Hey there, all you cool cats and giggly graduates! With the end of the school year upon us, it’s time to bust out some witty and punny jokes about graduation. Because let’s face it, what better way to celebrate your academic accomplishments than with some clever wordplay and a whole lot of humor?
So get ready to laugh and impress your friends with our list of the best graduation puns. We guarantee it will be a graduation ceremony like no other – filled with positivity, cleverness, and of course, lots of funny moments. Let’s raise our tassels and get ready for some epic comedic relief.
Crack Up Your Classmates with These Graduation Puns & Jokes – Our Top Picks!
- “Why did the graduate get a degree in baking? Because they wanted to make some dough!”
- “What did the diploma say to the graduate? ‘I’m parchment you made it!'”
- “Why did the math student skip the graduation ceremony? They didn’t want to have to calculate their student loans!”
- “What do you call a group of graduates? A class-action lawsuit!”
- “How did the high school student feel when they graduated? Re-leaved!”
- “Why did the geology student graduate with honors? They roc-ked all their classes!”
- “What do you call a graduate with an art degree? A masterpiece!”
- “Why did the biology graduate love their degree? It was the root of all their success!”
- “What did the English graduate say when asked how they’re feeling? ‘I am well-read-y to conquer the world!'”
- “Why did the history major graduate with flying colors? They knew their past and future!”
- “What’s a graduate’s favorite type of music? Grad-uation songs!”
- “Why did the chemistry student drop out of college? They couldn’t handle the heat!”
- “How did the physics graduate celebrate their degree? By throwing a party with all their potential and kinetic friends!”
- “What do you call a graduate who’s good at sports? An all-star student!”
- “Why was the psychology student so successful after graduation? They understood the human brain and how to psych others out!”
- “What do you call a graduate from a school of performing arts? A dram-atic success!”
- “Why did the computer science major graduate at the top of their class? They had all the right algorithms!”
- “What did the graduate say when asked how they feel about their future? ‘I’m ready to excel!'”
- “Why was the philosophy major’s graduation speech so long? Because they kept pondering over their words!”
- “What do you call a graduate who can’t stop dancing? Happy feet with a degree!”
From caps and gowns to adulting in one punchline: Graduation One-Liner Jokes
- “Why did the graduate get a degree in meteorology? Because he wanted to make rain on his parade.”
- “My graduation gown was so wrinkled, I looked like I was wearing a diploma on my back.”
- “I tried to come up with a witty graduation quote, but I was too diploma-sed.”
- “College graduation is like a toaster, it takes too long to get there and when you finally do, everyone just cheers and you’re left wondering what the big deal is.”
- “Apparently, graduating summa cum laude doesn’t guarantee me a job at Starbucks.”
- “I finally have a degree in hand, but still no idea what I want to be when I grow up.”
- “My parents always told me to reach for the stars, but all I got at graduation was a piece of paper.”
- “Why did the scarecrow get a degree? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
- “I may have graduated, but I’ll always be an eternal procrastinator.”
- “They say you should never give up, but my student loans are making a strong argument against that.”
- “Why did the graduate take a calculator to graduation? Just in case he had to do some quick math on his student loan debt.”
- “I graduated with honors and all I got was this lousy pun.”
- “After four years of college, all I learned was how to survive on coffee and ramen noodles.”
- “Why did the graduate refuse to walk across the stage? Because he was sure he’d trip and fall into student loan debt.”
- “Looking at my graduation gown, I finally understand why they call it a ‘cap’ and gown. It’s the amount of money you’ll owe after you’re done.”
- “Why did the MBA student decide to become an astronaut? Because he wanted to reach new heights of debt.”
- “The real graduation ceremony is realizing you’ll never have to attend a lecture or do homework again.”
- “Why did the English major switch to a math degree in his last semester? Because he needed to add some numbers to his resume.”
- “I may have graduated, but I’m pretty sure I left my sanity in the library.”
- “The only thing I graduated with was a strong desire to take a long nap.”
Laugh your way into the real world with these hilarious proverbs and wise sayings about graduation
- Don’t cry because it’s over, graduate to the next chapter and party like it’s your last exam.
