Get Your River LOLs Ready: 170+ Puns and Jokes About Those Flowin’ Waters!

Welcome to the funniest, punniest, and most clever post you’ll read all day! We’ve gathered up a list of the best river jokes and puns that are guaranteed to make you laugh and leave you feeling positively amused. These jokes are perfect for kids (and adults with a great sense of humor), so get ready for some river-rousing laughter! Without further ado, let’s dive into the hilarity and see just how funny a river can be.

Go with the Flow: Our Top ‘River’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

1. What do you call a river that flows with chocolate instead of water? A Milky Way.
2. Why did the fish decide to live in the river instead of the ocean? Because it was tired of being shellfish.
3. Did you hear about the man who tried to swim across the river but gave up halfway? He said it was “water under the bridge.”
4. How do you make a river laugh? Tell it a salmon joke.
5. What did the river say when it was feeling low? “I’m in a deep stream of depression.”
6. Why did the river buy a new hat? Because it wanted to keep its head above water.
7. How does a river greet its friends? With a wave!
8. What do you call an alligator in the river? A see-waiter.
9. How does a river clean itself? With a tide-y stream.
10. What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
11. I’m writing a book about the history of rivers. It’s a flowing narrative.
12. Why don’t rivers flood more often? Because they have a strong current.
13. Why did the fisherman go to the bank? To make a deposit!
14. How does a river flirt? It sends a flirty current.
15. Why do rivers always meander? Because they like to go with the flow.
16. What did one river say to the other? I’ve got you beat…in terms of length.
17. What do you call a river that’s been running for years? An old streamer.

Ride the Laughter Rapids with These Hilarious ‘Funny River’ One-Liner Jokes

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2. Why did the river go to therapy? Because it had some deep issues.
3. I tried to make a joke about a river, but I couldn’t find the right flow.
4. Why was the river sad? Because it was feeling low.
5. I told my friend I was taking a trip to the river. They said, “Sounds like a refreshing change of pace.”
6. Why did the river refuse to work out? Because it didn’t want to run.
7. The river was so greedy, it wanted all the streams for itself.
8. My fear of riding on boats is called row-mates-is.
9. Why did the river refuse to answer questions? Because it would always go off on a tangent.
10. I finally mastered the art of rafting, I’m on such a roll.
11. The drained river never wants to fall for that again.
12. What do you call a river that’s been to every continent? Well-traveled.
13. The river’s New Year’s resolution? To go with the flow more.
14. I fell in love with a river, but our relationship was all wet.
15. Why did the fish cross the river? To get to the other tide.
16. I just read a book about rivers, but it kept going off on tangents.
17. What do you get when you mix a river and a mountain? A waterfall!
18. The lazy river’s favorite activity? Float therapy!

Riveting QnA Jokes & Puns about ‘River’ to Keep You Floating with Laughter!

1. Answer: Sorry, I’m still trying to figure out how to cross that bridge.
2. Why did the river get angry? Because people kept streaming past without saying hello!
3. What do you call a river that’s always raising its banks? A cry-me-a-river!
4. What’s a river’s favorite way to relax? Lazing on a reedy Sunday afternoon!
5. What do you get when you cross a river and a refrigerator? A cool, refreshing water flow!
6. Why did the chicken go for a swim in the river? To shake off its feather coat!
7. What’s a river’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good flow!
8. Why don’t rivers often socialize? Because they prefer to just go with the flow!
9. What do you call a lazy river? A slacker stream!
10. What did the buffalo say when he crossed the river? “Buffalo me through, baby!”
11. What did the river say to the ocean? Long time, no sea!
12. Why are rivers always hungry? Because they’re always draining food from their surroundings!
13. What do you call a group of fishes swimming in a river? A school of currents!
14. What did the grape say when it fell into the river? “Oh, well, wine not?”
15. Why did the river go on a diet? To shed some weigh-ter!
16. How does a river greet its neighbor? With a wavy hello!
17. What do you call a river that loves old movies? A cinema-stream!
18. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the river? It didn’t have the guts to swim!

