Best Banking Jokes: A Clever List of Hilarious Puns for Kids (and Adults!)
Are you ready to withdraw some serious laughter from your funny bank? Get your deposit of humor ready because we’ve got the best banking jokes and puns to make your day a little more positive!
Humor is the best medicine, and it’s even better when paired with finance. So whether you’re a banker, a teller, or just someone who loves a good laugh, these jokes are sure to make your piggy bank burst with joy. Let’s get our silly savings on and dive into some funny jokes about banking that will have you rolling in the laughter deposit!
(Time to cash in those jokes!)
Funny Funds: Banking Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks
- Why did the banker go to jail? He was guilty of emBEARZling funds.
- How do bankers stay cool in the summer? They have a lot of interest in staying chill.
- I’m not sure what’s worse: getting a loan or getting a root canal. Either way, I’m gonna be in debt.
- What do you call a banking conference? A bunch of financial analysts having a spreadsheeting party.
- I accidentally used my credit card instead of my debit card. Now I’m in debt and denial.
- What do you call a loan officer who can’t calculate interest? A mathemortgage.
- I went to open a new bank account, but they said I needed two forms of identification. So I brought my left hand and my right hand.
- Why couldn’t the banker go to the party? He was overdrawn.
- They say money can’t buy happiness. But I’d rather cry in a mansion than in my studio apartment.
- How do you make a small fortune? Start with a large fortune and open a bank.
- What did the bank robber say when he ran out of money bags? “Looks like I’ve hit my cash limit.”
- Why did the banker take an umbrella to work? In case of a liquid asset.
- I asked my bank for a loan, but they said I needed a co-signer. So I got my imaginary friend Joey to sign for me.
- What do you call a bank manager who’s always stressed? A stressed asset.
- Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend? He wanted to focus on his interest.
- Where do moneys go on vacation? To the Cayman Islands, of course.
- What’s a banker’s favorite song? “Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems.”
- Why did the pig go into banking? He wanted to make a lot of hog-spots.
- What did the bank teller say when she saw a ghost? “Don’t haunt me, I’ve got enough on my plate already.”
- What’s a banker’s favorite mode of transportation? The cash cow, of course.
Laugh all the way to the bank with these funny one-liner jokes about banking!
- I went to deposit a check but the bank refused because it was a genetic inheritance.
- I withdrew some money from the ATM and it started talking to me, turns out it was a cash cow.
- My wife told me she wants me to buy her something “off the market”, so I invested in stocks.
- I was so excited to open a savings account, until I realized they were talking about money.
- I asked my bank for a loan, but they told me they were broke, couldn’t believe my ears.
- I wanted to open a joint account with my spouse, but they said they only accept bone marrow now.
- I tried to make a payment with my debit card, but apparently it was too shy to reveal the pin.
- I couldn’t believe it when my bank account balance hit zero, must have been a glitch in the matrix.
- I called customer service to ask about my account, but they just laughed and hung up.
- I thought I was getting a good deal when they offered me a banker’s box, turns out it’s just cardboard.
- I asked the bank for a loan because I wanted to go on a shopping spree, turns out they only issue business loans.
- My bank statement was so funny, it almost made me laugh all the way to bankruptcy court.
- I applied for a credit card but was rejected, apparently my credit score was as low as the interest rates.
- The teller asked me if I wanted my transaction receipt, I said no thanks, my memory is like a vault.
- My bank account was hacked, and all I got was an overdraft fee.
- My bank manager told me to keep my finances in check, so I started balancing my checkbook on my head.
- I went to make a deposit, but all they had were coin rolls, felt like I was playing slot machines.
- I invested in a piggy bank bank, but they went bankrupt because they couldn’t break the big bills.
- I thought I hit the jackpot when I found a $100 bill on the street, turns out it was just a counterfeit.
- I asked the bank for some financial advice, but they just told me to take a hike, literally.
Bank on These QnA Jokes and Puns for a Good Laugh!
- Why did the banker go on a diet? Because he wanted to slim down his waLL-Et.
- What did the ATM say when it ran out of money? “I’m sorry, I’m just a cash machine, I can’t legally be held accountable for your financial disappointment.”
- How did the banker turn his luck around? He invested in a rabbit farm, because he heard that rabbits were multiplying like interest rates.
- Why was the banker always stressed out? Because he had a lot of interest to pay off.
- How does a banker make popcorn? He uses a savings account – it accrues interest quickly!
- What do you call a rich banker who’s also a weatherman? A financial forecaster.
- What kind of currency do vampires like to use? Blood banks.
- Why did the banker refuse to lend money to the clown? Because he thought he was a credit risk.
