Lighten Up: 180+ Smoking Jokes & Puns for a Punny Time

Looking for the best source of humor? Well, you’re in luck, because we’ve got a smoking hot collection of puns and jokes that will leave you in fits of laughter! This list of clever and positive puns about smoking is perfect for kids (don’t worry, they’re all smoke-free!) Whether you’re a seasoned comedian or just looking for a good laugh, we’ve got you covered. Just sit back, relax, and prepare to inhale some hilarious smoke-themed jokes!

Light Up Your Sense of Humor with these ‘Smoking’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

1. “Why did the cigarette cross the road? To get to the ashtray on the other side.”
2. “I quit smoking for my New Year’s resolution. Turns out, it was just a pack of lies.”
3. “My doctor told me to cut back on smoking. So now I only smoke on days that end in ‘y’.”
4. “I can resist anything except temptation…and the urge to light up a cigarette.”
5. “What do you call a group of chain smokers? A nicotine flock.”
6. “I’m not addicted to smoking, I just really enjoy the taste of cancer sticks.”
7. “How do you know when a smoker is lying? Their pants are on fire.”
8. “I asked my doctor if smoking would shorten my lifespan. He said, ‘Not at all. It just feels like it.'”
9. “Why did the smoker bring a ladder to the party? He wanted to be a high-risk taker.”
10. “Smoking is like a relationship: It’s toxic, expensive, and it might kill you.”
11. “I used to think cigarettes were bad for me, but now I realize it’s the lack of exercise from constantly lighting up that’s the real danger.”
12. “Why did the cigarette go to the doctor? It was feeling smoked out.”
13. “How do you turn a smoker into a non-smoker? Put them on fire.”
14. “What did the smoker say when asked to quit? ‘I’ll ash-ess the situation and get back to you.'”
15. “Smoking isn’t my only bad habit. I also have a tendency to light the wrong end of my cigar.”
16. “What do you call a cigarette rolling down a hill? A Marlboro tumble.”
17. “I started smoking at the age of 13. Now I’m 26 and I’m glad I’ve grown out of such childish habits. I smoke at least twice a day now!”
18. “Why did the cigarette go on a diet? Because it didn’t want to burst into flames.”
19. “I switched to vaping to be healthier. Now I can tell people I quit smoking without mentioning my nicotine addiction.”
20. “What did the nicotine patch say to the smoker? Stick with me, kid, and you’ll be clean in no time.”

Blow your mind with these “funny smoking” one-liners that’ll have you rolling with laughter!

1. I tried to quit smoking but it was a drag.
2. I’m not addicted to cigarettes, I just like the way they make me look cool.
3. Smokers never die, they just burn out.
4. My doctor told me to cut back on smoking…so I switched to cigars.
5. The best part of smoking is blowing smoke rings…the worst part is inhaling them.
6. I don’t know why people say smoking is bad for you…I’ve never been healthier since I started.
7. I bought a pack of cigarettes, but it was a real cigarette disappointment.
8. I know smoking is bad for my health, but it’s good for my stress levels.
9. Quitting smoking is easy, I’ve done it a hundred times.
10. I asked my doctor for a cigarette, but he said to give my lungs a break.
11. I don’t always smoke, but when I do, I smoke like a chimney.
12. People always tell me to quit smoking, but I’m not a quitter.
13. Smoking may kill you, but it’ll make a great entrance at your funeral.
14. Smoking is the leading cause of statistics.
15. They say cigarette smoke lingers, but I never see it holding onto anything.
16. The real reason I smoke is to keep the tobacco companies in business.
17. I’ll quit smoking when unicorns start blowing rainbow smoke rings.
18. My doctor told me to stop smoking, but he never said anything about vaping.
19. I may be killing myself slowly, but at least I’m going out in style.
20. I don’t smoke because I’m cool, I’m cool because I smoke…wait, that didn’t come out right.

