Welcome to the holy grail of all things guacamole and pun-ny, our list of the best avocado puns! If you’re a guac fanatic like us, then you know that avocados are a gift from the avocado heavens. But did you also know they are a major source of humor? That’s right, we’ve gathered a list of clever and positive puns about avocados that will have you cracking up faster than you can mash a ripe avocado. So grab your chips and prepare to be guac-a-mazed by these hilarious jokes. Lettuce begin!
Guac ‘n’ Roll with These Hilarious Avocado Puns – Editor’s Ripe for the Picking!
- Why did the avocado go on a diet? It wanted to get into avocado shape.
- What did the avocado say when it fell in love? You are the missing pit of my life.
- How did the avocado propose to its partner? With a guaca-ring.
- What did the avocado say when it saw its reflection? Holy guacamole, I look good!
- What did the avocado say to the other fruit at the party? Avocuddle with me.
- Why did the avocado go to therapy? It wanted to work on its self-peel.
- What did the avocado say when it won an award? I am so hummus-ted.
- Why did the avocado go to the gym? To get those avo-cardio gains.
- What did the avocado say to its friend who was having a rough day? Don’t worry, everything will turn out avo-kay.
- How do you know if an avocado is ripe? It gives a little squeeze-tion.
- What did the avocado say to the lettuce on their first date? You are so beautiful, I can’t kale-lieve it.
- Why did the avocado join a dating site? It was looking for its perfect pear.
- What did the avocado say when it got a promotion? I guess you could say I’m now the CEO of Avo-cardly.
- Why did the avocado go to college? To get a higher avo-cation degree.
- What did the avocado say after a bad day at work? I’m just feeling a little cri-sad-o.
- Why did the avocado break up with its partner? They weren’t on the same page, one was ready for avo-commitment and the other wasn’t.
- What do you call an avocado wearing a cape? A guaca-hero.
- What did the avocado say to its therapist? I’m feeling a little jalapeno-emotional.
- Why did the avocado go to the dentist? It had a lot of pit problems.
- What did the avocado say when it bumped into the banana? Sorry, I didn’t mean to avo-cado you.
Guac the Talk: Hilarious Avocado Puns to Keep You Laughing and Munching!
- Why did the avocado refuse to date the olive? Because he already found his perfect match!
- What did the avocado say to the tomato who kept picking on him? “You’re really starting to get on my pit!”
- Why did the avocado go to therapy? He was dealing with a lot of emotional bag-guacge.
- How does an avocado propose to his love? With a shiny, rock hard pit!
- Did you hear about the avocado who wanted a baby? He was told it was too ‘avocado’ season!
- How did the avocado fix his broken heart? With some guac therapy!
- Why is the avocado always in a good mood? Because he’s always ripe and ready to go!
- What do you call a group of healthy avocados hanging out together? A brunch of fit pits!
- Why can’t you trust an avocado to keep a secret? Because he always spills the guac!
- How does the avocado stay so cool under pressure? He always has a calm exterior, even when he’s feeling ‘avo-crazy’ inside!
- Why did the avocado feel so great about himself? Because he knew guac bottom, he was still an amazing fruit!
- How does the avocado like to be woken up in the morning? With some avocado toast and a side of salsa music!
- Why did the avocado start a fitness routine? He wanted to be in tip-top shape for swimsuit season!
- What did the avocado say when he won an award? “Holy guacamole, I can’t believe it!”
- Why did the avocado win an accolade for his acting career? Because he always knows how to put on a good scene!
- How does the avocado prefer his coffee? With a sprinkle of cinnamon and a splash of almond milk!
- Why did the avocado get invited to all the parties? Because he knows how to guac and roll!
- How does the avocado handle tough situations? He keeps a level head and thinks ‘avo-card’ before making any decisions!
- Why did the avocado fall for the onion? Because he just couldn’t resist her ‘tear-jerking’ beauty!
- How does the avocado like to relax after a long day? With a bubble bath, a glass of wine, and some good ‘guac talk’!
Avocuddle Up with These Hilarious QnA Jokes & Puns about ‘Avacado’!
- Q: Why did the avacado go to the doctor? A: Because it was feeling a little under pressure!
