Welcome bookworms and literary lovers, to a pun-tastic post all about the greatest place for bookworms like us – the library! Get ready to laugh out loud as we bring you the best list of library jokes and puns guaranteed to make your day brighter. Whether you’re a kid or an adult, these clever quips will surely bring a smile to your face and remind you of the positive and humorous side of the library. So grab your books and get ready to be entertained with these funny and hilarious library jokes!
Stacked with Laughter: Our Favorite ‘Library’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks
- Why did the librarian go on a diet? Because he wanted to lose book weight.
- What’s a book’s favorite snack? Shelves and crackers.
- My friend asked me to explain the Dewey Decimal System, but I thought it would be too Decimal-ting.
- Why did the librarian quit her job? She didn’t have the spine for it.
- I’ve been reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- What did the book say to the librarian? Can I leave now, or do I have to wait for the next sequel?
- What do you call a group of books that have bad breath? The New York Stink Tank.
- How does a book make plans for the weekend? It signs up for Bookfest.
- Why couldn’t the librarian find her glasses? She had them booked for too many overdue fines.
- What do librarians and pirates have in common? They both love hunting for treasure.
- What did the bookworm say when it entered the library? I feel right at home-tome.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What did the librarian say when she found a book with missing pages? I can’t put a finger on it, but something’s not right here.
- Did you know that the library offers a class on how to properly shelve books? It’s called Shelf-Improvement 101.
- Why couldn’t the dog check out a book from the library? Because he had a ruff time finding his library card.
- How does a book get onto the NY Times Bestseller List? It works hard and Page-s its dues.
- What did the librarian say when she caught a student trying to sneak in a movie theater? Keep it quiet, or I’ll have to book you.
- Why did the library refuse to stock the book about teleportation? It kept getting misplaced.
- Did you hear about the book that got pulled over by the librarian? It got a fine for going over the word limit.
- Why did the ghost haunt the library? Because he wanted to read in peace and quiet.
Laugh Out Loud with These Funny ‘Library’ One-Liner Jokes
- Did you hear about the librarian who went on strike? She was book-lashed!
- I asked the librarian for a book on turtles. She said it books about slow-moving creatures always take forever to find.
- Why did the book go to the library? Because it wanted to be checked out!
- What did the librarian say when she found out she had a bookworm? Looks like I have a new reading buddy.
- I just finished reading a book on teleportation, but it didn’t seem to go anywhere.
- I tried to return a book to the library, but the librarian told me it was long overdue.
- My friend keeps saying she got hit in the eye by a book, but I think she’s just seeing things.
- How do you know if a book is an introvert? It has a lot of inner chapters.
- What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same novel for months? A slow readers support group.
- Every time I go to the library, I leave with a stack of books and a lighter wallet. It’s like having an expensive book addiction.
- Did you hear about the library that burned down? It was all booksmoke.
- I told my husband I wanted to be a librarian, and he said, “But you already have a lot of novel ideas!”
- Why do librarians make good detectives? They’re experts at finding the missing pieces to a story.
- Why did the librarian refuse to lend a book to the chicken? Because she kept trying to cross the road!
- What has a spine but no bones? A hardcover book.
- Why was the ghost banned from the library? He was always shouting, “Boooooooks!”
- It was hard for the librarian to shelve her emotions, but she managed to keep it together.
- Why did the dictionary go on a diet? It wanted to be in better shape for defining words.
- My favorite part about visiting the library is getting lost in a good book…and then also trying to find my way back to the exit.
- Why did the book enroll in a beauty pageant? It wanted to win the title of “Miss-terpiece.”
Bookworms: Get Ready to Laugh with These QnA Jokes & Puns about the Library!
- What did the librarian say when asked if they had a book about time travel? “Sorry, but it’s checked out.”
- Why did the book climb onto the shelf by itself? Because it was shelf-aware.
- What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for months? A real page-turner.
- How does a book get to Hogwarts? By chaptering a ride on the Hogwarts Express.
- What did one book say to the other book about its binding? “You’ve got spine, kid.”
- Why did the librarian quit their job? They couldn’t handle the bookkeeping.
