Welcome to the ultimate list of mustache puns and jokes that will have you laughing ‘till your mustache falls off! Our collection of clever and positive humor is perfect for kids of all ages (and adults with a sense of humor too!). Whether you have a lush ‘stache or are just a fan of facial hair, these funny puns about mustaches are guaranteed to be your best companion. So without further ado, let’s dive into the world of hilariously hairy puns about mustaches!

Tickle Your Funny Bone with These Mustache-tic Puns & Jokes – Our Top Picks!

  1. “Why did the mustache go on a diet? Because it wanted to be well-trimmed.”
  2. “I asked my wife if she liked my new mustache. She said it’s growing on her.”
  3. “I used to have a job at a mustache factory, but I got shafted.”
  4. “What did the barber say to the customer with a lopsided mustache? “Looks like you’ve been having some ‘stache problems.”
  5. “Why did the mustache go to the beauty salon? It wanted a waxing experience.”
  6. What do you call a mustache on a watermelon? A waterMOOstache.”
  7. “Why did the mustache cross the road? To get to the upper lip.”
  8. “I tried growing a handlebar mustache, but it was just too much to handle.”
  9. “What do you call a fake mustache? A sham-STACHE.”
  10. “Why did the police officer have a mustache? To make arrests with upper-class.”
  11. “I don’t always grow a mustache, but when I do, it’s for charity.”
  12. “What did the mustache say to the razor? “You’re gonna have to make some tough cuts today.””
  13. “I heard about a restaurant that serves mustache-shaped pasta. It’s called “spaghetti and stache.”
  14. “What does a mustache use to hold up its pants? MustACHE belt.”
  15. “Why did the chocolate chip cookie have a mustache? To make it chipper.”
  16. “I’ve been trying to grow a French mustache, but all I have is a Bon Jovi-style goatee.”
  17. “What did the Mexican mustache say to his wife? “Te amo-stache.””
  18. “Why did the mustache break up with his girlfriend? She was too hair-minded.”
  19. “What does a mustache wear to a fancy event? A tuxed-‘stache.”
  20. “Why couldn’t the mustache stop talking about itself? It was on a mission to self-promote.”
funny Mustache jokes and one liner clever Mustache puns at PunnyPeak.com

Get a good laugh with these ‘Funny Mustache’ one-liners and puns!

  1. Why did the mustache go to the barber? It wanted a beard trim-ustache.
  2. What do you call a mustachioed superhero? The Man of ‘Stache’!
  3. Did you hear about the mustache who got in trouble with the law? He was accused of mustache-tering goods.
  4. Why did the mustache refuse to shave? It didn’t want to lower its high ‘stache-dards.
  5. How do you grow a mustache in a hurry? Wish’ it upon a star!
  6. What’s a mustache’s favorite holiday? Mustache Day, of course!
  7. Why did the mustache cross the road? To get to the ‘other ‘stache’-ion’!
  8. Why was the mustache always late? He couldn’t find the ‘right ‘stache’ion’.
  9. Why did the mustache go to the gym? To get a stronger Hairy ‘Pecs’vell.
  10. What do you call a mustache that’s been caught stealing? Looting Mr. ‘Stealy’ Stache!
  11. Why did the mustache fail its test? It couldn’t get its facts ‘mustache’d.
  12. What did the mustache say when it found its soulmate? ‘I’m smitten by your upper lip’!
  13. Why did the mustache go to the art exhibit? To see some ‘whisker-art’!
  14. How does a mustache travel the world? On a ‘whisk-er’s Adventure!
  15. Why did the mustache start a diet? It wanted to become a lean ‘stache’ine!
  16. What do you call a mustache at a party? A partystache, of course!
  17. Why did the mustache order a pizza? It was ‘stuche-ing’ for some cheesy goodness.
  18. How did the mustache win the race? With its ‘hair-razor’ focus!
  19. What’s the mustache’s favorite accessory? A ‘whisker-watch’!
  20. Why did the mustache go to the dentist? To get a brush-up on its ‘tooth– ‘stache’iology!

Tickle your Funny Bone with these Mustache Musings!