- Q: What do you call an avacado that’s always on the run? A: A “fast-cado”!
- Q: How does an avacado get in shape? A: By doing avo-cardio!
- Q: What did one avacado say to the other when they bumped into each other? A: “Guac-ward much?”
- Q: Why did the avacado start a band? A: Because it wanted to make some guac and roll music!
- Q: Why was the avacado bad at telling jokes? A: Because it always split its punchlines!
- Q: How do you make an expensive avacado? A: Just add a “v” and make it an “avo-cardo”!
- Q: What’s an avacado’s favorite holiday? A: St. Patr-avo’s Day!
- Q: How do you know if an avacado is ready to be eaten? A: It’ll give a gentle squeeze back!
- Q: What’s an avacado’s favorite type of TV show? A: Guac-umentaries!
- Q: What did the avacado say when it saw its reflection in the mirror? A: “Holy guacamole, I look good!”
- Q: Why did the avacado go to therapy? A: It was having serious issues with commitment – it couldn’t avo-commit!
- Q: What did the avacado say to the tomato? A: “You’re pretty ripe yourself!”
- Q: Why did the avacado get kicked out of the costume party? A: It was too “seed”uctive!
- Q: How does an avacado like its eggs? A: Avocado-cado style!
- Q: What did the avacado major in at college? A: Guac-onomics!
- Q: Why was the avacado a great detective? A: Because it could always crack the case!
- Q: How does an avacado keep its cool? A: By staying “avo-calm”!
- Q: What’s an avacado’s favorite game? A: Smashed-cado!
- Q: How do you make a guacamole candle? A: Just light an avacado on fire – it’ll burn for hours!
Avocad-no Arguments: A Mash-t Have on the Menu!
- “A ripe avocado a day keeps the doctor away.”
- “An avocado a day keeps the guacamole cravings at bay.”
- “An avocado in hand is worth two on the tree.”
- “You can lead an avocado to water, but you can’t make guacamole without limes.”
- “Don’t judge an avocado by its green exterior, it’s the inside that counts.”
- “A guacamole party without avocados is like a party without guests.”
- “An avocado is like a relationship, when it’s not ripe yet, just give it time.”
- “Life is like an avocado, sometimes you just have to dig through all the bad parts to find the good.”
- “An avocado never asks for permission to be awesome, it just is.”
- “Roses are red, avocados are green, I like my guac chunky, not too smooth and clean.”
- “An avocado can’t change its spots, but it can ripen and become a delicious addition to your meal.”
- “When life gives you avocados, make guacamole and invite over some friends.”
- “An avocado that falls from the tree is like winning the avocado lottery.”
- “The best things in life are worth waiting for, like a perfectly ripe avocado.”
- “You never know what you’re going to get with an avocado, but that’s the fun of it.”
- “An avocado may be small, but it packs a powerful punch of healthy fats and nutrients.”
- “An avocado without chips is like a day without sunshine, it just doesn’t make sense.”
- “They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but have they tried guacamole with chips?”
- “You can’t make everyone happy, but you can make guacamole for everyone.”
- “An avocado’s journey is never easy, from rock hard to mushy in a matter of days.”
Dad-guacamole: Hilarious Avocado Jokes for the Whole Family!
- Why did the avocado get arrested? It was guilty of being a butter-fruit.
- I asked my avocado if it wanted to play hide and seek. It said no, it’s not ripe yet.
- What did the avocado say when it bumped into the tomato? “Guac! Sorry about that.”
- What’s an avocado’s favorite type of music? Guac and roll.
- Why couldn’t the avocado pay its rent? It was alligator-aided.
- Did you hear about the avocado’s new workout routine? It’s called guac-aerobics.
- What does an avocado use to hold up its pants? Guac-a-belts.
- How does an avocado say goodbye? “Avo-gotta go.”
- I told my friend I was making an avocado smoothie. They asked, “Is it lit?” I replied, “No, it’s just smooth-avocado.”
- Why did the avocado go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling well after being smashed.
- My doctor diagnosed me with an allergy to avocados. I said, “That can’t be right, I guac on those all the time.”
