Are you ready to laugh your raccoons off? If you’re looking for some hilarious jokes and puns about our sneaky masked friends, then you’re in for a treat! These puns are the best thing since sliced bread (or garbage, in a raccoon’s case). Get your funny bone and your sense of humor ready, because this list of clever and positive raccoon jokes is perfect for kids and adults alike. Get ready to have a howling good time as we dive into some raccoon humor!
A ‘racc-toon’ of hilarity: Our top picks for the best raccoon puns and jokes!
- Entries should follow the following format:
- Why was the raccoon always so tired? Because he was always napping!
- What do you call a group of raccoons playing instruments? A trash band!
- What did the raccoon say when he stole a piece of cheese? Gouda-napped!
- Why didn’t the raccoon go to work? He had a case of rac-coonitis!
- What do you call a raccoon who likes to recycle? Ecoon-friendly!
- Why are raccoons such good thieves? Because they have sticky fingers!
- What do you call a messy raccoon? A raccoon-teur!
- What did the raccoon say when he fell in love? I’m head over paws!
- Why did the raccoon cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
- What’s a raccoon’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop!
- How do you make a raccoon laugh? Tick-le his funny bone!
- What do you get when you cross a raccoon with a dog? A pup-racoon!
- What did the raccoon say to the skunk? Pardon me, I smell something funny!
- Why did the raccoon go to the doctor? He had a rac-cough!
- What do you call a raccoon with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want, he can’t hear you!
- How do raccoons get their news? They read the ‘news-paw-per’!
- Why did the raccoon go to jail? For stealing too much trash and litter-ing!
“Get Ready to Howl with These Hilarious ‘Funny Raccoon’ One-Liner Jokes!
- Why did the raccoon go to college? He wanted to earn his trash canselor degree.
- What do you call a sneaky raccoon? A masked bandito.
- Did you hear about the raccoon who opened a beauty salon? She specializes in trashy haircuts.
- How do you know when a raccoon is lying? His nose grows longer.
- Why don’t raccoons play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
- What do you call a group of raccoons playing instruments? A trash band.
- Did you hear about the raccoon who started a food delivery service? He brings you whatever’s in the dumpster.
- How do you make a raccoon laugh? Tell him a joke that’s trashy.
- Why did the raccoon go to the library? To borrow some books on how to sneak into bird feeders.
- What do you call a guilty raccoon? A trash compactor.
- Did you hear about the raccoon who joined a dance troupe? He’s the one who always does the trashy moves.
- How does a raccoon get to the top of a tree? He climbs it in a raccoon-a-can.
- Why don’t raccoons ever get caught stealing? They have sticky fingers.
- Did you hear about the raccoon who tried to start a chocolate factory? It was a real trasholate disaster.
- What do you get when you cross a raccoon and a skunk? A stinky thief.
- Why did the raccoon cross the road? To get to the trash can on the other side.
- What do you say to a raccoon wearing a fedora? “Looking snazzy, Trash Holmes.”
Get a Good Laugh with Some QnA Jokes & Puns about Raccoons!
- Why was the raccoon so tired? Because he had been up all night raccoon-ting!
- What do you call a group of raccoons standing in a line? A raccoon-a-tion!
- What’s a raccoon’s favorite type of music? Hip-Hoperation!
- What did the raccoon say when he stubbed his toe? “That’s just trash luck!”
- What did the raccoon say when he found a treasure trove of nuts and berries? “This is my lucky d-racoon!”
- Why did the raccoon start his own business? He wanted to be a raccoon-prenuer!
- What did the raccoon say when he saw a fox? “Wait, are you a fuzzy raccoon or a sly fox?”
- How did the raccoon become so successful in business? He had a plan-of-action!
- What do you call a raccoon who’s always grumpy? A crab-apple-coon!
- What do you call a raccoon who loves to dance? A disco coon-ey!
- How did the raccoon find his way through the forest? He used his sense of smel-lacoon.
- What did the raccoon say when he lost his mask? “Oh no, I have a stripped face now!”
- Why did the raccoon cross the road? To prove he wasn’t just a chicken-oon!
- What did the father raccoon say to his misbehaving kids? “You’re all a bunch of little trash-pandas!”
- What did the raccoon say when he found a wallet full of cash? “I guess I’m the new trashionaire in town!”
- How does a raccoon keep his fur looking so luscious? With lots of condi-racooner!
- What did the raccoon say when he won the lottery? “I guess I’ll have to change my name to Rich-coon now!”
R-acoont me into some laughs with these dad jokes about Raccoons!
- Why did the raccoon cross the road? To get to the garbage can on the other side!
- How do you know if a raccoon has been in your backyard? Your trash cans will be left open and empty!
- Did you hear about the raccoon who won the marathon? He was a real trash-talker!
- What do you call a sneaky raccoon? A masked bandit!
- I saw a group of raccoons stealing beer from a convenience store last night. They were caught red-pawed!
- Why don’t raccoons carry backpacks? Because they only carry out one thing at a time!
