Harvest Some Laughter: 220+ Farm Jokes & Puns!

Welcome to our list of the best farm puns and jokes for kids! We’ve rounded up some clever and positive humor guaranteed to make you chuckle. We promise you won’t find any corny jokes here (unless we’re talking about actual corn, of course). These jokes are barnyard tested and cow approved to bring a smile to your face. So put down that pitchfork and get ready to laugh with our funny farm puns!

Get ‘Moo”-ving and Laughing with these Top Picks of Farm Puns & Jokes

1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
2. I asked the farmer what he was growing in his field. He said, “Oh, just a bunch of corny jokes.”
3. Why don’t cows have any money? Because they’re always dairy-ing it up to survive.
4. What do you call a pig that knows karate? Pork chop.
5. I tried to buy some land from a farmer, but he wanted cash cow up front.
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
7. What do you call a chicken staring at a piece of lettuce? Poultry in motion.
8. What’s a farmer’s favorite genre of music? Crop and roll.
9. Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster.
10. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
11. How does a bee get to work? Buzz takes the flyway.
12. Why did the sheep go on a diet? Because it wanted to put it less wool and focus on its shear strength.
13. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? Put it on my bill.
14. Why was the horse so jumpy? Because it was having a hay day.
15. Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field.
16. Why did the farmer feed his chickens plastic eggs? He wanted them to lay a-corny diet.
17. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
18. How do chickens stay fit? They eggs-ercise daily.
19. What do you call a group of cows dancing? The moooo-ving herd.
20. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

Reap Some Laughs with These Farm-tastic One-Liner Jokes

1. I accidentally drove my tractor through a field of hay. It was a hay-rrific mistake!
2. What do you call a cow that’s just given birth? De-calf-inated.
3. I asked the farmer if he had any pigs for sale, and he said no, they were all hogs already.
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
5. I tried to start a chicken farming business, but it never took off. All my chickens kept crossing the road.
6. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
7. Did you hear about the dispute between the farmer and the scarecrow? It was straw-ful.
8. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
9. I told my wife I was going to trade our cow for some magic beans. She said I was udderly ridiculous.
10. What did the corn say when it got complimented? Aww, shucks!
11. Why did the sheep go to the doctor? It was feeling baa-d.
12. I wanted to become a vegetarian, but then I realized it was a huge missed steak.
13. What’s black, white, and red all over? A sunburnt zebra.
14. Why are cows always broke? Because they’re always moo-lahs.
15. Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work!
16. How do you know if a farm is haunted? The tractor keeps screaming “boo-diesel.”
17. What do you get when you cross a cow and a trampoline? A milkshake.
18. I wanted to learn how to shear sheep, but I couldn’t find anyone who would wool teach me.
19. How does a farmer count his cows? With a cowculator.
20. I told the farmer I wanted to buy a small farm, and he said “Okay, but remember, size mooo-ers.”

Harvesting Hilarity: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Farm Life

1. “A farmer’s fortune is rooted in hard work and manure.”
2. “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, or you’ll end up with just eggs for breakfast.”
3. “A lazy farmer’s field is always full of weeds.”
4. “When life gives you cow manure, make compost.”
5. “An empty barn never caught a mouse.”
6. “You can lead a cow to pasture, but you can’t make her moo.”
7. “A farmer’s best fertilizer is a genuine smile from Mother Nature.”
8. “Good fences make good neighbors, but electric fences make even better ones.”
9. “Life is like a chicken coop, you never know which egg will hatch first.”
10. “A penny saved is a penny to buy a new tractor.”
11. “Better a good harvest of potatoes than a bad harvest of arguments.”
12. “A farmer’s greatest skill is knowing when to plant and when to plow.”
13. “Don’t milk a cow with a grumpy disposition, or you’ll end up with sour cream.”
14. “Time flies like a pig being chased by a farmer with a butcher knife.”
15. “A dusty road is a sign of a hardworking farmer.”
16. “No matter how far you roam, the farm will always be your home.”
17. “Hunger is the best sauce, but a side of bacon never hurts.”
18. “The farmer’s wife is the real boss of the barnyard.”
19. “A windy day on the farm is just nature’s way of giving us a day off from chores.”
20. “You reap what you sow, so don’t be surprised if you end up with a field full of weeds.”