- Knowledge is power, but make sure your graduation cap doesn’t make your head too heavy.
- A degree will help you get a job, but piggybacking off your parents’ Netflix account will save you money.
- The tassel is worth the hassle, but student loans are worth the tears.
- Congrats on your degree, now you can finally put that “professional procrastinator” title to use.
- Just remember, the real world has no summer vacation.
- Education is important, but let’s face it, the real graduation is when you move out of your parents’ house.
- On graduation day, remember to thank your parents, your profs, and Google.
- The future is bright, but make sure you wear sunscreen.
- Kudos on graduating, now the real challenge begins – adulting.
- It’s not about the destination, it’s about the degree (but also the destination).
- You may have graduated, but let’s see how long it takes you to pay off your student loans.
- You can now add “master procrastinator” to your resume.
- It’s not how many times you fall, it’s how many course credits you need to retake.
- Don’t worry if you don’t have a job lined up, just tell people you’re taking a gap year (or two).
- Time flies when you’re in college, but unemployment flies even faster.
- Here’s to all the all-nighters, ramen noodles, and caffeine-fueled breakdowns – they were worth it.
- Graduation is like a trampoline, it’s bouncy and scary at first, but then you realize it’s a lot of fun.
- Don’t forget to write a heartfelt thank you letter to your textbooks before you burn them.
- Congrats on graduating, now you can use your degree to craft the perfect resume for your dream job at Starbucks.
Class of ‘punny’ Graduates: Hilarious QnA Jokes & Puns about Graduation
- Q: Why did the math student graduate in just three years? A: Because he aced all his classes!
- Q: What did the graduate say to his hat? A: You stay here, I’ll go get the diploma!
- Q: What do you call a fish that just graduated? A: A school of thought!
- Q: How did the college student pass his final exams? A: With flying colors!
- Q: Why did the freshman feel relieved after graduation? A: Because he was finally a senior!
- Q: What did the graduate say to his parents? A: Thanks for putting up with my freshman 15.
- Q: What do you call a graduate who works at a sandwich shop? A: A sub-graduate!
- Q: What do you call a graduate with a degree in geology? A: A rockstar!
- Q: What did the mom say when her child graduated with a degree in music? A: Thanks for playing!
- Q: Why was the valedictorian late to graduation? A: He was making sure he calculated his GPA correctly.
- Q: Why did the chemistry major make a great speaker at graduation? A: He had good chemistry with the audience!
- Q: What do you call a graduate who loves Vietnamese food? A: A pho-graduate!
- Q: Why was the history major bummed at graduation? A: Because he learned about the past, not job opportunities.
- Q: What do you call a graduate who only studied on the weekends? A: A weekend-warrior!
- Q: Why did the computer science major go to the gym after graduation? A: To become a chip off the old block!
- Q: What did the proud dad say to his graduating daughter? A: You make me so proud, I am beaming with joy!
- Q: Why did the linguistics major attend his graduation ceremony? A: To achieve vowel-e-dictory!
- Q: What do you call a graduate with a degree in marketing? A: A sale-a-bration!
- Q: Why was the business major so confident at graduation? A: He had a degree in self-promotion!
- Q: What did the drama major say to the other graduates? A: Break a leg in your future endeavors!
Throwing Cap-tivating Humor: Dad Jokes & Puns about Graduation
- Why was the high school student feeling confident at graduation? Because they aced their final exams!
- What do you call a graduating snake? A class viper.
- How do you make a tissue dance at graduation? Put a little boogie in it.
- Why did the graduating student wear sunglasses to the ceremony? The future looked bright!
- Why was the math student a hit at graduation? They divided and conquered.
- What did the 2020 graduating class say? Hindsight is 20/20!
- What did the psychology major say at graduation? “I’m graduating summa cum laude, it’s no Freudian slip.”
- What do you call it when a graduating student trips onstage? A grad-uation.
- Where do graduating cows go? To mooo-va on to college.
- Why did the graduating senior go on stage with a ladder? Because they were headed for high school!
- What did the janitor say when he saw the graduating class throw their caps in the air? “Looks like we have a cap-s-tastrophy on our hands!”