- I asked a raccoon what he did for a living and he said he was in waste management.
- What did the baby raccoon say after sneezing? Ah-choon!
- What did the raccoon say when he found a hidden stash of acorns? Jackpot!
- Why did the raccoon cross the playground? To get to the monkey bars!
- How do you make a raccoon laugh? Put a little trash in front of it!
- Why didn’t the mother raccoon want her baby to play with the skunk? She didn’t want it to pick up any bad habits!
- Did you hear the joke about the raccoon that couldn’t stop eating trash? It was garbage in, garbage out!
- I asked a raccoon if he wanted to go fishing with me and he replied, “I’m not much of a bait-er.”
- What do you call a group of raccoons playing music? A Trash Band!
- What did the mom raccoon say to her kids when they went crazy in the den? “Calm down, we’re not some kind of wild animals!”
- How many raccoons does it take to change a light bulb? None, they’d rather raid the garbage for food in the dark.
Masked Bandits: Hilarious ‘Raccoon’ Puns & Jokes for Kids
Unleash the Humorous Side of Nature with these Funny Quotes about Raccoons
- “I’ve never met a raccoon with a bad attitude, but I have met some trash cans that would disagree.”
- Raccoons: the original bandits with a sweet tooth for stolen snacks.
- “I may not have a six-pack, but I have a trash-pack, thanks to my friendly neighborhood raccoons.”
- “Raccoons are like professional dumpster divers, except they don’t get paid and they have a mask on.”
- “You know you’ve hit rock bottom when a raccoon judges your trash as not good enough to rummage through.”
- “Raccoons don’t need fancy burglar alarms, they just need a neighborhood with easily accessible garbage cans.”
- “One man’s trash is a raccoon’s treasure.”
- “If you see a raccoon getting into a garbage can, just remember they’re just living their best life.”
- “Raccoons are nature’s perfect mix of adorable and mischievous.”
- “I wish I had half the determination of a raccoon trying to get into a locked trash can.”
- “Raccoons can make even the most mundane act of dumpster diving look graceful.”
- “Just because raccoons have tiny hands doesn’t mean they can’t accomplish big things, like stealing your heart.”
- “A trash panda by any other name is still a mischievous and lovable raccoon.”
- “Raccoons may not be able to use tools like humans, but they sure know how to use their paws to get what they want.”
- “Raccoons may have a reputation for being sneaky, but they’re just misunderstood creatures trying to survive in a world full of trash.”
- “I didn’t choose the raccoon life, the raccoon life chose me.”
- “Just a friendly reminder that raccoons are just chubby, fluffy, masked cats that love garbage.”
Raccoon humor: A clever collection of funny proverbs and wise sayings
- “A wise raccoon always keeps his trash bin clean.”
- “A free meal isn’t worth trapping yourself.”
- “A raccoon’s mask is his best disguise.”
- “Don’t trash talk a raccoon unless you want your garbage raided.”
- “A clean raccoon makes a happy raccoon.”
- “Don’t let greed lead you into a trashy situation.”
- “A raccoon’s paws are his oven mitts for stolen goodies.”
- “A wise raccoon knows when to hit the road and leave the garbage behind.”
- “A trash can is a raccoon’s treasure chest.”
- “A full belly is a raccoon’s biggest success.”
- “A messy raccoon is a misunderstood raccoon.”
- “One man’s trash is a raccoon’s feast.”
- “A raccoon with a plan always gets the cream of the crop.”
- “Don’t be afraid to dig for what you want, just like a raccoon.”
- “Raccoons don’t believe in waiting for handouts, they create their own opportunity.”
- “A well-fed raccoon is a happy coon.”
- “When life gives you lemons, find a raccoon to steal them for you.”
Unleash Your Inner ‘Raccoon’-teur with These Hilarious Double Entendres Puns
- “I’m sorry, I can’t lend you my trash can. I already have a raccoon-tract for it.”
- “Don’t judge a raccoon by its mask, they’re all just trying to blend in.”
- “Why did the raccoon cross the road? To get to the ‘other side’ of the dumpster!”
- “Raccoons are like teenagers, they love staying up all night and making a mess in the kitchen.”
- “My neighbor accused me of stealing their trash, I told them it was just raccoons being ‘nosey’.”
- “Did you hear about the raccoon who was nominated for an Oscar? He was a ‘trashodor’.”
- “I saw a raccoon at the gym the other day, it was doing ‘pawlates’.”
- “Why are raccoons such good detectives? They always wear ‘masks’ and have ‘bandit’ eyes.”
- “I tried to make friends with a raccoon, but he just saw me as a ‘snack’.”
- “Raccoons are like toddlers, they’ll stick their hands in anything and everything.”
- “I invited a raccoon to my birthday party, but he only came for the ‘cakool’.”
- “Raccoons are experts at recycling, they’ll turn your garbage into their treasure.”
- “I asked a raccoon if he wanted to cuddle, but he just gave me a ‘paws’ and walked away.”
- “Why did the raccoon get kicked out of the casino? He was caught ‘playing’ with the cards.”