Clearing the Haze: QnA Jokes & Puns about Smoking

1. Q: Why did the chimney ask the cigarette for a light? A: Because it was feeling a little flue-ish.
2. Q: What do you call a cigarette that always tells the truth? A: An honest smoke.
3. Q: Why did the smoker go to the gym? A: To work on their nicotine muscles.
4. Q: What did the cigarette say to the smoker? A: “Don’t butt out on me now!”
5. Q: Why did the cigarette quit smoking? A: Because it was tired of being butt of all the jokes.
6. Q: What do you call a laptop for smokers? A: A nicotinebook.
7. Q: How do you know when a smoker is lying? A: When their pack of cigarettes is still full.
8. Q: What do you call it when a smoker quits cold turkey? A: A bird that’s gone cold turkey.
9. Q: Why are cigarettes like squirrels? A: They’re always looking for a butt to light on.
10. Q: How do you get a smoker’s attention? A: Just light up and watch them flock to you.
11. Q: Why did the cigarette get sent to detention? A: It was caught smoking in the bathroom.
12. Q: What did the smoker say when asked if they wanted to quit? A: “No, I’m trying to finish this pack.”
13. Q: Why did the smoker switch to electronic cigarettes? A: They were tired of people telling them to butt out.
14. Q: What do you call a group of smokers who all quit together? A: A smoke-out.
15. Q: How do you know when a cigarette is feeling sick? A: When it starts to cough and wheeze.
16. Q: Why did the cigarette cross the road? A: To get to the ashtray on the other side.
17. Q: What’s a smoker’s favorite holiday? A: Ash Wednesday.
18. Q: How do you make a smoker quit? A: Add more taxes to cigarettes.
19. Q: Why did the cigarette get invited to the party? A: It was a real hot topic.
20. Q: What did the smoker say after a long day at work? A: “I need a nicotine break.”

Light up the Laughs: Dad Jokes about Smoking

1. Why did the cigarette go to the doctor? Because it was feeling smoked out!
2. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense, the smoke was intense!
3. I quit smoking recently, cold turkey. Now my sandwiches taste like cigarettes.
4. I don’t always smoke, but when I do, I prefer a dad-cig-ar.
5. What do you call a smoking hot tortilla? A burrrn-tilla.
6. Why was the smoke detector buzzing all night? Because it was a party pooper.
7. Can I tell you a joke about smoking? Nevermind, it’s too “puff”ersonal.
8. If cigarettes were free, they’d probably be called “tree-gs”.
9. I used to smoke in my 20s, but now I just smoke in my spare time.
10. What’s the best way to quit smoking? Just don’t start!
11. Did you hear about the smoking milkman? He delivered homogenized cigarettes.
12. You know what they say, smoking after sex is like adding a cherry to a cigarette.
13. How many smokers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they’re too busy lighting up.
14. Why did the cigarette go fishing? It wanted to catch a trout of smoke.
15. I told my doctor I want to quit smoking, but he told me it’s not a cigarette solution.
16. What did one cigarette say to the other? “If you’re a cigarette, why did you start?”
17. I signed up for a quit smoking program, but they wouldn’t let me smoke while learning how to quit.
18. My friend opened up a smoking accessories store, but I hear it’s gone up in smoke.
19. Why are cigarettes like squirrels? They’re both harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.
20. They say smoking is bad for your health, but I think it’s just “smoke” and mirrors.

Light Up the Laughter: Smoking Puns & Jokes for Kids

1. What do you call a cow that smokes? A mooing chimney!
2. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the smoking coop!
3. What do you call it when someone steals cigarettes? A nicotine heist!
4. What do you get when you mix smoking with math? A smoking calculator!
5. Why don’t bears smoke? Because they don’t want to be grizzly addicts!
6. What did the cigarette say to the lighter? You light up my life!
7. What is a smoker’s favorite type of pasta? Spaghetti smoke-etti!
8. Why did the smoker go to the doctor? Because he had a bad case of ash-ma!
9. What did the cat say when it saw someone smoking? “Quit the bad habit before it’s too late fur you!”
10. Why didn’t the smoke alarm go off during the fire? Because it was on its smoke break!
11. Why do smokers have such good posture? Because they’re always holding a puff-up pillow!
12. What type of jokes do smokers like? Corny smokes-I mean, corny jokes!
13. What do you get when you mix coffee and cigarettes? A real eye-opener!
14. Why don’t ants smoke? Because they don’t want to be in a colony full of smokers!
15. What did the cowboy say before lighting his cigar? “Let’s blaze a trail!”
16. Why was the smoker always late? Because he kept having to stop for smoke breaks!
17. What do you call a non-smoker at a party? The designated driver!
18. What did the tree say when it saw someone smoking? “Please don’t leaf your cigarette butts on my branches!”
19. Why can’t skeletons smoke? Because they have no lungs!
20. How does a vampire smoke? With a coffin nail!

