Beam Me Up with These 170+ Hilarious Star Trek Jokes and Puns!

Are you ready to explore the final frontier of humor with the best Star Trek jokes around? Look no further, young padawans, for we have compiled a list of clever puns about Star Trek that is sure to transport you to a galaxy of laughter. From Captain Kirk’s bravado to Spock’s endless logic, these jokes are perfect for kids and adults alike. So put on your Vulcan ears and get ready for a positively hilarious journey through the universe of funny with our list of Star Trek puns. Engage!

Beaming Up Laughs: Our Favorite ‘Star Trek’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

1. How does a Vulcan like his toast? “Sarek,” with a side of “Spockled eggs.”
2. What do you call a Klingon’s pet cat? A “Furryon.”
3. Why did the Borg stop playing video games? Because they always “Assimilate the high score.”
4. What do you call a drunk Ferengi? A “Quark mess.”
5. Why did the Romulan ghost go to the psychiatrist? To get “telepathic therapy.”
6. How does a Cardassian make tea? They “Eliminate the bags.”
7. Why did Dax get into trouble at the bachelorette party? She kept suggesting that they play “Spin the Wormhole.”
8. What did O’Brien say when Bashir asked him to join the gym? “Chief O’Brien to Bodily Development center, Energize!”
9. Why did Sisko and Odo never go on road trips together? Because they couldn’t “Travel-jointly.”
10. What do you call a Vulcan who has a green thumb? A “Planetary Horticulturist.”
11. Why did Crusher and Troi start a baking business? Because they heard that they could make “Riker pies.”
12. How do you know when Worf is lying? When he says he’s “Klingon a new planet.”
13. Why did the Enterprise’s toilet malfunction? Because someone used it after consuming “Rigelian ale.”
14. What did Janeway say when Paris asked her if she wanted to play a game? “I’ve had enough ‘Voyager’ encounters for one day.”
15. Why did Data change his name to Lore for a day? He wanted to see how many puns he could make with “Android.”
16. What did the Tribble say when it saw Spock’s eyebrows? “I’ll take two, I need them for my costume party.”

Beam up some laughs with these funny ‘Star Trek’ one-liner jokes

1. Why did the Borg stop using the bathroom? Because resistance is fertile.
2. Why did Worf join Starfleet? To boldly go where no Klingon has gone before… the holodeck.
3. What did Kirk say when he discovered coffee? Beam me up, Scotty, this stuff is out of this world!
4. Why did Picard’s bartender quit? He couldn’t handle the Earl Grey.
5. What does a Vulcan say when they get a cold? I have a fever… and the only prescription is more logic.
6. How does a Romulan cut their pizza? With their disruptor blade.
7. Why doesn’t Data have a girlfriend? He’s too busy processing binary code and getting upgraded to the latest operating system.
8. What did the doctor prescribe for Odo’s constipation? A shapeshifting laxative.
9. How does a Ferengi propose marriage? With a prenup in one hand and a latinum bar in the other.
10. Why did the Borg throw a party? Because assimilation is always more fun with friends.
11. What do you call a Vulcan who’s also an author? A Spock-wordsmith.
12. How many Borg does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just assimilate all the other light fixtures.
13. What’s Worf’s favorite type of music? Klingon karaoke.
14. Why did Seven of Nine change her name to Six of Eight? She wanted to seem more human.
15. How does a Klingon make soup? Blood, sweat, and Tears of the Enemies.
16. Why did the Enterprise crew throw a surprise birthday party for Q? Because he could snap his fingers and make them do it anyway.
17. What did Scotty say when the transporter malfunctioned and turned him into a lobster? I cannae change the laws of crustacean.

Boldly Goof with These QnA Jokes & Puns about Star Trek

1. Q: Why did the Klingon captain always bring a chicken to battle? A: Because he heard that in space, no one can hear birds of prey!
2. Q: Why did Captain Kirk refuse to eat the replicator’s scrambled eggs? A: Because he preferred them poached-on-a-planet.
3. Q: How did the Enterprise fix a malfunctioning door? A: They used the treknical support.
4. Q: How does a Vulcan apologize? A: With a sincere Spockology.
5. Q: What did Captain Picard say when his barber accidentally gave him a bad haircut? A: “Make it so, Number One…to fix this disaster!”
6. Q: Why do the Borg throw great parties? A: Because they always have an assimilation station!
7. Q: How many Romulans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two – one to do it and one to plot their revenge against the Federation.
8. Q: What do you call a group of Trekkies waiting for a convention to start? A: A Starfleet-in-line.
9. Q: What did the Vulcan say to the bartender? A: “I’ll have a mind melding martini, please.”
10. Q: What was Mr. Spock’s favorite type of music? A: Live long and prog rock!
11. Q: Why did Dr. McCoy have trouble finding a good sandwich on the Enterprise? A: Because everything came with too much Klingon!
12. Q: Why did Worf always bring his pet targ to work? A: To lure away any tribbles that might try to infest the ship.
13. Q: What’s the difference between a Ferengi and a Klingon? A: One makes deals, the other makes war.
14. Q: How many Redshirts does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None – they always end up dying in the process.
15. Q: Why did the Borg keep taking breaks while assimilating new species? A: Because they needed to recharge with some Resistance-is-Futile-yoga.
16. Q: What did Spock say when he saw the size of the universe? A: “Fascinating. It’s bigger on the inside.”
17. Q: Why did the Starfleet crew have to use a shuttlecraft to get to the other side of the Enterprise? A: Because the teleporter was going through a mid-life crisis and needed some time alone.

