Welcome to our list of the best puns about nuns! We promise these jokes will have you laughing so hard, you’ll be seeing halos. Whether you’re a kid or an adult, these clever quips will have you in stitches. Don’t worry, they’re all PG-rated so you won’t have to confess your guilty pleasure. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the humor with a positive attitude. We wouldn’t want to nun-derwhelm you with anything less than hilarious!
Nunnies and Jokes That’ll Have You Saying Amen- Editor’s Picks for Nun Puns & Jokes
- Q: Why did the nun join a gang? A: She wanted to become a sister in arms.
- Q: What did the nun say after she farted? A: “Forgive me Father, for I have tooted.”
- Q: What do you call a group of rebellious nuns? A: A holy riot.
- Did you hear about the nun who joined the circus? She was the holy roller.
- Q: What’s a nun’s favorite type of crafting? A: Nun-chucks.
- Q: What do you call a nun who loves to cook? A: A holy chef.
- Q: Why did the nun go skydiving? A: She wanted to take her faith to new heights.
- Q: How do nuns stay in shape? A: They go to mass-cercise.
- Q: What did the nun say when she won the lottery? A: “Holy cow!”
- Q: Why did the nun cross the road? A: To get to church on time.
- Q: What did the nun say to the potato chip? A: “Holy chip!”
- Q: What do you call a nun who’s always late? A: Sloth-sister.
- Q: Why did the nun start a woodworking business? A: She wanted to make the world a holier place.
- Q: What do you call a group of nuns on motorbikes? A: Sisters in motion.
- Q: How does a nun greet people in the morning? A: Holy good morning!
- Q: What’s a nun’s favorite type of music? A: Gospel rock.
- Q: How do you make a nun laugh?
Get Ready to Giggle: Hilarious ‘Funny ‘Nun’ One-Liner Jokes to Brighten Your Day!
- Why did the nun go on a diet? She wanted to be a light sister!
- What do you call a nun who loves to cook? A cannunbal!
- Did you hear about the nun who started a singing group? They called themselves “The Heavenly Voices Choir!”
- What did the nun say when she saw a handsome priest? “Holy moly!”
- Why did the nun become a referee? She wanted to keep the game holy!
- What’s the best way to communicate with a nun? With a pray-perclip!
- Why did the nun start dancing in the church? She heard it was a hopping place!
- What did the nun say when she saw a donut? “Let us glaze!”
- What do you call a nun who is also a doctor? Sister-in-scrubs!
- What did the nun say when she saw the falling prices at the store? “That’s nun-sense!”
- Why did the nun bring a ruler to bed? She wanted to measure her holy dreams!
- What do you call a nun who loves to read? Sister-story!
- Why did the nun refuse to go to the beach? She didn’t want to be seen in a habit!
- What’s a nun’s favorite mode of transportation? A coracle, because it’s holy!
- What do you call a group of nuns on vacation? A nun-tourage!
- Why did the nun refuse to play cards? She didn’t want to gamble with her halo!
- What did the nun say when she saw a mouse in the monastery? “Bless me cheese!”
Unleashing Heavenly Humor: QnA Jokes & Puns about Nuns!
- What do you call a nun who loves to garden? A farmer’s sister!
- What did the nun say when she saw a pile of leaves? “Leaf it to God!”
- Why did the nun go to the baseball game? She heard there would be a lot of foul play.
- What do you call a nun with a map? Sister navigator!
- How do nuns listen to music? In ‘Solemn’ headphones.
- Why did the nun need a new computer? Hers was full of ‘habit’!
- What kind of training do nuns receive in driving? None, they just ‘cross’ their fingers and hope for the best.
- What did the nun say to her phone when it stopped working? “Oh God, have mercy on my cell!”
- How does a nun keep her hair in place? With holy ‘tresses’.
- Why did the nun join the circus? She wanted to be a ‘ring’ leader.
- What do you call a nun who only makes cold meals? A sister-in-law!