- Why did the laptop get a diploma at graduation? It was outstanding in its field.
- Did you hear about the valedictorian who graduated without a speech? He didn’t have anything to ad-dress!
- How did the college student pay for their graduation gown? with a degree card!
- Did you hear about the pizza that graduated high school early? It got too much extra crust.
- What do you call it when a graduate falls off the stage? A mistake-ke-ke-ke!
- What type of music do balloons hate? Pop music, especially at graduation ceremonies.
- Why was the English major depressed at graduation? Too much pro-shoulder-ing left them feeling depressed.
- What did one hat say to the other at graduation? “I’ve got you covered, buddy.”
- What did the diploma say to the graduating student? “You’re officially hot stuff now.”
Making a Gradual-tion to Double Entendres: Puns to Brighten Up Your Big Day
- “I finally graduated from college, time to say goodbye to my GPA and hello to being #1 in the unemployment line.”
- “My graduation cap says ‘Class of 2021’ but my bank account says ‘Class of Broke.'”
- “I guess you could say I’m graduating ‘Cum Laude-terally can’t find a job.'”
- “I wanted to give a funny speech at graduation, but my student loan payments will be the ultimate punchline.”
- “It’s been a long journey, but I’m finally done with all my essays and ready for Netflix marathons.”
- “After four years of partying and procrastinating, I’ve mastered the art of bullshitting my way through exams.”
- “I’m officially a college graduate, which means I can now add ‘professional procrastinator’ to my resume.”
- “My cap says ‘Tassel was worth the hassle’ but my degree says ‘I hope this was worth the crippling debt.'”
- “Life is like a box of chocolates, some will graduate summa cum laude while others will graduate just sauda cuppa coffee.”
- “They say ‘the sky’s the limit’ after graduation, but I’m pretty sure my student loans will keep me firmly grounded.”
- “I may have a fancy degree now, but I still can’t figure out how to fold a fitted sheet.”
- “My diploma may say ‘Bachelor of Arts’ but I’m pretty sure I majored in late nights and caffeine addiction.”
- “I’ve been preparing for this moment my whole life – standing up straight while someone puts a hat on my head.”
- “Four years and thousands of dollars later, and all I have to show for it is this piece of paper and crippling anxiety about the future.”
- “I may be graduating, but I’m still waiting for someone to send me a Hogwarts acceptance letter.”
- “The only thing I’ve learned in college is that it’s socially acceptable to eat pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
- “They say you can do anything you set your mind to after graduation, but I’m pretty sure binge-watching Netflix isn’t a career path.”
- “I graduated top of my class, but my mom still calls me ‘mijo’ and makes me take out the trash.”
- “They say ‘the best is yet to come’ after graduation, but I have a feeling my days of ramen noodle dinners are far from over.”
- “I finally have a degree in hand, and yet I still have no idea how taxes work.”
Going the extra mile with these ‘Graduation’ puns – they’re ‘recursively’ good!
- Why did the graduate become a doctor? Because they wanted to make a graduation!
- What did the diploma say to the graduate? I’m diploma-cated to you!
- Why was the graduation ceremony held outdoors? So everyone could get some fresh air and degrees!
- What did the hat say to the tassel on graduation day? You hang here often?
- How did the graduate celebrate? They threw a mortarboard into the air, and it came back down as a diploma!
- Why did the student get an A in their graduation speech? Because it was an A-dress!
- What do you call a graduate who loves math? A summa cum laude!
- Why did the graduate have trouble deciding what to wear? They were torn between business casual and party formal!
- How did the commencement speech start? “Enough about you, let’s talk about me!”
- What did the parent say when their child graduated with honors? “You’re making my heart graduate-ful!”
- What do you call a graduate’s favorite game? diploma-cy!
- Why did the graduate take up boxing? To get a knockout degree!
- How did the student feel on the last day of school? They were diploma-atically relieved!
- What did the teacher say to the struggling student on graduation day? “Don’t worry, you did your best and that’s good enough!”
- How did the graduate celebrate getting their degree? They threw a cap and gown party!
