Are you ready for some laughs to kickstart your Monday? Look no further, because we’ve got the best collection of puns and jokes about everyone’s favorite day of the week – Monday! We’ve scoured the internet to bring you a list of clever and positive puns that are sure to bring a smile to even the grumpiest of faces. So get ready to laugh out loud and share these funny jokes with your friends, especially the kids – because Mondays just got a whole lot funnier!
Start the Week with a Chuckle: Monday Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks!
- Why did the man go to bed early on Monday? Because he was feeling Mon-dazed.
- What did the calendar say to the man who forgot it was Monday? “Looks like you’ve got a case of the mondays!”
- How does a penguin know it’s Monday? When he can’t find his fish.
- What do you call a sad coffee on Monday? Depresso.
- What’s the difference between a Monday and a potato? Potatoes are always in a good mash, but Mondays just never seem to mash up.
- How are Mondays and math alike? They both make me want to cry.
- What did the fish say when he woke up on Monday? “Oh no, I must’ve slept through Fry-day!”
- Why was Monday never invited to the spa? Because it’s always a manic Monday.
- What did the Monday blues say to the other days of the week? “I’ve got a case of the Mondays, can I have some company?”
- How do you cure a case of the Mondays? A large dose of caffeine and a double shot of motivation.
- What did one Monday say to the other Monday? “Can we please switch places with Saturday and Sunday?”
- How do you make Monday better? Add some Fri-nds and a little Sun-shine.
- Why did the cookie dread Mondays? Because it knew it would crumble under all the pressure.
- How do you know it’s Monday in the office? The only sound you hear is the coffee machine brewing.
- What did the calendar say when Monday came around? “Here we go again, another week, another Monday.”
- Why don’t fish like working on Mondays? Because they’d rather be swimming and soaking up the rays.
- Why doesn’t Monday like Tuesdays? Because they always steal the spotlight as the second day of the week.
- How does Monday feel about Friday? It’s just jealous because Friday is always everyone’s favorite.
- What did the cat say when he woke up on Monday? “This is the wurst day of the week.”
- What’s the best way to celebrate a Monday? Pretend it’s really just a Sunday in disguise and relax all day.
Start Your Week with a Roar of Laughter: Funny Monday One-Liner Jokes!
- Why was Monday the bank robber’s favorite day? Because it was the start of the week and he needed some cash flow.
- My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home on Monday.
- What’s the difference between a Monday and a washing machine? One is full of dirty clothes and the other makes them dirty.
- They say laughter is the best medicine, but it’s Monday and all I need is a hug.
- Why was the math book sad on Monday? Because it had too many problems.
- Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the productivity, divide the focus, and multiply the stress.
- What’s a vampire’s least favorite day? Monday, because it’s always bloody exhausting.
- How do you make a Monday more interesting? Put “sleep” in front of it.
- Monday should be optional, like a spare tire. You only use it when you need it.
- Why do Mondays feel so long? Because they’re a pun-ishment for enjoying the weekend.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad it’s not Monday yet?
- If Mondays were an ice cream flavor, they would be pralines and anxiety.
- Why was the mummy so cranky on Monday? Because he had a case of the wraps.
- What did one calendar say to the other on Monday? “I want to change my Monday plans, can I borrow some days from you?”
- How do you tell if it’s already Monday? When you wake up to the sound of your alarm instead of your dreams.
- Ever notice how “Monday” is an anagram for “dynamo”? Yeah, neither have I.
- If life is a video game, then Mondays are the boss levels.
- Why did the tomato turn red on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- One positive thing about Mondays – at least we’re one day closer to Friday.
- I would wish you a Happy Monday, but that would be like wishing you a Happy Root Canal.
What do you call a grumpy cat on a Monday? A ‘meow’nday blues buster! QnA Jokes & Puns about Monday
- Q: How does a Monday morning feel? A: Like trying to start a car that hasn’t been driven in a week.
- Q: What did the calendar say after Monday? A: “Don’t worry, Tuesday will be better.”
- Q: What did the wall say to Monday? A: “I’ve got you cornered.”
- Q: Why was Monday feeling groggy? A: Because it didn’t have its coffee yet.