Beam me up some laughs: Dad Jokes about Star Trek

1. Did you hear about the Klingon who couldn’t find his way home? He was lost in space, but then he stumbled upon a star and said, “I guess you could say I finally found my guiding light!”
2. What did Mr. Spock say when he discovered his new favorite dish? “It’s a vulcanized meat. Fascinating.”
3. Why did the Romulan contractor hire a Ferengi? Because he knew he would get a good deal, as long as he kept his ear to the ground.
4. Why is it hard for Cardassians to tell jokes? Because they have no sense of humor, just a strong sense of duty.
5. How many Borg does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just assimilate the room and make everything efficient.
6. How do you know when a Ferengi is lying? His lips are moving.
7. Why did the Klingon go on a diet? Because he wanted to fit into his battle armor without it looking like stretchy yoga pants.
8. Why does Worf hate roller coasters? Because they’re too Klingon-a-brained thing to do.
9. How many Starfleet officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just submit a maintenance request and wait for engineering to do it.
10. What does Captain Picard say when his crew members refuse to beam down on an away mission? “I am the one who says engage, not you!”
11. Why don’t Vulcans eat apples? Because they prefer logic-driven data consumption.
12. What did Captain Kirk say when he ran out of coffee on a deep space mission? “Where’s that replicator when you need it?”
13. Why don’t Ferengis invest in bitcoin? Because they already have enough gold-pressed latinum.
14. Why did the Enterprise cross the galaxy? To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
15. What do you call a Vulcan who loves to dance? A logic-stepper.
16. Why was the Klingon’s apple juice always bitter? Because it was filled with core values.
17. What did the Borg queen say to her toddler? “You will need to upgrade if you want to get good grades in assimilation class!”

Boldly Joking Where No Kid Has Joked Before: Star Trek Puns & Jokes for Kids

1. What do you call a Vulcan who loves to ride horses? A Spock-tracker!
2. How do you know if a Klingon is telling the truth? They’ll swear on their honor, and you can take their Worf for it!
3. Why did the Borg give up on their diet? Because resistance was futile!
4. Why did the Romulan cross the road? To get to the Neutral Zone!
5. What did Captain Kirk say when he ran out of coffee on the Enterprise? “This is a disasterJAvaJavA!”
6. Why did the Doctor prescribe a Klingon some prune juice? Because they were feeling a little con-stirrated!
7. How do Ferengi communicate with each other at long distances? They use Q-tipping!
8. Why was Data banned from playing poker with the crew? Because he always had the chip on his shoulder!
9. What does Sulu use to cut his hair? Phaser blades!
10. Why did the Starfleet crew have a potluck on the Enterprise? Because they wanted to boldly go where no buffet had gone before!
11. How does Lt. Uhura like her coffee? With plenty of Spock-al!
12. Why did the Tribble go to the candy store? To get some Chew-bacca!
13. What do you call a Klingon who becomes a comedian? A Joke’lah!
14. How did Captain Picard save money on his utility bill? He turned off the Worf-lights!
15. Why did Worf have a hard time eating his breakfast? Because the toast was too soft, of course!
16. What does Geordi La Forge say when he stubs his toe? “Oh, ENGAGE!”
17. Why was the Vulcan meditation club always the most popular on the Enterprise? Because they always had the best mind-melds!

