Kiwi-ssing Around: 180+ Witty Jokes & Puns about the Kiwi Fruit

Welcome to the ultimate list of kiwi jokes and puns for kids (and adults who still love a good laugh). Whether you’re a fan of the delicious fruit or the flightless bird, these clever and positive puns will have you cracking up in no time. So grab a slice of kiwi, sit back, and enjoy these best kiwi jokes that will surely add some humor to your day. Get ready to go down under with our hilarious list of kiwi jokes – no passport required!

Peeling Back the Laughs: Kiwi Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

1. Why did the kiwi go to the doctor? Because he had a case of the “aw-pick-me-ups!”
2. What do you call a group of trendy kiwis? “Chic kiwicadas!”
3. How did the kiwi get over his fear of flying? He took a crash course!
4. What’s a kiwi’s favorite band? “Flight of the Conchords”!
5. What did the kiwi say when he bumped into a tree? “Oh shucks, I’ve got a branch-ew!”
6. What do you call a kiwi who plays a lot of video games? A “controller”!
7. Why was the kiwi chef fired? He kept putting too much “kiwi-on” everything!
8. What do you call a kiwi who is always late? A “late-comer”!
9. How does a kiwi like his eggs? “Beak and easy”!
10. What do you call a group of talented kiwis? “Kiwibrarians”!
11. What did the kiwi say after it tasted a sour fruit? “That’s unseed-able”!
12. How did the kiwi become a master gardener? He took a “groh-art” class!
13. What do you call a group of rebellious kiwis? “Juicenicks”!
14. Why did the kiwi go to the gym? He wanted to work on his “peck-torals!
15. How do you make a kiwi laugh? Tell it a “bird” joke!
16. What do you call a kiwi who is always on time? A “punctual-pod”!
17. Why are kiwis so good at playing hide and seek? Because they’re masters at “kiwi-ding”!
18. What’s a kiwi’s favorite hobby? “Bee-keeping”!
19. Why did the kiwi refuse to fly South for the winter? Because he was on a “no-fly-zon”!
20. How did the Kiwis win the rugby match? They had a “frui-chance” of winning!

Crack up with these hilarious ‘Funny Kiwi’ one-liner jokes!

1. Why did the kiwi go to the doctor? Because he was peeling unwell.
2. I tried to make fruit salad, but all I had were kiwis and avocados. It was a kiwi struggle.
3. What did the kiwi say when he won the lottery? “I’m a very lucky kiwi!”
4. Why was the kiwi so popular at parties? Because he was the life of the kiwi!
5. What do you call a kiwi who’s always late? A slow pokeberry.
6. Don’t trust a kiwi with a secret – they’re known to ruffie.
7. My new year’s resolution is to eat more fruit, starting with a kiwi every day. A kiwi a day keeps the doctor away!
8. What did the kiwi say when he got bumped off the flight? “That’s just plane rude!”
9. What do you call a kiwi who’s really good at math? An equa-kiwi.
10. How did the kiwi propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a sweet, juicy kiss and asked, “Will you be my main squeeze?”
11. Why was the kiwi so grumpy? He was just a bit seedy.
12. I asked a kiwi if it wanted to go on a date, but it said no, it had pears for someone else.
13. What do you call a kiwi who’s always running late? A procrastin-kiwi.
14. Warning: be careful when eating a kiwi – they can be quite sneaky.
15. What did the kiwi say when he was stuck in traffic? “This is such a jam-berry!”
16. No wonder the kiwi is so small – it must be hard to grow on such a tiny branch!
17. What did the kiwi say when he won a singing competition? “I’m the best kiwi-tarist!”
18. Why did the kiwi cross the road? To get to the juicy side!
19. What do you call a kiwi who’s really good at telling jokes? A punsterberry.
20. Did you hear about the new variety of kiwi that’s harder to peel? It’s called the kiwi-grip.

Get a Taste of Laughter with these QnA Kiwi Jokes & Puns!

1. Why did the kiwi go on a diet? Because he wanted to be a lean, green fighting machine.
2. What did the kiwi say when he bumped into the mango? “Kiwi do apologize for that.”
3. How does a kiwi fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
4. Why did the kiwi get kicked out of the garden? He was too fruity for his own good.
5. What do you call a kiwi with a sore throat? A hoarse fruit.
6. How do you know when a kiwi has a secret? It’s written in his peel.
7. Why did the kiwi call the police? Because he saw a grapefruit hiding behind a bush.
8. What did the kiwi say when he won the lottery? “Kiwi believe it!”
9. Why don’t kiwis make good spies? Because they’re always getting spotted.
10. How does a kiwi get to work? By fruit bus.
11. What’s a kiwi’s favorite breakfast food? Fruit loops.
12. Why did the orange go out with the kiwi? Because it couldn’t find a good date.
13. How do you make a kiwi laugh? Tell it a grape joke.
14. What do you call a kiwi who loves to dance? A fruity tutie.
15. Why did the strawberry go on a date with the kiwi? Because he heard he was berry charming.
16. How do you know when a kiwi is happy? When he’s looking peachy.
17. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
18. What did the kiwi say to the apple? “You’re the apple of my eye.”
19. How does a kiwi exercise? By doing fruit-ups.
20. Why did the kiwi break up with the orange? Because it wasn’t zesting him anymore.

