like sailing, you have to learn to navigate through the storms to reach your destination.”
- “Sailors have a way with waves, and an even better way with rum.”
- Sailing: where wifi is weak, but connections with nature and yourself are strong.
- “Not all who wander are lost, some are just sailors without a GPS.”
- “The ocean may be unpredictable, but so are sailors – anything can happen on the open water.”
Smooth Sailing: Hilarious Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Sailors
- A sailor’s best friend is the sea – and his trusty parrot.
- A sailor’s life is full of ups and downs, but he always finds a way to keep afloat.
- A sailor is never lost at sea, he’s just exploring new horizons.
- A sailor without a sense of humor is like a ship without a captain.
- A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor, but it sure does make for a peaceful journey.
- A true sailor knows that the world is his oyster, and the sea is his playground.
- Only a sailor can truly appreciate the beauty of a storm at sea.
- The best way to learn how to sail is to fall overboard a few times.
- Behind every great sailor is a stash of rum and a good map.
- A stormy sea breeds brave sailors and seasick landlubbers.
- A sailor’s love for the sea is as deep as the ocean and as boundless as the horizon.
- It takes more than just a good boat to make a great sailor.
- A true sailor knows that the best view comes from the top of the mast.
- A sailor’s definition of paradise is a hammock, a tropical breeze, and a cold beer.
- The worst day at sea is still better than the best day on land.
- No storm can last forever, and neither can a sailor’s bad luck.
- A sailor’s muscles may ache, but his heart is always full of adventure.
- The only thing more unpredictable than the sea is a sailor’s sense of humor.
- A calm sea never made a sailor tell an interesting story.
- The only thing that can stop a sailor from adventuring is the call of duty.
Setting Sail with Sailor-Approved Double Entendres and Seaworthy Puns
- “Why did the sailor get into trouble on the ship? Because he couldn’t keep his seamen in line.”
- “What did the sailor say when he saw a beautiful mermaid? ‘I’m feeling quite shipwrecked over you!'”
- “Why did the sailor go bankrupt? Because he kept buying too many new ports.”
- “Why was the sailor always getting tangled in his fishing nets? He couldn’t resist all the naughty sea cucumbers.”
- “What did the sailor say when his date asked him to take her to a fancy seafood restaurant? ‘I don’t know if I can afford it, I’m just a poor seaman.'”
- “Why did the sailor refuse to swim in the shallow end of the pool? He was used to deep waters.”
- “What did the sailor say when his friend asked how he got so muscular? ‘Just a lot of anchor lifting and yardarm swinging.'”
- “Why was the sailor’s girlfriend always cold? Because he kept telling her to ‘batten down the hatches.'”
- “What did the sailor say when his captain asked why he had a parrot on his shoulder? ‘It’s for when my ship comes in.'”
- “Why did the sailor have trouble sleeping on board? Because he kept dreaming of mermaids singing him lullabies.”
- “What did the sailor say when he got caught in a storm? ‘Well, this is a bit rougher than my usual sea shanties.'”
- “Why did the sailor always wear his lucky socks when setting sail? Because he didn’t want to jinx his voyage by having cold feet.”
- “What did the sailor say when his friend asked how he avoided seasickness? ‘I just keep my sea legs moving.'”
- “Why did the sailor decide to become a captain? He wanted to be in charge of his own ship and have a say in all the booty.”
- “What did the sailor say when his friend asked how he dealt with the monotony of long voyages? ‘I have a treasure chest filled with dirty jokes to keep me entertained.'”
- “Why did the sailor join the navy? He wanted to see the world and make some salty puns along the way.”
- “What did the sailor say when asked about his swimming abilities? ‘I can tread water for days, I’m just a pro at keeping my head above sealevel.'”
- “Why did the sailor refuse to use a map when sailing? Because he preferred to navigate by the stars in his first mate’s eyes.”
- “What did the sailor say when asked how he ended up on a deserted island? ‘I guess I just LOST my way.'”
- “Why did the sailor get in trouble with the pirate crew? He kept stealing all the booty and calling it ‘bootylicious’.”
Sea the Humor: Recursive Puns about Sailor-ing to New Heights
- Why did the sailor go back to school? Because he wanted to learn knots and bolts.
- How does a sailor fix his ship? With a sea-saw.
- What did the sailor say when stranded on a desert island? “I’m all in knots!”
- Why did the sailor get a job at a bakery? He wanted to work with dough-mains.
- What do you call a group of sailors discussing their next voyage? A brainstorm.
- How does a sailor greet his friends in the morning? “Ahoy-ning!”
- Why did the sailor quit his job on the tugboat? He couldn’t handle the tension.
- What did the sailor say when his ship got stuck in the sand? “I guess we’re on a sticky-wicket.”
- How does a sailor fix a broken compass? With needle and thread.
- Why did the sailor always bring his cat aboard the ship? For mew-tiny.
- What did the sailor say when he saw someone littering in the ocean? “That’s not very marina.”
- How does a sailor make coffee on the ship? With a caffeine sail.
- Why did the sailor join a band? He wanted to be a sea-bass player.
- What does a sailor use to do laundry on the ship? A wash deck.
- Why did the sailor buy new shoes before going on a long voyage? He wanted to be ship-shape.
- How did the sailor win the poker game on board? He had the best “hand-y” cards.
- What did the sailor say when asked if he knew how to swim? “I’m a pro-fish-anal.”
- How does a sailor remember important dates? With a mariner-y assistant.
- Why did the sailor always go to the same restaurant on shore leave? He was hooked on the seafood.
- What did the sailor say when his friend asked for a fishing tip? “Just trust your gut, or else you’ll end up in cod-ulsions.”
Knock, knock. Who’s there? A sailor! Ahoy there for some sea-worthy knock-knock jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-ly you can see how funny this joke is!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-tenly it’s time for a good laugh!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-tainly not a boring joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor you ready for a joke?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-y jokes are always the best!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-menly, this is one funny joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-ing the seven seas looking for more jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-iously, this is one of the funniest jokes I’ve heard!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-liness can be found in the silliest of jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-viving the day with laughter and jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-ious about finding the funniest joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-d you have a good time with this joke?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-tainly going to be laughing at this one!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-rific joke, am I right?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-larious jokes are my specialty!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-prise, it’s another hilarious joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-y to say, but this joke is too funny!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-tunity to tell a joke like this doesn’t come around often!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-ted for some more silly jokes?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor-lute to the funniest joke of the day!
Sail away with our shipload of puns!
Ahoy, landlubbers! We’ve reached the end of the sea-worthy journey through jokes and puns about sailors. Whether you’re a salty old sea dog or just enjoy a good lighthouse laugh, we hope these jokes have kept you afloat. Don’t let this be the end of your nautical humor adventures, be sure to check out our other posts for more pun-tastic entertainment. And remember, why was the sailor always so happy? Because he lived his life one wave at a time! Thanks for sailing along with us.