Looking for a way to liven up the dog days of summer? Look no further than these hilarious August jokes and puns! They’re the best way to add some humor to those end-of-summer blues. These clever and positive quips are perfect for kids (and adults who refuse to grow up). So sit back, relax, and prepare for a list of jokes that will have you laughing all month long. Trust us, August just got a whole lot funnier!
Tickle Your Funny Bone with Our ‘August’ly Hilarious Picks!
- What do you call a lazy vacationer in August? A “beach bumoreo.”
- August is like a Saturday for summer. It’s just one big, lazy “sun-day.”
- What did the sun say to the beach in August? “I’m just here to ‘tide’ you over until fall.”
- How does a sunflower stay cool in August? It “photosynthesizes” in the shade.
- Why did the calendar go on strike in August? It was tired of all the “dog days” dragging on.
- What did the lion say when he saw the August weather report? “Looks like it’s gonna be a hot one, mane.”
- Why did the teacher start singing in August? Because she heard the students were “autumn itchy.”
- How does a banana peel in August? It “slips” into its summer tan.
- What did the corn say to the farmer in August? “I’m all ‘ear’ for a good harvest season.”
- Why did the scientist spend all of August studying mosquitoes? Because he heard they were a “buzzing” topic.
- What do you call a month-long celebration of summer in August? A “hotliday” weekend.
- How does a swimming pool get fit in August? It “laps” up all the sunshine.
- Why did the chef switch to cooking with only summer vegetables in August? To “summer eyes” his dishes.
- What do you get when you mix a sunburn and a mosquito bite in August? A “fake skin” patch.
- Why did the football players struggle during their first practice in August? They were trying to find their “summer footing.”
- How does a tree keep cool in August? It “branches” out into the shade.
- What do you call a hot dog on the grill in August? A “sausages-on-the-roast.”
- Why was the ice cream store so busy in August? Because everyone was “screaming” for ice cream!
- What did the farmer say when he was asked about his corn crop in August? “It’s ‘ear’-resistible!”
- How does a cow stay cool in August? It “chews” on some grass in the shade.
Keep the laughs coming with these hilarious ‘Funny August’ One-Liner Jokes!
- “The calendar might say August, but my bank account says otherwise.”
- “Why did the banana go to the beach in August? Because it wanted to split!”
- “I’m not arguing, I’m simply August-ing my point.”
- “I’m so hot, I could melt August snow.”
- “Why does August have 31 days? Because it can’t afford any more!”
- “I can’t believe I gained 10 pounds in August. I must’ve been eating ‘august’ amounts of food.”
- “I’m not saying it’s hot in August, but my ice cream melted before I even had a chance to eat it.”
- “I wish August was a person so I could tell them how much they weigh.”
- “Why did the tomato turn red in August? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
- “Why is August the best month for a break-up? Because it’s the last month of summer.”
- “I started sweating in January and still haven’t stopped.”
- “Why did the scarecrow win an award in August? Because he was outstanding in his field!”
- “I was trying to come up with a witty ‘august’ pun, but I just couldn’t get the timing right.”
- “August may be hot, but have you tried going through menopause?”
- “Why do cows wear bells in August? Because their horns don’t work!”
- “The only flowers blooming in my garden in August are the ones on my sundress.”
- “I was going to go for a run in August but then I remembered I hate running.”
- “August is the Sunday of summer.”
- “Why did the chicken cross the road in August? Because it was too hot to fly!”
- “I don’t always drink coffee in August, but when I do, I drink it iced.”
QnA with August? More like April fools in August: Jokes & Puns to keep you laughing!
- Q: What did the calendar say to August when it got too hot? A: “I’m melting!”
- Q: Why was August so good at math? A: Because he had a lot of summer practice!
- Q: What do you call a snowman in August? A: A puddle!
- Q: Why did the lion refuse to go outside in August? A: He didn’t want to deal with the unbearable heat!
- Q: Why did the tomato turn red in August? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Q: What did the sun say to the calendar in August? A: “Can you please turn the page to September already?”
- Q: What is August’s favorite ghost story? A: The Tale of the Haunted Sunscreen!
- Q: How did August get its name? A: His parents were just too lazy to think of a new one!
