100+ Kentucky Derby Puns & Jokes: Winn-ing Laughs!

Saddle up for a hilarious ride, because we’re about to gallop into the best Kentucky Derby puns and jokes this side of the Winner’s Circle! Get ready for a furlong of fun with this list of clever quips that are sure to make you the mane event at your Derby party. We’re not horsing around – these puns are the epitome of positive, feel-good humor. So grab your mint juleps and your biggest hats, and let’s get ready to laugh our hooves off!

My Picks: Top “Kentucky Derby” Puns to Make You Neighhhh 😂

1. Neigh-sayers Beware!
2. Feeling Derby-lightful!
3. Ready to horse around!
4. Bet it’ll be legen-dairy!
5. Let’s get this party foal-ing!
6. Off to the races, y’all!
7. Time to stirrup some fun!
8. Can’t wait to see who reins supreme!
9. Gonna be a real photo-finish!
10. Don’t be a long shot, bet on fun!
11. Hope my horse isn’t a rebel with-oat a cause!
12. Mint to be a Derby Day!

Funniest & Best Kentucky Derby Puns (and Jokes) for a Winning Good Time

1. What’s the most popular salad at the Kentucky Derby? Lettuce Win-ston!
2. Why did the horse cross the road before the Kentucky Derby? To get to the other tide! (Get it? Other side… betting odds?)
3. Heard about the jockey who was also a comedian? He had everyone in stitches… literally!
4. I’m so bad at betting on the Kentucky Derby… I always pick the horse with the worst “scent” record.
5. Did you hear about the horse who was a sore loser at the Kentucky Derby? He was really champing at the bit.
6. I wanted to wear a fancy hat to the Kentucky Derby… but it cost a pretty mane-y.
7. Why don’t they serve alcohol at the Kentucky Derby? Because the horses might get blitzed!
8. What’s the most confusing part of the Kentucky Derby for new spectators? Trying to figure out who the “mane” man is.
9. I’m thinking of training for the Kentucky Derby… I’ve already got the “stable” income part down.
10. What’s the difference between the Kentucky Derby and a tea party? At the Derby, the horses wear the fancy hats!
11. Why was the horse disqualified from the Kentucky Derby? It was caught using performance-enhorsing drugs!
12. The only thing faster than a racehorse at the Kentucky Derby… Is the rate at which my money disappears on bad bets!

Funny One-liners Kentucky Derby Jokes for a Winning Laugh

1. I bet on the horse with the longest odds at the Kentucky Derby… he came in furlong last.
2. The jockeys at the Kentucky Derby were so competitive, they were practically neigh-bors at war.
3. I wanted to wear my seersucker suit to the Kentucky Derby, but my wife said it was a little too on the nose.
4. The horse I bet on at the Derby came in second… just like my gambling strategy.
5. The only thing faster than the winning horse at the Kentucky Derby was the rate at which my money disappeared.
6. You could say the losing jockeys were a little hoarse after the Kentucky Derby.
7. I was going to make a mint julep, but then I realized I didn’t have any bourbon… guess I’ll just have a Kentucky Maybe.
8. I heard the winning horse at the Kentucky Derby was trained by a former chess champion… he must have taught it a few mane-uvers.
9. Don’t get me started on the price of hats at the Kentucky Derby… it’s enough to make you go stark-raving mad-hatter.
10. I tried to get into the infield at the Derby, but they said my fake ID was a little too thorough-bred.
11. The only reason I go to the Kentucky Derby is for the fashion… and the hope that a runaway horse might mistake me for a fence.
12. I thought I saw a celebrity at the Kentucky Derby, but it turned out to be just a foal’s idol.
13. The winning jockey was so happy, he said he was going to Disneyland… then he realized he was already at the Kentucky Derby.