Dad Jokes about Kiwi: A Punny Way to Embrace the Fruit and the Culture!

1. Why did the kiwi cross the road? To get to the other slice!
2. How do you make a kiwi laugh? You tell it a funny pun-apple!
3. I asked my son what fruit is the most fashionable. He said, “I don’t know, but I bet they’re kiwirri!”
4. What’s a kiwi’s favorite type of music? Rock-a-kiwi!
5. Did you know that birds don’t use cell phones? They prefer to talk on kiwi-wi!
6. What do you call a frightful kiwi? A terro-kiwi!
7. Why did the kiwi go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling berry good.
8. I tried to make a salad with kiwi, but I couldn’t find the chops-ticks.
9. Have you ever seen a kiwi playing soccer? It’s pretty goal-darn cute!
10. How do you catch a misbehaving kiwi? You give it a time-out-kiwi!
11. What did the kiwi say when it was feeling under the weather? I’m feeling kiwi-cy!
12. Why did the kiwi quit his job? He was tired of working in a fruitless job.
13. My son asked me why the kiwi has such small wings. I said, “Because it’s a flight-less bird!”
14. What did the kiwi say when he won the lottery? “This is un-beak-able!”
15. I told my son to eat his kiwi because it’s good for him. He said, “But it doesn’t have any super-kale-powers!”
16. What did the baby kiwi say to its mom? “I’m your little kiwi-pie!”
17. How do you know a kiwi is ripe? It gives off a kiwi-t smell!
18. What did the kiwi say to the pineapple? “You have some peelings to do!”
19. I asked my wife if she wanted kiwi in her smoothie. She said, “Not unless it’s kiwi-ing me softly.”
20. Why did the kiwi go to therapy? Because it couldn’t handle all the haters calling it a ‘stubby pear’ anymore.

Peeling Back the Fun: Kiwi Puns & Jokes for Kids!

1. Why did the Kiwi bird go to the doctor? Because it was feeling kiwi-sick.
2. What do you call a Kiwi who loves to dance? A Kiwi-shaker!
3. How many Kiwis does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they’re used to living in the dark.
4. How did the Kiwi bird get lost? It took a wrong turn at Kiwiville.
5. Why don’t Kiwis ever get into fights? They’re too shy to start anything.
6. What do you call a Kiwi who’s always late? A kiwi-turtle.
7. What did the Kiwi say to its reflection? “Hey there, my kiwi-alike!”
8. How does a Kiwi wear its hair? In little kiwiclips!
9. What did the Kiwi bird say when it couldn’t find its nest? “I’m feeling kiwi-lost!”
10. What happens when a Kiwi bird eats too much fruit? It gets kiwi-tummy ache.
11. Where do Kiwis go when they want to exercise? To the gymnest.
12. How do Kiwis communicate with each other? They use kiwi-phones!
13. What did the Kiwi bird say when it fell down? “I’m kiwi-broken!”
14. How do you make a Kiwi laugh? With a kiwi-joke, of course!
15. What do you call a Kiwi on a hot summer day? A sun-kissed kiwi-fruit.
16. Why was the Kiwi bird scared of the water? Because it didn’t know how to kiwi-paddle.
17. How do you get a Kiwi to come out of its shell? Offer it a delicious treat, like a kiwi-fruit!
18. What’s a Kiwi’s favorite school subject? Kiwi-ology!
19. Why were the Kiwi birds so good at math? Because they were pros at kiwi-culation.
20. What did the Kiwi say when it met the pineapple? “You’re a kiwi-lookin’ fruit!”

