Welcome to the ultimate list of bag jokes and puns! These clever and funny jokes are perfect for kids (and adults) who love a good laugh. We promise this list will have you in stitches with its humor and positive vibes. So grab your bag and get ready for a hilarious ride filled with the best bag jokes ever. Trust us, this list will have you saying, “Bag-don’t-leave-me!” in no time. Get ready for some serious bag humor!
Bagging a Laugh: Our Top Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks
- Why did the bag go to therapy? Because it was feeling a little plastic.
- I can’t handle all these bag puns – they’re just too tote-ally funny!
- I told my baggage it needed to start pulling its weight, but it just couldn’t handle the weight jokes.
- What’s a bag’s favorite type of music? Hip hop!
- Did you hear about the bag who ran away with the circus? He wanted to be a carry-on performer.
- Why couldn’t the bag fit through the door? It was too luggage.
- How do you make a bag laugh? Give it a little tickle on its handle.
- Why did the bag get arrested? It was caught shoplifting.
- What did the bag say to the other bag? “I tote-ally understand your struggles.”
- Why didn’t the bag go on the roller coaster? It was afraid it might lose its lunch.
- How does a bag like its steak cooked? Totes medium rare.
- What do you call a bag with no arms or legs? A pouch.
- Why did the bag refuse to go to the party? It didn’t want to be labeled as a “baggage.”
- What did the bag say to the washing machine? “I’m feeling a little spin cycle today.”
- Why did the bag go to the doctor? It was feeling a little overstuffed.
- What did the bag say when it won the race? “I really put my best bag forward.”
- What did the mommy bag say to the baby bag? “You’re too young to be carrying so much weight.”
- Why was the bag kicked out of the party? It was too much of a carry-on.
- What did the bag say when it saw a thief? “Don’t you dare bag on me!”
- How does a bag like its coffee? Totes-caffeinated!
Carry laughter wherever you go with these funny bag puns!
- I was going to tell a joke about a paper bag, but it’s probably tearable.
- My job at the grocery store really sucks – I’m just a bag man.
- Whenever I feel down, I just put on my sad bag and carry on.
- I finally quit my job at the bakery because it was too crumby.
- Why did the potato chip go to therapy? Because it was feeling a bit salty.
- I hate when I open a bag of chips and it’s half empty – talk about being short-changed!
- I told my therapist I found comfort in a bag of chips, and she said I have snack-issues.
- They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but for me, it’s in the bag of chips.
- My friend tried to eat a bag of salad without any dressing – talk about a dry sense of humor!
- I thought about buying a bag of air, but then I realized it was just thin-flation.
- My new workout routine includes lifting bags of chips from the couch to my mouth.
- My friend thinks she’s an onion, but I think she’s just in a crying bag.
- I accidentally ate a whole bag of chips in one sitting – my diet is chips and dip-lorable.
- I went to the zoo and saw a bag of chips in the primate exhibit – turns out it was a chipmunk.
- Why couldn’t the burglar break into the potato chip factory? They had tight security, and a lot of chips on their shoulders.
- My therapist asked me what my coping mechanism was, and I showed her my collection of reusable bags.
- My wife thinks I have an anger problem, but I just have a bag temper.
- I was going to make a joke about a plastic bag, but it was a little transparent.
- Why did the chip go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit dip-ressed.
- I hate to be a party pooper, but I forgot to bring the chip bags for our picnic.
Bag a laugh with our QnA jokes and puns about bags!
- Q: What do you call a bag that can do math? A: A calculating bag!
- Q: Why did the teddy bear bring a backpack to school? A: To carry his grizzlies!
- Q: Why did the bag go to therapy? A: It was feeling carry-on.
- Q: How do bags travel? A: They go on suitcase-ical tours!
- Q: What did the bag say to the suitcase? A: Zip it, we’re going on a trip!
- Q: What did the bag say when it got lost at the airport? A: Oh, luggage me!
