Are you ready for a laugh? Well, get ready to bust your sides with the best puns about everyone’s favorite ogre, Shrek! From clever wordplay to hilarious one-liners, this list of Shrek jokes is sure to have you in stitches. And don’t worry, these puns are kid-friendly, so you can enjoy them with the whole family. So sit back, relax, and get ready for some humor that even Shrek himself would appreciate. Here are the funniest jokes about the one and only Shrek!
Ogre the Moon with These Hilarious Shrek Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks!
- Why did Shrek go to the bank? – To get some ogre-draft protection!
- What did Donkey say to Shrek when he couldn’t find his shoes? – “Looks like you’re gonna have to go bare-footin’!”
- How does Princess Fiona make her hair so shiny? – With Shrek-ommendations from a swampy stylist!
- What did Shrek say when he saw a spider on his web? – “Don’t bother me, I’m a ogre-webbed!”
- Why did Shrek and Donkey go to the pet store? – To get a new ass-istant!
- Where did Shrek go when he needed a new pair of pants? – The ogre-fitting section!
- What do you call a Shrek look-alike? – A sha-mirror!
- Why was Shrek such a good cook? – He knows how to sautéed a-llion!
- How did Shrek become the best plumber in the kingdom? – He knows how to unclog a drain like a boss-ter!
- What do you call an ogre that studies law? – A barris-troll!
- Why did Shrek and Donkey go to the doctor? – They were feeling donkey-sick!
- Why did Shrek and Fiona elope instead of having a big wedding? – They didn’t want ogre-whelming guests with their love!
- What did the mirror say to Prince Charming? – “You may be charming, but Shrek’s got the looks that won’t shatter!”
- Why did Shrek’s mom buy him a new phone? – So he could make ogre-long distance calls!
- What did Shrek say when he saw his reflection in the mirror? – “That’s ogre-rific!”
- Why did the onion cry when Shrek peeled it? – Because it was about to become a delicious ogre-stew!
- What did Donkey say when Shrek told him he was getting old? – “You don’t look a day over ogre-ty!”
- How does Shrek like his bread? – Ogre-n easy!
- What did Shrek say when Donkey asked him to go caroling with him? – “I’ll pass, I’m not very ogre-vocal.”
- What do you call an ogre who’s always snooping around? – A shrektective!
Get Your Belly Aching with These Hilarious ‘Funny Shrek’ One-Liner Jokes
- Why couldn’t the gingerbread man catch a break? He was always on a roll!
- Why did Shrek refuse to go to the gym? He didn’t want to feel ogreworked!
- What did Donkey say when Shrek asked if he wanted to play some chess? “Donkey knight, I’m in!”
- Why did Puss in Boots keep asking for milk? He wanted to cat-ch up on his protein intake.
- “Shrek, you know what they say about onions… they have many layers like an ogre’s feelings!”
- How does Shrek like his eggs in the morning? “Ogre easy, please!”
- Why did Fiona bring a ladder to her date with Shrek? She heard things were getting a little steamy in the swamp.
- “Don’t mess with the Dragon, she’s got fire in her scales and attitude.”
- Why was Donkey afraid of meeting Shrek’s parents? He didn’t want to make an ass of himself.
- “You might think I’m a Grumpy old ogre, but that’s just Ogre-estimates.”
- Why did Gingy open a bakery in Far Far Away? He wanted to rise to fame and dough-nuts!
- How does Shrek get his daily dose of calcium? He chews on rocks, they’re full of minerals.
- “Pinocchio, don’t lie! Your nose is already long enough, we don’t need any woodpecker jokes.”
- Why did Shrek never join a band? He didn’t want to fade into the background, he’s an ogre rockstar!
- “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the ogre-iest of them all?” It’s obviously Shrek, duh.
- Why did the Fairy Godmother always wear gloves? She didn’t want her magic to slip through her fingers!
- “Donkey, you know what they say… jackass of all trades, master of none.”
- Why did Fiona never finish her meal at the dinner table? She was too busy talking with her mouth ogre.
- “Puss in Boots, don’t you ever get tired of wearing those boots?” “Nah, they make me feel like the purrfect feline swashbuckler.”
- Why did Lord Farquaad have such a hard time getting a date? He was too short for Tinder!
Unleash Your Inner Ogre with These QnA Jokes & Puns about Shrek
- Q: Why does Shrek always carry an onion with him? A: In case he needs to make some layers.
- Q: What did Shrek say when asked if he wanted to go to the movies? A: “No thanks, I’ve already ogre-watched.”
- Q: How does Shrek keep his swamp so clean? A: He uses an ogre-all purpose cleaner.
- Q: What does Shrek say when someone compliments his appearance? A: “You’re making me blush and it’s not just because I’m green.”