Kentucky Derby QnA Puns and Jokes: Your Winning Laugh Track

1. Q: Why did the horse lose the Kentucky Derby? A: He was too busy horsing around!
2. Q: What’s the most popular hat at the Kentucky Derby? A: A horse-pitality hat!
3. Q: What kind of music do they play at the Kentucky Derby? A: Anything with a good beat…and hoof!
4. Q: Why don’t they gamble with Monopoly money at the Kentucky Derby? A: Because the stakes are too high!
5. Q: Did you hear about the jockey who was afraid of heights? A: He got a serious case of Derbyphobia!
6. Q: What do you call a horse that loves the Kentucky Derby? A: A real thoroughbred-y!
7. Q: What do you call a horse that always wins at the Kentucky Derby? A: Un-furl-gettable!
8. Q: Why did the horse cross the finish line sideways? A: To get to the after-party! Neigh-sayers said he was just too turnt up.
9. Q: Why do horses run in the Kentucky Derby? A: Because it’s hard to gallop with a mint julep in your hand!
10. Q: What’s the difference between a horse and the Kentucky Derby? A: One runs for the roses, the other costs you a fortune!
11. Q: What did the losing jockey say after the Kentucky Derby? A: Hay-lp me, I need to rethink my career!
12. Q: Why are horses so good at poker? A: They’ve always got a strong hand!

Dad Jokes About Kentucky Derby: They’re Off-the-Track Hilarious

1. I wanted to bet on the horse named “Tax Returns,” but they said the odds were a little… un-stable.
2. My wife told me to take the trash out to the curb for the Kentucky Derby… I guess she meant “put on the curb” because that’s a lot of trash!
3. Why don’t they serve margaritas at the Kentucky Derby? Because the horses might get “saddled” with a DUI!
4. I tried to name my horse “Winner’s Circle” for the Kentucky Derby, but they said it was off-track betting.
5. I thought I saw a horse wearing a tuxedo at the Kentucky Derby… Turns out it was just a formal-ity.
6. Went to a Kentucky Derby party where everyone was speaking in rhymes… Guess you could say things got a little… horse-pitable.
7. Tried to order a “Kentucky Derby Pizza” once… Turns out it’s just a regular pizza, but they charge you faster.
8. Heard a rumor about a horse at the Kentucky Derby who’s also a lawyer… He specializes in thorough-bred law.
9. You know what’s even faster than a Kentucky Derby champion? My wife when she sees a sale on hats.
10. What’s the difference between a Kentucky Derby jockey and a pizza delivery guy? One wears a silk suit to work, the other gets a silk suit for work.
11. I bought a “Kentucky Derby Workout Video”… Turns out it’s just two hours of people running in a field chasing a hat.
12. My son asked me how much horses cost at the Kentucky Derby. I told him, “Hay, that’s expensive information!”

Kentucky Derby Jokes and Puns for Kids Giddy Up and Giggle

1. Why was the horse wearing a tuxedo to the Kentucky Derby? > Because it was a very foal-mal occasion!
2. Why did the horse cross the finish line at the Kentucky Derby? > To get to the other ‘s-tide’!
3. What kind of music do they play at the Kentucky Derby? > Anything with a good beat and hoove!
4. What did the losing jockey say after the Kentucky Derby? > “Hay, that was a close one!”
5. Why do horses run faster at the Kentucky Derby? > Because the faster they go, the quicker they can get their hoof on that trophy!
6. What do you call a sleepy horse at the Kentucky Derby? > A horse-ibly tired competitor!
7. What do you call a horse that always wins at the Kentucky Derby? > A real champ-ion!
8. Why don’t they let pigs race in the Kentucky Derby? > Because they always hog the track!
9. What’s a horse’s favorite drink after the Kentucky Derby? > Water… from the winner’s cup!
10. Why didn’t the pony win the Kentucky Derby? > He was just a little horse!
11. What did the announcer shout when the horses were released from the starting gate? > “And they’re hoofing it!”
12. Where does a winning Kentucky Derby horse go to celebrate? > On a hay-cation!