Harvesting Laughs: QnA Jokes & Puns about Farming

1. Why did the farmer win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. What do you call a cow that plays music? A moo-sician!
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his corn-field!
4. How do you fix a broken vegetable? With a beet-a-max!
5. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop!
6. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
7. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A candy ba-a-a-a!
8. Where do sheep go to get haircuts? The baa-baa shop!
9. What do you call a cow that’s just had a baby? De-calf-enated!
10. How do you make a farmer’s day? Write it in your dairy!
11. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
12. What did the baby corn say to its mom? Where’s my popcorn?
13. How does a farmer count his cows? With a cow-culator!
14. What do you call a horse who can’t lose weight? A fat-ony!
15. Why did the scarecrow win an award every year? Because he knew how to book the corn-edians!
16. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
17. How does a farmer fix his pants? With a cabbage patch!
18. Why don’t sheep go to parties? Because they’re afraid of being put on the lamb!
19. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
20. How do you make a fruit punch? Give it boxing lessons!

‘Garden’-variety Dad Jokes & Puns about the ‘Farm’ily

1. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? “Where’s my deere tractor?”
2. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
3. Why did the farmer quit his job? He couldn’t handle the shear pressure.
4. How do you make a milkshake on a farm? You herd it through the cows.
5. What do you call a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-inated!
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
7. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
8. Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter? She was seasonally employed.
9. Why did the pig go into the kitchen? To cook up a ham-burger.
10. What do you call a farm that specializes in potatoes? A spud farm!
11. Why was the scarecrow looking for a job? He was outstanding in his field!
12. What do you call a cow that’s just had a baby? Decalf-inated!
13. What did one corn stalk say to the other? “I can’t believe how stalky we look!”
14. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
15. How do farmers grow such large pumpkins? They give them pumpkin-spice!
16. Why don’t cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry!
17. What did the farmer use to decorate his carrots? A pumpkin-carving knife!
18. How many ears does a farmer have? One on each side of his head!
19. Why couldn’t the farmer fix his fence? He had to mooo-ve on to other tasks!
20. What did the pig say when it was cold outside? “I’m bacon!”

From Baaaa-d jokes to corny quips: Farming Double Entendres Puns

1. “I love spending my days on the farm, it really brings out my inner ‘tractor’ enthusiast.”
2. “I never understood why cows were always so ‘moo-dy’ until I started milking them.”
3. “It’s amazing how easily vegetables grow on the farm, they must have a really ‘crop-tastic’ time.”
4. “I accidentally used all the fertilizer on one patch of soil, now it’s really ‘crap’-tivating.”
5. “I couldn’t find the pigs on the farm, I guess they were off ‘hamming’ it up somewhere.”
6. “I’ve been trying to cross-breed my chickens to make them more efficient, but now they’re all ‘egg-cited’.”
7. “My chickens are practically celebrities on the farm, they’re always laying ‘eggs-tra’ special eggs.”
8. “I bought a new scarecrow for the farm, but all it did was ‘crow’-ded the vegetable patch even more.”
9. “I never knew sheep had such great balance until I saw them ‘mane’-taining their wool.”
10. “I always feel like a detective on the farm, constantly searching for hidden ‘clues’ among the hay.”
11. “My neighbor’s pig always greets me with a ‘snout-standing’ wave when I visit the farm.”
12. “I never thought I’d be ‘udder’-ly fascinated by cows, but here I am milking them every day.”
13. “I tried to teach my pig to play an instrument, but all she did was get ‘boar’-ed and sleep.”
14. “I never realized how much a chicken can ‘wing’ it until I saw them maneuver around the coop.”
15. “Who knew horses could pull off a bowtie? They really know how to ‘tailor’ their looks.”
16. “My goat is always so energetic on the farm, it’s like he’s ‘kid’-ding around all the time.”
17. “I thought I was getting a good deal on hay for the farm, but it turned out to be a real ‘bale-out’.”
18. “I’m trying to cut back on expenses for the farm, so I’ve been ‘chocking’ up the chores.”
19. “I never knew pigs were so good at yoga until I saw my neighbor’s doing ‘snout’-stand poses.”
20. “I tried to teach my horse to dance, but she just ended up ‘clop’-ing around instead.”