Peeling back the laughter: Funny Quotes about Kiwi

1. “A kiwi a day keeps the doctor away, unless you’re allergic. Then you’re just screwed.”
2. “Why did the kiwi cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!”
3. “I like my kiwis like I like my friends – slightly quirky and always full of surprises.”
4. “Life is like a kiwi – sweet and tangy, but also slightly fuzzy and confusing.”
5. “They say money doesn’t grow on trees, but have you ever seen a kiwi plantation?”
6. “A kiwi a day keeps the bad vibes away, and also turns your tongue green.”
7. “There’s no such thing as a bad kiwi, just some that are more adventurous than others.”
8. “Kiwis and humans have a lot in common – we both have our moments of tartness.”
9. “They say opposites attract, which explains why kiwis and strawberries make the perfect pairing.”
10. “I could never be a kiwi farmer, I can barely keep my houseplants alive.”
11. “If you ever feel down, just remember that there’s a fruit out there named after a flightless bird.”
12. “Kiwis might not have wings, but they sure know how to fly off the grocery store shelves.”
13. “I’m not saying kiwi is the best fruit, but have you ever seen a sad person while eating one?”
14. “I always thought the plural of kiwi was “kiwies,” until I realized it’s just more kiwi.”
15. “I don’t always eat kiwis, but when I do, I’m never quite sure if I’m supposed to eat the skin or not.”
16. “Why did the kiwi go to therapy? Because he was feeling a little squished.”
17. “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a kiwi, asking it to turn into a strawberry.”
18. “I could do without the fuzzy skin, but I can’t imagine a world without kiwis.”
19. “If life hands you lemons, make lemonade. If life hands you kiwis, make a fruit salad.”
20. “The only time you’ll hear me say “no” to a kiwi is when the grocery store is all out.”

A Kiwi a day keeps the sorrow away: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Kiwi

1. “A Kiwi a day keeps the kiwifruit doctors away.”
2. The early Kiwi catches the worm, but the late Kiwi gets the sleep.
3. “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, unless they’re Kiwi eggs – then you’re in for a treat.”
4. “A rolling Kiwi gathers no moss, but it does attract a lot of sheep.”
5. You can’t make a Kiwi fly, but you can give it a Red Bull and watch it try.
6. “A watched pot never boils, but a pot of Kiwi jam will make your mouth water.”
7. “Actions speak louder than words, but in the case of a Kiwi bird, its shrieks are pretty darn loud.”
8. “Be careful what you wish for, you might just end up with a basket of Kiwi fruit.”
9. “A penny saved is a penny earned, unless you’re a Kiwi – then you’ll just plant it in the garden and watch it grow.”
10. “You can lead a Kiwi to water, but you can’t make it swim – they prefer to waddle.”
11. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a Kiwi a day keeps the sheep happy.”
12. “Birds of a feather flock together, unless they’re Kiwis – then they prefer to go solo.”
13. “A stitch in time saves nine, but a Kiwi wearing a sweater is just plain cute.”
14. “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire – and probably a Kiwi trying to roast marshmallows.”
15. “The grass is always greener on the other side…unless you’re a Kiwi and you prefer kiwifruit plants.”
16. “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, unless they’re Kiwi chicks – then you’ll have a lot of counting to do.”
17. “It’s always darkest before the dawn, but a Kiwi in the dark is just plain adorable.”
18. “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but a Kiwi by any other name would still be a flightless bird.”
19. “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade, but if life gives you a Kiwi, just eat it – they’re delicious.”
20. “Better late than never, unless you’re a Kiwi trying to catch a worm – then you’re out of luck.”

Peeling Back the Layers of ‘Kiwi’ Double Entendres: A Juicy Look at Puns!

1. “I’m sorry, I can’t hang out tonight. I’m going to play with some kiwis.” (Could mean either playing with the fruit or hanging out with New Zealanders)
2. “I love going to the beach to get my kiwis wet.” (Could refer to swimming or eating the fruit)
3. Let’s have a kiwi party and get juicy.” (Could mean having a gathering of kiwi fruits or getting drunk on kiwi wine)
4. “I didn’t know kiwis could fly until I saw one at the market.” (Could mean discovering that kiwi birds are capable of flight or seeing a stall selling kiwi fruits)
5. “I can’t get enough of those fuzzy little kiwis.” (Could be talking about the fruit’s exterior or expressing a fondness for Kiwis)
6. “I’m not feeling very peachy, but I’m definitely feeling kiwi.” (Could be a play on being in a sour mood or feeling like eating a kiwi)
7. “I have a new year’s resolution to eat more kiwis, it’s going to be a fruitful year.” (Play on words between “fruitful” and “fruits”)
8. “I’m trying out a new recipe for kiwi salad. So far, it’s vine.” (Could mean the salad is tasty or uses kiwi vines as ingredients)
9. “Kiwi, it’s not just a bird, it’s a way of life.” (Play on words between “kiwi” the bird and “kiwi” the term for a New Zealander)
10. “I need to stock up on more kiwis, gotta keep peeling good about my health.” (Play on words between “peeling” and “feeling”)
11. “A kiwi a day keeps the doctor away.” (Similar to the saying “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”)
12. “I never knew kiwis could be so cute until I saw a kiwi baby.” (Could be talking about kiwi birds or baby kiwi fruits)
13. “I love adding kiwi to my smoothies, it really kicks things up a notch.” (Play on words between “kicks” and “kicks things up”)
14. “I finally found the perfect kiwi for me, it’s just right.” (Could be talking about finding the perfect fruit or the perfect New Zealander)
15. “I’m not just a fan of kiwis, I’m a full-blown aficionado.” (Play on words between “fan” and “aficionado”)
16. “I can never resist a ripe, juicy kiwi.” (Could be talking about the fruit or expressing attraction to New Zealanders)
17. “Kiwi cravings are real, just ask anyone who’s had a slice of kiwi pizza.” (Play on words between “cravings” and “kiwis are not typically used as pizza toppings”)
18. “I tried adding some kiwi to my guacamole, but it turned out to be a big mistake.” (Play on words between “guacamole” and “mistake” or expressing dislike for mixing kiwi with avocados)
19. “Who needs a fruit basket when you can have a kiwi bouquet?” (Play on words between “fruit basket” and “bouquet” or expressing love for Kiwi fruits)
20. “I can’t wait to get my hands on those juicy, green kiwis.” (Could be talking about the fruit or expressing desire for New Zealanders)

