Welcome to the best bagelicious banter, where we bring you a list of over 150 hilarious bagel puns that will make you loaf with laughter. If you have a knack for clever humor and enjoy a good play on words, then this collection of funny jokes is sure to satisfy your punny cravings. Get ready for some positive vibes and a whole lotta dough-nutty humor as we delve into the world of bagel puns!

Bagel Bonanza: Editorial Picks – Top Puns

  1. Bagels are like friends – they come in all shapes and sizes, but they always make your day better.
  2. Why did the bagel go to school? Because it wanted to be a little “breader!”
  3. You can’t make everyone happy, you’re not a bagel.
  4. Bagels are always going with the flow – they’re so well-rounded!
  5. Bagels are the ultimate multitaskers – they can be breakfast, lunch, or just a snack.
  6. What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel-eagle!
  7. Why did the sesame seed bagel get arrested? It was caught loitering around the cream cheese!
  8. Bagels are a lot like Mondays – they may not always be everyone’s favorite, but they sure do kickstart the week!
  9. I don’t trust people who don’t like bagels – they’re just “doughnut” my type of person.
  10. Did you hear about the bagel who won the dance competition? It had some serious “bagel moves!”
  11. If a bagel runs for office, it would definitely have my vote – it’s got that “everything” quality!
  12. I told my friend I ate a dozen bagels and he couldn’t believe me. “You’re just spreading lies!” he said.
  13. Bagels are like shoes – you can never have too many, and they always come in handy!
Bagelicious Banter: 150+ Hilarious Bagel Puns to Make You Loaf

Bagelicious Compound Puns: Making Dough and Bageling Out Laughs

  1. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest. Now I’m just a bageler.
  2. I’m often a bit of a klutz, but when it comes to bagels, I’m a hole pro.
  3. I accidentally ate an entire bag of bagels. It was a carb-mare.
  4. I tried to make my own bagels, but I doughn’t think they rose to the occasion.
  5. I told my wife she should start a business selling bagels, but she said it was just a half-baked idea.
  6. My friend tried to invent a bagel that never went stale, but he couldn’t find a way to dough it.
  7. I asked the bagel shop if they offered delivery, but they said it was too much of a lox.
  8. I accidentally dropped my bagel on the ground, but I guess you could say it was just a little “unlucky bread.”
  9. My dad says he’s a bagel connoisseur, but I think he just likes to lord his roll over everyone else.
  10. The bagel shop had a special on jalapeno bagels, but they were just too spicy for me to handle – they were a real “heatbagel” issue.
  11. My wife complains that I always bring home too many bagels, but I just tell her it’s all part of my bagelicious plan.
  12. At the bagel shop, I asked for a sesame seed bagel, but they were all out. Looks like I had a “sesa-me” problem.
  13. Whenever I try to go on a low-carb diet, I always end up backsliding into a bagel binge. It’s like I can’t help myself – I’m a real “bagelaholic.”
  14. My doctor told me to stop eating so many bagels, but I just don’t have the willpower – I’m a total “dough-nut.”

Bagelicious One-liners: Punning Around with Bagels

  1. I donut know what I would do without bagels in my life.
  2. You’ve got me all twisted up like a fresh bagel.
  3. Bagels are a hole lot of deliciousness.
  4. I’m not loafing around when it comes to my love for bagels.
  5. Let’s not get too cheesy, but I’m really fond of bagels.
  6. If you can’t find the perfect bagel, don’t worry, it’s just a fluke.
  7. My doctor told me I needed more Vitamin Bagel in my diet.
  8. Bagels are the yeast of my worries.
  9. I’ll take my bagel with a schmear of laughter.
  10. Don’t be a sourdough, enjoy a bagel and smile.
  11. Bagels are a-maize-ing, don’t you think?
  12. Why did the bagel go to school? Because it wanted to be a little bit brighter!
  13. You’re the cream cheese to my bagel, always making life more delightful.

Bageliciously Hilarious Tom Swifties Jokes

  1. “I’ll have a sesame bagel,” Tom said with a roll of the eyes.
  2. “This everything bagel is so tasty,” Tom said wholeheartedly.
  3. “I can’t believe I lost my bagel in the toaster,” Tom said crumbly.
  4. “I can’t stop eating this plain bagel,” Tom said without flair.
  5. “I only like my bagel with cream cheese,” Tom said flakily.
  6. “I dropped my bagel in the cream cheese,” Tom said spread thin.
  7. “I love a good cinnamon raisin bagel,” Tom said spicily.
  8. “Pass me the lox for my bagel,” Tom said fishily.
  9. “I prefer my bagel toasted to perfection,” Tom said warmly.
  10. “This blueberry bagel is the best thing since sliced bread,” Tom said with a berry much love.
  11. “I always eat my bagel with a schmear,” Tom said smoothly.
  12. “I can’t resist an onion bagel,” Tom said tearfully.
  13. “I think I over-toasted my bagel,” Tom said charismatically.
  14. “I’m feeling jalapeno business with my bagel,” Tom said heatedly.
  15. “A poppy seed bagel always leaves me feeling seedy,” Tom said with a sprinkle of humor.