Get ready to ‘corn’-fuse your friends with these ‘baa-d’ recursive puns about farm!

1. What do you call a farmer who can’t find his tractor? A lost cause-ade.
2. Can you milk a cow that’s on a diet? No, she’s udderly lactose-intolerant.
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
4. What did the pig say when it ran away from the farm? I’m sow sorry!
5. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
6. Why did the farmer bury all his money in the fields? He wanted to grow rich.
7. What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? De-calf-inated.
8. How does a farmer count his cows? With a cow-culator.
9. Did you hear about the farmer who married a mermaid? He’s living a seaweed dream.
10. Why did the sheep go to work in the mine? For the shear thrill of it.
11. What did the bee say to the farmer? Hay there, honey!
12. Why did the scarecrow go to the therapist? He was feeling straw-essed out.
13. How does a farmer fix his jeans? With a cabbage patch.
14. Why did the horse go on strike? He wanted stable working conditions.
15. What do you call a horse going through a mid-life crisis? A stable pony.
16. Why did the farmer start a music festival on his land? He wanted to raise some crop-tunes.
17. What did the corn say to the farmer? Aw, shucks.
18. How did the farmer find his missing cow? He followed her moosic.
19. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
20. Did you hear about the snail who bought a farm? He’s loving his slow-paced life.

From ‘E-I-E-I-O’ to ‘Knock Knock’: Farm Juxtaposition Jokes for a Good Laugh

1. Why did the farmer quit his job? Because he was tired of dealing with so much rye humor!
2. What did the cow say when it crossed the road? “Mooove out of my way!”
3. Why did the farmer win an award? Because he was out standing in his field!
4. Did you hear about the angry pig? He was bacon mad!
5. What did the tomato say to the farmer? “Don’t squash my dreams!”
6. How do you make a farmer laugh? Tell him a corny joke!
7. What did the chicken say when it laid a square egg? “Now that’s what I call egg-cellent!”
8. Why don’t cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry!
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
10. What do you call a cow that’s just given birth? Decaffeinated!
11. How do farmers count their cows? With a cowculator!
12. Why did the farmer ride a horse to work? Because his tractor was broken!
13. How do you keep a cowboy in suspense? I’ll tell you next time he’s at the saloon!
14. What do you call a cow who just had a baby? De-calf-inated!
15. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!
16. What do you call a potato that’s been farming all its life? An old spud-tanic!
17. How do you make a farmer happy? Give him a pitchfork and tell him to rake a hike!
18. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field, and corn-gratulated for it!
19. What did the pig say to the horse? “I envy your mane!”
20. “How do you know when a cow is hiding?” “When it’s moo-t!”

Down on the ‘Phlegm Farm’: Hilarious Malapropisms from the Barnyard

1. Cow-ntess (countess)
2. Sheep-shot (sharpshoot)
3. Barn-yard (barnyard)
4. Corn-stalk (con man)
5. Hay-day (heyday)
6. Fowl-ball (foolball)
7. Past-yourize (pasturize)
8. Hog-tied (bow-tied)
9. Ram-shackle (ramshackle)
10. Crop-debtor (crop-duster)
11. Cluck-up (muck-up)
12. Calf-rah (cow-rah)
13. Hoe-down (hoedown)
14. Pig-malion (Pygmalion)
15. Farm-sity (familiarity)
16. Dairy-maiden (daring maiden)
17. Hay-wire (highwire)
18. Poultry-geist (poltergeist)
19. Silo-cone (silicone)
20. Root-beer (rude behavior)

Breaking Farm News: Tom Swifties Plow Through Corny Puns!

