Get Ready to Wine-d Up with these 220+ Grape Puns & Jokes!

Welcome to our grape-tastic post filled with the vine-iest puns and jokes! We’ve handpicked the best ones to give you a burst of humor and make your day juicier. Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, these clever and positive puns about grapes are sure to tickle your funny bone. So get ready to have a grape time with our list of jokes that will make you go “wine-ing” for more! Let’s grape into it!

Get Your Daily Dose of Vitamin ‘Grape-titude’ with these Hilarious Picks!

1. Why did the grape go out with the prune? Because he couldn’t find a date.
2. How do you fix a broken grape? With grape-duct tape.
3. What do you call a grape that’s old and wrinkly? A raisin on vacation.
4. Why was the grape so nervous? Because he was about to get crushed.
5. What did the grape say when someone stepped on him? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
6. What do you get when you put a candle in a grape? A raisinette.
7. Why did the grape go to the doctor? Because he was feeling a little grapey.
8. How do you make a grape laugh? Tell it a grape joke.
9. What do you call a grape that’s all dressed up? A grape in a tuxedo.
10. What is a grape’s favorite city? Grape-land.
11. How do you organize a party in outer space? You planet with grapes.
12. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little whine.
13. Why did the grape go out with the banana? They had a-peeling chemistry.
14. Why did the grape sit on the couch all day? He was feeling a little wine-y.
15. What do you call a bunch of grapes hanging out together? Grape-vine.
16. What did the grape say to the lemon? “You’re looking sour today!”
17. Why don’t grapes ever get depressed? Because they’re always in their prime.
18. How do you make a grape shake? Put it in the freezer until it’s cold, then give it a little grape.
19. What do you call a grape that can’t stop singing? A grape-er.
20. Why was the grape feeling lonely? Because all his friends were in a jam.

Uncork the Laughter with these Grape One-Liner Jokes!

1. Why did the grape go to the doctor? Because it was feeling wine-sy.
2. What do you call a grape that’s a detective? Sherlock Homeslice.
3. Why did the grape quit its job? It couldn’t handle the raisin.
4. How does a grape answer the phone? “Yes, this is grape.”
5. Why was the grape afraid to jump into the bowl? Because it didn’t want to make a splash.
6. What do you get when you cross a grape with a ghost? A grape-boo.
7. Why was the grape feeling down? Because it had a bunch of problems.
8. How do you make a grape laugh? Tell it a grape joke.
9. Why did the grape fail out of math class? It couldn’t solve for x-pectations.
10. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
11. Why don’t grapes ever get in trouble? Because they’re always raisin’ Cain.
12. How do you fix a broken grape? With a grape-aid kit.
13. Why did the grape get arrested? It was caught raisin’ hell.
14. What did the grape say when it got complimented? “Aw, shucks.”
15. Why was the grape blushing? It saw the raisin it had a crush on.
16. How do grapes like to travel? In a grape-vine.
17. What did the grape say to the grapevine? “You’re my main squeeze.”
18. Why did the grape get into a fight? It was raisin’ cane.
19. What do you call a fake grape? A counter-fete.
20. Why did the grape go on strike? It was tired of being squished.

Sip On These Hilarious Grape Proverbs and Wise Sayings

1. “A grape a day keeps the doctor away…but a bottle a day keeps reality at bay.”
2. “A grape in hand is worth two vines in the bush.”
3. “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink wine…unless it’s made from grapes.”
4. “Winemaking is like alchemy…but instead of turning lead into gold, we turn grapes into liquid happiness.”
5. “In wine, there’s truth…and sometimes a little too much truth.”
6. “Life is like a vineyard, sometimes you just have to prune the dead weight.”
7. “Grapes don’t fall far from the vine…especially when they’re turned into wine.”
8. “A cluster of grapes a day keeps the stress away.”
9. “Wine improves with age, just like me.”
10. “Grapes don’t argue, they just make wine and let us do the talking.”
11. “It’s not good to keep all your grapes in one basket.”
12. “A glass of wine a day keeps the doctor…happy.”
13. “Speak softly and carry a big bottle of wine.”
14. “A grape never falls far from the vine, but it can roll pretty far after a few glasses of wine.”
15. “Life is like a good bottle of wine, it gets better with age…and sometimes a little corked.”
16. “Why count calories when you can count grapes?”
17. “Don’t cry over spilled milk, but feel free to shed a tear over spilled wine.”
18. “They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but I’d rather have a glass of red wine.”
19. “Wine is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy…and a little tipsy.”
20. “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine and that’s pretty close.”