- How many avocados does it take to make guacamole? Just one, but you have to watch it carefully – it can be a little soft.
- What did the mommy avocado say to her baby avocado? “Pit-iful, I know.”
- Did you hear about the avocado that won the lottery? It was celebrating big-time with its avo-cash-o.
- Why did the avocado go to the prom alone? It couldn’t find a good pair to go with.
- How do you turn an avocado into a guacamole? Push it down the guaca-mole hill.
- Why did the avocado break up with the banana? It couldn’t get over its split personality.
- What’s an avocado’s favorite dessert? Key-lime guac-n pie.
- Why did the avocado’s friends throw a surprise party for it? Because it was having a rough time.
- How do you make an avocado laugh? Give it a good pit-her-upt.
Avocado Whoopsies: Hilarious Spoonerisms About the Green Fruit
- Avacado squirm (Squirming avocado)
- Cado avab (Avocado cab)
- Vocado avron (Avocado crouton)
- Avacado toating (Toasting avocado)
- Avacado bashing (Bashing avocado)
- Vavocado anthem (Avocado anthem)
- Avacado licking (Licking avocado)
- Avacado plopping (Plopping avocado)
- Avacado topping (Topping avocado)
- Avacado nutting (Nutting avocado)
- Savocado acid (Acidic avocado)
- Avacado dunking (Dunking avocado)
- Avacado zapping (Zapping avocado)
- Vocado aching (Aching avocado)
- Avacado flipping (Flipping avocado)
- Avacado mashing (Mashing avocado)
- Tovocado ague (Avocado fog)
- Avacado eating (Eating avocado)
- Bovocado agging (Ageing avocado)
- Kavocado arate (Avocado crate)
Avocuddles: Puns and Playful Banter about Everyone’s Favorite Fruit
- “Why did the avocado go on a blind date? Because it didn’t want to be ‘avocado’.”
- “Avocados make great partners, they’re always ripe and ready to be mashed.”
- “Why did the avocado join the gym? To get a ‘pit’ body.”
- “Avocados are like relationships, sometimes you just have to wait for them to ripen.”
- “What do you call a paranoid avocado? A nervous ‘peel’.”
- “I tried to make guacamole, but my avocados were too clingy.”
- “Why are avocados so popular? They’re the ‘cado’ of the town.”
- “What did the avocado say when it was proposed to? ‘Guac’ yeah!”
- “I asked my avocado if it wanted to hang out, but it said it was ‘pitted’ with other plans.”
- “You know you’re in love when your significant other is as smooth as an avocado.”
- “Why did the avocado go to therapy? To work on its ’emotaco’nal issues.”
- “I accidentally ate the whole bowl of guacamole, I just couldn’t stop ‘avo-ing it.”
- “Why did the avocado cross the road? To get to the ‘other side’ of a sandwich.”
- “My avocado told me it loved me, but I didn’t believe it, it was just trying to ‘smash’ my heart.”
- “Why did the avocado go on a diet? It wanted to become ‘avo-ly thin’.”
- “I can never get enough avocados, they’re just so darn ‘ap-peel-ing’.”
- “What did the avocado say to the hot pepper? ‘You’re making me ‘avoco-cool’.”
- “Why did the avocado break up with the tortilla chip? It was too ‘crunchy’ for its liking.”
- “Did you hear about the avocado that won an award? It was named ‘MVP’ocado.”
- “I wanted to ask my crush on a date, but I chickened out, I just didn’t want to ‘avo’ the rejection.”
Avacado: The Punny Fruit that Keeps on Giving (and Throwing Splendid Shakes at You)
- Why was the avocado so upset? Because it couldn’t find another half to be its better half-a-cado.
- The avocado went on a date with a kiwi, but it didn’t go well. They were just too incompatible-cados.
- I told my friend to stop talking to his avocado plant because it was just a fruitless-cado.
- How do avocados stay organized? They use an advocalendar.
- Avocados are great at holding grudges because they never forgive-cado.
- What do you call an avocado with a fancy suit on? An advocatoir.
- I tried to make avocado toast, but I couldn’t find the right moment to smash the avocado. It was just too a-cado-bral.
- Why was the avocado hesitant to fall in love? It was afraid of getting heart-cado-ned.