- Q: What do you call a month with a broken leg? A: A ‘knee’ month, like ‘kneeweek’ or ‘kneemonth’!
- Q: Why was August so good at dancing? A: Because he had the longest ‘dog days’ of all the months!
- Q: What do you call a lazy summer day in August? A: A ‘glazy’ day!
- Q: What’s the difference between a winter holiday and a summer holiday? A: In August, you never have to shovel sunshine!
- Q: Why are fireflies so attracted to August? A: Because it’s the ‘hot’ spot to be!
- Q: What did August say when July asked if he wanted to hang out? A: “Sorry, I’m booked!”
- Q: Why was August always running late? A: He kept forgetting that July only has 31 days!
- Q: What do you call a bug that only appears in August? A: A ‘summer bug’!
- Q: Why did the calendar refuse to go on vacation in August? A: He was ‘booked’ solid!
- Q: What did August do at the beach all day? A: Just ‘shore’d’ up a tan!
- Q: How do you make August go faster? A: Just roll the calendar forward!
- Q: What’s August’s favorite kind of music? A: Summer jams!
Tickle Your Funny Bone with These Dad Jokes about August
- Why did the calendar always get mad at August? Because it was always extra!
- I was going to make a joke about August, but I didn’t want to fall into a rut.
- August may be hot, but at least it’s not a cold shoulder.
- Why was August so popular? Because it had a lot of fans.
- What did the calendar say at the end of August? “See you next summer!”
- Why did the tomato turn red in August? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Did you hear the joke about August? Nevermind, it’s not my month of expertise.
- How does August’s calendar stay in shape? By doing summer-saults!
- August is like a Sunday evening of the year… nobody likes it, but we all need it.
- What do you call a bear in August? A sun-bear!
- August is like a bad haircut… it just keeps getting shorter and shorter.
- Why was the teacher happy in August? Because she could finally seafood vacation!
- What did the corn say at the start of August? “Sorry, I’m all ears!”
- August can be a tough month, but it’s all about beet-ing the heat.
- Why are popstars always busy in August? Because they’re always trying to keep up with appearances!
- Why did the dog want to go to the beach in August? He wanted to take a pug dip!
- What do you call a rooster playing beach volleyball in August? Fowl play!
- Why did the chef refuse to make soup in August? Because he didn’t want to be soup-erheated!
- What did the sun say when August was over? “See you next year, sunshine!”
- August may be rough, but at least it has the longest days… that’s quite an August-ment!
Get ready for a giggle-filled August with these puns & jokes for kids!
- Why was August’s calendar sad? Because its days were numbered.
- What did the August cloud say to the other clouds? Hey, don’t rain on my parade!
- How do you know when it’s August? When all the popsicles have melted.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle ride in August? Because it was two-tired.
- What did one corn stalk say to the other in August? We’re in a maze-ing month.
- Why did August break up with July? Because July was too hot to handle.
- How does August stay cool in the heat? With an ice cap!
- What’s August’s favorite sport? Water polo.
- What did the August flower say to the bee? Buzz off, I’m trying to bloom here!
- How does August like its steak cooked? On the grill.
- Why did August go to the beach alone? Because all its friends were at work during summer vacation.
- What did the August caterpillar turn into? A butterfly, just in time for back to school.
- How does August get from place to place? It takes an Uber to avoid the August heat.
- Why is August the best month to take a vacation? Because it’s the sweet spot between summer and fall.
- How does August remember all its appointments? With a calendar full of dog days.
- Why did August’s lemonade stand go out of business? Because it had some sour customers.
- What did the August princess wear to the ball? A ballgown made of sunflowers and daisies.
- How does August keep its cool during a heat wave? It takes a dip in a pool of ice cream.
- What did August say to September when they met for the first time? I can’t wait to autumn-love with you.
- Why did August’s ice cream cone melt so quickly? Because it was a hot fudge sundae.
August: the month of humidity, beach days, and hilarious haikus” – Funny Quotes about August
- “August is like a month-long Monday, with weekends as rare as unicorns.”
- “I wish summer would last as long as August does at the office.”
- “August: the time when you realize you should have started your summer diet in January.”