Bageliciously Funny Kids Puns

  1. Why donut you love bagels? Because they’re the yeast you can do!
  2. What did the bagel say to the loaf of bread? You’re a real “knead”!
  3. Bagels are like friends – you can never have too many!
  4. What’s a bagel’s favorite board game? “Twister” – they love to get all twisted up!
  5. I asked the bagel if it wanted to go for a walk, but it said it was too “toasty” to move.
  6. Bagels are always so “dough”-lightful to be around!
  7. Why did the bagel go to school? It wanted to get a little “grain” of knowledge!
  8. My friend said she had a flat tire, and I replied, “Was it a bagel tire? You know, because it’s a little ‘holey’!”
  9. Bagels are pretty smart – they’re always so well-“rounded”!
  10. When I’m feeling down, I just tell myself to “get a-rollin'” like a bagel!
  11. I asked the bagel if it was enjoying the party and it said, “Yeah, it’s a real ‘schmear’ delight!”
  12. I told my dad I wanted to be a comedian and he said, “Don’t bagel your hopes too high.”
  13. Why did the bagel bring an umbrella? It heard it was going to be a little “glazed” outside!

Bageling in the Puns: Hilarious Instagram Captions for Your Doughy Delight

  1. Donut worry, be bagel!
  2. Bageling like a boss.
  3. I like big bagels and I cannot lie.
  4. Bagels are the hole-y grail of breakfast.
  5. My love for bagels is never ending.
  6. I donut care, I love bagels!
  7. Life is just a series of munching on bagels.
  8. Bagels: the ultimate carb companions.
  9. I’ve got a lot of bagel-confidence.
  10. Bagels are my kryptonite.
  11. Bagels – because you knead them in your life.
  12. Eating bagels is my jam.
  13. A bagel a day keeps the frown away.
  14. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy bagels and that’s kind of the same thing.

Bageliciously Ridiculous: Funny Bagel Name Ideas

  1. Everything Bagelle
  2. Donut Worry, Be Bagelly
  3. Avo-cuddle Bagel
  4. Carpe Bagel
  5. Bageliciously Cheesy
  6. Bagel Me Maybe
  7. Bagel and Cream Cheese-pectations
  8. You’ve Gotta Be Knead-ing Me
  9. I’m Just Here for the Bagels
  10. Bagel Over Troubled Water
  11. Bae-gel
  12. Bagel to the Future
  13. Holy Moly Cannoli Bagel
  14. Bageliciously Nutty
  15. Bae-goals – As in ‘go get me another bagel!’

Bagelicious Question and Answer Puns

  1. Why did the bagel go to therapy? Because it had a lot of emotional baggage.
  2. What do you call a group of musical bagels? A jam session.
  3. How does a bagel greet people? It says “hole” lot of love.
  4. Why did the bagel break up with the cream cheese? It was spreading itself too thin.
  5. What do you call a bagel that can fly? Plain and simple, a plain bagel.
  6. What’s a bagel’s favorite movie genre? Loxy-genre films.
  7. Why don’t bagels go on vacation? They prefer to stay dough-mestic.
  8. What’s a bagel’s favorite type of transportation? The carbo-load.
  9. Why did the bagel go to school? It wanted to get a little breader.
  10. How do bagels stay in shape? They go to the bread-yoga class.
  11. What do you get when a bagel crosses a croissant? A buttery, flaky identity crisis.
  12. What did the bagel say to the toaster? “You really raise my spirits.”
  13. What’s a bagel’s favorite social media platform? Insta-dough.
  14. How does a bagel apologize? It says “I’m sorry, that was a hole-y mistake.”
  15. Why don’t bagels make good detectives? They always get too wrapped up in the evidence.

Bagelicious Double Entendres: Punning with Doughy Delights

  1. I donut care about anything except bagels.
  2. Bagels are the hole truth and nothing but the truth.
  3. You’re the cream cheese to my bagel.
  4. I’m a bagel in a world full of plain bread.
  5. Let’s not get toasted, just stick to bagels.
  6. Bagels are my everything, but especially with everything seasoning.
  7. I’m on a roll, just like a sesame bagel.
  8. This conversation is getting a little stale, like day-old bagels.
  9. Bagels are the only circle of trust I believe in.
  10. Bagel me this, bagel me that, let’s just eat some bagels!
  11. A bagel a day keeps the hangry away.
  12. Don’t go bacon my heart, just bring me a bagel.
  13. Let’s not sugar coat it – I love bagels.
  14. Everything is better when there’s a bagel involved.

