85+ Horror Puns & Jokes: You’re In For A Scream!

Get ready to laugh… if you dare! Buckle up, horror fans, because we’re diving into a crypt-ic collection of the best puns and jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone. This isn’t your typical list of horror humor – we’ve got clever quips and positively hilarious wordplay that’ll have you howling at the moon (or maybe just chuckling to yourself in a dimly lit room). So, dim the lights, grab your sense of humor, and prepare for some scary good puns!

My Picks: Top Bone-Chilling Horror Puns

1. I used to be a horror writer, but I couldn’t hack it.
2. This horror movie is really throwing shade… of pale.
3. That haunted house really gave me the heebie-jee-bees. I need to bee-gone.
4. The zombie walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Hey! We have a drink named after you!” The zombie replied, “What? You have a drink called Bob?”
5. I met a vampire at a blood drive today. Talk about awkward!
6. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream, you scream…
7. This haunted house is so scary, it’s un-boo-lievable!
8. Just saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand. Looking for a hairy meal, I guess.
9. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
10. Someone stole all the toilets from the police station. Now the cops have nothing to go on!
11. What do you call it when a group of apes starts a band? Gorillaz.
12. This movie is so predictable, it’s like watching paint scream.
13. Never ask a vampire for relationship advice. They’re always a sucker for a pretty face.

Funniest & Best Horror Puns That Will Make You Die Laughing

1. I tried to tell a horror pun, but it fell flat. Apparently, my sense of humor is quite ghoulish.
2. Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through them.
3. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A bloody orange, of course!
4. I met a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand. Looking puzzled, I asked, “Your usual?” He grinned and replied, “No, I’m trying to decide what to have were-later.”
5. You know, Dracula is actually a very romantic guy… when he falls for you, it’s for blood.
6. I went to a haunted karaoke bar the other night. The spirits really brought the house down!
7. Did you hear about the restaurant they opened beside the graveyard? Business is dead.
8. What’s the most important part of a ghost’s car? The spook plugs.
9. Being a vampire is tough these days… it’s really hard to make a living.
10. Never take a zombie to court. They will always choose to go to a mistrial.
11. What do you get if you cross a horror movie and a romantic comedy? Lots of love at first fright.
12. I went to a Halloween party dressed as a broken pencil. It was a little pointless.
13. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.

Funny One-liners Horror Jokes To Make You Scream With Laughter

1. I wanted to dress up as a calendar for Halloween, but I got scared and decided to just “leaf” it alone.
2. What’s a ghost’s favorite type of humor? Anything but the living deadpan.
3. Just watched a documentary about making horror movie props… It had some really interesting behind-the-screams footage.
4. I used to work in a haunted house… it was all fun and games until I got sheetfaced and fired.
5. Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
6. What do you get if you cross a horror movie with a romantic comedy? Til death do us part with laughter.
7. Mummies are the worst at keeping secrets… They’re always letting the cat out of the sarcophagus.
8. Why don’t they play poker in the haunted house? Too many spirits raising the stakes.
9. What do you call an indecisive monster? The Creature of Maybe.
10. Having a skeleton in your closet isn’t that scary after a while, you get used to it… It’s the ones that show up unexpectedly that are truly horrifying.
11. I met a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand. Looking puzzled, I asked, “Where do you want to go to eat?” He said, “Wok this way.”

Horror QnA Puns and Jokes: Prepare to Laugh… If You Dare!

1. Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite type of housing? A: Condo-miniums!
2. Q: Why did the vampire break up with the ghost? A: He said she was too clingy and he needed some “space”.
3. Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations? A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
4. Q: What do you call a horror movie about a houseplant obsessed with growing bigger? A: “Little Shop of Horrorthropods!”
5. Q: Why was the ghost always tired? A: He worked the graveyard shift!
6. Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato!
7. Q: How do you make a witch itchy? A: Take away the “W”!
8. Q: Why are ghosts such bad liars? A: Because you can see right through them!
9. Q: Why did the zombie go to the hospital? A: He was feeling a little rotten!
10. Q: What do you call it when a group of demons start a singing group? A: A doom-metal band!
11. Q: What’s a monster’s favorite play? A: Romeo and Ghoul-iet!
12. Q: What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? A: Straw-berries!
13. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn’t have the guts!