- “I tried to teach my pet raccoon some tricks, but he just kept ‘pawcrastinating’.”
- “Did you know that raccoons are always up for a game of ‘hide and seek’? They’re masters of ‘masking’.”
- “They say the key to a raccoon’s heart is through its stomach, but I think it’s just ‘garbage’.”
Rac-coonquer Your Friends with These Recursive Raccoon Puns
- What do you call a mischievous raccoon? A ring-tailed recursor!
- Why did the rebel raccoon get arrested? Because he was a recursive!
- How does a raccoon navigate the woods? With a recurss-sion map!
- What’s a raccoon’s favorite type of joke? A recursive pun, of course!
- Why couldn’t the raccoon stop eating his dinner? Because it was a recursive meal!
- How do you make a raccoon’s day? With a pun that goes back to the beginning, over and over again!
- What did the math-loving raccoon say? “I love calculating recursive sequences!”
- Why did the raccoon keep going back to the same trash can? Because he was stuck in a recursive loop!
- How did the raccoon win the race? He followed the recursive route!
- What’s a raccoon’s favorite type of puzzle? A recursive crossword!
- Why was the raccoon confused? Because he couldn’t figure out the solution to a recursive conundrum!
- How does a raccoon answer a phone call? With a recursive hello!
- What’s a raccoon’s favorite subject in school? Recursion, of course!
- Why was the raccoon late to the party? He was stuck in a recursive dance move!
- How does a raccoon make sure he remembers something important? With a recursive reminder!
- Why did the raccoon open his own recycling business? He wanted to create a recursive cycle of waste reduction!
Raccoon’ing up the Language with Hilarious Malapropisms
- I’m going to tiger my shoe.
- “Let’s giraffe some milk for our cereal.”
- “I’m really good at catting the pie crust.”
- “I can’t wait to kangaroo up with my friends this weekend.”
- “I’m sorry, I must have zebra-zoned out during that meeting.”
- “I need to go octopus my car before we leave.”
- “I have to go penguin my grandma from the airport.”
- “I’m really bad at dogging my feelings.”
- “I’m going to emo the grass before it rains.”
- “I can’t believe I hippo-d myself into this situation.”
- “I’m going to gorilla tape my jeans back together.”
- “I accidentally llama-ted my hair with purple dye.”
- “Can someone help me alligator the groceries in?”
- “I think I have a parrot on my shoulder.”
- “I’ll just skunk this test and hope for the best.”
- I’m going to turtle on this couch and watch TV all night.
- “I can’t wait to koala-copter through the city.”
Silly ‘Spooncoon’ Riddles: Playing with ‘Raccoon’ Spoonerisms
- ‘Rack a spoon’ instead of ‘Rock a spoon’
- ‘Bake a rasker’ instead of ‘Race a baker’
- ‘Coon lid’ instead of ‘Loon kid’
- ‘Roon sack’ instead of ‘Spoon rack’
- ‘Fur cheek’ instead of ‘Cheer book’
- ‘Spoon bam’ instead of ‘Boon spam’
- ‘Hoon ring’ instead of ‘Moon ring’
- ‘Spoon rattle’ instead of ‘Raccoon settle’
- ‘Poon crease’ instead of ‘Croon peace’
- ‘Roon pad’ instead of ‘Spoon rad’
- ‘Shoon ties’ instead of ‘Tune shows’
- ‘Spoon latch’ instead of ‘Raccoon snatch’
- ‘Sack racoon’ instead of ‘Rock saucer’
- ‘Bask a coon’ instead of ‘Cock a spoon’
- ‘Tea raccoon’ instead of ‘Tree acorn’
- ‘Rinse a coon’ instead of ‘Conceal a snooze’
- ‘Poon leaf’ instead of ‘Loon thief’
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon’t you want to hear another knock-knock joke?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon a little bit faster, I think the door’s jammed!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon around the Christmas tree!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon-na go to sleep yet? It’s past my bedtime!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon your doorstep, don’t you remember inviting me over?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon-believable, I can’t believe you fell for that one!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon-tinue the story, I’m on the edge of my seat!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon your bell, hope you weren’t napping!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon-gratulations on making it to Friday!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon eyes closed, can you guess who?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon-chronistic meeting you here, I was just thinking about you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon-aissance man, at your service!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon-ters need a vacation, I’m just taking a break!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon-d the corner, I heard you could use a hand.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon-nion rings, anyone?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon-search of the best joke, I think I found it!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon-und the bend, there’s a surprise waiting for you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Raccoon. Raccoon who? Raccoon’t forget to laugh today!
Ending on a Punny Note: Raccoon-tastic Fun!
Well folks, that’s it for our collection of hilarious raccoon puns. We hope they made you laugh, or at least rolled your eyes in amusement. If you’re still craving more pun-tastic humor, be sure to check out our other posts full of clever wordplay and cheesy jokes. Who knows, you might even find a new favorite pun to add to your repertoire. Now go forth and spread the laughter – just be sure to keep an eye out for those sneaky raccoons!