- “Vacations in August are like trying to find a needle in a haystack – good luck!”
- “August is nature’s way of reminding us that it’s time to go back to school/work.”
- “Is it just me or does August feel like a Groundhog Day movie on repeat?”
- “If August had a motto, it would be ‘Sweat now, regret later.'”
- “Why is August the only month that sounds like someone took a nap on the keyboard?”
- “August: when the only thing hotter than the weather is the BBQ grill.”
- “I don’t always look like a melted popsicle, but when I do, it’s August.”
- “August is like a bad blind date – it starts off promising and then goes downhill fast.”
- “August is the month of catch-up – garden chores, household projects, and that novel you’ve been meaning to finish since May.”
- “Who needs a summer body when you can just buy a bigger swimsuit in August?”
- “August: when the air conditioner becomes your best friend and your electric bill becomes your worst enemy.”
- “We need a national holiday for surviving the hot mess that is August.”
- “August is when your boss finally gives you a break – by turning down the office AC.”
- “August: the month of the year that teaches us to be grateful for central air conditioning.”
- “Trying to get out of bed in August is like trying to take off a tight pair of skinny jeans after a big meal – exhausting and sweaty.”
- “I love August because it’s a socially acceptable excuse to eat ice cream for breakfast.”
- “Can we all just agree to skip August and go straight to September?”
Laughing in the ‘Dog Days’ of August: Hilarious Proverbs and Wise Words to Beat the Heat
- “In August, the early bird doesn’t get the worm, it gets a sunburn.”
- “A lion may roar in August, but a mosquito will still be more annoying.”
- “August: the month of dreams and melting ice cream.”
- “If life gives you lemons in August, make lemonade…and add a little vodka.”
- “A watched pot may never boil, but a watched ice cream cone in August will definitely melt.”
- “Happiness is like a butterfly in August, elusive and only attracted to colorful flowers.”
- “By August, even the sun is tired of shining.”
- “August: the month of hotdogs on the grill and hot tempers.”
- “A clean house is a sign of a wasted August.”
- “In August, every day is ‘take your dog to work’ day.”
- “August is like a second Monday, but with better weather.”
- “A penny saved is a penny earned…unless you spend it on a new swimsuit in August.”
- “In August, even the trees are too lazy to sway in the breeze.”
- “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch…unless they’re barbecue wings in August.”
- “A rolling stone gathers no moss…but it sure can gather mosquito bites in August.”
- “In August, the grass may be greener on the other side, but it’s also full of fire ants.”
- “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush…unless they’re seagulls at the beach in August.”
- “Actions speak louder than words, unless you’re trying to cool off with a fan in August.”
- “In August, the best defense against mosquitoes is a good offense with citronella candles.”
- “Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it would have been quicker if August wasn’t so darn hot.”
Let’s Heat Up August with Some Playful Double Entendres Puns
- “I heard August is a hot month, but I didn’t realize it would be this steamy… oh wait, that’s just my iced coffee.”
- “August is the month of summer lovin’, but unfortunately my AC is the only thing getting some action.”
- “Did you know August is National Peach Month? Looks like we’ll all be getting a little peachy this summer.”
- “If August was a fruit, it would definitely be a melon… because it’s the perfect time to relax and be a little bit of a fruit.”
- “They say August is like the Sunday of summer… just trying to soak up every last bit of fun before Monday (or September) rolls around.”
- “August is like a chocolate cake… it may not be the best for our waistlines, but it sure is sweet.”
- “I guess you could say August is the month of ‘sun’s out, buns out’… but let’s not take that saying too literally.”
- “I always feel like August is when the year starts to go downhill… fortunately, there’s still plenty of rolling in the grass and ice cream to make it enjoyable.”
- “They say August is the month for hot dogs, but I prefer my dogs to be the cold, furry kind.”
- “I’m so ready for August to be over… maybe then my joke about summer dragging on will finally end.”
- “August is perfect for vacation, because as the saying goes, ‘when life gives you lemons (or a month like August), make lemonade (or margaritas).'”
- “I don’t know about you, but August just screams ‘eat your weight in corn on the cob’ to me.”
- “They say it’s always five o’clock somewhere… but in August, it’s always summer somewhere.”