Kentucky Derby Jokes and Puns for Elders: Guaranteed to Make You Neigh with Laughter

1. You know you’re getting old when… watching the Kentucky Derby makes you want a Mint Julep…and a nap.
2. I told my broker to bet it all on a horse named “Retirement Fund.” He said, “That’s a long shot!” I said, “At my age, they all are!”
3. What’s the difference between the Kentucky Derby and my last birthday party? At the Derby, they still serve cocktails.
4. My doctor told me to incorporate more “fast horses” into my life. Turns out, he meant running. I’m already late for the glue factory.
5. I tried explaining blockchain to my grandson at the Derby. He just looked at me and said, “Grandpa, just tell me which horse to bet on.”
6. They say the key to winning big at the Derby is inside information. At my age, the only inside information I have is about my cholesterol.
7. Wife asked if I wanted to go to the Kentucky Derby or a senior discount buffet. Tough choice, but I figured I could always wear a funny hat to the buffet.
8. Used to bet on horses based on their names. Now I just pick the one that looks the most likely to survive the race. You know, for my nerves.
9. What’s the one thing slower than the horses at the Kentucky Derby? The line for the senior discount Mint Juleps.
10. Remember when a “furlong” used to sound like a long time? Now, it’s just the time it takes me to get to the bathroom.
11. Heard the winning horse this year is a descendant of Secretariat. Well, at my age, who isn’t related to someone famous?
12. I only bet on horses wearing blue. It reminds me of my youth… back when I could still remember my favorite color.

Kentucky Derby Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media That Are Sure to Make You Neigh

1. I tried to bet on a horse named “Winner’s Circle” at the Kentucky Derby… Turns out it was just a myth-tery horse.
2. What’s the most confusing day at the Kentucky Derby? Fillly-in Friday.
3. My friend said he picked the winning horse based on its name alone. I told him, “Hay, don’t be foal-ish!”
4. I saw a horse at the Kentucky Derby wearing a tuxedo… I guess he was there to win, place, and show off.
5. Just got back from a Kentucky Derby party where they served mint juleps in red solo cups. Talk about a classy downgrade.
6. My wife asked why I watch the Kentucky Derby every year. I told her, “Babe, it’s my stable entertainment.”
7. Did you hear about the horse who lost the Kentucky Derby by a nose? He’s really snot about it.
8. What’s the difference between the Kentucky Derby and a unicorn? I’ve actually seen the Kentucky Derby.
9. Broke my smartwatch right before the Kentucky Derby… Guess I’ll have to track the race the mane-ual way.
10. Why don’t they serve beer at the Kentucky Derby? Because they don’t want a bunch of tipsy horses!
11. Someone just offered me 100-to-1 odds on the Kentucky Derby. Seems a little fishy… guess I should take the bait.
12. Spent the entire Kentucky Derby watching the horses with binoculars… I think they called security because I was really “stalking” them.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Kentucky Derby for a Winning Laugh

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kentucky Derby. Kentucky Derby who? Kentucky Derby a chance, I think you’ll love this hat!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mint. Mint who? Mint to be at the Kentucky Derby, but I heard the horses can’t stand the competition!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Foal. Foal who? Foal-ing in love with these fast horses!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Furlong. Furlong who? Furlong time, I haven’t seen a race this close!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Winner. Winner who? Winner you wearing that fancy hat to the Derby?
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kentucky. Kentucky who? Kentucky believe this horse is winning by a nose?!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horse. Horse who? Horse-ing around is thirsty work, let’s get a mint julep!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Churchill. Churchill who? Churchill downs, where the atmosphere is electric!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Finish. Finish who? Finish line fever – I can’t take the suspense!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jockey. Jockey who? Jockey-ing for position at the betting window is no easy feat!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Saddle. Saddle who? Saddle up, partner, we’re off to the Kentucky Derby!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Thoroughbred. Thoroughbred who? Thoroughbred and buttered, this race is exciting!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rose. Rose who? Rose are red, violets are blue, betting on the Derby is thrilling, it’s true!

Horsing Around: That’s a Wrap!

We hope these Kentucky Derby puns and jokes made you neigh with laughter! But the fun doesn’t stop here. Gallop on over to our website for more hilarious puns and jokes that are sure to make you the mane event at your next gathering!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

Facebook Pinterest Threads X (Twitter) YouTube