- Why was the graduation ceremony held on a ship? Because everyone was sailing towards success and degrees!
- What does a graduate owl always say? “Whoooo’s got a degree?”
- Why did the student throw their cap in the air? They wanted to make their mark on graduation day!
- How did the college senior feel after final exams? Graduat-ed out!
- What did the graduate say when they couldn’t find a job? “I guess I’ll just have to degree-clare unemployment!”
Class of Comedy: Graduation Juxtaposition Jokes!
- “What do you call bees who have just received their diplomas? Gradu-bees!”
- “Why did the mushroom go to college? To get a spore degree!”
- “Why did the tomato graduate at the top of its class? Because it knew how to ketchup on its studies!”
- “How does a campus express its love for its graduates? With a cap-ital letters!”
- “Why did the pencil get expelled from school? For drawing too many conclusions.”
- “Why did the chemistry major fail his final exam? He couldn’t find any good solutions!”
- “Why did the math book go to therapy? It had too many problems!”
- “What did the graduation cap say to the tassel? You hang around, I’ll go on ahead!”
- “Why did the computer science major want to major in theater as well? So he could have a backup play.”
- “Why did the astronaut who graduated at the bottom of his space class get a consolation prize? A constellation prize!”
- “Why did the geography major go to law school? Because they heard there were a lot of cases.”
- “Why did the football player skip graduation? He didn’t want to walk too many yards.”
- “Why did the music major switch to philosophy? It was a major change of tune.”
- “Why did the nursing student want to specialize in anatomy? She wanted to excel in her dissections.”
- “Why did the art student fail his final project? He kept drawing blanks.”
- “Why did the history major start their own business after graduation? They wanted to make herstory.”
- “Why did the English major become a lawyer? She wanted to lit-erary win every argument.”
- “Why did the psychology major take up gardening after graduation? So he could study the minds of plants.”
- “Why did the biology major want to be an author? She already had a way with words.”
- “Why did the engineering major become a chef after graduation? She was tired of just solving equations, she wanted to add some spice to her life.”
Mixing Up Words at Graduation: Hilarious Malapropisms to Remember
- “I’m so excited to celebrate my educational aerated!”
- “I can’t believe we’re finally through with all the brainwash!”
- “This graduation is a real bittersweet mastication.”
- “I can’t wait to walk across the tassel and get my degree!”
- “After years of procrastination, I’m finally a graduate!”
- “I can’t believe I’m getting my high school degree decimal”
- “I’m ready to throw my gradation cap in the air and say yay-dios!”
- “It feels like just yesterday I was a freshman in high school, agora I’m getting my degree!”
- “I’m so proud of my melanoma for graduating with honors.”
- “My parents must be so premeditated to see me graduate.”
- “I can’t wait to call myself a collegian gradulate!”
- “I’ve got my diploma and now I’m ready for a new suppository.”
- “I’m so grateful to have received my education chassis.”
- “It’s a real accomplishment to end my academic period on a high horse.”
- “I’m ready to take on the real word after my graduated school experience.”
- “I’m officially a master of social engineering after this graduation.”
- “My parents must be so creatively for finally seeing me graduate.”
- “I can’t wait to leave the education system and enter the corporate octopus.”
- “I feel so emancipated now that I’ve graduated college.”
- “I’m excited to start my new journey as a photo lawyer after graduating law school!”
Commencement Capers: Playful Tom Swifties to Rock Your Graduation!
- “I can’t believe I finally made it,” Tom said with a relieved graduation.
- “I’m so ready to enter the real world,” Tom said with a degree of enthusiasm.
- “I’m officially a college graduate,” Tom said with a diploma-tic tone.
- “I’m just glad those late night study sessions are over,” Tom said wearily.
- “I can’t wait to start my dream job,” Tom said with a career-driven graduation.
- “I’m going to make my family proud,” Tom said with a degree of determination.
- “I can finally say goodbye to ramen noodles and hello to real food,” Tom said with a well-fed graduation.
- “I’m going to miss these four years,” Tom said with a nostalgic graduation.
- “I never thought I’d make it this far,” Tom said with an unexpected graduation.
- “I’m ready to conquer the world,” Tom said with a globetrotting graduation.