- Why did the banker retire early? Because he wanted to spend more time with his interest.
- How did the thief get away with robbing a bank? He had an escape account set up beforehand.
- What does a banker say when he’s about to go on vacation? “I’m going to leave my money to do the work for me.”
- Why did the pig open an account at the bank? Because he needed a savings “pork”folio.
- How does a high-five sound at a bank? Cha-ching!
- Why did the banker join a self-help group? He needed to work on his emotional reserves.
- How do banks like their music? With lots of notes.
- What is a banker’s favorite place to eat lunch? AT McAfee – they serve the best hedge fund sandwiches.
- Why did the bank go on a trip to Hawaii? To add some tropical bonds to their portfolio.
- How do you make a small fortune in the stock market? Start with a large fortune.
- What do you call a skunk who works at a bank? A “smelly banker.”
- Why did the bank’s annual report have such a sad ending? Because it was a fiscal year.
Dad Jokes about Banking: Laughter is the best currency!
- Why did the banker go to jail? He was teller-ing too many jokes!
- I asked for a loan from the bank, but they said I didn’t have enough collateral. I guess that means I’m not a good decorator.
- Why did the banker go to work on the weekend? He wanted to make some overtime!
- Did you hear about the bank that started selling fish? They wanted to offer their customers a little bit of liquid(ity) asset.
- I told my wife she should open a checking account at the bank. She said, “I don’t have one, it must have bounced!”
- I went to the bank and asked the teller if she could check my balance. She pushed me.
- Why did the bank start selling calendars? So they could keep track of all their interest!
- My son asked me what I do for a living. I told him I make money for a bank. He said, “So you’re a bank robber?”
- Did you hear about the banker who quit his job to become a chef? He said he needed a change of lettuce (lettuce = let us).
- Why did the ATM go to therapy? It had a lot of issues to deposit.
- I was going to invest in the stock market, but decided against it. I didn’t want to take any stock in the risk.
- Why does a bank have a mortgage party for their customers? To celebrate when they finally pay off their debts!
- I tried to withdraw some money from the ATM, but it said I had insufficient funds. So I put in some chips and salsa instead.
- I asked my banker for advice on my investments. He said to just give it a shot! (A shot = a small amount of alcohol)
- Why did the bank hire a clown? To keep everyone’s interest (interest = attention) rates high!
- I tried to deposit a check, but the teller said it was no good. I asked, “What’s the check’s problem?”
- My dad always says a budget is just a method of going broke slowly. Thanks, Dad.
- I told the bank teller I wanted to withdraw all my money, and she asked if I wanted large or small bills. I said, “Either way, I’m breaking the bank!”
- I tried to use my credit card to buy a calendar, but it was declined. The cashier said, “Sorry, your credit must have expired.”
- My dad always said to keep an emergency fund. So I put $100 in a jar labeled “emergency”, and then I realized he meant money for unexpected situations.
Deposit Some Laughter with These ‘Banking’ Puns & Jokes for Kids
- Why was the bank manager stressed out? Because he had too many loans on his mind!
- Did you hear about the currency that went to rehab? It was in intensive care.
- What did one coin say to the other? We make perfect cents!
- Why did the bank keep a piggy bank? Because it was a saver!
- What do you call a group of financial experts who love to dance? The Cha-Cha-Cha-Tellers!
- Why did the bank robber put his money in a Swiss account? Because he wanted some security!
- Did you hear about the banker who got fired? He was really devastated and felt deVALUED.
- What did the dollar bill say to the quarter? It’s nice to see you have three cents of humor!
- Why did the bank need a new vault? Because they wanted to keep up with the changing times!
- Did you hear about the bank that got into gardening? They had some serious hedge funds!
- What did the ATM say to its customer? Please withdraw responsibility and don’t bounce into overdraft!
- Why did the bank need to go on a diet? Because it had too many fat cats!
- What did the takeout menu at the bank say? Withdrawal is free, but deposit is because we’re not clowns!
- Did you hear about the currency that became a singer? It was quite popular on the billboards!
- Why did the bank hire a clown? Because they wanted to improve their cash flow!
- What do you call a bank account that always tells the truth? A straight account!
- Did you hear about the banker who always had a cold? He was always counting money!
- What did the loan say to its master? I don’t know about you, but I feel interest in this relationship!
- Why did the bank need a new janitor? Because the old one kept sweeping things under the rug!
- What did the bank tell its customers when it was closing for the day? Have a balance-ful day and don’t worry, we’ll always be here to give you a credit!
The only thing funnier than overdraft fees? Funny Quotes about Banking!
- “I put all my money in a bank account, but it keeps telling me there’s a withdrawal limit of ‘life goals.'”
