Welcome to the best page for all your gun-related humor needs! We’ve rounded up the most clever and hilarious puns about guns that are sure to make you and your little ones crack up. From funny jokes to a list of puns that will leave you in stitches, we’ve got it all. So lock and load, and get ready to laugh your socks off with our positive and light-hearted take on guns. Let’s playfully shoot our way through this post together, shall we?
Lock, Stock, and Barrel: Our Top ‘Gun’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks
- Why did the cowboy take his gun to bed? Because he wanted to sleep shot-gun.
- What do you call a gun that never misses? A bullseye-beretta.
- Did you hear about the gun that became a lawyer? It passed the bar exam with flying bullets.
- Why did the gun apply for a job at the bank? It wanted to be a loan-ranger.
- What did the gun say to its owner when it jammed? “Sorry, I’m just not firing on all cylinders.”
- How does a gun communicate with other guns? It uses its muzzle-phone.
- Why did the gun go to therapy? Because it had a trigger-happy owner.
- What did the gun say to the bullet that was late? “Sorry, I’m just running a little behind schedule.”
- Why did the hunter switch from using a rifle to a bow and arrow? He wanted to give his enemies a fair shot.
- How do guns celebrate their birthdays? With a bullet-proof party.
- Why did the gun take a sick day? Because it was feeling under the weather.
- What did one gun say to the other gun while watching a scary movie? “Don’t worry, we have each other’s back.”
- Why do guns make terrible chefs? Because they always shoot the peas.
- What do you call a group of guns? A shoot-out.
- Why was the gun jealous of the bow and arrow? It was tired of being shot down.
- How do guns exercise? They do trigger-pulls.
- Why was the gun asked to leave the party? It was being too loud and obnoxious.
- What do you call a gun that loves to dance? A bang-boom-balaboom.
- Why did the gun feel guilty after going hunting? Because it realized it had shot the quack of dawn.
- What do you call a gun that can’t hold its tongue? A glock-on-roaring firearm.
Unlock a Barrel of Laughs with These Funny ‘Gun’ One-Liner Jokes
- I tried to make a pencil gun, but it was pointless.
- The gun store clerk said he had a great inventory, but I found it to be quite disarming.
- I used to have a fear of guns, but then I got over it with a little revolver therapy.
- Why did the cow buy a gun? Because she wanted to be udder protection.
- The clown had a tough time at the shooting range, he couldn’t hit a bullseye even if his life depended on it.
- I asked the gunsmith if he could make me a belt buckle gun, but he said it was a waist of time.
- The gun-toting politician always shoots from the hip, but never hits the mark.
- What do you call a gun that doesn’t kill? A disappointer.
- Why did the chicken go to the gun store? She was tired of being a sitting duck.
- The baker went to the gun show and was surprised to find out they were selling sweet rifles.
- Why did the ghost have a gun? In case of boooooo-rglars.
- The magician’s favorite gun is a wand-erful choice.
- I bought a new wooden gun, but it wouldn’t fire. It was just a stick-up.
- The ammunition factory blew up, but luckily no one was hurt. It was a bulletsafe zone.
- Why did the doctor have a gun? For operating at high caliber.
- The yoga teacher said she could disarm any gunman with her downward facing dog pose.
- I saw a man riding a horse with a gun holster, I guess he’s aiming to please.
- The gym instructor said the best exercise for your arms is gun control.
- Why did the banana go to the gun range? It wanted to become a peeled shooter.
- The gun left its holster and went on a shooting spree, turns out it had a hair trigger.
Locked and Loaded with QnA Jokes & Puns about Guns
- What did the pistol say when it graduated from gun school? “I’m a real bang-up shooter now!”
- Why did the bullet refuse to come out of the gun? It was feeling a little shell-shocked.
- How does a gun make a good detective? It always knows how to hit the target.
- What did the police officer say when the gun ran away? “Stop, or I’ll have to draw!”
- Why did the gun get so angry? Because it kept getting triggered.