- Q: How does a calendar keep its life organized? A: With dates.
- Q: What do you call a person who hates Mondays? A: Lazy….because they are never able to get up on a Monday morning
- Q: What is the best way to avoid a case of the Mondays? A: Skip it by calling in sick on Tuesday.
- Q: What do your Mondays and your ex have in common? A: They both show up uninvited and ruin your day.
- Q: Why did Monday cross the road? A: To give me a heart attack at work because I thought it was Tuesday.
- Q: How does Monday always make us feel? A: Like someone hit reset on our weekend.
- Q: What do you call a week without Monday? A: A vacation.
- Q: Why do we always dread going back to work on Monday? A: Because it’s the longest distance between two weekends.
- Q: Why does Monday seem to drag on forever? A: Because it’s a mile away from Friday, but only a foot away from us.
- Q: Why does Monday feel like the heaviest day of the week? A: Because it’s full of Mon-tains of work.
- Q: What did the weekend say to Monday? A: I’ll catch you on the flip side.
- Q: Why can’t Monday ever be fun? A: Because it always has to follow Sunday Funday.
- Q: What’s the only thing worse than a Monday? A: A rainy Monday.
- Q: How do you make Monday your favorite day? A: Call it “Fun-day” and avoid all responsibilities.
- Q: What did the clock say when it saw Monday coming? A: “Oh, no, it’s another one of those days.”
- Q: Why do Mondays always seem to have a bad reputation? A: Because they can never live up to Sunday’s standards.
Start Your Week with a Laugh: Dad Jokes About Mondays
- Why did the teacher send the clock to detention on Monday? Because it kept ticking off!
- What do you call a fake noodle on a Monday? An impasta!
- Why did the comedian tell jokes about Mondays? Because they were a punchline!
- How many Mondays does it take to change a light bulb? None, they prefer to stay in the dark.
- Why did the man wear his sunglasses to work on Monday? Because he didn’t want to see anyone.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on on a Monday? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
- How does the moon cut its hair on a Monday? Eclipse it!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest on a Monday? An investigator!
- Why don’t skeletons work on Mondays? They’re too bone-tired.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire on a Monday? Frostbite!
- Did you hear about the fire at the circus on Monday? It was intense.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches on a Monday? A waist of time.
- How do you organize a space party on a Monday? You planet.
- Why don’t sharks attack lawyers on Mondays? Professional courtesy.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth on a Monday? A gummy bear.
- Why don’t chickens tell jokes on Mondays? They would just wing it.
- How do you get a squirrel to like you on a Monday? Act like a nut.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches on a Monday? A waist of time.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground on Monday? He woke up.
- What did one volcanic ash cloud say to the other on a Monday? “Let’s blow this joint!”
Making ‘Monday’ Fun-Day: Puns & Jokes for Kids!
- Why did the calendar put Monday in detention? Because it kept skipping too many days!
- What did the Monday say to the weekend? “You’re just not my type.”
- Why did the teacher ask Monday to read aloud in front of the class? Because it was a “case of the Mondays!”
- What did Monday say when it saw the weekend? “Hey, long time no see!”
- Why is Monday always the shortest day of the week? Because it’s a “weekdayend!”
- What did the Monday say when it won the race against the other weekdays? “I’m a-MONDA-bly fast!”
- Why didn’t Monday go to the beach with the rest of the days? Because it had a CASE of the blues!
- Why was Monday mad at Tuesday? Because it was Monday’s job to keep things in order, but Tuesday always “messes” things up!
- What do you call a lazy Monday? A ‘Mon-YAY’!
- What did the Monday say to the weather forecaster? “Can you please forecast a sunny week for a change?”
- Why does Monday always feel left out? Because Tuesday through Sunday are all mentioned in the popular childhood song, “The Days of the Week,” but Monday is excluded!
- If Monday and Tuesday got into a fight, who would win? Wednesday – because it’s in the middle!
- What’s Monday’s favorite type of music? MOODY blues!
- What did the ‘serious’ weekday say to the other days? “You guys really need to start taking things ‘Mon-dead’ seriously.”
- What did Monday say to Friday? “Hey, you stole my thunder!”