- The avocado was feeling down and told me it was feeling avo-cado-mal. I had to remind it that everything will be guac-y.
- How do avocados get their daily workout? They do advocardio.
- My friend said he was on a healthy diet of avocados, but I think he’s just advocatabusing them.
- What do you call a group of avocados? An advocluster.
- The avocado had a tough day and needed a shoulder to cry on. I offered mine and said, “You can always avo-couture on me.”
- What did the farmer say when he saw the perfectly ripe avocado? “This is an advocado of nature’s finest work.”
- The avocado wasn’t sure if it was ready for a relationship. It said it needed some more time to advocha-oh-decision.
- Why did the avocado go to therapy? It had a lot of emotional bagga-cado.
- What did the avocado say when it achieved its dreams? “This is avo-cado dream come true.”
- I asked the avocado how it was feeling, and it said it was advocaderpressed. I told it to shake it off and just remember to advocanal.
- What do you call an avocado that can skateboard? An advocado-rider.
- The avocado told a cheesy joke and said, “Sorry, I’m just an advocardo for bad puns.”
Avocado Affair: Tom Swifties for Guac Lovers!
- “I can’t believe I dropped my avocado,” said Tom pitifully.
- “This guacamole is out of this world,” said Tom spaciously.
- “I think I’m going to turn into an avocado,” said Tom greenly.
- “I’m so jealous of these avocados,” said Tom enviously.
- “I’m in love with avocado toast,” said Tom, spreading it on thickly.
- “I’m all for a little extra avocado,” said Tom gramatically.
- “I can’t decide between the avocado or the guac,” said Tom in a dip-lomatic tone.
- “This avocado is smashing,” said Tom with a squish.
- “This avocado isn’t ripe yet,” said Tom immaturely.
- “I’ll never date a vegetable again,” said Tom fruitfully.
- “I’ll have the avocado salad,” said Tom with a healthy serving.
- “This avocado is giving me the creeps,” said Tom, feeling weirdly.
- “Why did the avocado go on a diet?” asked Tom slimly.
- “I’m feeling buttery smooth after eating that avocado,” said Tom slickly.
- “I can’t believe how much this avocado costs,” said Tom expensively.
- “I’ll never take avocados for granted,” said Tom with regret.
- “This avocado is like a second skin,” said Tom soothingly.
- “I think I may have found my sole-mate in this avocado,” said Tom shoemately.
- “The guacamole is gone?” exclaimed Tom dipperingly.
- “I’ll always be an advocado for avocados,” said Tom passionately.
Guac-a-knock! Who’s there? Avocado jokes to make you laugh-ocado!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Avacado. Avacado who? Avacado-do you want to hear a joke?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say avacado?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here and we have avocados to eat!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive avocados, they’re one of my favorite fruits!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Max. Max who? Max and relax while we enjoy some delicious guacamole with avocados!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Berry. Berry who? Berry happy we have plenty of avocados to make guacamole with!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Woody. Woody who? Woody you like some chips with your avocados?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honeydew. Honeydew who? Honeydew you want to try my homemade avocado face mask?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any more avocados left?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce make avocado toast for breakfast!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cashew. Cashew who? Cashew believe how creamy and delicious avocados are?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cabbage. Cabbage who? Cabbage patch kids love avocados too!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive avocados, they’re a superfood!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Berry. Berry who? Berry excited to try some avocado ice cream!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Woody. Woody who? Woody you like to join me for an avocado tasting?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Aspen. Aspen who? Aspen me again, I’ll still say avocados are the best!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce us mix avocado into our salads!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peach. Peach who? Peach me some more avocado jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kiwi. Kiwi who? Kiwi enjoy some avocado toast and a good laugh?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Who. Who who? Who’s hungry for some avocado chips and dip?
Guac-ly Here to Say Goodbye-cado!
Well, I hope these avocado puns left you guac-ing with laughter! But if you still haven’t had your fill of pun-tastic humor, be sure to check out our other posts filled with egg-cellent jokes and berry funny puns! Trust me, they’re not just a-peel-ing, they’re absolutely a-maize-ing. Keep on punning, my friends!