- Q: Why did Shrek start a new diet? A: He wanted to have a Fiona-tastic figure.
- Q: How did Shrek break the spell that turned Fiona into an ogre? A: He put her on a strict kale-only diet.
- Q: Why did Donkey cross the road? A: To get away from Shrek’s morning breath.
- Q: What did Shrek say when he saw the fairy godmother’s wand? A: “I wish I had a wand-erful weapon like that.”
- Q: What did Fiona say when Shrek asked her to be his wife? A: “I’ll say yes to an ogre and over again.”
- Q: How does Shrek know when it’s time to do his laundry? A: When his clothes are starting to smell like a swamp.
- Q: Why did Shrek ask Donkey to keep quiet about his secret treasure stash? A: Because he didn’t want anyone to ogre-hear it.
- Q: What does Shrek call a group of ogres? A: A stack of ogres, of course.
- Q: What does Shrek say when someone asks him if he’s feeling blue? A: “No, I’m feeling more like a shade of green.”
- Q: How did Shrek win the battle against Lord Farquaad? A: He used his ogre-power to defeat him.
- Q: Why does Shrek make the best friend? A: Because he’s loyal, honest, and has layers of humor.
- Q: How did Shrek become friends with the gingerbread man? A: They bonded over their love for cookies and milk.
- Q: Why does Shrek hate going to the beach? A: Because it’s hard to find a swimsuit that fits his ogre bod.
- Q: What does Shrek say when someone asks why he lives in a swamp? A: “It’s quite cozy once you get used to the smell.”
- Q: What’s Shrek’s favorite type of music? A: Hip-hop-gre.
- Q: Why did Shrek decide to become an artist? A: Because drawing is like making layers of art.
Donkey Odes and Ogre Laughs: Dad Jokes About Shrek
- Why did Shrek visit the doctor? He was feeling ogrewhelmed!
- Why does Donkey love hanging out with Shrek? Because he’s a great listener and a fantastic mush-friend!
- How does Shrek keep his swamp tidy? With a lawn Ogre-mower!
- What did Shrek say when he found out his swamp was haunted? “This is really Ogre-larious!”
- Why was Fiona always winning the crossword puzzle? Because she’s a real Shrek-spert!
- What do you get when you cross Shrek with a computer? Ogre-ritmized!
- Did you hear about the time Shrek invented a new dance move? It was called “The O-gre” and it was a real hit at the Swamp Ball!
- Why did Lord Farquaad always dislike Shrek? Because he couldn’t handle his Ogre-whelming charm!
- What’s Shrek’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop-grindel (grindel being the name of the dragon in the film).
- How did the Gingerbread Man describe Shrek? As an all-ogre amazing guy!
- What do you call Shrek’s favorite dessert? Ogre-strudel!
- Why was Donkey so bad at hide-and-seek? Because he always gave himself away with his loud “Hee-haw” laughter!
- Why did Shrek refuse to play any sports on his swamp? Because he didn’t want to risk getting kick-Ogre’d out!
- If Shrek and Fiona got in an argument, who would win? Ogre my dead body!
- What do you call it when Shrek accidentally spills his coffee? An Ogre-spill!
- What did Shrek say when he brought home takeout for dinner? “I hope you’re all hOgre-ry!”
- Why does Shrek love camping in the forest? Because he loves the sound of a good ogre-chestra!
- What did Shrek say when he saw a donkey wearing a fancy suit? “Well, that’s fancy or should I say ‘f-DONKEY’!”
- How did Shrek feel when he finally found his true love? Ogre-whelmed and Fiona-tastic!
- What do you call Shrek’s secret admirer? His Ogre-lover.
Get the Whole Family Laughing with These Hilarious Shrek-Inspired Puns & Jokes for Kids
- What did Shrek say when he saw Donkey eating an onion? “Donkey, that onion is ogre-eating!”
- What do you call a giant ogre with a bad attitude? A grumpstiltskin!
- Why did Shrek go to the doctor? He was feeling a little green.
- What do you call a group of ogres telling jokes? A comedy club sandwich!
- What did the gingerbread man say when Shrek saved him from Lord Farquaad? “Thanks for saving my cookie butt!”
- Why did the Three Little Pigs refuse to play with Shrek? They didn’t want to be friends with an ogre-achiever!
- How do you make Princess Fiona laugh? Give her a pun-cake!
- What’s Shrek’s favorite dessert? Mud pie!
- Why did Shrek’s donkey friend get a job at the bakery? Because he was always bringing home the dough!
- What do you call an ogre who takes too many trips to the gym? A flexo-giant!
- How does Shrek stay in shape? He lifts ogre-size weights!