- Why don’t nuns like to go on rollercoasters? They prefer the ‘straight and narrow’ path.
- How does a nun count her blessings? One ‘Hail Mary’ at a time.
- Why did the nun get reprimanded at work? She was caught wearing a ‘nun’ uniform.
- What kind of car does a nun drive? A ‘prayer’us.
- Why was the nun kicked out of the bakery? She kept adding ‘eXtra Hail Marys’ to the recipe.
- How does a nun’s dog greet visitors? With a ‘paw-fect’ bow.
Dad’s Holy Humor: Hilarious Jokes about Nuns
- Why did the nun go on a diet? She wanted to become a light sister!
- What do you call a nun who walks into a bar? Sister Margarita!
- Why did the nun join the aerobics class? She wanted to improve her habit-tude!
- What kind of car does a nun drive? A Bible-beater!
- How does a nun earn extra money? By selling holy water through the faucet!
- What does a nun say when she’s heading to the beach? “I’m off to see the Sister!”
- Why couldn’t the nuns play cards? They kept getting dealt bad habits!
- How does a nun make her tea? She uses holy water and a prayer kettle!
- Why did the nun bring a ruler to choir practice? To keep the high notes in line!
- What did the nun say when she saw her reflection in the mirror? “Holy Sister-moly!”
- How does a nun fix a broken chair? With some habit-filler!
- Why was the nun feeling down? The Father had taken her ruler away!
- What do you call a group of nuns on roller skates? The Holy Rollers!
- What happens when a nun goes skydiving? She gets a habit-hangover!
- Why was the nun always studying anatomy? She wanted to learn the ins and “nun”-s of the human body!
- What did one nun say to the other when she was procrastinating? Get off your holy habits and start writing!
- What’s a nun’s favorite sport? Nun-chucks!
Divine Humor: Clever ‘Nun’ Puns & Jokes for Kids
- What did the nun say when she lost her rosary? “Oh heavenly beads!”
- Why did the nun switch to decaf? She didn’t want any habit-forming substances.
- How does a nun make holy water? She boils the hell out of it.
- What did the nun say when the priest told her a joke? “That’s inappropriate, Father!”
- Why did the nun go to the baseball game? She heard there was going to be a great in-nun-ing pitch.
- Why did the nun go on a diet? She wanted to look more habit-ual.
- What do you call a tech-savvy nun? A nun-ja.
- Why did the nun cross the road? To get to the convent on the other side.
- How does a nun travel? On a prayer-plane.
- Why did the nun go to the bank? She needed to make a de-nun-ciation.
- What do you call a nun with a sense of humor? A pun-isher.
- How do nuns eat their French fries? In holy-olive oil.
- What’s a nun’s favorite type of weather? Nun-shine.
- How does a nun make sure she’s not late for mass? She sets her alarm for a nun-trial time.
- What did the nun say when she saw a cat sleeping in her bed? “That’s purr-fect!”
- How did the nun get her hair to stay in place all day? With convent-ional hairspray.
- Why did the nun go bungee jumping? She wanted to feel closer to heaven.
Unleash Your Inner Nun-sense of Humor with These Funny Quotes about Nuns
- ) “Nuns may be married to God, but the rest of us are still waiting for that holy bond.”
- ) “They say nuns live a life of prayer and contemplation, but I think they’re really just binge-watching Netflix.”
- ) “If nuns were superheroes, their superpower would definitely be guilt-tripping.”
- ) “I don’t always understand nuns, but I hear they’re habit-forming.”
- ) “Nuns have a habit of never saying habit.”
- ) “The only time a nun gets turned on is when she’s blowing out her candles.”
- ) “Nuns may be virgins, but they sure know how to raise hell.”
- ) “I always thought the secret to being a good nun was to have a killer poker face.”
- ) “Nuns are basically the original squad goals – cloistered, celibate, and always rocking matching outfits.”