- What did the librarian say when a group of books fell off the shelf? “Looks like they had a falling-out.”
- Why was the book late for its due date? It was bound to happen.
- Why did the librarian refuse to buy any bookmarks? They already had enough page-turners.
- What did the librarian say when asked if they had the latest Stephen King novel? “Sorry, we’re all booked up.”
- What do you call a group of librarians who love to tell jokes? The pun-itentiary.
- How did the book win the election? It had the most chapter support.
- Why did the library hire a ghost? They needed someone to keep an eye on the phantom tables.
- What did the librarian say when they found a book with no title or author? “Seems like it’s a forgettable story.”
- Why did the book go to therapy? It was having an identity crisis.
- What did the librarian say when asked if they had any books on procrastination? “I’ll check for them later.”
- Why was the letter X kicked out of the library? It kept marking the spot where books were supposed to be.
- What do you call a library with only one book? A bookmark.
- Why did the librarian call the fire department? Because someone lit a book on fire… and it was hot.
- What did the book say to the bookmark? “Don’t fold on me now!”
Shh! These Dad Jokes about the Library Are Bookishly Hilarious!
- Why was the librarian always cold? Because she was surrounded by so many shelves.
- Did you hear about the book that went on a diet? It ended up being a little lighter.
- I tried to make a joke about the library, but it was overdue.
- Why did the librarian throw a book at the clock? To kill some time.
- What did the book say to the shelf? “I’ve got you covered.”
- Did you hear about the new library branch that opened up in a haunted house? They have a great collection of ghost stories.
- What do you call a fake noodle in the library? An impasta.
- Why don’t skeletons borrow books from the library? Because they’re always overdue.
- How does a book introduce itself? “Hi, I’m a leaf-turner.”
- What did the library book say to the librarian? “I’m shelf-conscious.”
- If you can’t find a book in the library, just ask the librarian. They’ll help you check it out.
- Why did the librarian quit her job? She just couldn’t handle all the overdue fines.
- What’s the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop him a line at the library.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- I tried to make a joke about the Dewey Decimal System, but it was classified information.
- What did the sandwich say to the book in the library? “Can you let me finish my chapters?”
- I went to the library and asked if they had any books on turtles. The librarian said, “Hardbacks or paperbacks?”
- What kind of shoes do librarians wear? Sneakers.
- Why did the ghost go to the library? To find some quiet haunting grounds.
- Why was the librarian always hungry? Because she devoured so many books.
Book Up Some Laughs: Hilarious Library Puns & Jokes for Kids
- Why did the book go to therapy? Because it had a lot of issues.
- How many books can you fit in a library card? Just one, but it’s a really big book.
- Why did the librarian fall asleep in the reference section? She needed a good footnote!
- What did the book lover say when she couldn’t find her favorite novel on the shelf? “This is un-book-lievable!”
- What did the librarian say when he lost his glasses in the stacks? “I can’t find them, I’m really book-blind!”
- How do you pay for overdue library books? With late fees, of course!
- Why do librarians never want to get married? Because they’re always checking out books!
- Did you hear about the book that went on a diet? It lost a few chapters!
- What did one book say to the other? “I just couldn’t put you down!”
- What did the book say to the librarian? “Please don’t close me… I have a spine!”
- Why did the librarian stop working at the beach? She was tired of all the sea shells.
- What’s a librarian’s favorite type of music? Anything with good lyrics.
- Why was the library always so cold? It was full of paperbacks.
- Why was the book always tired? Because it was well-read.
- What type of book never opens? An e-book.
- What is the most spiritual section of the library? The religion section.
- What did the librarian say to the noisy children? “Shhh! This is not a playground, it’s a word park!”
- What happened when the book got a job? It had a novel career.
- How many librarians does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they prefer to work in the dark.
- Why was the librarian always so happy? Because she was surrounded by all her favorite stories.
Quietly Hilarious: Funny Quotes about People Who Don’t Use the ‘Shhh’ in Library
- “A library is the ultimate time machine, transporting you to different worlds with the turn of a page.”