- What did one bullet say to the other bullet? “Come on, let’s go make some ammo-sphere!”
- Why was the gun sent to detention? For shooting its mouth off.
- How does a gun communicate with its owner? Through bullet points.
- Why did the revolver break up with the shotgun? It said they weren’t a good match because they were too double-barreled.
- Why did the sheriff’s gun never leave town? Because it was the “quick-draw-l” of the law.
- What did the pistol say when it retired? “I’m gun-less and happy now.”
- How does a gun get rid of a headache? With a bullet aspirin.
- Why did the shotgun refuse to shoot at birds? Because it had a quack against them.
- What did the gun enthusiast say when someone asked about their favorite type of gun? “I don’t like to pick favorites, but I’ve always had a soft spot for revolver-ee.”
- Why did the ammo factory worker get fired? They kept skipping work and calling in bullet points.
- How did the cowboy keep his guns in such good condition? He always kept them loaded with love and tenderness.
- Why did the rifle refuse to go to the gym? It said it was already “fully armed.”
- What did the revolver say when asked about their love life? “I’m still looking for the perfect target.”
- Why did the gun get nervous before a battle? Because it was afraid of getting gun-shy.
- What did the bullet say to the target? “I always hit the mark, but you seem like a bulletproof case.”
Locked and Loaded: Hilarious Dad Jokes about Guns
- “Why did the gun go to school? To get a higher caliber education!”
- “I told my gun to shoot me an email, but it just gave me a blank cartridge.”
- “Why was the gun feeling insecure? Because it was always locked and loaded.”
- “What do you call a gun that takes down trees? A sawed-off shooter.”
- “Why did the gun go on a diet? It wanted to be a slim rifle.”
- “What did the gun say when it was feeling lonely? ‘I need a shot of friends-hip!'”
- “Why did the gun break up with its girlfriend? She was too trigger-happy!”
- “What happened when the gun went to the gym? It got fully loaded!”
- “Why did the gun get kicked out of the library? It was book, line, and barrel!”
- “What do you call a gun with a sense of humor? A comical cartridge.”
- “Why did the gun go to the doctor? It had a bad case of shootosis.”
- “What did the gun say when it fell in love? ‘You swept me off my feet, Cupidlock!'”
- “Why was the gun always playing pranks? It had a mischievous magazine.”
- “What did the gun say when it was feeling down? ‘I’m feeling shot.'”
- “Why did the gun quit its job? There was too much recoil!”
- “Why did the gun join the debate team? It loved to argue its bullet points.”
- “What did the gun say to its enemy? ‘I’m feeling bulletproof today!'”
- “Why did the gun go to the shooting range? To get some target practice.”
- “What happened when the gun went on a date? It had a bullet-proof vest on its heart.”
- “Why did the gun get jealous? It was tired of its owner giving all the ammo-tion to their other guns!”
Lock and Laughs: Gun Puns and Jokes for Young Gunners!
- Why did the cowboy go to the dentist? To get his “tooth” shooter cleaned!
- What did the bullet say to the gun when it couldn’t find its way out? “Let me take the lead!”
- How does a cowboy make sure he never misses a target? By keeping his “vision” locked on!
- Why did the cowboy choose to ride a horse instead of drive a car? Because it had a “horse-power” engine!
- Who is a gun’s favorite musician? “Trigger” Swift!
- What did the gun say to the shooter who was always late? “You better get in the range of time!”
- Why did the outlaw bring a ladder to the gunfight? Because he wanted to “climb” to the top!
- What did the cowboy say when he found out his gun wasn’t working? “It’s time for some ‘fire’arm maintenance!”
- How do you know you’re using a cowboy’s favorite gun? It’s always “in-tuned”, with a “gun” tuning key!
- What did the gun say to the bullet when they were about to be loaded? “Ready, aim, fire!”
- Why did the cowboy always keep a rubber band near his gun? He was afraid of “snap” shots!
- Who is a gun’s favorite movie character? “Ben Shoddler” from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly!