Dad Jokes About Horror: Prepare to Groan

1. Why don’t mummies ever take vacations? They’re afraid to relax and unwind!
2. What’s a vampire’s least favorite fruit? A bloody orange!
3. You heard about the haunted refrigerator? It was possessed by…Tupperware!
4. Why did the zombie cross the road? He couldn’t find any brains on his side!
5. I just finished writing a horror movie about a killer coffee maker. It’s pretty intense. It’s called “The Groundskeeper.”
6. Why don’t skeletons ever tell lies? You can see right through them!
7. What does a vampire call his wife? His ghoul-friend!
8. What’s a ghost’s favorite music genre? “Spook”-ify!
9. Why was the ghost so tired after his flight? He had a rough “landing.”
10. I wanted to dress up as a broken mirror for Halloween, but I changed my mind. I didn’t want to risk seven years of bad luck. Besides, I couldn’t see myself wearing it.

Horror Jokes and Puns for Kids to Enjoy

1. Why didn’t the vampire’s reflection show up in the mirror? Because he was having a horrible hair day!
2. What do you call a mischievous ghost’s favorite type of music? Horrormonic scales!
3. Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
4. Why did the zombie go to the doctor? He was feeling a little rotten.
5. What does a skeleton say before he eats? Bone appe- skull!
6. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch!
7. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare!
8. Why was the mummy so tired? He worked the graveyard shift.
9. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
10. What do you call a werewolf with a fluffy tail? A were-wag!
11. What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!
12. Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos!

Horror Jokes and Puns for Elders: Because Laughter Never Gets Old

1. Why don’t vampires like haunted houses? Too much competition in the “who can look the most dead inside” contest.
2. You know you’re getting old when… your idea of a scary movie is watching the nightly news.
3. What’s a ghost’s favorite type of story? A bone-chilling tale.
4. My retirement plan is terrifying. I call it “living on my savings.”
5. The nursing home staff keeps finding bite marks on the residents… Turns out, it’s just Earl. He keeps forgetting he has dentures.
6. What do you call a horror movie for arthritic audiences? “The Creaking.”
7. Why did the elder ghost refuse to haunt the abandoned amusement park? He was tired of the roller-coaster of emotions.
8. I tried watching a horror movie with surround sound and subtitles… Scared the hearing aids right out of my ears.
9. A vampire walks into a retirement home and asks, “Got any type O?” The nurse replies, “Yeah, but we usually call it bingo night.”
10. My doctor told me I have a terrible case of Restless Leg Syndrome… Guess I’ll be joining a Thriller dance troupe next month!
11. What do you call a skeleton who goes out in public? A real bonehead.
12. You know you’re getting old when… you find a real skull in your garden and think, “Huh, must have left that out from Halloween.”

Horror Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media to Die Laughing At

1. I tried to think of a good horror movie pun… but they all fell flat. 💀
2. Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because they’re easy to see through. 👻
3. What’s a ghost’s favorite type of mail? Snail mail, because it’s already dead. 🐌✉️
4. You know a horror movie is truly scary when… you have to watch it on low brightness to save your phone battery. 📱😱
5. What do you call a vampire with a sun tan? A crisp. 🧛‍♂️🔥
6. My friend said his new apartment was haunted by the ghost of a failed comedian. I told him that must be rough, having to live with unfunny boo-mer material. 🎤👻
7. I’m writing a horror movie about things that go bump in the night… It’s about my crippling student loan debt. 🎓💸😭
8. What’s a monster’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat…drop. 👹🎶
9. What’s it called when a group of zombies performs in a musical? A deadication. 🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🎤
10. The scariest thing about vampires? Having to listen to them complain about garlic prices these days. 🧛‍♂️🧄💰
11. Never ask a vampire for relationship advice… They’re always talking about exes. 😉🧛‍♀️
12. My friend asked me if I preferred psychological horror or slasher films. I told him I like my horror how I like my coffee: psycho. ☕️🔪

Knock-knock Jokes about Horror for a Spooky Laugh

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horror. Horror who? Horror-fied to see you again, it’s been too long!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horror. Horror who? Horror-ay for another spooky night in!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horror. Horror who? Horror you doing tonight? Want to watch a scary movie?
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horror. Horror who? Horror-ibble traffic out there, glad you made it!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horror. Horror who? Horror-king up your Halloween costume yet?
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horror. Horror who? Horror are you waiting for? Get in here, it’s spooky time!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horror. Horror who? Horror-bly sorry I ate all the Halloween candy!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horror. Horror who? Horror-ever thought about a career in comedy? You’re a scream!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horror. Horror who? Horror-ific weather we’re having, perfect for telling ghost stories!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horror. Horror who? Horror-d’oeuvres anyone? I made zombie fingers!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horror. Horror who? Horror-ibly clichéd, but BOO! Did I scare you?
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horror. Horror who? Horror not, I come in peace… and with popcorn for the movie!

That’s All, Folks! Hope These Puns Didn’t Kill You.

Hope these horror puns and jokes didn’t leave you too scared to scroll any further! If you’re still brave enough for more laughs, our website is packed with enough puns to turn a groan into a growl. Happy haunting!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

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