- Why did Shrek decide to move out of his swamp? He didn’t want to be stuck in a rut!
- What’s Shrek’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop-grunt!
- How does Shrek like his eggs? Ogre-easy!
- Why was Fiona so good at archery? She had an arrow fate!
- What do you get when you cross Shrek and a cow? A moo-ver and a shaker!
- How does Shrek like to relax after a long day? He takes a bubble-bath ogre than his head!
- What do you call an ogre with a great sense of humor? Joke-sque!
- Why did Shrek start a farm? He wanted to have some plot twists!
- What’s Shrek’s favorite type of exercise? Swamp-jumping!
Get ready to ogre-load on laughter with these Funny Quotes about ‘Shrek’!
- “Why did the ogre cross the road? To get to the other swamp.”
- “Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek may be green, but at least he’s not you.”
- “I don’t judge people by their appearance, except for Shrek. He’s definitely an ogre.”
- “If we all had a Fiona in our lives, we’d be living in a farquaad better world.”
- “Shrek is the reason I have trust issues. I mean, who can trust a talking donkey?”
- “The only thing scarier than encountering a dragon is encountering a hangry Shrek.”
- “They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but in Shrek’s case, it’s also in the onion he’s eating.”
- “I tried to make a joke about donkeys, but it ended up being a ‘wonky’ attempt.”
- “Shrek may have layers, but I have a whole ogre kingdom inside me waiting to be explored.”
- “My parents always told me to marry a rich prince, but I ended up with an onion-loving ogre. No regrets.”
- “In the fairy tale world, kissing a frog turns them into a prince. In Shrek’s world, kissing a princess turns them into an ogre.”
- “Shrek is the ultimate mood: grumpy but lovable.”
- “Shrek taught me that true love isn’t about finding the perfect person, but finding someone who thinks your farts are funny.”
- “There’s a little Shrek in all of us. Some of us are just more ogre-esque than others.”
- “If Shrek was a superhero, his superpower would be belching louder than the dragon.”
- “The real question is not ‘Who let the dogs out?’, but ‘Who let the ogre out?’.”
- “Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the most ogre-ly of them all? Sorry Snow White, but it’s definitely Shrek.”
- “I never trust people who don’t like Shrek. They probably also don’t like waffles or onions.”
- “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you Shrek, make onion soup.”
- “If Shrek was a wizard, his famous line would be ‘You shall pass gas!’ instead of ‘You shall not pass!'”.
Ogres and jokes abound: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Shrek!
- “Better the swamp monster you know than the ogre you don’t.”
- “A friend in need is a friend with a donkey.”
- “Life is like an onion, it has layers and makes you cry like an ogre.”
- “Don’t judge a book by its cover, especially if it’s a talking gingerbread man.”
- “Wisdom comes in all shapes and sizes, even in the form of a talking donkey.”
- “Love is blind, but true love can break a fairy godmother’s enchantment.”
- “If at first you don’t succeed, try talking to a dragon.”
- “It’s not easy being green, but it’s definitely more fun than being a prince.”
- The early bird gets the worm, but the early ogre gets the swamp.
- “Don’t count your eggs before they hatch, especially if they’re Puss in Boots.”
- “Honesty is the best policy, unless you’re a talking donkey named Pinocchio.”
- “Life’s a journey, so make sure to bring a talking gingerbread man along for the ride.”
- “The grass is always greener on the swamp side.”
- “There’s more to a person than meets the eye, except for Lord Farquaad.”
- “Bigger isn’t always better, just ask an ogre with a tiny fairy godmother.”
- “Don’t cry over spilled milk, unless it’s Ogre’s Milk.”
- The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but the talking gingerbread man gets eaten by a wolf.
- “Patience is a virtue, especially when waiting for your true love to break a curse.”
- “It’s better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved an ogre at all.”
- “You can’t please everyone, but an ogre can please himself with a plate of waffles.”
Unleashing our Ogre-sized collection of Shrek Double Entendres Puns!
- “I was ogrewhelmed by all the layers in this onion.”
- “Don’t let your ego get too big, or you’ll end up like Farquaad.”
- “Is that a castle in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
- “That ogre-sized bed looks perfect for a little shreking.”
- “I heard Shrek is a great cook, he’s always whipping up something in the swamp.”
- “I don’t always trust donkeys, but when I do, they’re usually voiced by Eddie Murphy.”
- “I didn’t know donkeys could fly, but then I met Dragon.”
- “Fiona’s transformation into an ogre really brought out her inner beauty.”
- “Looks like Shrek is a fan of burrowing, he’s always digging for compliments.”
- “Forget the tower, Rapunzel should just let down her hair for Shrek.”
- “Are you a donkey? Because I’m feeling a little ass-tounded by your beauty.”