- “I’ve heard August is the Sunday of summer, but let’s all agree to make it a fun-day.”
- “Just when you think August is starting to cool down, it comes screeching back with a heat wave.”
- “If August was a person, they’d be that friend who always shows up fashionably late to the party.”
- “August is like the limbo of the year… stuck between the end of summer and the start of fall, just trying to find its place.”
- “When it comes to August, it’s all about the three F’s… fun, friends, and fruity drinks.”
- “I’m pretty sure August is when Netflix intended the phrase ‘chill’ to be used… binging on shows and staying cool in the AC.”
- “They say August is when things really start heating up… but I’m still waiting for that to happen in my love life.”
Falling for These ‘August’ Recursive Puns Will Leave You Feeling Endlessly Amused!
- Did you hear about the pig who loved summertime? She was a real hotdog in August!
- What did the horse say when it blew out its birthday candles? “Neigh-first!”
- I accidentally spilled lemonade on my calendar. Now I have a sticky August!
- Why did the tomato turn red on August 1st? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- I was going to give a joke about August, but it’s too cheesy. It’s really a-Jester!
- Whenever I hear the word August, I think of my ex’s birthday. That guy was a total has-been!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite month for sailing? Au-garr!
- Why did the teacher make August a student leader? Because she was so summertime-smart!
- I really want to have a BBQ on August 4th. But I don’t want to get too hung up on the grill!
- I thought my August party was going to be a flop, but everyone really chipped in!
- What do you call a giant lion with an August birthday? A Leo-normous!
- The weather in August is so hot, I can barely stand it! I guess you could say I’m a bit of a melt-down.
- Have you heard about the guy who had an actual conversation with his calendar? They were having an August 5th!
- Why was the egg excited for August? Because it was going to be poached in the sun!
- Some people say you shouldn’t wear white after Labor Day, but in August, I say go nuts! Show off your pecan-fession!
- Did you hear about the car that broke down on August 11th? It was towed away in a-Avalanche!
- My mom always tells me to clean my room before the end of August. I guess she’s trying to teach me Augg-ust-ice!
- Why are firefighters always so busy in August? They have to put out all those summer-flames!
- Did you know that August was National Picnic Month? Looks like we have an excuse to pig out!
- I was going to make a joke about August, but it’s just not my cu-patch of tea!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? August. August who? August say another bad joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? August. August who? August someone, you better let me in!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augusta. Augusta who? August-atake a deep breath, these jokes are only going to get worse!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augusto. Augusto who? Augusto know me by now!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augustine. Augustine who? Augustine every day I regret learning these knock-knock jokes…
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augustine. Augustine who? Augustine this joke, I promise it will be worth it!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augustus. Augustus who? Augustus be a special day, because I made it to your house!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? August. August who? August go for a bike ride and tell knock-knock jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augusta. Augusta who? Augusta you know it’s time for school again?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augusta. Augusta who? Augusta stop writing knock-knock jokes and get back to work!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augusta. Augusta who? Augusta-ment to get you a present, but I forgot!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augustine. Augustine who? Augustine of being bored, let’s tell some more jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? August. August who? Augusta be a hot day, let’s go for ice cream!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augustus. Augustus who? Augustus take a while, but I finally came up with a good knock-knock joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? August. August who? Augustus can’t get enough of these knock-knock jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augusta. Augusta who? Augusta go tell these jokes to the whole neighborhood!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augie. Augie who? Augie-gument that these jokes are the funniest ever!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? August. August who? Augusta really bad memory, I can never remember knock-knock jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augustina. Augustina who? Augustina know someone else who loves knock-knock jokes as much as I do?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augusta. Augusta who? Augusta go to bed early tonight, you have school tomorrow!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Augustine. Augustine who? Augustine to get better at telling jokes, practice makes perfect!
August isn’t cool, it’s pun-derful!
Well folks, we’ve reached the end of our pun-tastic journey through witty wordplay about the sunny month of August. But don’t worry, if you’re still craving more jokes and puns, be sure to check out our other related posts because let’s be honest, there’s never August time for puns. So go forth and spread some August laughter, and remember, keep punning on!