- “Libraries are like a candy store for the mind, except you don’t have to worry about cavities.”
- “A library card is the best investment you can make for your imagination.”
- “I don’t always go to the library, but when I do, I always forget to bring a bag and end up struggling with a tower of books.”
- “Books are like tattoos for your brain, and libraries are the best tattoo parlors in town.”
- “Libraries are proof that even in the digital age, people still appreciate free stuff.”
- “If you can’t find what you’re looking for in a library, you’re probably not looking hard enough.”
- “Libraries are like a buffet for knowledge, except you don’t have to worry about calories.”
- “The Dewey Decimal System: because organizing books by rainbow color just wasn’t practical.”
- “Libraries: because sometimes you just need to escape reality for a while.”
- “There’s something magical about the smell of old books in a library. It’s like they have their own special perfume.”
- “Librarians are basically human search engines, but with a lot more patience and less snarky replies.”
- “Nothing says ‘I’m a responsible member of society’ like returning your library books on time.”
- “I have a love-hate relationship with libraries – I love getting lost in them, but I hate having to leave when they close.”
- “Libraries are like a puzzle, and finding the perfect book is the missing piece that makes everything fit together.”
- “I may not have a library card, but I do have a vast collection of overdue fines.”
- “The only thing better than a library is a library with a coffee shop inside.”
- “Libraries are like treasure chests, except the real treasure is the knowledge and stories inside.”
- “I don’t always judge a book by its cover, but when I do, it’s because it has a really cool cover.”
- “Libraries are quiet, serene places… unless you’re a kid trying to stifle a sneeze during storytime.”
Wisdom is found in books, but laughter is found in the library – funny proverbs & wise sayings about libraries!
- “The love of books is like a library card – you can never have too many!”
- A library without books is like a fish without water – completely useless!
- “A bookworm’s library is their greatest treasure – and their biggest excuse for never leaving the house.”
- “A library is the only place where you can time travel without leaving your seat.”
- “A librarian’s superpower is the ability to turn silence into knowledge.”
- “In a library, you’re never alone – the fictional characters are always there to keep you company.”
- “A library is where you can find the answers to life’s most pressing questions – or at least a helpful Dewey decimal number.”
- “A book a day keeps the ignorance away – or at least adds some quirkiness to your life.”
- “A library is like a candy store for the mind – and no calories!”
- “The smell of old books in a library is like perfume for the soul.”
- “A library is the perfect hideout for introverts – just bring a good book and some snacks.”
- “A library card is the ultimate weapon against boredom.”
- “A librarian’s job is to organize chaos – and sometimes create some of their own.”
- “A library is the ultimate trust fall – you never know what kind of adventure awaits you in the pages of a book.”
- “A library is a marathon for the mind – don’t forget to stretch your imagination.”
- A librarian is like a bee – they work tirelessly to gather knowledge and spread it to others.
- “A library is a place where you can escape reality, but still learn valuable life lessons.”
- “A book can take you to far-off lands, but a library is where you can visit them all at once.”
- “A library is like a spa for the brain – a place to relax, rejuvenate, and expand your mind.”
- “Good friends and good books make for a well-stocked library – and a well-rounded life.”
Checking Out Some “Book”y Jokes: Library Double Entendres Puns
- “I love spending hours in the library – it’s a real page-turner!”
- “I always get lost in the stacks, but I never judge a book by its cover.”
- “Sorry, I can’t go out tonight, I have a date with my librarian.”
- “I have a library card, because books are my preferred method of checking people out.”
- “Did you hear what happened to the librarian? She got checked out and never returned.”
- “I love hanging out with my friends in the library – it’s like a chapter of our friendship.”
- “I had to return my book late, but the librarian forgave me – she said it was just a little overdue.”
- I always take the stairs in the library – I like to climb the novel-ties.
- “I went to the library to find a joke book, but all the pages were tearable.”
- “I tried to check out the dictionary, but the librarian wouldn’t let me – she said it was for reference only.”
- “I asked the librarian where the Harry Potter books were, but she said they were all checked out by wizards.”
- “I love visiting the library, it’s a real shelf-esteem booster.”