- “They say true love’s kiss can break any curse, but in the case of Fiona, it turned her into an ogre.”
- “Why did Donkey cross the road? To get to the other shrek.”
- “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the most ogre-licious of them all?”
- “I like my onions like I like my ogres, with a lot of layers and a bit smelly.”
- Want to come over and watch my favorite movie, Shrek? Don’t worry, it’s not too swampy.”
- “Why did the gingerbread man go to medical school? He wanted to be a doctor, dohn’t you know?”
- “What’s Donkey’s favorite food? Hay-ger meatballs.”
- “I heard Shrek and Fiona’s honeymoon was a real fairy-tale ending.”
- “Why did the cookie go to therapy? He felt crumbled after meeting Lord Farquaad.”
Finding Layers of Laughs: Recursive Puns about Shrek
- Why did Shrek go to therapy? Because he had ogresight.
- What does Shrek use to fix his roof? A Skrekdriver.
- How does Shrek keep his ears clean? With ogreesil.
- What did Fiona say when she saw Shrek’s onion collection? “This is ogrewhelming.”
- How does Shrek feel about parallel lines? They’re straight up ogre-tiring.
- What do you call a Shrek-themed restaurant? The Swamper.
- Why was Shrek better at math than Donkey? Because he knows his ogreithms.
- What did the fairy godmother say to Shrek when he asked for a makeover? “I ogre-see it now!”
- How does Shrek keep his swamp safe? With a lot of ogre-site security.
- What did Shrek say when he lost his wallet? “Ogre-no, where’s my money?”
- How does Shrek like his coffee? Froggy style.
- Why did Shrek refuse to buy a new gargoyle for his garden? Because he already had an ogre-iginal one.
- How did the gingerbread man thank Shrek for saving him? With an ogresized cookie.
- Why was Shrek always good at hide and seek? Because he could always blend in with the swamp.
- Why did Lord Farquaad call Shrek a donkey? Because he couldn’t handle hearing the truth — he was an ogre-achiever.
- How does Shrek keep track of his appointments? With his ogrenizer.
- What does Shrek like to do on a rainy day? Play ogrepoxy with Donkey.
- Why did Shrek open a bakery? He heard it was the ogre-cake business.
- What did Shrek say when Donkey asked him to go on a diet with him? “Sorry, I’m ogre-weight as it is.”
- How does Shrek keep in touch with his friends? Through his ogremail account.
Shrek the door for some hilarious knock-knock jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ogre. Ogre who? Ogre and out of my swamp!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Donkey. Donkey who? Donkey mess with Shrek!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fiona. Fiona who? Fiona away, I’m busy saving my prince!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gingy. Gingy who? Gingy to get these jokes started!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lord Farquaad. Lord Farquaad who? Exactly, no one remembers me!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Puss. Puss who? Puss in boots, ready for action!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dragon. Dragon who? No need to dragon out this joke any longer.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fairy Godmother. Fairy Godmother who? The one and only fairy Godmother, dahling!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pinocchio. Pinocchio who? Pinocchio nose saw this coming!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lord Farquaad’s mirror. Lord Farquaad’s mirror who? I’m sorry, Lord Farquaad doesn’t allow reflections.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Merlin. Merlin who? Merlin my way to the kingdom to see Shrek!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Thelonious. Thelonious who? Thelonious just a henchman in Lord Farquaad’s army.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Muffin man. Muffin man who? The muffin man who lives on Drury Lane with Gingy.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rumpelstiltskin. Rumpelstiltskin who? Rumpelstiltskin still trying to trick someone into a bad deal.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gaston. Gaston who? Gaston crossed paths with the wrong ogre!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Three Blind Mice. Three Blind Mice who? Three Blind Mice, see how they run from Shrek!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Robin Hood. Robin Hood who? Robin Hood, but I’m not robbin’ the rich to give to the poor right now, I’m busy.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Papa Bear. Papa Bear who? Papa Bear would love to come over for breakfast in Shrek’s swamp!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fairy Tale Creatures. Fairy Tale Creatures who? Fairy Tale Creatures living in a swamp, what could be better?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Charming. Charming who? Prince Charming, ready to sweep Fiona off her feet (even if she doesn’t want me to).
Ogre and out, these Shrek puns slay!
Well folks, it looks like we’ve reached the end of our shrektacular pun journey. I hope you had a swamp-tastic time and that these puns have ogrewhelmed you with laughter. But don’t think the fun has to end here, make sure to check out other punny posts about your favorite movies and characters. It’s time to bid farewell to Shrek and all his hilarious friends, but don’t worry, because ogres have layers and so do these puns – they’ll keep you laughing for days. Until next time, keep on punning, my fellow shrekophiles!