Unwinding with QnA: Grape-ting a Good Laugh with Jokes & Puns!

1. Q: Why did the grape go to the doctor? A: Because it was feeling a little wine-y.
2. Q: What do you call a grape that’s afraid of heights? A: A scaredy-sultana.
3. Q: How did the grape get out of jail? A: It was bailed out.
4. Q: How do you make a grape go ‘pop’? A: Step on it with your root beer.
5. Q: What do you get when you cross a grape and a watermelon? A: A grapefruit!
6. Q: What did one grape say to the other who wasn’t pulling their weight? A: “Stop being such a lazy bunch.”
7. Q: Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? A: Because it ran out of juice.
8. Q: How many grapes does it take to make a bottle of wine? A: Depends on how much you drink while making it.
9. Q: What did one grape say to the other who was being annoying? A: “You’re really raisin’ my blood pressure.”
10. Q: How do you know if a grape is rolling downhill? A: It’s picking up speed.
11. Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A: It let out a little wine.
12. Q: Why did the grape go on a diet? A: Because it was tired of being called “plump”.
13. Q: What did the grape say to the banana in a fight? A: “You’re driving me bananas!”
14. Q: What did the grape say when it got stepped on by an elephant? A: “Nothing. It just let out a little wine.”
15. Q: Why did the grape break up with the raisin? A: It was getting too dried out.
16. Q: What did the grape do at the dance party? A: It started to grapevine.
17. Q: What’s a grape’s favorite exercise? A: The grapevine.
18. Q: How do you make a grape laugh? A: Tell it a bunch of jokes.
19. Q: Why was the grape so bad at driving? A: It kept running into raisins.
20. Q: What did one grape say to the other about their new haircut? A: “What a bunch of highlights!”

Raising the Stakes: Hilarious Dad Jokes & Puns about Grape

1. Why did the grape go out with the raisin? Because it couldn’t find a date.
2. What do you call grapes that have been stepped on? A grape crush.
3. Did you hear about the grape that got run over? He’s now a little raisin.
4. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
5. What’s a grape’s favorite kind of math? Grape-ometry.
6. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran over the raisin ahead.
7. What do you call a grape that’s afraid of the dark? A scaredy-raisin.
8. How do you fix a broken grape? With a grape aid kit.
9. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the race? It ran out of juice.
10. What’s the difference between grapes and kiwis? Grapes are born in bunches, kiwis are born solo.
11. What do you call a grape that’s been in the freezer too long? A grape popsicle.
12. Why don’t grapes ever get in trouble? Because they always listen to their vineyard guardian.
13. What did the grape say when it got stepped on multiple times? Nothing, it just let out a currant of despair.
14. How does a grape stay cool in the summer? It goes into the shade of its grape-leaf umbrella.
15. What do you call a messed up grape? A grape escape.
16. How do you make a grape laugh? Tell it a grape joke!
17. What do you call it when grapes are singing together? A grape chorus.
18. How do you know if a grape is telling the truth? You can see right through its grapevine.
19. Why couldn’t the grape take a vacation? It was always busy with its grapevine duties.
20. What do you get when you cross a grape with a watermelon? A watergrape.

Get Your Fill of Grape-Entwined Humor with These ‘Double Entendres Puns’

1. “I heard the grapevine that jokes about wine always fall flat.”
2. “Why couldn’t the grape make it to the party? Because it was stuck in a jam.”
3. “I can’t decide if I prefer red or white wine… I guess I’m just bi-curious.”
4. “My mom always said, ‘life is like a bunch of grapes, you never know which ones will be sour.'”
5. “Why did the grape go to the doctor? It was feeling vine.”
6. “I refuse to eat raisins, they’re just dried up old grapes trying to make a comeback.”
7. “Why did the grape get in trouble? It was caught peeling out in the vineyard.”
8. “I went to a wine tasting last night and ended up grape-ing the bottle the whole time.”
9. “I asked my grape friend to tell me a joke, but all he could come up with were puns – what a grape waste of time.”
10. “I’m trying to cut down on my wine intake… but it’s just grape-ful for my soul.”
11. “Why are grapes such good listeners? Because they’re always vine-ing.”
12. “My doctor told me to eat more fruit… so now I’m on a strict grape diet.”
13. “Why did the grape cross the road? To get to the vineyard.”
14. “I’m not a wine snob, I just prefer my grapes fermented and aged in oak barrels.”
15. “My boyfriend said he’s been feeling grape lately… I told him to stop whining and have a glass of wine.”
16. “What do you call a grape that gets stepped on? A grape stomper.”
17. “Why did the grape go out with a prune? Because they couldn’t find a decent date-mate.”
18. “I bought a bunch of grapes and they all turned out to be duds… what a grape disappointment.”
19. “I told my dog to fetch a grape, but he came back with a raisin. Now that’s just criminal negligence.”
20. “I don’t trust grapes, they always seem to be in a bunch and only show their true colors when they’re squeezed.”