Bagel Puns That Will ‘Lox’ Your Socks Off

  1. Why did the bagel go to school? Because it wanted to be a little bit “smarter”!
  2. What do you call a sad bagel? A weeping will-dough.
  3. How does a bagel tell time? It lox at its watch.
  4. Why don’t bagels like to play hide and seek? Because they always get “found” out.
  5. Did you hear about the bagel that became a race car driver? It was always “rollin'” on the track.
  6. What did the bagel say to the toaster? “You really know how to warm my heart.”
  7. Why was the bagel upset? Because it couldn’t find its “hole” family.
  8. What did the bagel say when it was in a jam? “This is my jam, but I’m still a-ROUND!”
  9. How do you know if a bagel is happy to see you? It’s always “smiling”.
  10. What do you call a bagel that’s a musician? A “dough-minant” performer.
  11. Why don’t bagels ever get in trouble? Because they have a “hole” lot of responsibility.
  12. What did the mama bagel say to her baby bagel? “You’re the ‘cream cheese’ of the crop!”
  13. What did the bagel say about its new job? “I’m really ‘bread-y’ for this opportunity.”
  14. Why did the bagel go to therapy? Because it had a lot of “bag-gage”.
  15. What’s a bagel’s favorite type of workout? Lox-ercise!

Bageliciously Funny Recursive Puns on Bagel

  1. Bagels are so in-dough-pendent, they don’t knead anyone else.
  2. I tried to tell my bagel a secret, but it kept getting toasted and spreading it around.
  3. Why did the bagel go to school? Because it wanted to get a little breader.
  4. If a bagel gets too stressed, it might just go loopy.
  5. I tried to make a bagel sandwich, but it just kept falling to pieces.
  6. Bagels are like politicians – they’re always trying to get a rise out of someone.
  7. I told the bagel to be more decisive, but it couldn’t make up its mind.
  8. My bagel is always chasing me – I think it’s trying to get a-roll on me!
  9. You’re the cream cheese to my bagel – together, we make the perfect spread.
  10. Did you hear about the bagel who couldn’t find a job? He was just going through a crustphase.
  11. I told the bagel it had a hole in its logic, but it didn’t seem phased at all.
  12. I tried to compliment my bagel, but it just told me to quit buttering it up.

Bagel-ieve It or Not: Knock Knock Puns on Bagel

  1. Knock knock Who’s there? Bagel Bagel who? Bagel-ieve it or not, I’m in love with you!
  2. Knock knock Who’s there? Dough Dough who? Dough-n’t forget to bring me a bagel!
  3. Knock knock Who’s there? Cream cheese Cream cheese who? Cream cheese on a bagel, please!
  4. Knock knock Who’s there? Toasted Toasted who? Toasted bagels are the best kind of bagels!
  5. Knock knock Who’s there? Schmear Schmear who? Schmear me with cream cheese and call me a bagel!
  6. Knock knock Who’s there? Everything Everything who? Everything bagel, that’s who!
  7. Knock knock Who’s there? Raisin Raisin who? Raisin bagels are the raisin we have trust issues!
  8. Knock knock Who’s there? Sesame Sesame who? Sesame seed bagel, ready to be devoured!
  9. Knock knock Who’s there? Lox Lox who? Lox and a bagel make the perfect pair!
  10. Knock knock Who’s there? Onion Onion who? Onion bagel, coming right up!
  11. Knock knock Who’s there? Poppy Poppy who? Poppy seed bagels are poppin’ with flavor!
  12. Knock knock Who’s there? Cinnamon Cinnamon who? Cinnamon raisin bagels are just what I knead!
  13. Knock knock Who’s there? Plain Plain who? Plain bagels are anything but plain to me!
  14. Knock knock Who’s there? Wagon Wagon who? Wagon wheel? No, I’ll take a bagel instead!
  15. Knock knock Who’s there? Bakers Bakers who? Bakers dozen of bagels, coming right up!

Bidding Bagel-ieu!

In conclusion, these bagel puns were anything but “hole” some! From the “everything” bagel to the “plain” one, we’ve covered all the deliciously cheesy and dough-lightful jokes. We hope you’ve had a “toasty” good time and that these puns have added a little flavor to your day. Whether you like your bagels with lox or just lox-ing good humor, we’re “knead” you to keep coming back for more hilarious puns! Remember, when life gives you lemons, just say, “Hey, I asked for everything bagels!” Keep on smiling, and don’t forget to spread the schmear of laughter wherever you go!

Ahmad Raza

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

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