- Why was Monday always the best at hide and seek? Because no one ever expects it!
- What did the Monday do when it saw a spider? It ‘MON-stered’ it’s courage and ran away!
- Why was Monday always jealous of Sunday? Because everyone loves ‘SUN’day, but Monday gets a bad rap!
- What do you call a sad Monday? A “blue-ny!”
- What did Monday say after a long weekend? “I’m exhausted – can we have another weekend to recover from THIS weekend?”
Start Your Week with a Laugh: Funny Quotes about ‘Monday’!
- “Monday: the perfect time to start slacking off after a weekend of procrastination.”
- “Monday blues? Try adding a splash of tequila to your morning coffee.”
- “Mondays are like Scrabble: everyone’s trying to make the best out of a bad hand.”
- “My favorite Monday activity? Counting down the days until Friday.”
- “When life gives you lemons, you probably just forgot to check your work email on Monday.”
- “On Mondays, even my coffee needs a coffee.”
- “Monday: the day when your alarm clock is the cruelest thing in your life.”
- “Mondays are the only day of the week where even the weather agrees with you that it sucks.”
- “I love Mondays. Just kidding, I’m not a psychopath.”
- “Mondays are like karma – they remind you of all the things you’ve been avoiding over the weekend.”
- “If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I’d have a gold medal every Monday.”
- “I can’t be held responsible for my actions on Mondays. It’s like my brain is still on a weekend vacation.”
- “Dear Monday, can you please suck less? Sincerely, everyone.”
- “I have a love-hate relationship with Mondays. I love to hate them.”
- “You know it’s Monday when you feel like a truck hit you, but then you remember it was just your alarm clock.”
- “If Monday had a face, I would punch it. Repeatedly.”
- “I’m not saying that Mondays are the worst, but they definitely rank right up there with root canals and traffic jams.”
- “On Mondays, I feel like a ninja. But instead of throwing stars, it’s just my motivation that’s disappearing.”
- “Ever notice how ‘Monday’ is made up of the words ‘mon’ and ‘day’? It’s like it’s telling you to get started on your to-do list, but in a really boring way.”
- “If Monday had a fan club, I wouldn’t join it even if they offered free donuts.”
Start your Monday with a smile: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Monday
- “A Monday without coffee is like a unicorn without a horn – pointless and too difficult to handle.”
- “Fools rush in on Mondays, but wise men put on their sweatpants and take a nap.”
- “Mondays are like taxes – no one likes them, but we all have to deal with them eventually.”
- “If Monday was a food, it would definitely be a cold, soggy pizza.”
- “The only thing worse than a Monday is a Monday on a full moon.”
- “Mondays are like bad hair days – you just want to hide under a hat and pretend they never happened.”
- “Monday is the perfect day to start your diet, and by that I mean start planning your next cheat day.”
- “On Mondays, I am convinced that someone replaced my alarm clock with a drill sergeant.”
- “Some people call it Monday blues – I call it a serious case of Mondayitis.”
- “A Monday without complaints is like a meal without seasoning – bland and unsatisfying.”
- “Mondays are just like exes – they come back to haunt you every week.”
- “I believe the first day of the week was actually supposed to be ‘Chosenday,’ but someone accidentally mispronounced it.”
- “The only way to survive a Monday is to pretend it’s Friday and start planning that weekend getaway.”
- “On Mondays, even my coffee needs a coffee.”
- “Mondays are proof that the weekend was just a tease and life is just a cruel joke.”
- “The only thing that can make a Monday worse is finding out it’s actually a Sunday.”
- “Mondays are like traffic jams – they come out of nowhere and make you wish you stayed in bed.”
- “If life gives you lemons on a Monday, make yourself a margarita and forget about it.”
- “They say the early bird catches the worm, but on Mondays, it’s more like the early bird catches a whole lot of misery.”
- “If there was a reality show called ‘Surviving Mondays,’ I would win every season.”
Monday Mischief: Double the Fun with Double Entendres and Puns!
- “I hate Mondays, they’re always so taxing.”
- “Looks like Monday got a case of the Mondays.”
- “No one likes Mondays, it’s just a day of mourning.”