- ) “Behind every great nun is a bunch of prayer warriors she secretly wants to strangle.”
- ) “Nuns make the best teachers – they’ve perfected the art of discipline.”
- ) “If nuns ruled the world, confession would probably be mandatory during happy hour.”
- ) “You know you’re a bad Catholic when even the nuns start giving you side-eye.”
- ) “Nuns have a special connection to God and department stores – they’re always asking for miracles in both places.”
- ) “You might not notice it, but every time you swear a nun somewhere is losing her rosary.”
- ) “Never underestimate the power of a nun – those rulers they carried in school weren’t just for show.”
- ) “Nuns have taken the vow of poverty, but their stash of chocolate and wine suggests otherwise.
Nun-sense: Hilarious Proverbs & Clever Sayings about Nuns
- “A lazy ‘Nun’ always turns to prayer for a quick fix.”
- “A wise ‘Nun’ knows the secret ingredient to any dish is love and a pinch of holy water.”
- “A ‘Nun’ never calls shotgun, she simply says ‘God’s will be done.'”
- “A ‘Nun’ always has a rosary handy for impromptu dance parties with the Lord.”
- “They say ‘Nuns’ are married to God, but we all know he’s just a rebound from their true love: Nutella.”
- “A ‘Nun’ may dress modestly, but her sass is always on point.”
- “The best advice comes from a ‘Nun’ who knows how to drop holy bars.”
- “A ‘Nun’ never curses, she just uses creative divine expressions.”
- “A ‘Nun’ never cries over spilled milk, but she might shed a tear for lost communion wine.”
- “A ‘Nun’ knows the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but the way to heaven is through his soul.”
- “They say ‘Nuns’ take a vow of poverty, but have you seen their shoe collection?”
- “A ‘Nun’ never gossips, she just spreads holy rumors.”
- “A ‘Nun’ always has the perfect comeback, thanks to her daily conversations with God.”
- “When life gives you lemons, a ‘Nun’ turns them into the best batch of lemon bars you’ve ever tasted.”
- “A ‘Nun’s’ weapon of choice? A rosary for prayer and a ruler for discipline.”
- “A ‘Nun’ knows the cure for any ailment: a cup of tea and a good confession.”
- “If you can’t handle a ‘Nun’s’ wrath, you probably don’t want to know what she writes in her prayer journal.”
Getting Nun-senseical with Double Entendre Puns
- “Did you hear about the nun who joined a gang? She became a nun-for-hire!”
- “Why did the nun feel guilty about stealing from the church? Because she was a nun-embezzler!”
- “What did the rebellious nun say when her superiors told her to stop misbehaving? Nun of your business!”
- “Why did the nun quit her job at the brewery? She couldn’t handle all the habit-forming substances!”
- “What do you call a nun who is also a magician? Sister Sorceress!”
- “Why did the nun choose a life of celibacy? She didn’t want to be in a cloister-fobic relationship!”
- “What did the nun say when she saw her crush? Holy haberdasher!”
- “Why did the nun decide to become a rapper? She wanted to spread the gospel with some sick rhymes!”
- “What did the nun say when she saw a banana peel on the ground? Holy split!”
- “Why did the nun take up juggling? She wanted to be a habit-ual multitasker!”
- “What did the nun say when she found out she was going to be assigned to a convent in Hawaii? Aloha habit!”
- “Why did the nun become a travel agent? She wanted to go on a biblical pilgrimage!”
- “Did you hear about the nun who loved to cook? She was known for her habit-forming dishes!”
- “Why did the nun start a fashion line? She wanted to create stylish habits!”
- “What did the nun say when she accidentally stepped on a Lego? Hail Mary!”
- “Why did the nun decide to become a taxi driver? She wanted to spread the love of God with every fare!”
Divine Humor: Recursive Puns about ‘Nun’ in Habit-forming Jokes
- Why did the nun go to the bakery? She heard they had some heavenly buns.
