Laugh Your Scrubs Off: 200+ Nurse Puns & Jokes!

Welcome to our list of the best nurse puns and jokes! Get ready to inject some humor into your day with these clever and positive puns about nurses. Whether you’re a healthcare professional looking for a good chuckle or a kid who loves a good joke, this collection has got you covered. So put on your scrubs and get ready to laugh your heart out with our funny and hilarious selection of nurse puns and jokes. Just be careful not to laugh so hard, you might need a nurse yourself!

Nursing a Laugh: Our Top Picks for Nurse Puns & Jokes

1. What did the nurse say when she found a kidney stone? Urine my way now!
2. Why did the nurse quit her job? She needed a dose of something new.
3. What do you call a sarcastic nurse? A sir-cutsy nurse!
4. Why did the doctor call the nurse a germ? Because she was infectious.
5. How does a nurse accessorize? With a stethoscope and scrubs of course!
6. What did the nurse say to the patient with the broken arm? Looks like you’re all snapped up!
7. Why did the nurse put on her glasses? She wanted to get some much-needed pupil-therapy.
8. What did the nurse say to the doctor who told a bad joke? You’ve got to be kidding-P!
9. Why was the nurse so good at math? Because she knew how to measure patients in cc’s.
10. What do nurses and cats have in common? They both know how to purr-fectly take care of you.
11. What did the nurse say to the patient who kept pulling out his IV? I’m going to put my foot down!
12. Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw blood, of course!
13. How does a nurse keep track of her patients? With a stethoscope and some pat-ience.
14. Why did the nurse need a vacation? She was feeling a bit under the weather.
15. Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work? Because she was looking for a little step-cure!
16. What did one nurse say to the other on their lunch break? Let’s order a few hot ciders, we need to get our enzymes up.
17. What’s a nurse’s favourite TV show? The Flash, because she’s always running around!
18. Why did the nurse bring a boat to work? To sail through the patients with ease!
19. What did the nurse say when she saw the patient knitting woolen socks? Looks like you’re bringing a little more warmth into this hospital!
20. Why did the nurse refuse to go near the patient with a broken neck? She didn’t want to get herself into a position!

Inject Some Laughter with These ‘Funny Nurse’ One-Liner Jokes & Puns!

1. Why was the nurse always so calm? Because she had a lot of patience.
2. What did the nurse say when she saw a bedpan? Oh, sheet!
3. Why did the nurse go to art school? Because she wanted to draw blood.
4. How does a cannibal nurse start a conversation? “So, who’s your next meal?”
5. What did the nurse say to the patient with a broken arm? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.”
6. Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? In case she needed to draw blood.
7. What do you call a nurse who works in the delivery room? A midwife crisis.
8. What do you call a nurse with a sense of humor? An ICU… Intensive Chuckle Unit!
9. Why did the nurse keep hitting herself on the head with a thermometer? Because she wanted to get a headache.
10. What do you call a nurse who loves routine? Regular nurse.
11. Why did the patient bring a ladder to the hospital? In case he needed a second opinion.
12. How do you know a nurse is having a bad day? She already checked your vitals three times in the past five minutes.
13. What did the nurse say when the doctor asked for a urine sample? “Here, let me check my pee-mail.”
14. What do you call a nurse who can’t add up medications correctly? A pill therapist.
15. Why do nurses make great politicians? Because they know how to administer shots and take temperatures.
16. What do you call a group of nurses playing hide and seek? A game of hide and scrub.
17. Why was the nurse always so serious? Because she had to be stern-o-scopy.
18. What did one blood bag say to the other? “I can’t seem to stop thinking about you, you complete me.”
19. Why did the nurse put pepper on the patient’s bandage? Because they had a pepperoni.
20. What did the nurse say when the patient asked for a bedpan? “Sorry, we’re all out of pans. Can I interest you in a pot?”

Nursing: Where laughter is the best medicine – Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Nurses