Making a Splash with Dad Jokes about Rivers

1. Why did the river go to therapy? Because it had a lot of flow-control issues!
2. What do you call a river that’s afraid of commitment? A tributary!
3. What did the fish say when it swam into the riverbank? Dam!
4. Why did the fish refuse to swim in the river? Because it had heard there were a lot of bottom feeders.
5. How many rivers does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it might take a while to erode away the socket.
6. What do you call a river that’s also a dancer? A river-bed-azzle!
7. Did you hear about the river that kept telling terrible jokes? It just couldn’t get its punchline straight.
8. Why was the river always angry? Because it had a lot of streams to vent!
9. What do you get when you cross a river with a computer? A motherboard, of course!
10. Why did the river get grounded? Because it was too flowing for its own good.
11. What did the river say to the waterfall? “Just going with the flow, man.”
12. How does a river brush its teeth? With a floral paste!
13. Why was the fish embarrassed when it swam upstream? Because it saw some streams it knew.
14. Why did it take the river so long to figure out how to ski? It kept taking the wrong fork in the trail.
15. How does a river keep its hair in place? With a dam tie.
16. What do you call a crocodile in the river wearing a vest? An investigator!
17. Why did the river have to stop and take a deep breath every few miles? It didn’t want to run out of steam!

Dive into Laughter with These Kid-Friendly River Puns & Jokes!

1. Coloring pages, web comic pages, full-color drawings of the river, descriptions of cell cultures, a video or animation of how the river formed, a comparison chart of different rivers in the world.
2. What is a river’s favorite day of the week? Hump day!
3. Why did the river go to the bank? To make a deposit!
4. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam!
5. What did one river say to the other? Nothing, they were just flowing.
6. How do you make a river laugh? You tell it a water joke.
7. How do you know if a river is a professional swimmer? It has really good current-sea times.
8. What did the river say when it wanted to cross the road? Water way to go!
9. Why did the river hire a lawyer? Because it wanted to incorporate itself.
10. What did the river say when it saw a waterfall? I’m falling for you!
11. Why did the river join the gym? To work on its current-sea level.
12. What do you call a lazy river? A stream of consciousness.
13. Why did the river need to go to therapy? To work on its emotional flow.
14. What did the river say when it got interrupted? Can’t you sea I’m busy?!
15. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall? Dam it!
16. Why do rivers make great detectives? They always have a good current-sea of the situation.
17. What do you call a river that keeps repeating itself? A deja-fluence.
18. How does a river stay in shape? It exercises its liquid assets!

Navigate through laughter with these hysterical Funny Quotes about Rivers

1. “I threw my troubles in the river, but they just came floating back to me.”
2. “My love for the river runs deep, like its currents.”
3. “Rivers are nature’s way of reminding us to just go with the flow.”
4. “I’m not great at swimming, but I’m an expert at doggy paddling in the river of life.”
5. “The best way to start your day is with a cup of coffee and a view of the river.”
6. “I’m not saying I’m a mermaid, but I do have a strange affinity for rivers.”
7. “Life is like a river, constantly flowing and never standing still.”
8. “I’ve learned more from a river than any book can teach me.”
9. “Rivers are like people, they’re constantly changing and never the same twice.”
10. “Remember, the river doesn’t care if you’re a good swimmer or not. It’ll still take you where it wants to go.”
11. “I feel most alive when I’m standing on the bank of a river, watching the world float by.”
12. “Why go to a spa when you can just relax by the river and let nature do its magic?”
13. “If you think a river is just water, you haven’t truly experienced its power and beauty.”
14. “Some people say money can’t buy happiness, but have they ever tried buying a kayak and floating down a river?”
15. “I may not be the best fisherman, but I can at least catch laughter along the riverbanks.”
16. “Why be a fish out of water when you can be a human in the river?”
17. “The only thing better than a day on the river is a night by the campfire alongside it.”

Dive into Hilarity with These River-Related Proverbs and Sayings!