- “My bank account is like a maze – I’m always trying to find my way out.”
- “I have a love-hate relationship with my bank: I love the idea of having money, but hate that they have it instead.”
- “I never trust anyone who says ‘trust me, it’s just a small fee’ – especially when it comes to banking.”
- “I just opened a new bank account for my piggy bank – it’s growing at a much higher interest rate than the one I have for myself.”
- “Why do banks have chairs? So you can sit and contemplate all the money they’re making off your fees.”
- “I don’t always check my bank account, but when I do, it’s usually just to make sure it still exists.”
- “The only reason I go to the ATM is to feel like I’m playing a real life game of Whac-A-Mole with my money.”
- “Banking tip: Always keep your receipts – that way you can track exactly how much you’re losing.”
- “I have a fear of heights, which is why I never check my bank account balance.”
- “I think my bank is trying to be funny by sending me an email notification every time my balance hits zero.”
- “I don’t understand why banks have 24-hour customer service – I’ve never had the urge to discuss my finances at 3AM.”
- “Why do banks give out loans but not hugs? Sometimes all I need is some emotional support, not more debt.”
- “Every time I withdraw money from my bank account, I feel like I’m robbing myself.”
- “My credit score is basically just a reflection of all the times I’ve said ‘screw it, let’s go shopping!'”
- “Why did the bank teller give me that suspicious look when I asked if they could break a $100 bill with my piggy bank?”
- “I tried to save my money, but it just kept slipping through my fingers – apparently that’s not how bank accounts work.”
- “I don’t always have enough money for a fancy dinner, but when I do, I usually end up at the drive-thru.”
- “I think I’m finally an adult – I have a mortgage, a 401k, and a constant fear of overdraft fees.”
- “If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?”
Keeping your money safe and your spirits high: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Banking
- “You can’t bank on your luck, but you can bank on your banker’s luck.”
- “A banker’s job is like a game of Tetris – always trying to fit all the pieces together.”
- “Money doesn’t grow on trees, but it sure seems to miraculously multiply in the bank.”
- “A penny saved is a penny earned, but a penny invested in the stock market could be a million dollars earned.”
- “A wise man once said, ‘Money talks,’ but a banker knows it really just makes transactions.”
- “Banks may close, but financial advice will always be open for business.”
- “A closed purse never catches any fees, but an open one might get robbed by the bank.”
- “A good banker is like a magician – they can make your money disappear and reappear in all the right places.”
- “Paying off debt is like playing a never-ending game of Whac-A-Mole.”
- “You can’t judge a bank by its façade, but you can judge it by its fees.”
- “A bank loan is like a relationship – if you don’t pay attention, the interest will creep up on you.”
- “My banker told me to invest in bonds, but I think he just wanted me to have my money tied up.”
- “You can’t escape death or taxes, but a savvy banker might help you avoid debt collectors.”
- “Money talks, but a banker’s calculator speaks louder.”
- “Saving money is like trying to resist a dessert buffet – it takes self-control and a strong will.”
- “A bank is like a maze – sometimes it’s hard to find your way out without losing some money along the way.”
- “The only thing certain in life is death, taxes, and bank fees.”
- “Money may not buy happiness, but it can definitely buy you a good credit score.”
- “A bank teller’s smile is just as fake as the interest rate on a credit card.”
- “A banker’s idea of a ‘windfall’ is when you finally pay off your mortgage.”
Making ‘cents’ of Banking: Double Entendres and Puns in the Financial World
- “I had to take out a loan to cover my expenses, it’s like my bank account was getting a bit too ‘bank-tight’!”
- “I keep getting overdraft fees from my bank, I guess you could say I’m their ‘most valuable’ customer.”
- “I tried to deposit some cash, but the bank teller said my bills were too ‘suspicious’ and accused me of ‘laundering’ money.”
- “I thought I had enough funds in my account, but it turned out to be a ‘bank-rupt’ situation.”
- “My bank is like a ‘spiral staircase’, every time I try to climb up by saving money, I end up falling deeper into debt.”
- “I asked for a loan at the bank, but they said I needed a ‘collateral’ first…I didn’t realize they meant an actual item!”
- “I finally hit the jackpot and won a trip to Vegas, but then my bank account said, ‘no dice’ and froze all my funds.”
- “My savings account is like a ‘black hole’, no matter how much I put in, it always seems to disappear.”
- “I was so excited to finally pay off my debt, I almost hugged the bank teller…but then I remembered personal space is important in ‘banking’ transactions.”
- “I feel like I’m in a never-ending game of ‘Monopoly’, except instead of owning real estate, I own just a bunch of debt.”