1. A nurse’s job is to save lives, but sometimes we just need to save our own sanity.
2. A good nurse knows how to make the medicine go down, and then throw it back up when no one’s looking.
3. Nurses may be angels in disguise, but they’ll still give you a shot in the behind if you need it.
4. Nurses have a special kind of patience – the kind that can handle cranky doctors, needy patients, and malfunctioning equipment all in one shift.
5. A nurse’s favorite pastime: watching patients try to wrangle their hospital gowns while maintaining their dignity.
6. Rain, snow, hail – nothing stops a nurse from making their rounds. It’s like the postal service, but with more bodily fluids.
7. They say laughter is the best medicine, but a good nurse knows that a little morphine does the trick too.
8. A nurse’s brain is like a computer – full of information and always ready for a system overload.
9. Nurses can handle any kind of bodily fluid – except maybe glitter. That stuff gets everywhere.
10. If you want to know what a nurse is really thinking, just ask them after a double shift.
11. You can’t spell “healthcare” without “nurse”, or without a really confused patient trying to read the word backwards.
12. Nurses are like unicorns – rare, magical, and probably sitting at the nurses’ station charging their phone.
13. Who needs caffeine when you have a nurse on duty? They could power a small country with their energy.
14. A nurse’s idea of a romantic dinner is a hot meal they can eat without leaving their patient’s bedside.
15. The key to being a successful nurse: caffeine, compassion, and a pocket full of snacks.
16. Nurses know the real meaning of the phrase “working overtime” – after all, 12-hour shifts just don’t seem long enough.
17. A good nurse knows that “clean” is a relative term in a hospital. Just don’t tell the patients.
18. Some people collect baseball cards, others collect stamps – nurses collect stories about the craziest patients they’ve ever had.
19. Nurses can handle anything – except maybe when a patient asks them to take a quick look at a rash. Then all bets are off.
20. A nurse’s version of “trust exercise”: closing your eyes and letting a coworker draw your blood. It builds teamwork, right?

Get Your Daily Dose of Laughter: QnA Jokes & Puns about Nurses

1. Q: What do you call a zombie nurse? A: A dead-icated caregiver.
2. Q: Why did the nurse go to art school? A: To learn how to draw blood.
3. Q: What do you call a nurse who works on a busy unit? A: A multi-tasking medication magician.
4. Q: How does a nurse greet her patients? A: With a bedside manner.
5. Q: What kind of tea do nurses drink? A: Medicinal tea.
6. Q: Why don’t nurses make good DJs? A: Because they can never find a vein.
7. Q: What’s a nurse’s favorite type of music? A: Chart-topping charts.
8. Q: How can you tell a nurse is having a bad day? A: They have a thermometer up their butt.
9. Q: Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? A: In case she needed to draw some blood.
10. Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One, but they have to check the patient’s vitals first.
11. Q: What did the nurse say when she found out she worked in a pediatrics unit? A: “Oh, for the love of mini scrubs!”
12. Q: Why was the nurse always so calm during chaotic shifts? A: They had plenty of patience.
13. Q: What kind of car does a nurse drive? A: A Prius, because it’s gentler on the patients.
14. Q: Why do nurses make good comedians? A: They have a lot of patience, and they know how to deliver a punch line.
15. Q: What did the doctor say when a nurse told him he had a call on hold? A: “Tell them I’ll be right with ya!”
16. Q: Why did the nurse refuse to change the patient’s dirty linens? A: Because it was a dirty job, and she didn’t want to do it.
17. Q: Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work? A: To administer higher doses.
18. Q: How does a nurse greet a patient with a broken hip? A: With a crutch and a smile.
19. Q: How can you tell a nurse is a night owl? A: She fills in for vampire shifts.
20. Q: Why don’t nurses have any problems with ghosts? A: Because they scare the spirits away with their stethoscopes.

Health and Humor: Dad Jokes and Puns About Nurses!

1. “Why did the nurse go to art school? She wanted to learn how to give masterful shots!”
2. “Did you hear about the constipated nurse? She finally passed her patients with flying colors.”
3. “Why did the nurse bring red and blue markers to work? To take patients’ blood pressure!”
4. “What do you call a nurse who works night shifts? A graveyard shift keeper.”
5. “How does a nurse stay cool during a busy shift? She sets her thermometer to room temperature.”
6. “Why did the nurse refuse to give the patient medication after 8 pm? She didn’t want to disturb their beauty sleep.”
7. “Did you hear about the nurse who was always running behind schedule? She could never catch up with all her patients.”
8. “Why did the doctor send the nurse to art school? She had a knack for drawing blood.”
9. “Why did the nurse refuse to work in the nursery? She didn’t want to deal with all the crying babies.”
10. “What do you call a group of tired nurses? A stitch and bitch session.”
11. “Why did the nurse need a ladder at work? To reach new heights in her career.”
12. “Why did the nurse cross the road? To get to the ER on the other side.”
13. “How do you know when a nurse is having a bad day? It’s written all over her face shield.”
14. “Why did the nurse refuse to work in the delivery room? She couldn’t handle all the labor pains.”
15. “What did the nurse say when she saw her ex-boyfriend in the hospital? Looks like he finally caught what he was looking for.”
16. “Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work? She needed to stir some patients’ vital signs.”
17. “What’s a nurse’s favorite type of party? A blood drive, of course.”
18. “Why did the nurse set her clock back an hour at work? She needed to check on her patients before she could clock out.”
19. “Did you hear about the nurse who won the employee of the month award? She was just needled and pricked for success.”
20. “Why did the nurse quit her job at the mental institution? She was sick of the psych patients constantly giving her the needle.”