- “I can Monday better than this.”
- “Mondays are like a bad ex, they just keep coming back.”
- “I wish Mondays were more like Fridays, at least then we’d have something to look forward to.”
- “Why is Monday called Monday and not Satan’s Eve?”
- “I feel like I’ve been Monday-ed over by a truck.”
- “Monday: the beginning of the end, or the end of the beginning?”
- “Monday is nature’s way of saying ‘nope.'”
- “The only thing good about Monday is that it’s not Monday tomorrow.”
- “Mondays are like a bad credit score, they never seem to improve.”
- “If Monday had a signature scent, it would be burnt coffee and regret.”
- “I have a case of the Mondays and I’m not talking about the beer.”
- “I never trust anything that starts with ‘Mon’, except money.”
- “Monday: when the struggle is real and so is the coffee.”
- “I tried to hug my coworkers on a Monday and they thought I had lost my mind.”
- “Mondays are like a game show, but instead of winning, you just lose your sanity.”
- “Why do we blame Mondays for being Mondays? Let’s blame the calendar.”
- “Monday is like a bad hair day on steroids.”
Start Your Week Off with Laughter: Recursive Puns about Monday
- Why did the calendar call in sick on Monday? It had a case of the Mondays!
- Monday puns are bad, but I can’t resist, they just keep coming!
- Every day is a struggle, but Monday feels like it’s on a loop.
- I can’t decide if Monday is the beginning of the week or the beginning of my struggle.
- What do you call a fake noodle on a Monday? An impasta!
- Did you hear about the guy who tripped and fell every Monday? He’s now a walking joke.
- Monday: the villain of the workweek story.
- I tried to come up with a new joke about Mondays, but I keep getting stuck in a recursive pun cycle.
- I don’t always hate Mondays, but when I do, it’s because of a recursive pun.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms on Mondays? They make up everything!
- Monday has a vendetta against me, it keeps repeating itself every seven days.
- I wanted to make a joke about Tuesday instead, but it’s just not as punny as Monday.
- How do you make a recurring Monday pun funnier? You just keep adding layers!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite day off? Moondays.
- Why was Monday only good in math class? It was always counting on it.
- No matter how many jokes I make about it, Monday just keeps coming back for more.
- I have an irrational fear of Mondays, it always brings back terrible puns.
- Why did the computer get stuck on Monday? It couldn’t escape the loop.
- Monday mornings are rough, but it’s just a re-curs-i-ve punishment for the weekend.
- How did the joke about Monday get stuck in my head? It kept repeating on a loop!
Making Mondays bearable, one knock-knock joke at a time
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Banana split up with me on a Monday.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive for Fridays, but I hate Mondays!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and make it Friday already!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben who? Ben dreading this Monday all week.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy just passed by Monday and ignored it.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Skip. Skip who? Skip work on Monday? Sounds like a plan!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jules. Jules who? Jules need to get through Monday to get to the weekend.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hugh. Hugh who? Hugh are you to judge me for sleeping in on Monday?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan pressing the snooze button on this Monday.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cereal. Cereal who? Cereal-ously not looking forward to Monday.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita ask my boss for a four-day work week starting from Monday.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owen. Owen who? Owen to myself to enjoy Monday despite what everyone says.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jenna. Jenna who? Jenna stop complaining about Mondays and start enjoying them.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nate. Nate who? Nate taking this Monday thing pretty hard.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Carlos. Carlos who? Carlos crazy if I think this Monday will go smoothly.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys wasn’t born on a Monday.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leo. Leo who? Leo-zing all hope of having a good Monday.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vera. Vera who? Vera few things make me as happy as a Monday-free week.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Manny. Manny who? Manny people suffer from a case of the Mondays, but not me!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wade. Wade who? Wade through this Monday, and soon it will be over.
The week may start slow, but the puns don’t!
Well, that’s a wrap on our Monday jokes, folks! I hope these puns had you Monday-tying with laughter. But if you’re still feeling the Monday blues, don’t worry – we’ve got plenty more puns and jokes to keep you smiling all week long. So why not check out our other posts? Just remember, when life gives you Mondays, make them Funday!