Light up and laugh with these hilarious Funny Quotes about Smoking!

1. “I don’t smoke because I’m trying to be cool, I smoke because I’m trying to be hot. Like, sizzling bacon hot.”
2. “Quit smoking? B*tch, please. That’s the only fire I’ve got left in my life.”
3. “Smoking is a great way to annoy non-smokers and turn yourself into a human chimney.”
4. “They say smoking kills, but so does boredom and I would rather go out in style.”
5. “Smoking is my way of telling the world, ‘I don’t give a f*ck about my lungs.'”
6. “Smoking may not be good for your health, but it’s definitely good for your hand-eye coordination.”
7. “I tried quitting smoking once…but then I realized, I really need something to do with my hands while waiting for the microwave to finish.”
8. “I don’t smoke because I want to die early, I smoke because I want to die young and leave a good looking corpse.”
9. “My doctor told me I should quit smoking and I replied, ‘But doc, it’s the only thing keeping me sane.'”
10. “Air pollution? That’s just nature’s way of reminding non-smokers that they need to stop taking clean air for granted.”
11. “If smoking is bad for you, why does it have such a cool nickname like ‘cancer sticks’?”
12. “I don’t smoke to add years to my life, I smoke to add depth to my voice.”
13. “I don’t have a smoking problem, I have a lighter addiction.”
14. “Some people say smoking is a dirty habit. I say it’s a cleansing ritual for your lungs.”
15. “I only smoke when I’m drunk because that’s the only time I’m ballsy enough to light up a stick that’s literally on fire.”
16. “Yoda may say ‘do or do not, there is no try’ but when it comes to quitting smoking, I’ll take the latter.”
17. “You can take away my cigarettes, but you can’t take away my right to make poor life choices.”
18. “Smoking is like paying for a VIP membership to the early bird specials of life.”
19. “I don’t smoke because I have low self-esteem, I smoke because I have high stress levels.”
20. “They say ‘quitters never win’ but when it comes to smoking, they might just be on to something.”

Light up your sense of humor with these funny proverbs and wise sayings about smoking!

1. A pack a day keeps the doctor away, but brings the cigarette salesman closer.
2. An apple a day keeps the temptation of smoking at bay.
3. A smoke-free future is just a puff away.
4. A chain smoker never skips the links.
5. A smoke-free home is a happy home, unless you’re the cigarettes.
6. Better to be a quitter than a smoker, for one has more life while the other’s a joker.
7. Don’t let blowing smoke become your reality.
8. Smoke is like a friendship. It may seem comforting at first, but it will eventually kill you.
9. Every cigarette you smoke takes away two minutes of your life, but adds an hour to your nicotine cravings.
10. Funny how smokers are always coughing but non-smokers get all the flus.
11. Good friends don’t let each other smoke alone.
12. He who smokes without caution, will die without much caution.
13. If you can’t control your smoking, at least control your breath.
14. It only takes one cigarette to start a fire, and one puff to start an addiction.
15. Life is short, but smoking makes it even shorter.
16. Money doesn’t grow on trees, but cigarette companies sure make it feel like it does.
17. Quitting smoking always feels like giving up a beloved pet, but it’s worth it in the end.
18. The best thing about being a non-smoker? Not having to wait until the end of a meal to enjoy dessert.
19. Tobacco is the bringer of smell and disease. Smokers should take note of this with ease.
20. You may think that smoking makes you look cool, but the only thing it’s cool for is your casket.

Up in Smoke: The Art of Crafting Smoking Double Entendres Puns

1. “I may not be a chimney, but I can certainly blow your mind.”
2. “Care for a smoke? I’m quite the drag queen.”
3. “I may be hot, but I never burn out.”
4. “They say smoking kills, but for me, it’s just a breath of fresh air.”
5. “My love for you burns brighter than any cigarette.”
6. “I’ve been known to light up a room with my charm and wit.”
7. “I’m not addicted to smoking, I just have a serious ash-ixiation.”
8. “I may be a smoker, but I’ll never spark a flame in your heart.”
9. “I’m like a cigarette, once you get a taste, you’ll always come back for more.”
10. “Smoking may be bad for my health, but it’s great for my sex life.”
11. “I’m not blowing smoke, you really are smoking hot.”
12. “I may be a chain smoker, but you’re the one who’s got me hooked.”
13. “I never thought I’d quit smoking, but then I met you and you took my breath away.”
14. “They say smoking causes wrinkles, but I’d rather have a lifetime of laughter lines with you.”
15. “I may be a smoker, but you’ve got me feeling like a firework.”
16. “They say smoking is a dirty habit, but you make it look oh so sexy.”
17. “I may not be able to quit smoking, but I can certainly extinguish your doubts.”
18. “It’s not just tobacco that’s addicting, I can’t get enough of you.”
19. “I may need a light for my cigarette, but with you, I always feel lit up.”
20. “I don’t always smoke, but when I do, it’s with you.”