- “I went to the library to find a book on comedy, but I couldn’t find any – it was a real tragedy.”
- “Books are like shoes – you can never have too many, especially when they have such great covers.”
- “I’m not a hoarder, I just have a lot of books – it’s called being a well-read person.”
- “I never judge people by their looks, only by the books they read.”
- “I asked the librarian if they had any books on procrastination, but she said they were too busy to shelve them.”
- “Libraries are like magic – they can take you to far-off places without ever leaving your chair.”
- “I tried to make a joke about the Dewey Decimal System, but nobody got it – it was too decimal.”
- “I asked the librarian if they had any books on teleportation, but she said I had to check them out in person.”
Lost in the Stacks: Recursive Puns About the Library
- Why did the book keep going back to the library? Because it couldn’t put it down!
- I went to the library and asked for a book on reverse psychology. The librarian said they wouldn’t give me one, so I said I’ll take two.
- The librarian was tired of all the book puns, she said they were shelf-explanatory.
- Did you hear about the book that got kicked out of the library? It was due back.
- What is a book’s favorite dance move? The Reading Rainbow!
- Why did the book go to therapy? It had too many issues.
- I tried to return a book, but the librarian said it was overdue. I asked if it could just be normal, but she said no, it was a “novel” situation.
- What do you call a funny book? A comedy-novel.
- Can books be addicted to each other? Yes, they’re bound together.
- The book refused to let go of the library, it was too attached.
- Why was the library so quiet? Because it had its volume turned down.
- My friend said he hated reading, so I asked him why he went to the library. He said he was just checking it out.
- What did the librarian say when she caught two books whispering to each other? “I’ll have to book you for disturbing the peace.”
- The sign in the library said “do not re-shelve books yourself.” I guess it’s shelf preservation.
- How do books stay in shape? They do spine exercises.
- What do you call a group of books hanging out together? A novel-twee-party.
- Why did the cook quit working at the library? He kept getting stuck in thesauruses.
- Why did the book break up with the dictionary? It wasn’t satisfied with the definition of their relationship.
- The librarian caught me trying to sneak out of the library with a book. I guess I’m just a bookworm.
- What did the book say to its reader? Thanks for turning me on.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey have any more library jokes?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey have to be quiet in the library?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Book. Book who? Book a study room at the library and stop bothering me!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Librarian. Librarian who? Librarian, open this door and let me check out some books!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shelf. Shelf who? Shelf your noise and let me read in peace!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hush. Hush who? Hush, you’re in the library, not a concert!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Whisper. Whisper who? Whisper your answer, we’re in the library!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Page. Page who? Page-turner, that’s what you’ll find at the library!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Borrow. Borrow who? Borrow a book and return it on time, that’s how the library works!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Study. Study who? Study hard and don’t end up like those overdue books in the library!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Late fees. Late fees who? Late fees? Not me, I always return my library books on time!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey decimal system. Dewey decimal system who? Dewey decimal system ways to organize books in the library!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Computer. Computer who? Computer access at the library is free, so stop using mine!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Magazine. Magazine who? Magazine myself some peace and quiet in the library!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen me in for a study session at the library!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fiction. Fiction who? Fiction can be found in the library, reality not so much!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Reference. Reference who? Reference material is your best friend in the library!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Comfy chair. Comfy chair who? Comfy chair to read in at the library, what more could you want?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Librarian’s revenge. Librarian’s revenge who? Librarian’s revenge is banning you from the library for talking too loud!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bookmark. Bookmark who? Bookmark your page or else you’ll have to start all over again!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Silent study. Silent study who? Silent study at the library is harder than it sounds when people won’t stop knocking!
Shhh-elfie the laughter with these library puns!
Well, what a book-tastic collection of puns and jokes about the library we’ve reached! Looks like we’ve checked out every shelf and found the funniest ones you won’t want to return. But before you leave, don’t forget to check out our other related puns and jokes posts. Trust us, they’ll have you laughing ’til your stomach is overdue for a break. And remember, always return your books on time, or else you may have to pay for the late fines(ny)! Happy reading!