Un-wine with these grape-eningly funny recursive puns about ‘Grape’

1. Why did the grape go to the doctor? Because it was feeling grape-y.
2. What’s a grape’s favorite type of music? Grape- hop.
3. How do you make a grape laugh? Tell it a bunch of puns.
4. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
5. What do you call a grape that got run over by a car? A grape-flattie.
6. What does a grape say when it gets scared? Oh my pips!
7. What did the grape do when it won the lottery? It let out a big bunch of grapes.
8. What’s a grape’s favorite TV show? Breaking Grape.
9. Why did the grape go to college? To get a degree in wineology.
10. How do grapes get around? They just grape-vine.
11. What do you call a bunch of grapes that are always arguing? A grape-vineyard.
12. How do you know when a grape is mad? It starts throwing grape-rage.
13. What did the grape say when it saw a ghost? Ahhh, it’s the grape-pir!
14. Why did the grape go to Hollywood? To become a grape-star.
15. How do you make a grape jealous? Put it inside a raisin.
16. What’s a grape’s favorite way to communicate? Via vine mail.
17. Why did the grape go on a diet? To get its grape shape back.
18. What did the grape say when it saw its crush? Oh my grapes, it’s love at first sight.
19. Why did the grape go on strike? It was tired of being squished into wine.
20. What do you call a grape that can’t stop talking? A grape-chatter.

Grape Expectations: The Juxtaposition of Juicy and Jovial Jokes

1. What do you call a grape that’s on a diet? An unraisinable grape!
2. Why did the grape quit his job? He was feeling unfulfilled in his wine-making career.
3. What’s a grape’s favorite exercise? The grapevine!
4. How did the grape get out of jail? He paid his fine in currant-cy.
5. What did the grape’s therapist say? You need to learn to wine less.
6. Why did the grape go to art school? He wanted to learn how to make a stunning still life.
7. How do grapes solve their problems? They talk it out in a raisin-cious manner.
8. Why did the grape decide to join the gym? He wanted to get into grape shape.
9. What did the grape say to the other grapes at the party? We are all bunching together!
10. How does a grape introduce himself? “Hi, I’m crushed.”
11. What is the grape’s favorite dance move? The grape-vine twist.
12. Why did the grape go to the dentist? He had a bad case of sour grapes.
13. How many grapes does it take to make a bottle of wine? Just one if you stomp hard enough.
14. Why did the grape refuse to wear sunscreen? He wanted to tan-gerine his own skin.
15. What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
16. Why did the grape go to jail? He got caught trying to raisin the roof.
17. What did the grape say to the raisin? You used to be so cool, what happened?
18. How do you scare a grape? Tell it you’re going to make it into wine.
19. Why did the grape go to therapy? He was feeling crushed and misunderstood.
20. What do you call a grape that’s always telling jokes? A grape-hydra-joking machine!

Hilarious Grape Malapropisms that will Leave You in a Vine-y State!

1. ) “I’m feeling really grapeful today!”
2. ) “I can’t wait to raisin my glass for a toast.”
3. ) “Let’s prune to the park for a picnic.”
4. ) “I’m vine with that decision.”
5. ) “I have a grape idea.”
6. ) “Don’t be such a sour grape.”
7. ) “This is a wino-win situation.”
8. ) “I was just grape-drunk last night.”
9. ) “I love grapefruit, it’s so refreshing.”
10. ) “Don’t be such a bunch of grapes.”
11. ) “I’ve been feeling a little raisin-y lately.”
12. ) “Grape minds think alike.”
13. ) “I’m not trying to wine, but can we do something fun tonight?”
14. ) “I’ve always been a fan of grape fiction.”
15. ) “Let’s get grapey at the party.”
16. ) “I grape you have a good day.”
17. ) “I’m just trying to keep my raisins straight.”
18. ) “That dress is so grape on you.”
19. ) “Who’s ready for some great grapes?”
20. ) “Don’t make a mountain out of a grape hill.”