- Why did the outlaw give away all his “hidden” money? Because it was making him “bandit”!
- What do you call a gun addicted to shopping? A “firearm”-aholic!
- Why did the cowboy bring his pet tiger to the shootout? To give his enemies a “tale” they could never forget!
- How do you know a gun is having a bad day? It starts “shooting” blanks!
- Why did the outlaw use an umbrella during the gunfire? To keep the bullets from “raining” down on him!
- What did the gun say when the cowboy asked for its name? “Call me ‘Trigger’, that’s what they all do!”
- How do you make sure a cowboy’s hat never falls off? By “armed”-ding it with a gun!
- Why did the cowboy’s “six shooter” always run out of bullets? Because it could never count to six accurately!
Lock and LOL: Hilarious Quotes about Guns to Keep You Laughing!
- “I may not be a sharpshooter, but I can make a gun look good.”
- “My gun may not be the biggest, but it sure does the job.”
- “Guns don’t kill people, gaping wounds do.”
- “I’ve got 99 problems, but my shooting ain’t one.”
- “A gun may be a girl’s best friend, but a closet full of shoes is a close second.”
- “When in doubt, just shoot your problems away.”
- “They say guns don’t solve anything, but have they tried aiming at their ex?”
- “I may not be able to run fast, but I can sure aim straight.”
- “If guns could talk, mine would have some crazy stories to tell.”
- “I like my coffee how I like my guns; loaded and ready for action.”
- “I may not be a superhero, but my gun is my trusty sidekick.”
- “Why settle for a hug when a bullet can do the job?”
- “I don’t shoot to kill, I shoot to annoy.”
- “I’m not saying I’m Rambo, but I have been known to shoot first and ask questions later.”
- “Guns don’t make me feel powerful, but holding a microphone does.”
- I may be a pacifist, but I still sleep with a loaded water gun by my bed.
- “My gun is like my second brain, it thinks for me when I can’t.”
- “I may not have the right to bear arms, but I definitely have the right to flex my muscle with a gun.”
- “According to my gun, I have a 100% success rate in killing flies.”
- “I like my guns how I like my men; loaded and always by my side.”
Bang for Your Buck: Hilarious Gun-related Proverbs
- A gun in the hand is worth two in the safe.
- Don’t bring a water gun to a real gun fight.
- You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it aim a gun.
- A gun is like a good joke; when you have to explain it, it’s not that funny.
- Don’t bring a knife to a gun store.
- A gun is like a superhero; it saves the day, but it always comes at a high cost.
- An unloaded gun is like a car without gas; useless.
- Aim for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the guns.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets the bigger gun.
- A loaded gun and an empty wallet can both leave a painful mark.
- Don’t put all your bullets in one gun.
- A gun is like hindsight; it’s only useful after the fact.
- Who needs a personal trainer when you have a loaded gun to motivate you?
- A gun in the hand is worth more than a diamond in the safe.
- It’s not the size of the gun that matters, it’s how you use it.
- A gun is like a marriage; it requires constant maintenance to keep things going smoothly.
- The pen may be mightier than the sword, but a gun trumps them both.
- Shoot for the stars, but keep your guns loaded for protection.
- A gun is like a hammer; it can either build or destroy depending on how you use it.
- It’s better to have a gun and not need it, than to need a gun and not have it.
Lock and Load: Ammo Up on These Gun-tastic Double Entendres and Puns!
- “I never finish reloading, I just keep shooting my load.”
- “Not sure if I should clean my gun or take it out for a quick bang.”
- “I love the feeling of a loaded gun in my hand.”
- “Pull the trigger, and you’ll see how loaded I am.”
- “I always aim to please, but sometimes I just shoot to kill.”
- “Sometimes I like to take my pistol out for a little exercise.”
- “You know what they say, a gun in the hand is worth two in the bush.”
- “My magazines are always fully loaded, if you know what I mean.”
- “I may be small, but I’ll blow your mind with my big barrel.”
- “I never get cocky, but my gun sure does.”