1. “You can’t step in the same river twice, but you can always slip and fall in.”
2. “A river never forgets, but I always forget which river.”
3. “A rolling river gathers no moss, but it does collect a lot of fish.”
4. “Don’t go chasing waterfalls, unless you’re trying to impress a birdwatcher.”
5. “You can’t drown your sorrows in a river, but you can sure as hell try.”
6. “A river without fish is like a golf course without beer – pointless.”
7. “Still waters run deep, but so do my ex-boyfriend’s trust issues.”
8. “Rivers don’t flow backwards, but my dance moves certainly do.”
9. “A river may run through it, but a beer run always comes first.”
10. “Fish and guests smell after three days, but a dead fish in the river smells right away.”
11. “You can lead a horse to water, or you can just pour yourself a drink and watch it wallow.”
12. “A river may be wide and deep, but my love for pizza knows no bounds.”
13. “Birds of a feather may flock together, but they certainly don’t swim in the same river.”
14. “You can’t step in the same river twice, but you can always find another bottle of wine.”
15. “The grass is always greener on the other side of the river, especially when it’s marijuana.”
16. “Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, until you realize there’s a waterfall ahead.”
17. “A dirty river may run through it, but you can always opt for a mud bath instead.”

Go with the Flow and Enjoy These Hilarious River-based Double Entendres Puns!

1. “I’ll take a dip in the river, but only if it’s trouble-free.”
2. “Fishing in the river is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re gonna catch.”
3. “The river is like a shy date – it takes a little coaxing to get it flowing.”
4. “I’ve been down the river so many times, I’ve got paddle marks on my backside.”
5. “I tried to walk on the river, but my boots were too shallow.”
6. “The river is like a gossip – it never runs dry.”
7. “The water in the river is so clear, I can see my reflection when I pee.”
8. “The river always brings me peace of mind, even though it’s full of rapids.”
9. “Don’t trust the maps – they can’t even tell which way the river’s flowing.”
10. “If I had a nickel for every time I lost a shoe in the river, I’d have enough for new water shoes.”
11. “My love for the river runs deeper than the current.”
12. “I told my girlfriend I was going to the river to meditate, but really I just wanted to catch some fish.”
13. “I hate when people say the river is just a stream of consciousness.”
14. “The only thing better than floating down the river is floating down the river with a cold beer in hand.”
15. “I wouldn’t dive in the river for a million dollars – unless it was filled with gold coins.”
16. “Sometimes the best things come from the river – like a refreshing swim or a story that gets better with each telling.”
17. “They say the river never sleeps, but it definitely takes a nap during low tide.”

Rivetingly Funny: Recursive Puns about the River’s Flows and Woes

1. What did the fish say when he swam up the Cincinnati River? “This place is O-Hi-O!”
2. Why did the river have low self-esteem? Because it had a low flow esteem!
3. Do you know why the Mississippi River is always sad? Because it always has the blues!
4. I heard the Colorado River got a new job…it’s an aqua-dynamic engineer!
5. What did the river say when it was feeling lazy? “I’m just going with the flow.”
6. Why couldn’t the river hold a job? Because it was always running off.
7. Did you hear about the river that went on a diet? It wanted to be a stream-line!
8. What do you call a fancy river? A “classy stream.”
9. If a river had a sense of humor, would it be a laughing stoke?
10. Why did the river start wearing glasses? Because it heard it was supposed to have a “clear” vision.
11. Why did the river refuse to go on a road trip? It didn’t want to be taken for a ride.
12. Did you hear about the river that was always late? It had a tendency to water…er, wander.
13. Why did the football team play at the river? Because they were in need of a “water receiver.”
14. What did one side of the river say to the other side? “I’ve got your back(flow).”
15. Why did the river break up with its long-time partner? They just couldn’t see eye-to-eye (of the current).
16. How does a river keep its skin soft and smooth? With a daily current-y routine.
17. What did the river say when it met the ocean? “Long time, no sea!”

Don’t ‘Riv-er’ too hard, you might end up with ‘Malaprop-isms’!