- “No more midterms, no more finals, just pure freedom,” Tom said with a liberated graduation.
- “I’ll finally have a reason to use my fancy graduation robes,” Tom said with a stylish graduation.
- “I’ll be walking across that stage like it’s a red carpet,” Tom said with a Hollywood-worthy graduation.
- “I’m going to celebrate with a bang,” Tom said with an explosive graduation.
- “I’m excited to trade my student ID for an employee badge,” Tom said with a professional graduation.
- “I’m one step closer to becoming a billionaire inventor,” Tom said with a Swiftian graduation.
- “I’ll miss my professors, but not their assignments,” Tom said with a homework-free graduation.
- “I’m finally free from the stresses of academia,” Tom said with a stress-free graduation.
- “This is a day I’ll never forget,” Tom said with a memorable graduation.
- “I can’t wait to see what the future holds,” Tom said with an optimistic graduation.
Glorious Graduation: A Collection of Clever Spoonerisms to Spice Up Your Commencement!
- ‘Blectionary’ instead of ‘Graduation ceremony’
- ‘Laduation grass’ instead of ‘graduation class’
- ‘Mortarboat’ instead of ‘graduation robe’
- ‘Graduate dough’ instead of ‘graduation day’
- ‘Sock and roll’ instead of ‘rock and roll’
- ‘Clap and lead’ instead of ‘lap and bleed’
- ‘Valedictorian smear’ instead of ‘daledictorian speech’
- ‘Tassel flash’ instead of ‘hassel clash’
- ‘Fool of knowledge’ instead of ‘pool of knowledge’
- ‘Proud yarents’ instead of ‘yroud parents’
- ‘Belf men’ instead of ‘melt ben’
- ‘Degree school’ instead of ‘grue deal’
- ‘Cappy head’ instead of ‘happy dead’
- ‘Lap and shoulders to cry on’ instead of ‘cap and shoulders to die on’
- ‘Loan and gown’ instead of ‘bone and town’
- ‘Tuition frees’ instead of ‘fuition trees’
- ‘Class of beers’ instead of ‘glass of cheers’
- ‘Raddlyshake’ instead of ‘shaky rattle’
- ‘Cap tossery’ instead of ‘toss caper’
- ‘Ghin and stew’ instead of ‘skin and glue’
Unleash Some Grad-ly Giggles with These Knock-knock Jokes about Graduation!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Graduation. Graduation who? Graduation party, let’s celebrate away!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Diploma. Diploma who? Diploma so proud of you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cap. Cap who? Cap off to you, graduate!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tassel. Tassel who? Tassel be worth the hassle, you made it to graduation!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gown. Gown who? Gown and owned it, time to graduate!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Success. Success who? Success is knocking, open the door to graduation!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pomp. Pomp who? Pomp and circumstance, it’s graduation time!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honor. Honor who? Honor to know you, congratulations on graduation!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Class. Class who? Class dismissed, time for graduation!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Finals. Finals who? Finals are over, graduation is here!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Degree. Degree who? Degree to be different, congrats on graduating!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dream. Dream who? Dream big, graduate!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honor roll. Honor roll who? Honor roll-ing into graduation!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Success. Success who? Success is knocking, it’s graduation day!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Valedictorian. Valedictorian who? Valedictorian lot to celebrate at graduation!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Summa cum laude. Summa cum laude who? Summa cum laude, you graduated with highest honors!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Adventure. Adventure who? Adventure awaits, graduate!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Future. Future who? Future looks bright, graduation is just the beginning!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Memories. Memories who? Memories to cherish, congrats on graduation!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Proud parent. Proud parent who? Proud parent of a graduate, congratulations!
Congrats on Graduation: Time to “Cap” It Off!
Well folks, that wraps up our graduation pun and joke extravaganza! We hope these puns and jokes have given you a well-deserved break from all the graduation stress. And remember, when life gives you a diploma, just PUNish it with laughter. Don’t forget to check out our other related pun and joke posts for more giggle-worthy content. Now go forth and conquer the real world, but don’t forget to bring your funny bone along. Congratulations, graduates!