  1. A wise man’s mustache is as sharp as his wit.
  2. A mustache may hide a roguish smile, but it can’t hide a mischievous spirit.
  3. He who has no mustache is like a ship without a rudder, lost in the sea of life.
  4. A man with a mustache is like a pumpkin spice latte – irresistible.
  5. A man without a mustache is like a cupcake without frosting – something’s missing.
  6. Growing a mustache takes patience, but growing a good one takes skill.
  7. A mustache is the ultimate accessory for any man, adding style, charm, and a touch of ruggedness.
  8. A mustache is like a key – it unlocks a man’s true personality.
  9. A man with a well-groomed mustache is always the life of the party.
  10. The bigger the mustache, the bigger the personality.
  11. A mustache is like a work of art – it takes time, dedication, and a steady hand to create perfection.
  12. Behind every great man is a great mustache.
  13. A mustache is a gentleman’s way of saying “I have serious business to attend to, but I still have a sense of humor.”
  14. A man with a mustache is like a superhero – able to conquer any challenge with confidence and style.
  15. When life gets hairy, just remember that some of the most successful men in history had mustaches.
  16. A man without a mustache is like a bee without its stinger – lacking a vital tool.
  17. A mustache is an instant confidence booster – just add facial hair.
  18. A wise man once said, “If you can’t grow a good mustache, at least grow a sense of humor.”
  19. With great mustache comes great responsibility – to maintain it and keep it looking dapper at all times.
  20. Like a fine wine, a mustache only gets better with age.

Tickle Your Funny Bone: QnA Jokes & Puns about Mustache Maintenance

  1. Q: What do you call a mustached cow? A: A Moostache!
  2. Q: Why did the mustache go on a diet? A: It wanted to slim down to a goatee!
  3. Q: What do you call a mustached pirate? A: Captain Stachebeard!
  4. Q: What did the mustache say to the razor? A: Don’t cut me off, bro!
  5. Q: Why did the mustache go to school? A: To learn how to make a good impression!
  6. Q: What do you call a mustache that loves to dance? A: A must-ache!
  7. Q: Why did the mustache wear a top hat? A: To look classier!
  8. Q: What is a mustache’s favorite fruit? A: A ‘stache-berry!
  9. Q: What type of mustache does a ninja have? A: A sly-stache!
  10. Q: Why did the mustache go to the doctor? A: It had a split end!
  11. Q: What do you call a mustache on a banana? A: A banana-stache!
  12. Q: What did the mustache say to the beard? A: I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later!
  13. Q: Why did the mustache join the circus? A: It wanted to be in the ‘big top’!
  14. Q: What do you call a mustache with a PhD? A: A doctor-stache!
  15. Q: Why did the mustache visit the library? A: To brush up on facial hair literature!
  16. Q: What is a mustache’s favorite drink? A: A ‘stache-ito!
  17. Q: Why did the mustache get into a fight? A: It was looking for a ‘lip’ lock!
  18. Q: What did the mustache say to the beard when they met? A: Well, this is a hairy situation!
  19. Q: Why did the mustache take up yoga? A: To achieve perfect zen-ustache!
  20. Q: What type of mustache does a detective have? A: An in-stache-gator!

Laughing Our ‘Staches Off: Hilarious Dad Jokes & Puns about Mustaches

  1. Did you know that I used to have a mustache that could communicate with my other facial hair? But then it got too hairy and they all stopped talking.
  2. A mustache walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve mustaches here.” The mustache replies, “Well, that’s a real hairy situation!”
  3. My mustache told me that it’s been feeling overwhelmed lately. I said, “Well, just take a little off the top then!”
  4. Did you hear about the mustache who wanted to be an actor? He couldn’t land any roles though, his agent said he just didn’t have the right “stache” for it.
  5. My mustache thinks it’s a ninja. It’s always sneaking up on me and making me laugh.
  6. I tried to shave off my mustache once, but realized it was the only thing holding my upper lip up.
  7. My mustache and I have a love-hate relationship. I love it, but my wife hates it.
  8. Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it was under alreadyarm! (underneath your arm)
  9. People say my mustache makes me look like a 70’s detective. I reply, “No, it makes me look like a 70’s handsome man.”
  10. My mustache told me it doesn’t want to be trimmed, it wants to grow old gracefully.
  11. A man walks into a barber shop with a mustache on his forehead. The barber asks, “What can I do for you?” The mustache replies, “I need a little off the top.”
  12. What does a mustache comb use as a password? A secret stachecode.
  13. My mustache is so iconic, it’s been mistaken for a celebrity’s on multiple occasions.
  14. I told my mustache it should make a fashion statement. It responded, “I mustache you to leave me alone.”
  15. Did you know that bears have mustaches too? They’re just called ‘muzzle fuzz.’
  16. My mustache always tells me the truth, even when it’s hard to swallow.
  17. I tried to teach my mustache how to dance, but it just couldn’t handle the twists and twirls.
  18. Remember when mustaches were only associated with hipsters and truck drivers? Now they’re the epitome of cool.
  19. Why did the man with the mustache go to the zoo? He wanted to see some toucan stew!
  20. My friend told me I couldn’t grow a mustache. I told him I mustache you a question…why not?