Beam in Some Laughter with these Hilarious Quotes about Star Trek

1. “I tried to join Starfleet, but they told me my red shirt was too ripe for sacrifice.”
2. “Beam me up, Scotty… these Romulans are giving me the creeps.”
3. “I boldly went where no one had gone before… and ended up in the Delta Quadrant at a Chuck E. Cheese’s.”
4. “I don’t always speak Klingon, but when I do, no one understands me.”
5. “I asked Spock if he ever gets emotional. He replied with a raised eyebrow.”
6. “Why is it that every time Captain Kirk falls in love, a planet explodes?”
7. “I don’t need a starship, I have Amazon Prime.”
8. “I don’t always trust Ferengi, but when I do, I have a latinum bar to sell them.”
9. “Q: Why did the Vulcan go insane? A: It was his human half.”
10. “I don’t always use a phaser, but when I do, it’s set to stun.”
11. “Dear Borg, I don’t want to be assimilated. Sincerely, my individuality.”
12. “I’m not saying I’m a Star Trek nerd, but I do know the airspeed velocity of an unladen Romulan.”
13. “Why did the chicken cross the galaxy? To get away from the Terran Empire.”
14. “Q: How many Shakespeares does it take to write a Klingon play? A: Just one, but he has to translate everything into Klingon.”
15. “I don’t always speak in metaphors, but when I do, I make sure to use plenty of Shakespearian language.”
16. “Red alert! There’s a tribble in my shoe!”
17. “I heard Klingons don’t like to hug, but I bet they’d make an exception for Worf in his teddy bear suit.”

Beam me up, Scotty! Hilarious Insights about the World of ‘Star Trek’

1. “Live long and prosper, but be sure to bring plenty of snacks for the journey.”
2. “In space, no one can hear you scream, but they can definitely hear your cheesy puns.”
3. “A Klingon never reveals his love for tribbles.”
4. “Boldly go where no one has gone before, but always remember to pack a clean pair of socks.”
5. “The Prime Directive applies to relationships too – don’t interfere, even if your friend is dating a Romulan.”
6. “Keep your phasers set to stun, but your humor settings on high.”
7. “Resistance is futile, but trying to resist a slice of pizza is just cruel.”
8. “Q may be all-powerful, but he still can’t change a flat tire.”
9. “Logic may dictate the needs of the many, but my cravings for ice cream are non-negotiable.”
10. “To seek out new life and new civilizations, start by introducing yourself at the neighborhood block party.”
11. “Even a Vulcan can appreciate a good dad joke.”
12. “Borg assimilation may be seamless, but have you ever tried parallel parking a cube?”
13. “Happiness is a warm tribble…and a full tank of dilithium crystals.”
14. “To boldly go where no man has gone before, get yourself a reliable GPS system.”
15. “If at first you don’t succeed, try diplomacy…and if that doesn’t work, set your phaser to ‘annoying noise’.”
16. “Being stranded on a deserted planet is no excuse for skipping leg day.”

Boldly Go into Humor Territory with These ‘Star Trek’ Double Entendres Puns

1. “I must be a red shirt, because my love life keeps getting sacrificed.”
2. “The crew of the USS Enterprise always ends up going where no man has gone before…especially in the holodeck.”
3. “Beam me up, Scotty…to the bedroom!”
4. “I’m feeling very Pon Farr right now…any volunteers?”
5. “Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
6. “May the force be with you…oh wait, wrong franchise.”
7. “Spock has some serious Vulcan stamina.”
8. “If kissing you is wrong, I don’t want to be Riker.”
9. “I knew I should have worn my Starfleet uniform to this costume party, now I’m just a man in a Star Trek t-shirt.”
10. “Resistance is futile…when it comes to your charm.”
11. “I’d let Khan rule over me any day…in the bedroom, that is.”
12. “I’d let you explore my final frontier any time.”
13. “It’s not logical, but I find you highly attractive.”
14. “Q, let’s make some magic happen in the Q Continuum…if you know what I mean.”
15. “Forget the Prime Directive, let’s make out.”
16. “I’d like to go on a five-year mission with you…to your bedroom.”

Boldly Laughing: Recursive Puns about Star Trek’s Infinite Wit

1. ) Why was Spock always so logical? Because he didn’t want to fall prey to the “Vulcan infinite loop of emotion.”
2. ) Why did the Enterprise crew switch to a plant-based diet? To avoid being caught in a “Klingon recursive digestion trap.”
3. ) What do you call a Romulan who can’t stop telling jokes? A “Repetitive Romulan.”
4. ) How does the Borg Queen keep her hive mind in check? With a “recursive assimilation algorithm.”
5. ) How does Data like his coffee? With a touch of “re-engineered molecular caffeine.”
6. ) What’s the fastest way to get from Earth to the Delta Quadrant? “Warp squared, of course!”
7. ) Why did the Klingons never understand the concept of recursion? Because they believe in “kill and conquer, not copy and repeat.”
8. ) Why is Worf always on edge during shuttle rides? He’s afraid of getting caught in a “loop de Troi.”
9. ) Why did the temporal anomaly want to join Starfleet? To get a “chronological commission.”
10. ) What do you call a group of Tribbles living in a Mobius strip? A “never-ending fluff loop.”
11. ) How does Scotty always find a solution to engineering problems? He just keeps “re-dilithiumizing the dilithium crystal.”
12. ) Why did the Ferengi buy a circular table? To have “endless negotiations.”
13. ) What did Bones say when he found himself trapped in a time loop on the Enterprise? “Damn it Jim, I’m a doctor, not a temporal physicist!”
14. ) Why did Q want to be a stand-up comedian? He loved to “alternate between serious and sarcastic punchlines.”
15. ) How does Captain Picard keep track of all the parallel universes he’s visited? With a “multiverse journal.”