1. “I always say, ‘don’t burn your bridges’ instead of ‘don’t burn your britches’. You never know when you might need those pants!”
2. “She’s a real shark when it comes to business. I mean, bird brain. I mean, barking up the wrong bush. I mean, oh forget it. She’s just not very good at business.”
3. “We’re going camping this weekend and I can’t wait to go fish whispering. I mean, fly fishing. Oops.”
4. “He’s got a wild hoarse, always running around town causing trouble. I mean, a wild horse. You know what I mean.”
5. “The doctor said I need to eat more vitamin ‘creek’ for my immune system. It’s cucumber, right? No? Oh, leafy greens! Got it.”
6. “I’m telling you, it’s not rocket surgery. I mean, brain science. Wait, no, it’s definitely not rocket science either.”
7. “My grandma likes to knit pick every little thing about my outfit. I mean, nitpick. But she actually does knit a lot too, so both work.”
8. “She always acts like such a diva, but really she’s just barking up the wrong tree. I mean, baring her teeth. Wait no, it’s ‘barking mad’, isn’t it?”
9. “I went on this amazing hike and saw so many interesting animals, like a black and white ‘penguin’. I mean, puma. Same thing, right?”
10. “My dad likes to sing in the shower and he’s so bad, it makes my ears ‘river’. I mean, bleed. Yeah, definitely bleed.”
11. “I’m trying to break a bad habit, but it’s like trying to open a can of worms. What? I mean, Pandora’s Box. That’s the one.”
12. “He’s always so tense, like a cat on hot bricks. Wait, I mean, a cat on hot tin roof. No, that’s not it either. A cat on fire? I give up.”
13. “I’m really good at ferretting out the truth. I mean, ‘ferrying’ out the truth. No, wait, it’s neither of those. It’s ferreting, right? Ugh, forget it.”
14. “I’m not getting any younger, so I started taking ‘age discretion’. I mean, eye vitamins. Can you tell it’s not working?”
15. “Let’s go catch a flick tonight. I mean, watch a movie. Or should I say snap a photo? Oh dear, that one’s not even close.”
16. “I was so excited to try this new restaurant, but it turned out to be a real ‘cotton bale’. I mean, dud. I meant dud.”
17. “I had to take my dog to the veterinarian because she ate a bunch of chocolate chip ‘cookies’. I mean, chocolate chips. And no, she’s not a vacuum cleaner.”

Raucous River Riddles: A Humorous Dive into ‘River’ Spoonerisms

1. “Shiver and flow” instead of “river and flow”
2. “Frog in a maple” instead of “maple in a frog”
3. “Quack and row” instead of “rock and roll”
4. “Paddle and shout” instead of “saddle and pout”
5. “Wet your lip” instead of “let your whip”
6. “Scream and churn” instead of “stream and burn”
7. “Cruise the pattern” instead of “choose the captain”
8. “Catch a toon” instead of “taste a tune”
9. “Drain the pub” instead of “paint the drum”
10. “Flipping with each other” instead of “rippling with laughter”
11. “Wash out your brain” instead of “bash out your train”
12. “Bust a foot” instead of “trust a boot”
13. “Ledge over” instead of “edge lover”
14. “Flood your cup” instead of “cloud your pup”
15. “Chart your flow” instead of “part your glow”
16. “Stain the tangerine” instead of “train the engineer”
17. “Plop on a rock” instead of “hop on a block”

Knock, knock. Who’s there? River, interrupting cow. River, interrupting cow who? Moo-ve over and let me tell you a ‘knock-knock’ joke!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River dance like no one’s watching!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River you want to go on a canoe trip with me?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River give me a high-five?
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River all night without getting wet!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River find a better place to fish than here?
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River tell you a fish pun?
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River hurry up and open the door, I’m flowing with excitement!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River wash your troubles away!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River have a drink on the rocks?
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? Riverwild your mom thinks you’re studying?
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River be back, I’m just going with the flow!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River never leave you stranded!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River give me a kiss?
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River rock and roll all night long!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River slide into your DMs.
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who? River cross this bridge when we come to it.
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? River. River who?

River laughter won’t be quenched, pun-doubtedly!

Well, it’s time to wrap up this wet and wild journey through 170+ puns about rivers. I hope you found them “shore”ly entertaining and were able to float away from your worries for a little while. And just in case you need more laughter to quench your thirst, why not check out some of our other pun-filled posts on lakes, oceans, or even puddles? Trust me, you’ll be “river”-disappointed. Happy punning!

Ahmad Raza

I’m Ahmad Raza, the pun-derful maestro behind PunnyPeak.com! As the chief architect of hilarity, I’m on a mission to spread joy, one pun at a time. Crafting jokes that tickle your funny bone is my forte, and PunnyPeak.com is the whimsical wonderland where laughter reigns supreme. Get ready for a rib-tickling adventure as we explore the crevices of humor – PunnyPeak style! Find My Best Puns.

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