Tickle Your Funny Bone with These Mustache-Inspired Double Entendres and Puns

  1. “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.”
  2. “I’m not just any man, I’ve got a mustache-terial degree.”
  3. “I don’t always have a mustache, but when I do, people take me more seriously.”
  4. “My mustache brings all the girls to the yard, and damn right it’s better than yours.”
  5. “I’m a man of many talents, including growing a killer mustache.”
  6. “Mustache, not just a facial hair style, it’s a way of life.”
  7. “I don’t always have a mustache, but when I do, I prefer to twirl it.”
  8. “I may not be a lumberjack, but my mustache is definitely plaid-worthy.”
  9. “I mustache you to pass me the razor, this thing is getting out of control.”
  10. “A gentleman without a mustache is like a cupcake without frosting.”
  11. “My mustache has its own personality, that’s why I call it ‘Stashy’.”
  12. “When in doubt, grow a mustache and let it do the talking.”
  13. “My mustache is like a mood ring, it changes with my emotions.”
  14. “Mustaches are like eyebrows for your upper lip, except way cooler.”
  15. “I only trust people with mustaches, they have a certain level of sophistication.”
  16. “I may have been born with a mustache, but I’ve perfected its style over the years.”
  17. “No-shave November? Pfft, I haven’t shaved my mustache since the 80s.”
  18. “I once shaved off my mustache, and it was the wrong decision. Never again.”
  19. “My mustache is my lucky charm, that’s why I always keep it by my side.”
  20. “There’s no such thing as too much mustache, it’s all about balance and elegance.”

Getting ‘stache’d in the loop of recursive puns about mustaches!

  1. What do you call a mustache on a mustache? A meta-stache.
  2. I have a mustache, and it’s growing on me.
  3. Why was the mustache feeling down? Because it was stuck in a hairy situation.
  4. My mustache is like a hedge maze – it’s easy to get lost and hard to trim.
  5. Did you hear the one about the mustache who went on strike? He needed to stage a ‘stache-off.’
  6. I tried to eat a cheeseburger, but my mustache kept getting in the whey.
  7. I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
  8. My mustache loves Dairy Queen, it’s always craving a Blizzard.
  9. Why did the mustache go to jail? It was guilty of facial hair-assment.
  10. How does a mustache stay organized? With a facial hair binder.
  11. It’s hard to take a clean-shaven man seriously, they’re just not as mustache-tic as the rest of us.
  12. My mustache may be small, but it’s got a lot of lip fur-niture.
  13. Why did the man’s mustache break up with him? It couldn’t handle the razor-sharp wit.
  14. A mustache walked into a bar, and the bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” The mustache replied, “Why not? I mustache you again.”
  15. My mustache and I have a love-hate relationship. I hate shaving it, and it loves to stick around.
  16. Mustaches make the best detectives – they always have a good handle on the case.
  17. A group of mustaches walked into a salon and asked for a new look. The stylist replied, “Sorry, we shave a strict dress code.”
  18. It takes a lot of guts to grow a mustache. Most people just grow hair.
  19. Why do horses make great mustaches? Because they have great mane-sense.
  20. My mustache isn’t just for show – it also tells dad jokes. It’s quite hair-larious.

Tickle Your Funny Bone with These ”Mustache’ Malapropisms

  1. “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.”
  2. “I have a lot of upper lip hair-i-ums.”
  3. “That guy looks like he has a full-on face shrubbery.”
  4. “His facial fur gives him such a debonhair look.”
  5. “I can’t wait to twirl my mouth toupee while sipping tea.”
  6. “His mustache is the soup strainer of champions.”
  7. “I admire his ability to grow such a majestic mouth brow.”
  8. “She has a knack for picking out the perfect lip caterpillar.”
  9. “A gentleman without a mustache is like a day without sunshine.”
  10. “His nose neighbor deserves its own zip code.”
  11. “I’m not sure if that’s facial hair or a fuzzy caterpillar on his face.”
  12. “I bet he uses mustache wax made from unicorn tears.”
  13. “He’s got a real Magnum PI going on there.”
  14. “I can’t decide if I’m jealous of his handlebar mustache or intimidated by it.”
  15. “His facial foliage is giving me serious Tom Selleck vibes.”
  16. “I wouldn’t trust that guy, his lying lip rug gives it away.”
  17. “That mustache is so luxurious, it could be in a shampoo commercial.”
  18. “I can’t tell if he’s winking or if his mustache is just covering one eye.”
  19. “If only I could grow a real mustache and not just a pathetic caterpillar on my face.”
  20. “I mustache you to never make that joke again.”