Juicy Jokes: Try These Grape Tom Swifties for a Good Laugh!

1. “I can’t eat any more grapes,” Tom said unconvincingly.
2. “These are the biggest grapes I’ve ever seen,” Tom said fruitfully.
3. “I accidentally swallowed a grape whole,” Tom said seedlessly.
4. “I’m not a fan of grape-flavored drinks,” Tom said blandly.
5. “I have a grape phobia,” Tom said fearfully.
6. “I can’t find my grape costume for the party,” Tom said frantically.
7. “I don’t think I’ll ever win a grape stomping competition,” Tom said depressingly.
8. “I can’t believe I bought seedless grapes,” Tom said pitifully.
9. “I think I ate too many grapes,” Tom said sourly.
10. “I wish there was a grape shortage,” Tom said ironically.
11. “I heard there’s a grape thief in the neighborhood,” Tom said stealthily.
12. “I love the smell of grapes in the fridge,” Tom said muskily.
13. “I’m going to start a grape farm,” Tom said fruitfully.
14. “I think I’m allergic to grapes,” Tom said snifflingly.
15. “I’m going to make grape jelly from scratch,” Tom said currantly.
16. “I can’t believe I bought a bunch of sour grapes,” Tom said bitterly.
17. “I have a grape-sized brain,” Tom said thoughtfully.
18. “I prefer white grapes over red,” Tom said racially.
19. “I’m going to buy a vineyard and become a grape tycoon,” Tom said richly.
20. “I can’t wait to see the grape stomping festival,” Tom said excitedly.

Grape Expectations: Hilarious Spoonerisms Inspired by This Fruitful Wine!

1. “Grape Escape” for “Great Ape”
2. “Crape Gape” for “Great Cape”
3. “Grapey File” for “Flypaper”
4. “Sape Greeds” for “Great Speeds”
5. “Grape Flapping” for “Fate Grappling”
6. “Grape Naps” for “Nate Grasps”
7. “Ape Graypes” for “Great Shapes”
8. “Grape Bunches” for “Baiting Crunches”
9. “Drake Gapes” for “Great Dates”
10. “Grape Stakes” for “Straight Gapes”
11. “Hate Grapes” for “Great Hates”
12. “Grapey Flips” for “Fleap Bye”
13. “Cape Drapes” for “Drape Capes”
14. “Grape Spree” for “Spake Gree”
15. “Babe Graze” for “Grave Blaze”
16. “Grape Flakes” for “Flake Grapes”
17. “Shape Grapes” for “Grape Shapes”
18. “Nape Grotesque” for “Great Note”
19. “Grape Rake” for “Rape Greg”
20. “Crape Scoop” for “Scape Coup”

Juicy Punchlines: Knock-Knock Jokes About Grape That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Grape. Grape who? Grape minds think alike!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Juice. Juice who? Juice gonna let me in or what?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vine. Vine who? Vine-tage jokes never get old.
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Grapefruit. Grapefruit who? Grapefruit compliments to the chef!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Purple. Purple who? Purple-icious grapes coming your way!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seedless. Seedless who? Seedless no more, I found a seed in my grape!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Napa. Napa who? Napa-lm of a joke, sorry not sorry!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Punch. Punch who? Punch me in the grape, please!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jelly. Jelly who? Jelly good joke, right?
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Con-cord. Con-cord who? Con-cord is my favorite grape variety.
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Plump. Plump who? Plump, juicy grapes for you.
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Grape-nuts. Grape-nuts who? Grape-nuts cereal is made of grapes, duh!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Season. Season who? Season’s greetings from the grape family.
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bunch. Bunch who? Bunch of grapes coming your way!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harvest. Harvest who? Harvest time for grape puns.
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Thrive. Thrive who? Thrive on grape humor.
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Muscat. Muscat who? Muscat of wine, anyone?
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Merlot. Merlot who? Merlot me in, it’s getting cold out here!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Burgundy. Burgundy who? Burgundy see you laughing at my jokes!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raisin. Raisin who? Raisin the roof with these grape jokes!

Wrapping Up: The Grape-est Puns Around!

Well folks, that wraps up our post on 220+ grape jokes. We hope you had a berry good time reading through these puns and couldn’t resist letting out a grape laugh or two. And if you still can’t get enough of grape humor, don’t vine-d yourself to this post. Check out our other related puns and jokes for even more grape entertainment. Now go forth and spread the grape-ness with your friends and family. Cheers!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

Facebook Pinterest Threads X (Twitter) YouTube