- Did you hear about the nun who couldn’t stop talking? She was a nunstopable chatterbox.
- How many nuns does it take to change a light bulb? Nun, because they prefer to stay in the dark.
- Why don’t nuns go on roller coasters? They prefer a more habit-forming lifestyle.
- What did the nun say when she saw a donut? Holy roller!
- Why did the nun cross the road? To get to the other tide of faith.
- What do you call a group of nuns on a cruise ship? A sisterhood of the traveling habits.
- Why did the nun start a farm? She wanted to grow some nun-cil.
- What do you call a nun with a map? A nun-navigator.
- How does a nun make her coffee? She uses nunsense.
- Why did the nun become a barber? She heard they specialize in holy cuts.
- Did you hear about the nun who opened a restaurant? The food was divine.
- Why did the nun go skydiving? She wanted to take her faith to new heights.
- What do nuns do for fun? They like to go nun-skiing.
- Why did the nun start a fitness class? She wanted to get her body and soul in shape.
- Did you hear about the nun with a sweet tooth? She always has a holy truffle in her pocket.
- Why was the nun happy when she found a four-leaf clover? It was like finding a nun-corn.
From Nuns to Puns: Hilarious ‘Nun’ Malapropisms You Can’t Resist
- Singing a burrito instead of singing a ballad.
- Popping a gambler instead of popping a balloon.
- Eating a banana instead of eating a bandana.
- Riding a broom instead of riding a limousine.
- Drinking a book instead of drinking a beer.
- Swinging a Newport instead of swinging a golf club.
- Cooking a bunny instead of cooking a casserole.
- Teaching a cucumber instead of teaching a subject.
- Buying a bicycle instead of buying a diamond.
- Running a marathon instead of running a business.
- Painting a potato instead of painting a portrait.
- Shopping for socks instead of shopping for stocks.
- Texting a lion instead of texting a line.
- Tying a shoelace instead of tying a necklace.
- Dancing a tambourine instead of dancing a tango.
- Watching Netflix instead of watching the news.
- Playing Monopoly instead of playing the piano.
Nun’s Fun with Spoonerisms: Mixing Up Words in Hilarious Ways!
- “Go and bit a sharming chariot” (instead of “Go and charm a biting shark”)
- “Take a praxis rehearsal” (instead of “practice relaxation”)
- “Nill the marbles” (instead of “fill the narbles”)
- “Bake a runana” (instead of “make a banana run”)
- “Pun the night” (instead of “run the fight”)
- “Shing my torts” (instead of “ting my shorts”)
- “Rock the cove” (instead of “cock the raven”)
- “Blaze the perfume” (instead of “praise the bloom”)
- “Lick the sat” (instead of “stick the lad”)
- “Jink the Boker” (instead of “drink the Joker”)
- “Flip the pact” (instead of “rip the flag”)
- “Crud the mow” (instead of “mud the crow”)
- “Bunch the conies” (instead of “crunch the bones”)
- “Fail the prews” (instead of “pail the fries”)
- “Chork the spocolate” (instead of “work the chocolate”)
- “Rump the dump” (instead of “jump the ramp”)
- “Law the card” (instead of “saw the lard”)
Unleashing Holy Humor: Knock-knock Jokes about Nuns
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun of your business!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun you’re talking to!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-sense!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-believable!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun ya business, that’s who!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun of your concern!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-too-bright!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-accomplished!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-thing to see here!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-shall pass!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-believer!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-derivatives!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-deniable!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-bearable!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-senseical!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-canny!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-ja business!
Forgive Us, But These Nun Jokes Rock!
So there you have it, folks! 170+ heavenly puns about our devoted and habit-wearing friends, the nuns. But don’t stop here, go ahead and check out our other related puns and jokes posts for a holy laugh riot. Whether you’re a believer or not, these puns are sure to make you say “nun-credible”. And remember, when life gets tough, just nun in the puns!