Nursing the Laughs: Playing with Double Entendres Puns for Nurses

1. “I specialize in giving shots…with needles, that is!”
2. “I always have a pulse…on my patients, that is.”
3. “I never miss a beat…unless it’s on the heart monitor.”
4. “I can handle a lot of pressure…especially when taking blood.”
5. “I love making rounds…but not the kind in a martini glass.”
6. “I’m always on call…for my patients, that is.”
7. “I know all the ins and outs…of the human body, of course.”
8. “Supplies? I’ve got them in the bag…and the medicine cabinet, and the storage closet…”
9. “I see you have a fever…let me take your temperature and mine.”
10. “Just call me a multitasker…I can change a bedpan and administer medication at the same time.”
11. “I have a knack for doing things with gloves on…both medical and winter ones.”
12. “I love seeing my patients improve…except when it’s their blood pressure.”
13. “I’m an expert at handling difficult patients…and IV poles.”
14. “I may not be a superhero…but I can still save lives.”
15. “I’m a pro at handling emergencies…and paperwork.”
16. “I have a sixth sense when it comes to detecting illnesses…and sarcastic patients.”
17. “I’m always up for a good challenge…unless it’s untangling an IV line.”
18. “It’s all about the bedside manner…especially when dealing with cranky patients.”
19. “I may not have superpowers…but I can still make your wounds heal faster.”
20. “Being a nurse is like being a detective…except I’m always looking for symptoms instead of suspects.”

Stethoscope Wordplay: Recursive Puns about Nurse!

1. Why did the nurse need a ladder? To reach the high fever pitch.
2. Did you hear about the nurse who quit her job? She just couldn’t stomach it anymore.
3. What did the patient say when the nurse asked how they were feeling? “Phlebotomist-ble.”
4. If a nurse disagrees with the doctor, is it a bad case of insubordina-syringe?
5. Why did the nurse put a bandage on the computer? Because it had a virus.
6. How many nurses does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they’ll just put out a new policy on darkness.
7. What did the nurse say to the doctor who kept prescribing wrong medications? “Doc, that’s a pill-dozer.”
8. Why was the nurse always calm and collected? She had good narcotics-know-how.
9. Did you hear about the nurse who married a professional chef? Their wedding cake was a real hemo-glober.
10. How does a nurse fix a broken bone? With a little cast-iron skillet.
11. What did the doctor say when the nurse asked about their new patient who was always late? “They have chroni-kill-tardiness.”
12. Why did the nurse ask the patient about their favorite “Grey’s Anatomy” character? She wanted to give them a Mc-dreamy.
13. What’s a nurse’s favorite type of music? Operat-ion.
14. How does a nurse communicate with deaf patients? With sign in-form-ation.
15. Why was the nurse always cold? She had a vasode-friend-a.
16. What’s a nurse’s favorite book genre? Historical rectan-g-health.
17. What did the patient say when the nurse gave them an injection? “Thanks for the pokes-itive vibes.”
18. Why was the nurse always sneezing? She had a bad case of pollen-drama.
19. What’s a nurse’s favorite type of chocolate? Adrena-line.
20. How does a nurse stay organized? With a little strepto-planner.

Nurse Your Laughter with these Hilarious ‘Nurse’ Malapropisms!