- “My bank keeps sending me letters saying my balance is ‘insufficient’, but I really feel like they’re calling me ‘insufficient’ in life.”
- “I asked my bank for a ‘rain check’ on my bills, but they just laughed and pointed to the ATM outside.”
- “I feel like my credit score is like a ‘waiter’ at a busy restaurant, always judging me and making me feel inadequate.”
- “I’m pretty sure my bank hates me, every time I log onto my account, it says, ‘user not found’.”
- “I thought I hit the jackpot when I found a twenty dollar bill in my laundry, but then the bank said it was ‘counterfeit’.”
- “I wish saving money was as easy as spending it, then I would be the ‘bank account millionaire’!”
- “I’ll never forget the feeling of lifting my paycheck with anticipation, only to realize it was already spent on ‘bank fees’.”
- “My bank balance is like a seesaw, it keeps going up and down but never stays in the ‘green’ for too long.”
- “I asked my bank for a loan but they said they needed to ‘check my credit score’ first…didn’t realize they meant it literally!”
- I thought a ‘joint account’ was for married couples, turns out it’s just a fancy word for a ‘shared’ bank account.
Bank on these hilariously “interest”-ing recursive puns about banking!
- Why did the ATM go on a date with the calculator? They made a great pair in the banking world, they always come in multiples of $20.
- Did you hear about the bank that went on a diet? It wanted to become more financially slim.
- What did the banker say when he was feeling depressed? I’m feeling debited.
- Why did the bank employee get fired? He kept taking interest in other people’s business.
- I tried to deposit my money at the bank, but they said they were too full. Looks like they were experiencing a liquid assets overflow.
- How does a bank stay warm in winter? With their savings account.
- What did the bank say to its clients on Valentine’s Day? We love interest in you.
- Did you hear that banks are starting to offer loans for vegetables? They’re now offering collard-green mortgages.
- Why did the banker go to jail? He got caught embezzling funds from the piggy banks.
- I don’t trust those online banks, they seem fishy. You could say they’re e-fish-ent.
- What do you call a group of bankers? A financial planning committee.
- Did you hear about the bank that started selling pet insurance? Now both your cat and your savings can have nine lives.
- I heard that they’re making a new musical about banking. It’s called “The Sound of Moola.”
- Why did the bank teller come home late from work? She had to make a lot of bank stops.
- What do you call a bank that only deals with honey? A honey-lender.
- Why did the ATM need a lawyer? It was charged with identity fraud, it kept saying it was giving out “debits.”
- Did you hear about the bank that hired a comedian as their teller? He always makes sure to deposit a few laughs.
- What’s a bank’s favorite plant? A cash cow.
- Why did the bank ask the customer to put their money in a garden? They wanted them to put it in a deposit-plant.
- Did you hear about the banker who went to yoga class? He’s trying to find balance in his checking and savings accounts.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banker – but don’t worry, I’m not here to charge any fees!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bank. Bank who? Bank on me to make you laugh with this joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? Cash me outside, how about that bank account?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Coin. Coin who? Coin a phrase, I need some money!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? ATM. ATM who? ATM going to let me in or do I need to insert my card?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Deposit. Deposit who? Deposit your worries, I’ve got jokes to make you chuckle.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Loan. Loan who? Loan me some laughter, mine’s run out.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Savings. Savings who? Savings my jokes for a rainy day.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Credit. Credit who? Credit where credit is due, these jokes are funny!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Balance. Balance who? Balance your checkbook before you tell any more jokes.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Investment. Investment who? Investment in your happiness by telling you these jokes.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cheque. Cheque who? Cheque out these jokes, they’re a real hoot!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interest. Interest who? Interest-ed in hearing this joke?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Withdrawal. Withdrawal who? Withdrawal all your worries with a good laugh.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Transfers. Transfers who? Transfers overheard someone tell a hilarious banking joke and had to share it with you.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Account. Account who? Account on me to keep the jokes coming.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mortgage. Mortgage who? Mortgage these jokes to make your day a little brighter.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Equity. Equity who? Equity back and enjoy these jokes.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Overdraft. Overdraft who? Overdraft your laughing limit with these jokes.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fees. Fees who? Fees funny how many banking jokes I know?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Collateral. Collateral who? Collateral damage to your funny bone from these jokes.
Banking on These Punny Moments: Farewell Funds!
Well folks, there you have it – 180+ pun-tastic jokes about banking that are sure to make you laugh harder than a banker counting stacks of cash. And if that wasn’t enough to satisfy your comedic cravings, don’t forget to check out our other posts filled with even more hilarious puns and jokes. Who knew banking could be this funny? Keep spreading the laughter and never underestimate the power of a good pun!