Unpeeling the layers of ‘kiwi’-ng jokes with these recursive puns!

1. Why was the kiwi always stressed out? Because he couldn’t handle all the kiwi-liciousness!
2. Did you hear about the kiwi who had a fear of heights? He was told to just keep his feet on the ground- er, the kiwi.
3. They say life is a rollercoaster, but for a kiwi, it’s just a constant loop-d-loop!
4. Once you peel back the layers, a kiwi is just a fuzzy, green palindrome.
5. What did the kiwi say when he met his soulmate? “You complete me, kiw-i!”
6. A kiwi’s favorite movie genre is probably “inception” – after all, it’s all about layers.
7. If a kiwi had a catchphrase, it would probably be “I can’t help it, I’m just too kiwi for words.”
8. How do you know when a kiwi is lying? His story is just too a-peeling.
9. They say money can’t buy happiness, but have you ever seen a sad kiwi? Exactly.
10. I tried to tell a good kiwi joke, but it just kept coming back to bite me in the kiwi.
11. What do you call a group of kiwis working together? A kiwi-pod!
12. You know what they say, a kiwi a day keeps the doctor away…and then comes back around again.
13. Did you hear about the kiwi who went on a downhill ski adventure? He was just following the natural kiwi-station.
14. They say the early bird gets the worm, but for a kiwi, it’s just another day of playing catch-the-loop.
15. What did the kiwi say when he won the race? “I guess I just had a little kiwi-lection!”
16. How do you know when a kiwi is really excited? He just can’t stop kiwi-ing!
17. They say two heads are better than one, but for a kiwi, it’s just double the loop-de-loops.
18. Why did the kiwi decide to become a pilot? He was tired of always going around in circles.
19. I saw a kiwi on the street the other day and couldn’t help but ask, “Hey, kiwi doin?”
20. Even when a kiwi is feeling down, you can’t help but smile when he’s just too kiwi for his own good.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kiwi me a joke!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kiwi. Kiwi who? Kiwi-s spread the love, let me in!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say Kiwi?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Berry. Berry who? Berry-enice Kiwi you have there!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Banana-leeted the Kiwi from this joke.
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Grape. Grape who? Grape-ful for Kiwis in a fruit salad!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lime. Lime who? Lime telling silly jokes about Kiwis all day!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-y ever after with Kiwis by my side.
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pineapple. Pineapple who? Pineapple-y trying to come up with more Kiwi jokes.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peach. Peach who? Peach-is piece of Kiwi humor.
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pear. Pear who? Pear-ly love Kiwis with all my heart.
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mango. Mango who? Mango-ing crazy for these Kiwi jokes!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cantaloupe. Cantaloupe who? Cantaloupe without Kiwis in my fruit basket.
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Watermelon. Watermelon who? Watermelon-t to eat some juicy Kiwis right now.
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Papaya. Papaya who? Papaya-ing attention to these hilarious Kiwi jokes.
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honeydew. Honeydew who? Honeydew you want to taste some Kiwi sweetness?
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Avocado. Avocado who? Avocado any more Kiwi jokes to share?
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Blueberry. Blueberry who? Blueberry-yourself laughing at these Kiwi puns.
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raspberry. Raspberry who? Raspberry-ing the bar with Kiwi cocktails!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Blackberry. Blackberry who? Blackberry-son for not including Kiwis in this joke list earlier.
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Coconut. Coconut who? Coconut-tainly think Kiwis are the best fruit for these jokes!

Saying Kiwi-dbye to these egg-celent puns!

Well folks, we’ve reached the end of our journey through the land of Kiwi puns and jokes. I don’t know about you, but after reading this post, I’m feeling pretty pear-fectly pun-tastic. But before we go, don’t forget to check out some other related posts for an extra dose of laughter. Remember, life is just too short to not appreciate a good pun, especially when it comes to the fuzzy and flightless kiwi bird. So go forth and spread the joy of puns, my friends. Kiwi-n’t wait to hear about your favorites!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

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