- Q: How do you know when a bag is tired? A: When it’s sack-ed out!
- Q: What do you call a bag that’s afraid of heights? A: A scared pack!
- Q: Why did the bag go on a diet? A: It wanted to be a slim tote!
- Q: How do you make a bag laugh? A: Give it a funny pocket!
- Q: What did the bag say when it got dumped? A: I guess I’m just a carrier of bad news.
- Q: How do you fix a broken bag? A: With a zipper-trick!
- Q: Why was the bag nervous at the airport? A: It was afraid of getting checked!
- Q: What did the bag say to the other bags at the party? A: Let’s all have a totin’ good time!
- Q: How does a bag travel across Europe? A: On an interpacks rail!
- Q: Why did the bag need a restraining order? A: It was too clingy.
- Q: How do you know when a bag is lying? A: Its straps are crossed!
- Q: What’s a bag’s favorite type of music? A: Sack-religious.
- Q: Why did the bag go to the gym? A: It wanted to work on its handlebars.
- Q: What did the bag say to the washing machine? A: Don’t fold me up, I’m stuffed!
Bag”ging a Laugh: Hilarious Dad Jokes about Bags
- Why did the dad refuse to lend his bag to anyone? Because he didn’t want to be charged with “bag-ery”!
- What do you call a nerdy bag? A “satchel-person”!
- Did you hear about the thief who stole a bag full of puzzle pieces? He ended up trying to make a “bag-saw” puzzle!
- Why was the bag constantly shivering? Because it was afraid of “bag-gers”!
- What do you call a bag that always tells the truth? A “honest-y bag”!
- How do you make a bag laugh? You give it a joke and wait for the “bag-guffaws”!
- What’s a bag’s favorite kind of music? Anything with “bag pipes”!
- Why was the bag so angry? It had a “bag temper”!
- What’s a bag’s favorite mode of transportation? The “hand-bagg-age”!
- How did the dad plan on carrying all his groceries home? With his “dad-bod-bag”!
- Did you hear about the new handbag company? They’re revolutionizing the industry with their “bag-strap-free” designs!
- Why did the dad get sad when he saw his old bag? Because it brought back “bag memories”!
- What’s a bag’s favorite class in school? “Back-pack-ing”!
- What did the dad say when his son asked for a new backpack for school? “We’ll see, it’s not like I can just pull one out of my ‘dad-bag’!”
- Why did the bag go on vacation to the beach? To work on its “tan-lines”!
- Why was the dad’s golf bag so happy? Because it finally got a “par-king spot”!
- What did the dad say when his daughter forgot to pack her swimsuit for the pool? “You really dropped the ‘bag’ on this one!”
- Why do bags make the worst musicians? They can never seem to find their “chord-bag”!
- What did the dad say when his wife complained about his overflowing bag collection? “Hey, at least I have a ‘bag-up’ plan!”
- How does a bag keep itself warm during winter? It puts on a “bag scarf”!
Bagging Laughs: Hilarious Puns & Jokes for Kids Who Love a Good Bag-tter!
- Why couldn’t the grocery bag get a date? Because it was always being carried around.
- What do you call a bag made out of corn? A maize sack.
- Why did the bag of chips go to the doctor? Because it had a chip on its shoulder.
- What do you call a bag that’s always in a hurry? A rush sack.
- Why did the bag of flour go to school? To become an upper crust.
- How do you make a bag giggle? Put a little tickle in it.
- Why was the plastic bag afraid of the dark? Because it was afraid of being re-bagged.
- What do you call a bag with a hole in it? A leaky sack.
- Why was the paper bag feeling insecure? Because it was afraid of getting wrinkled.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Why couldn’t the bag of candy get any sleep? Because it was full of insomnia.
- What do you call a bag that can swim? A hail sack.
- Why was the bag of chips unhappy? Because it was running low on self-esteem.