Lighten Up Your Mood with these Recursive Puns about Smoking

1. Why did the smoker go to the doctor? Because he was feeling ashunned.
2. I quit smoking for health reasons. Now I only smoke for wealth reasons.
3. I accidentally smoked a cigar backwards. It was a real drag.
4. My doctor told me to cut down on my smoking. So I started using a smaller lighter.
5. What did the cigarette say to the other cigarette? “You’re smoking hot.”
6. I tried to quit smoking cold turkey, but I couldn’t handle the pressure.
7. Why did the tree start smoking? Because it was rooted in bad habits.
8. Smoking may be the death of me, but at least it’s a slow burn.
9. Why did the cigarette refuse to share? Because it was too possessive.
10. I used to smoke in bed, but my sheets kept catching on fire. It was a real sheetshow.
11. Smoke detectors are just attention seekers. They’re always going off for no reason.
12. What do you call a smoker who can’t quit? Nicofrantic.
13. I decided to switch to vaping, but I couldn’t find any vegan-friendly vape juice.
14. They say cigarette smoke can damage your lungs, but what about my rights as a chimney?
15. I’m thinking of starting my own cigarette company. I’ll call it Marlboro Lite.
16. Why did the cigarette need therapy? Because it had deep-seated issues.
17. I have a love-hate relationship with smoking. I love it, but my bank account hates it.
18. I asked my friend if he wanted to grab a smoke with me. He said no, he was trying to cut back on burnt calories.
19. They say cigarettes can be a real crutch, but have they tried using a lighter?
20. I gave up smoking for my New Year’s resolution. Now I’m desperately searching for a loophole.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? A smoker trying to quit! But don’t worry, I won’t puff and huff.

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nico. Nico who? Nico-tine sure is a tough habit to break!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Abe. Abe who? Abe quitting smoking right now!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tobias. Tobias who? Tobacco was never my friend anyway!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cigars. Cigars who? Cigars are just cigarettes in disguise!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Puff. Puff who? Puffing away on a cigarette is just not worth it!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cough. Cough who? Coughing up a lung from smoking isn’t exactly a party trick.
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Light. Light who? Lighting up a cigarette won’t make you any cooler.
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cancer. Cancer who? Cancer stick? No thanks, I’ll pass.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butt. Butt who? Butting out of this smoking habit for good!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Marlboro. Marlboro who? Don’t bother me with your Marlboro Miles, I quit smoking!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Addiction. Addiction who? Addiction is no laughing matter, except when it comes to knocking out this smoking habit.
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ashes. Ashes who? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, quitting smoking is a must!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tar. Tar who? Taring up these cigarettes is the best decision I’ve ever made!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Breathe. Breathe who? Breathe easier by giving up smoking!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chain-smoker. Chain-smoker who? Chain-smokers are just smokers with better coordination.
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Blindfold. Blindfold who? Blindly lighting up a cigarette won’t make it any healthier!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Indoor smoker. Indoor smoker who? Indoor smokers may skip the secondhand smoke, but they still can’t escape the health risks.
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Smoke-free. Smoke-free who? Smoke-free is the way to be!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Patch. Patch who? Wearing a nicotine patch doesn’t make you a fashion statement, but it does help with quitting smoking.
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cold turkey. Cold turkey who? Cold turkey doesn’t sound appetizing, but it sure does taste like freedom from smoking!

Inhale the laughter, exhale the puns!

So, there you have it folks, 180+ puns about smoking to tickle your funny bone (or should I say, lighten your smoke?). But don’t put out your laughter just yet, head over to our other related puns and joke posts to keep the punny train rolling. And remember, smoking may be bad for your health, but these puns are sure to light up your day. Stay punny my friends!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

Facebook Pinterest Threads X (Twitter) YouTube