Boldly Goofing: Hilarious ‘Star Trek’ Malapropisms

1. “I have a fever and the only prescription is more Klingon cowbell.”
2. “I’m feeling a bit Kirk-headed today.”
3. “I can’t wait to try the Vulcan mind mop.”
4. “I’m so hungry, I could eat a whole bowl of Spockcorn.”
5. “I’m going to beam down to the planet and pick some Dilithium crystals.”
6. “Live long and prosper and don’t forget to floss between your earlobes.”
7. “I’m just a simple country doctor, not a rocket surgeon.”
8. “To boldly go where no one has gone before…to the bathroom…because I have to pee.”
9. “What we need is a good old-fashioned phaser fight.”
10. “My favorite episodes are the ones with the Borgles.”
11. “Red Alert! Someone forgot to refill the coffee replicator.”
12. “I hope someday we can achieve world peace through the power of tribble hugs.”
13. “Engage the warp noodles, Mr. Sulu.”
14. “Captain, I think I just discovered a new form of life…it’s called a pigeon.”
15. “I am Locutus of Borgles, resistance is fruity pebbles…I mean futile.”
16. “I’m having a hard time understanding the Ferengi language, it’s so…fermented.”
17. “Make it so, Number One…because I’m currently indisposed.”

Beam Up the Fun with ‘Star Trek’ Spoonerisms Galore!

1. “Scorn base the ammunings, Mr. Spock”
2. “Klinging on to the edge of the chair”
3. “Captain Jenway of the Starship Entreprise”
4. “Set neutralized for stun, Scotty”
5. “Beam me up, reverse!”
6. “Live long and prosper your feline friends”
7. “Kirk the Booty, I’m giving her all she’s got!”
8. “Infinite Voyage: the final episodes”
9. “The prime dreaded broadcast”
10. “Doctor kones, please report to the afterlife room”
11. “For heaven sake, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a rocket scientist!”
12. “Spock, have you been reading my dementia?”
13. “U.S.S. Incomprehensible, traveling at maximum general liability”
14. “Ach! My sworn foe!” (instead of “Ah! My sword arm!”)
15. “Red shirt supremacy, I say!” (instead of “Red shirt security, I assure!”)
16. “The Omega Bones” (instead of “The Omega Force”)

Beam in Some Laughs with these Knock-knock Jokes (Knock, knock. Who’s there?) about Star Trek

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? USS Enterprise. USS Enterprise who? USS Enterprise with a malfunctioning warp drive, can we borrow some dilithium crystals?
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Klingon. Klingon who? Klingon me, Captain! I’m a little behind schedule on my invasion of the Federation.
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Romulan. Romulan who? Romulan Empire is hiring new spies, are you interested in applying?
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vulcan. Vulcan who? Vulcan be your friend, just let me finish my meditation first.
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Borg. Borg who? Borg, resistance is futile, please open the door.
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ferengi. Ferengi who? Ferengi this is a joke, but seriously, can I interest you in some latinum?
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Trill. Trill who? Trill baby trill, let’s party it up on Risa!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kobayashi. Kobayashi who? Kobayashi Maru, I’ve come to reprogram the simulation.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Andorian. Andorian who? Andorian to get out of this cold weather, can we beam aboard your ship?
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kirk. Kirk who? Kirk out! The red shirt always dies first.
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bones. Bones who? Bones heal, pain is temporary, but jokes are forever.
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Holodeck. Holodeck who? Holodeck malfunction, I’m trapped in this wild west program!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Space. Space who? Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Q. Q who? Q who’s responsible for this mess on my ship?
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cardassian. Cardassian who? Cardassian spy! Quick, activate the cloaking device!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bajoran. Bajoran who? Bajoran rhymes with Corbomite, which means I’m bluffing, will you please lower your shields now?
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Worf. Worf who? Worf was that sound? I think we just hit a space anomaly.

Beaming Up The Puns: A Stellar Conclusion!

As Captain Kirk once said, “To boldly go where no man has gone before” – and with these 170+ hilarious Star Trek puns, we definitely took that mission to new comedic heights! But don’t beam up yet, Trekkies, there are plenty more puns and jokes to explore in our other related posts. Resistance is futile. Live long and laugh on!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

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