- “Don’t worry, I won’t shoot until you’re locked and loaded.”
- “They say size doesn’t matter, but my gun begs to differ.”
- “I’m always ready for a quick draw, if you know what I mean.”
- “I have a gun and I know how to use it… for fun, of course.”
- “Some people say guns are dangerous, but I say they’re just misunderstood.”
- “You can call me a sharpshooter, because I always hit the spot.”
- “I like to keep my gun nice and oiled, for smooth shots every time.”
- “Why use words, when a loaded gun can say it all?”
- “I may have a shot glass in my hand, but I prefer my shots straight from the barrel.”
- “I may be licensed to carry, but I’m also licensed to thrill.”
Shooting for Laughs: Recursive Puns About Guns
- Did you hear about the pistol that joined the army? It was a real gun-ho!
- Why was the rifle afraid of going to the shooting range? It didn’t want to get shot!
- I thought about getting a new gun, but then I realized I already have a shot in the chamber.
- What do you call a gun that never misses its target? A straight shooter!
- Why was the cowboy’s revolver always sad? It had a lot of barrel trouble.
- I asked my friend why he always carries two guns. He said one is for show, and the other is to show off.
- The old man was so surprised when he shot a deer, he thought he was gun-deering!
- Have you ever heard a joke about a gun? It’s a real blast!
- Why does the shotgun have such a great sense of humor? Because it’s always locked and loaded!
- The gun was feeling out of shape, so it decided to go to the shooting range and work on its trigger-pull-ups.
- Did you hear about the tiny pistol? It was a little gun-dicted.
- I tried to take my rifle to the bank, but they wouldn’t let me because it was considered armed and dangerous.
- The pistol started to go to therapy because it was having trouble with its pop-up sights.
- What do you call it when a gun runs out of bullets? A firing blank!
- I saw a group of guns running down the street, but then I realized it was just a pistol relay.
- I told my dad I wanted to join the police force, but he said I just didn’t have the right gun-telligence.
- Why was the rifle always hungry? It had a constant appetite for ammunition.
- The shotgun was feeling a bit under the weather, so it took a shotgun-cure.
- The revolver kept losing its bullets, so it started to get a little gun-fused.
- The pistol was in a hurry to get to the range, so it decided to gun-it!
Keeping it PG: Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gun. Just kidding, it’s only a knock-knock joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gun. Gun who? Gun-tina, just stopping by to say hi!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pistol. Pistol who? Pistol-whip someone if they don’t laugh at my joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shotgun. Shotgun who? Shotgunny-dearest, I have a joke for you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rifle. Rifle who? Rifle around, you might find a funny bone somewhere!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Glock. Glock who? Glock of seagulls, here to entertain you with a joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Revolver. Revolver who? Revolving door of jokes, just for you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Magnum. Magnum who? Magnum-opus of jokes, that’s me!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Musket. Musket who? Musket your heart skip a beat with my hilarious joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cannon. Cannon who? Cannon get a witness for this amazing joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sniper. Sniper who? Sniper jokes are always on point!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Grenade. Grenade who? Grenade-y to make you laugh with my joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bazooka. Bazooka who? Bazooka-rific joke coming your way!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? AR-15. AR-15 who? AR-15 reasons to laugh at this joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? Tankful for the opportunity to tell you a joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dart gun. Dart gun who? Dart-a-little closer and listen to this joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uzi. Uzi who? Uzi-my joke skills, that’s who!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water gun. Water gun who? Water you waiting for? Let’s hear this joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Paintball gun. Paintball gun who? Paintball-go crazy over this joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rubber band gun. Rubber band gun who? Rubber band together and laugh at this joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? BB gun. BB gun who? BB ready for a joke? Here it comes!
Locked and Loaded with Laughter: Gun Puns!
Looks like we’ve shot our way through 180+ hilarious gun puns and jokes! But don’t holster those laughs just yet, make sure to check out our other related posts for even more pun-derful content. Keep your sense of humor locked and loaded, folks. Happy shooting!