- What do you call a bag that’s always late? A procrastibag.
- Why was the shopping bag feeling lucky? Because it had a coupon.
- How do you make a bag float? You put it on a boat.
- Why did the backpack go to the doctor? Because it had a back pack.
- What did the pencil say when it was put in a bag? I’m feeling a little leaded down.
- Why was the paper bag nervous? Because it was about to be recycled.
- How do you make a bag smarter? You give it a bag of knowledge.
Bags, Bloopers, and Belly Laughs: Funny Quotes about Bags for Every Shopper
- “My purse is like a bottomless pit, I never know what I’ll dig up next.”
- “I always carry a big bag, because you never know when a spontaneous trip to Italy might happen.”
- “Forget diamonds, handbags are a girl’s best friend.”
- “I envy my purse, it always has everything together.”
- “My bag may not be designer, but it holds all my snacks, so who’s the real winner here?”
- “Life is short, buy the bag.”
- “I have a bag for every occasion, because you never know when you’ll need an emergency snack.”
- “The only thing I love more than my bag is finding a 20 dollar bill at the bottom of it.”
- “My bag is an organized mess, just like my life.”
- “I may not have my life together, but at least my bag does.”
- “They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a really nice bag, and that’s pretty close.”
- “My purse is like a black hole, things go in and never come out.”
- “I may not be saving the planet, but at least I’m saving plastic bags by carrying a reusable one.”
- “They say shoes can change your life, but have you ever tried carrying your entire life in a tote bag?”
- “My bag holds all my hopes and dreams, and a lot of lint too.”
- “They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but for me, it’s all about that perfect clutch.”
- “I’m not picky, I just have high standards for my handbags.”
- “My purse is like a mini pharmacy, I have a solution for every possible situation.”
- “Some people have a shoe addiction, I have a bag obsession, and I’m not sorry about it.”
- “My bag may not be designer, but at least it’s filled with snacks for every mood.”
Bag Your Laughs with These Hilarious Bag-Themed Proverbs!
- A bag in hand is worth two in the bush, but a bag with a zipper is worth its weight in gold.
- A wise man once said, “Don’t put all your eggs in one bag, especially if it’s a plastic grocery bag.”
- You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him carry your bag.
- A bag full of money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of purses to carry it in.
- It’s not the size of the bag that matters, it’s how much stuff you can fit in it.
- Out of sight, out of mind, but out of bags? Impossible.
- The early bird gets the worm, but the latecomer gets the last bag on sale.
- If at first you don’t succeed, just shove it in a bag and call it organized.
- When life gives you lemons, trade them for a designer bag and never look back.
- A rolling bag gathers no moss, but it does gather plenty of compliments.
- Keep your friends close and your favorite bag closer.
- It’s not hoarding if it all fits in one bag.
- A penny saved is a penny not spent on a new bag.
- A stitch in time saves nine, but a zipper in time saves your bag contents from spilling out.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but a beautiful bag is universally admired.
- Clothes may make the man, but a bag makes the outfit complete.
- The grass may be greener on the other side, but their bags are probably just as nice.
- Time heals all wounds, but retail therapy with a new bag heals them faster.
- Actions speak louder than words, but a stylish bag speaks volumes about your taste.
- It’s better to have loved and lost than to carry an ugly bag every day.
Bust a ‘Bag’ of Laughs with These Double Entendre Puns!
- “My bag is overflowing with snacks…but I always make room for more.”
- You can never have too many bags, unless you’re trying to catch the wind.
- “I’m always down for a good bagging…especially when it involves groceries.”
- “Purses may be small, but they hold a lot of baggage.”
- “I got a new bag for my birthday, it really ‘totes’ my style.”
- “I’m not trying to throw shade, I’m just ‘bagging’ my groceries.”
- “I like my bags like I like my jokes…full of questionable content.”
- “I’m just a girl, standing in front of her closet, asking it to ‘bag’ me up.”