Tickled Pink with ‘Mustache’ Tom Swifties

  1. “I can’t seem to shave this mustache,” Tom said offhandedly.
  2. “I’ll never go clean-shaven again,” Tom muttered stiffly.
  3. “My mustache seems to be growing thicker,” Tom said mustily.
  4. “I need a new razor for this mustache,” Tom said cuttingly.
  5. “My mustache is the biggest I’ve ever seen,” Tom blurted out mustachely.
  6. “I think I’ll grow out my mustache,” Tom said smartly.
  7. “I can’t stop twirling my mustache,” Tom said twirlingly.
  8. “I’ll impress all the ladies with my mustache,” Tom said handsomely.
  9. “I’ll never be mustache-less again,” Tom declared hair-raisingly.
  10. “My mustache is the talk of the town,” Tom bragged mustache-ly.
  11. “I can’t believe how fast my mustache grows,” Tom said bristling.
  12. “I need a special comb just for my mustache,” Tom said comb-ically.
  13. “I’ll never have a bad hair day with this mustache,” Tom said comb-over-ly.
  14. “I’ll always have a place to store my lip balm,” Tom said with a straight mustache.
  15. “I’ll never have to worry about getting food stuck in my teeth again,” Tom said lip-lickingly.
  16. “I bet I can smuggle snacks into the movie theater with this mustache,” Tom whispered conspiratorially.
  17. “I feel like a true gentleman with this mustache,” Tom exclaimed chivalrously.
  18. “My mustache brings all the boys to the yard,” Tom sang melodiously.
  19. “I’ll make sure no one steals my identity with this mustache,” Tom joked mischievously.
  20. “I can’t wait to see the look on people’s faces when I shave off my mustache,” Tom chuckled devilishly.

Mustache Mismatch: Hilarious Spoonerisms About Facial Hair

  1. “Mash-tache” instead of “mustache”
  2. “Duster Mo” instead of “musty odor”
  3. “Facial Whiskers” instead of “whacial fiskers”
  4. “Lip Garden” instead of “gip larden”
  5. “Hedgehog Mouth” instead of “medgehog houth”
  6. “Beard Snatcher” instead of “surd beatcher”
  7. “Whisking Mustard” instead of “misking whustard”
  8. “Stashe Look” instead of “lashe stook”
  9. “Tickle Tash” instead of “tickle tick”
  10. “Hair Lipper” instead of “lair hipper”
  11. “Mustache Ride” instead of “rustache mide”
  12. “Facial Fur” instead of “fial cur”
  13. “Upper Lip” instead of “lupper up”
  14. “Lip Sweater” instead of “sip letter”
  15. “Snazzy Whiskers” instead of “wazzy snickers”
  16. “Mouth Hair” instead of “houth mair”
  17. “Dapper ‘Tache” instead of “tapper dache”
  18. “Fancy Fuzz” instead of “fancy fuzz”
  19. “Curly Lip” instead of “lurly cip”
  20. “Shave Shadow” instead of “shave shadlow”

Mustache who? Mustache me a question, I’ll give you a funny answer!

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache up and let me in, it’s getting chilly out here!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Moo. Moo who? Moustache, that’s who!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and grow a mustache already!
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? Cash me outside, howbow dah-stache?!
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana grow a mustache just like yours!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, my mustache is getting too long!
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wooden. Wooden who? Wooden you like to see my epic mustache collection?
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, I’ll shave off my mustache.
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lion. Lion who? Lion around without a mustache? Unheard of!
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda get a mustache like mine?
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Great. Great who? Great big mustaches are the coolest!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for me to trim my mustache.
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Becky. Becky who? Becky round the bush, mustache in tow.
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivor. Ivor who? Ivor gotten a compliment on my mustache yet?
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owl. Owl who? Owl love to see your mustache in person!
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Candice shave my mustache for me?
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tootsie. Tootsie who? Tootsie, it’s not polite to stare at my mustache.
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hulk. Hulk who? Hulk-a-man-ia had nothing on my mustache!
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys to finally have a mustache!
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Minnie. Minnie who? Minnie more hairs and I’ll have a full mustache!

Farewell to Facial Hair: The Must-See Mustache Puns!

So, after reading through these 200+ jokes about mustaches, we hope you’re now the ultimate mustache connoisseur. Don’t forget to check out our other related puns and joke posts for even more laughs. And remember, when it comes to mustaches, the possibilities (and puns) are endless. Keep on smiling and stache on!

Ahmad Raza

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

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