1. “I was so storked to see the baby!” – Instead of “stoked”
2. “I’ll just grab the confine mints for the patient.” – Instead of “compliments”
3. “Don’t worry, I’ll just apply some ant acid to that burn.” – Instead of “antiseptic”
4. “I have a strange feeling in my bladder badge.” – Instead of “bladder bag”
5. “I need a mental nap after that shift.” – Instead of “mental break”
6. “I think we need to dial down the hiss-teria in this room.” – Instead of “hysteria”
7. “You’ll feel better once you take your foot rain.” – Instead of “foot pain”
8. “Looks like we’ve got a case of the sniffles on our hamster ward.” – Instead of “sinus infection” and “pediatric ward”
9. “Let me check your blip pressure.” – Instead of “blood pressure”
10. “I’m just going to take your cash-lab values.” – Instead of “labs”
11. “I’ll be back after I get my sock lunch.” – Instead of “lunch break”
12. “We need to keep the patient in a frog pose position.” – Instead of “prone”
13. “I have a feeling this patient is being a pain in the heart.” – Instead of “pain in the butt”
14. “I’ll just give you a shot of vaccine later.” – Instead of “anesthetic”
15. “I need to check your tomb temperature.” – Instead of “room temperature”
16. “I’ll be right there, I’m just finishing up this indigestion.” – Instead of “intubation”
17. “We need to assess this patient’s whore coat.” – Instead of “heart rate”
18. “I’ll just put some pita beads on your medicine.” – Instead of “nasal spray”
19. “I think this patient needs some morality.” – Instead of “motility”
20. “Before I leave, I’ll just fluff up your kill gown.” – Instead of “hospital gown”

Nurse, I need to take your pulse, ” said Tom swiftly, checking for any signs of love.

1. “I can’t take your temperature,” said the feverish nurse, heatedly.
2. “This IV is dripping too slowly,” said the impatient nurse, veinly.
3. “I’m tired of dealing with difficult patients,” said the exhausted nurse, wearily.
4. “You have a heart condition?,” asked the curious nurse, beatlessly.
5. “I forgot to label the specimen,” said the forgetful nurse, carelessly.
6. “I just finished my shift,” said the tired nurse, nightmarishly.
7. “I’ll have to check your blood pressure again,” said the doubtful nurse, pressure-ly.
8. “This patient never listens to my advice,” said the frustrated nurse, defiantly.
9. “I don’t see any signs of improvement,” said the blunt nurse, heartlessly.
10. “I love working in the ER,” said the enthusiastic nurse, pumpedly.
11. “I’m not a fan of doing paperwork,” said the paperless nurse, pen-lessly.
12. “This patient needs a dose of tough love,” said the stern nurse, affectionately.
13. “I just got honked at in the hospital parking lot,” said the startled nurse, car-lessly.
14. “I need to restock the medical supplies,” said the resourceful nurse, ingeniously.
15. “I can’t believe how packed the waiting room is,” said the overwhelmed nurse, crowdedly.
16. “I’m sorry, your loved one didn’t make it,” said the compassionate nurse, tearfully.
17. “I’m not a fan of working double shifts,” said the exhausted nurse, sleeplessly.
18. “I can’t find the doctor anywhere,” said the lost nurse, aimlessly.
19. “I have to fix this jammed machine again,” said the handy nurse, band-aidedly.
20. “I need to take a break after dealing with so many germs,” said the germaphobe nurse, hand-sanitizingly.

Nailing Nurse’s Spoonerisms: Funnily Flipping Phrases!

1. Purse Nurse
2. Curse Nurse
3. Verse Nurse
4. Worse Nurse
5. Diverse Nurse
6. Herd Nurse
7. Stressed Nurse
8. Fierce Nurse
9. Thirsty Nurse
10. Church Nurse
11. Nurse Purdy
12. Nurse Noodle
13. Nurse Better
14. Nurse Tickle
15. Nurse Fanny
16. Nurse Murse
17. Nurse Giddy
18. Nurse Plunger
19. Nurse Flicker
20. Nurse Shmurse

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse puns that are guaranteed to make you feel better!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurse-tastic to meet you!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurse your way to better health!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses are the heart and soul of medicine.
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nursing is a work of heart.
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses make everything all better.
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses have a prescription for laughter and fun.
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nursing: the art of caring and science of healing.
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses are the unsung heroes of the hospital.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses rock!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses know how to make it all better.
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses are the difference between sick and healthy.
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses are the glue that holds the healthcare system together.
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nursing: a thankless job with endless rewards.
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses are the ultimate multitaskers.
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses have a cure for the blues.
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses have a heart of gold.
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses: the real life superheroes.
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses give medication, but laughter is the best medicine.
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses make the world a better place, one patient at a time.
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurses: caring and compassionate, 24/7.

Wrapping Up: Putting the Fun in Nursing

And that, my friends, wraps up our pun-tastic journey of 200+ jokes about nurses. We hope you had a laugh and maybe even learned a thing or two about the demanding and hilarious world of nursing. If you’re craving more side-splitting humor, be sure to check out our other posts on jokes and puns. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, but the real heroes are the nurses who keep us all healthy and happy. Thanks for the giggles!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

Facebook Pinterest Threads X (Twitter) YouTube