1. “I’m the best at raising chickens,” said Tom Hennely.
2. “I’m sorry the pigs got loose,” Tom boared.
3. “This tractor needs some work,” Tom mowed.
4. “I can’t believe I stepped in cow dung,” Tom mooed.
5. “The milk is getting a bit sour,” Tom curdled.
6. “I hope the crops don’t get eaten by bugs,” Tom buzzed.
7. “I need to buy more fertilizer,” Tom manured.
8. “That chicken is a real show off,” Tom strutted.
9. “I’ll take care of it myself,” said Tom, single-handedly.
10. “I’ll never climb that tall haystack,” Tom bailed out.
11. “I think it’s time to shear the sheep,” Tom fleeced.
12. “I can’t wait for harvest season,” Tom ear-marked.
13. “The horses are getting a bit rowdy,” Tom neighed.
14. “Time to plow the fields,” Tom tilled.
15. “I don’t think I can handle all these chores,” Tom baled.
16. “We need to get a new scarecrow,” Tom crowed.
17. “I’m not afraid of getting my hands dirty,” Tom mucked around.
18. “I’m going horseback riding today,” Tom saddled up.
19. “I can’t believe I got stung by a bee,” Tom buzzed off.
20. “This barn needs some repairs,” Tom nailed it.

Funny ‘Harmed Farms’: Spoonerisms About the Barnyard

1. “Dairy Fibber” instead of “Fairy Dibber”
2. “Sill Pecker” instead of “Pill Seeker”
3. “Mucking Radel” instead of “Rucking Madel”
4. “Tunken Swine” instead of “Sunken Twine”
5. “Chick Shucker” instead of “Tick Chucker”
6. “Quack Dealer” instead of “Duck Quailer”
7. “Sheep Trimmer” instead of “Heap Trimmer”
8. “Farming Blunder” instead of “Barming Flunder”
9. “Corn Shreader” instead of “Shorn Creader”
10. “Plow Tissue” instead of “Tow Plissue”
11. “Hay Chucker” instead of “Chay Hucker”
12. “Barn Farmer” instead of “Farn Barmer”
13. “Cow Tipper” instead of “Tow Clipper”
14. “Mare Kicker” instead of “Care Micker”
15. “Pig Shammer” instead of “Shig Pammer”
16. “Hog Twitcher” instead of “Tog Hitcher”
17. “Bale Chopper” instead of “Chale Bopper”
18. “Vegetable Feeder” instead of “Fegetable Veeder”
19. “Wool Spinner” instead of “Sool Winner”
20. “Chicken Runcher” instead of “Ricken Chuncher”

Harvest Some Laughs with These Knock-knock Jokes about Farm!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow-moo-nicating to your door!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hen. Hen who? Hen-gry for some corny jokes?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tractor. Tractor who? Tractor-tion in the barnyard!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horse. Horse who? Horse-laughing at my jokes?
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Baa. Baa who? Baa-my door, it’s cold outside!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pig. Pig who? Pig-ing out on some jokes right now.
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sheep. Sheep who? Sheep-over in your pasture later?
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goat. Goat who? Goat to tell you a joke!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Corn. Corn who? Corn we be best farm friends?
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rabbit. Rabbit who? Rabbit down to the farm for some funny puns?
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Duck. Duck who? Duck-in’ in the pond, doin’ my knock-knock routine!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Barn. Barn who? Barn on the dance floor!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Egg. Egg who? Egg-cuse me, do you have any more jokes?
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hay. Hay who? Hay there, wanna join in on the puns?
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Milk. Milk who? Milk-shake a leg and tell me a joke!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Silage. Silage who? Silage-tly laughing at your jokes.
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Calf. Calf who? Calf-way to the punchline!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Applesolutely love these farm jokes.
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Farmer. Farmer who? Farmer-tastic jokes, am I right?
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cheese. Cheese who? Cheesin’ for some laughs over here!

Harvest these hilarious farm puns!

And that’s a wrap folks! We hope these puns and jokes about farms have brought you plenty of laughs and moooo-d boosts. But don’t let the fun stop here, be sure to check out our other punny posts like ‘Corn-y Puns’ and ‘Barn Yard Banter.’ Happy farming and keep milking those laughs!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

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