- “The best part of traveling? The opportunity to buy new bags.”
- “I may be running late, but at least I have my trusty ‘bag of excuses’.”
- “If you can’t carry your own baggage, at least make sure it’s designer.”
- “Forget diamonds, a good bag is a girl’s best friend.”
- “I try to limit myself to only one bag per arm…but sometimes I fail miserably.”
- “I don’t always buy new bags, but when I do, I make sure they match my shoes.”
- “Sometimes I feel like a bag of chips…empty and overly salty.”
- “I’ve got a lot on my mind, and even more in my ‘bagg-age’.”
- “I may not have it all together, but at least my bag does.”
- “The key to a good day? A coffee in one hand and a sturdy bag in the other.”
- “They say ‘you are what you eat’, well I must be a grocery bag then.”
- “I may have a few quirks, but my bag collection is perfectly organized.”
Bagging the Fun: Recursive Puns about Bags
- What did the bag say to its son when he asked for a sibling? “Sorry, I’m just a one-bag family.”
- How do you fix a broken bag? With a needle and thread-bag.
- Did you hear about the bag that went to therapy? It was coping with some baggage.
- What kind of bag never gets lost? One that stays within its baggage limits.
- Why did the bag refuse to hold any more books? It was already overbooked.
- How did the cashier describe the shopper’s bulging bag? It was packed to the brim-bag.
- Why did the paper bag refuse to go outside? It was afraid of going bag-lit.
- What do you call a bag that tries to be funny? A bag of jokes.
- How does a bag store all its belongings? In its content-bag.
- Why was the bag afraid of getting wet? It didn’t want to become a soggy mess-bag.
- What do you call a bag that’s always complaining? A bag of grievances.
- How do you make a bag stand out in a crowd? Add some colorful em-bag-lishments.
- What do you call a group of bags? A bag-gage train.
- Why was the suitcase jealous of the backpack? It wished it could carry things on its back-bag..
- What did the bag say to the suitcase on their romantic picnic? You stole my heart-bag.
- Why was the trash bag feeling down? It felt disposable and replace-bag-able.
- How did the gym bag get so fit? By constantly lifting weights and staying in-shape-bag.
- What’s a bag’s favorite type of music? Hip hop-bag.
- Why was the plastic bag always worried? It was afraid of getting polybag-amist.
- What did the bag of chips say when it was opened? Finally, they un-bag-ged me.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Bag yourself a laugh with these hilarious knock-knock jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Bag of laughs coming through!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Bagging for a punchline!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Sorry, I must have left my brains in the bag!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Bag of tricks, that’s who!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Pizza delivery for Mr. Bag-It!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Is this a joke or a game of hide and seek with Mr. Bag-In?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Beg pardon, my friend. You seem to be knocking on my bag instead of my door!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Bag-lady here with a delivery of laughs!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Just kidding, it’s me, your favorite bag of laughs!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Bag-o-riffic jokes coming your way!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Baggie-pie, ready to hit you with another hilarious joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Is this a game of 20 questions or a knock-knock joke?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Bagging you to laugh at my joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Bag of chuckles ready to be unleashed!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Baggy jokes to make you giggle all day!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Bag of belly-aching laughs, that’s who!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Just me, your comedic bag of entertainment!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? I thought I heard someone knocking on my funny bone!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Bag-tastic jokes coming your way!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Bag lady with a bag full of jokes!
Don’t Be Left Hanging: Bag These Puns!
So there you have it, 180+ puns about bags that are truly “tote-ally” hilarious. Whether you’re a “bag-it and tag-it” kind of person or just love a good old-fashioned dad joke, these puns are sure to “bag” your approval. And if you still have room for more laughs, be sure to check out our other pun-tastic posts. Remember, a good pun is like a good bag – it never goes out of style. Until next time, keep on “carrying” on with the puns and never let anyone tell you to “tote” down your jokes. Happy bag-grounds!